Great moments in English teaching

In SAT vocabulary class, we came across ideology. I explained that ideology means doctrines that form or define a group, and that Lenin used the term to refer to indoctrinating people to put a political plan into effect.

Then I remembered that ideologue came up on a recent SAT, so to prompt the students, I asked, “What do you call someone who is trying hard to push their ideology on you? They’ve got this whole set of ideas, they’re really doctrinaire, you just can’t talk reason with them, and they’re going to force you to accept this ideology whether you want to or not?”

And a boy piped up from the back of the room, “My Dad.”

今晚阿超的老師來山上，所以我坐公車回到大橋。山上住了十三年才買車，那十三年每次下臺北都坐公車來回。很久沒坐，可是一從捷運站出來，以前的感覺都回來了：沒有人排隊，剛剛過了一班，要等下一班。那就等吧，不然怎麼辦？心裏念著，前面那班一定是軋輅開的，不然誰飛那麼快？

車子終于來了，林師傅開247。進山路，很熟習的感覺都回來了，發現公車晃的跟轎車不同。

到了屈尺，感覺真的回到幾年前，那位十六個孩子的媽上車，依舊稍微刷卡，依舊沒有刷到，司機例行公事跟她說沒刷到，他們依舊抬槓幾句，然後老媽默然站在門口，到了民壯亭，不用按鈴就靠邊給她下車。天啊，劇本十幾年沒變！

越入山越熟習。到了龜山，司機靠邊停，往後面走去搖醒一位乘客，「你又要坐過站了！」年輕人睡眼惺忪揹著書包踉蹌下車。隧道口會車，前面那班果然是軋輅開的。好吧，開車辛苦，早點回家。

過了忠治，司機叫一個帶孩子的媽媽先把孩子叫醒，比較好下車。過了成功，車上只剩我一個乘客；林師傅記不記得我，不知道，依舊不講話。準備下車，看他方向盤的左手已經藏好一支菸，等最後一個乘客下車就點。

大橋下車，又是一個十分熟習的感覺，回山上真好！跟以前唯一不同的是，溪上多了一座很醜的吊橋放著光害。往回家走吧。

It’s not often I agree with Governor Perry, but this time he got it right. “I was highly offended by what Donald Trump said about John McCain and his years of sacrifice in a dirty, dingy, terrible prison in North Viet Nam. Donald Trump owes every American veteran, and in particular John McCain, an apology.”

Perry further said that Trump’s comments disqualify him from running for President and Commander in Chief. “If he cannot find it in himself to apologize to every veteran of this country, to every individual that has sacrificed and for the families of those young men and women who have died fighting for the freedom of this country, he does not have the character, the discipline, or the resolve to be the President of the United States,” Perry told Radio Iowa.

I strongly disagree with McCain’s politics, but I respect the man. What the odious Trump forgets is that McCain got captured because he was fighting on the front line, while Trump was evading service with draft deferments. The closest Trump got to military service was in his teens when he got kicked out of school for bad behavior and his wealthy father bought him a place in a military academy. He never served in the military and never came close to a war zone. “I don’t like people who get captured.” Trump ran so far and so fast that he never came near our own troops, much less even saw the enemy.

Aside from his other loathsome attributes, this attitude alone disqualifies him from running from President. How could he be Commander in Chief with this attitude? “I don’t like people who get captured.” Maybe if he became President, he would issue every soldier a pistol with orders to shoot yourself rather than get captured. 

如果你最近很忙，不建議看這齣「出境事務所」，因為看了第一集一定會想看第二集~~~~全戲二十集，很精彩：生動、好笑、有內涵。我也聽不懂客語，看字幕就好了。Now’s your chance to watch a really funny but thoughtful serial about a funeral home. You can also practice your Chinese, too, because the main dialect is Hakka, along with Mandarin and Minnan. I don’t know Hakka either, so read the subtitles.

一切都是國民黨的錯；馬英九做甚麼，都是錯的，連他今天穿哪一雙襪子，一定有人罵得很慘。所以我今天要嚴重批判：馬總統已經執政七年，為甚麼沒有把「棒倒」引進臺灣？限總統二十四小時之內給我一個讓我滿意的答覆，不然後果由他負責：如果沒有給我答案，我明天晚上拒絕吃冰棒，已表示我的憤怒！I would like to know why President Obama has been in office for nearly eight years now, and he has yet to make Bo-Taoshi the national sport of the United States. What does he think he is doing!? This PROVES that he wants illegal aliens to flood the country and open the doors for terrorists, and that he was born in Gibraltar. How could anybody possibly want to watch football when you can watch this?
(我本來就不太吃冰棒，可是做人，講話不要太絕，要給自己留個後路。)

I was a little boy in Ottawa, Illinois when the Civil War Centennial began. Stores started selling Civil War hats, but by the time we got there, the blue hats were all sold out. Nobody wanted a gray hat, so by default, Peter and I became rebels. Tommy Dodd bought his hat the next day, so he was a rebel, too. It was always Peter, Tommy Dodd, and me against everybody else when we had battles, and we put up a good fight. I went around chalking on the sidewalks, THE SOUTH SHALL RISE AGAIN!, somewhat to the consternation of our neighbors. For a second grader, I even had some pretty good ideas about State’s Rights.

After the Centennial, living in another state, the rebel hat long outgrown, I became aware of the Civil Rights movement. The meaning of the rebel flag was crystal clear to everybody in America at that time. It was the flag Governor Wallace flew in his fight for segregation and inequality based on skin color. It was the flag people warped by hate flew to keep negroes from getting educated. It was the flag the KKK flew in their marches, in their cross burnings, and in their lynchings. On both sides of the Civil Rights movement, there was no doubt in anybody’s mind that the rebel flag stood for segregation, persecution of negroes, inequality, and hate.

In recent years, there has been a lot of sophistry about southern heritage, that the flag stood for state’s rights and not slavery, and a general rewriting of an embarrassing history. I don’t care about any of that. In my experience, the rebel flag stands for Governor Wallace, the KKK, lynching, “keeping the negroes in their place,” “not letting the negroes get uppity,” and a hateful cast of mind.

The soldiers who flew the rebel flag in battle fought against the Declaration of Independence, against the Constitution, against the Bill of Rights, and against the government of the United States. Some people today like to burn the American flag; this is despicable and childlike, but it is nothing compared to taking up arms to fight against Old Glory. The Stars and Bars is a conquered flag. It is time to take that rag down. If you want to fly it in reenactments and historical drama, go ahead, it is the flag of defeat and hate, so everybody should be reminded of the nation’s dreadful past.

My heart is warmed by South Carolina’s decision to take down the flag. Never again may it wave.

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When I was in college, I found two records of really funny comedy. Yeah, records, black vinyl, Taiwan pirates for NT$12 each. The pirates were legal then, early 1970s. I bought them, one Bill Cosby and the other Cheech and Chong. After a day working on Chinese philosophy and etymology, I’d put on my headphones and laugh myself silly, even though I listened to each dozens of times. American humor is still a closed book to the Chinese mind now, how much more so then. I translated some of the really good parts into Chinese for friends, and would always get this blank stare. I’m pretty inured to it by now.

Bill Cosby was a crack-up, nice guy, a bit iconoclastic, nothing extreme. In later days, long after I had worn out the records and the stereo, I heard that he was a famous father figure, a moral figure, but good luck trying to find any of his stuff in Taiwan.

In recent years, nasty stories about him have been floating around. Is that possible? Could Bill Cosby have raped women? It’s the sort of thing you just hope isn’t true.

Now the story is out. Bill Cosby raped women for decades. The only thing worse than being raped would be having to know the rapist was lauded as a moral figure.

I am glad his victims are finally getting justice. But why couldn’t he have just been a nice guy? He made so many people happy, including a college boy alone in his room laughing at jokes very few other people in the country thought were funny. He was so good at making people laugh, why did he have to go and make other people miserable?

This is good to remember. Keep working.

“A popular government without popular information, or the means of acquiring it, is but a Prologue to a Farce or a Tragedy; or perhaps both. Knowledge will forever govern ignorance. And a people who mean to be their own Governors must arm themselves with the Power that knowledge gives”
-James Madison, 1822

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Happy Fourth of July, everybody. I would like to remind you of the date of this celebration. Once my father got an announcement at work saying, The Fourth of July falls on July 4^th this year…. okay, can’t argue with that….

Years ago, around 1965, my brother got a part-time job shooting off fireworks at the Rose Bowl. He’d come home after work with bags of fireworks. Some of them were real heavy duty stuff. He said they told him to take the fireworks home to test for them. We never got around to wondering why they entrusted a high school student with the testing, and at home....

Sad news. In their constant struggle to make the world as ugly as their hearts, the IS has destroyed the two thousand year old Lion of Allat at Palmyra.

They may be able to display their self-hatred by breaking up a piece of art, but they will never, can never smother the human art instinct. One piece may be broken, but a thousand more are springing up in its place.

What an awful existence it must be to be to live blind to beauty, creativity, and joy!

The Supreme Court has decided in favor of same sex marriage. No matter where you stand on this issue, you cannot help being bemused by the reaction of presidential candidate Bobby Jindal, who called for dissolving the Supreme Court. If he has so little respect for democracy and the Constitution that he suggests removing one of the three branches of government simply because they make a decision he personally doesn’t like, he has proved that he is unqualified for public office.
Rest assured that Sarah Palin will subject the nation to another bout of her barely comprehensible moralizing. We can also be pretty sure that her daughter, pregnant for the second time, never married, not only is uninterested in homosexuality, but she doesn’t even bother with the institution of marriage. Go at ‘em, Sarah, somebody may be listening, but not I.

Where is His Majesty Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico when we need him? Seems a lot better than most of the candidates floating around nowadays.

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The almost obscene spectacle of Donald T Rump once again announcing his candidacy for President (cheered on by an audience, US$50 the head) contained a very intriguing bit of information. Candidate Rump asked, When has the United States ever beaten Japan at anything. Intriguing. You might expect a candidate for the highest office in the land to know a little bit about American history, and I would like to ask him if he knows what the abbreviation WWII means. 

A great day for Taiwan, almost too good to be true! Mickey D is selling off their burger hells in Taiwan.

To protect the people’s health, the ROC government did not permit foreign junk food to enter, until President Reagan used his executive powers to force them in, along with American cigarettes and liquor. Maybe you can guess who donated to his campaign.

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Rachel Dolezal, head of a local NAACP chapter, has been outed as being white. LINK I have not been following the news closely, but am amused at the new ‘passing.’ Black people used to try to pass as white, and now white people are trying to pass as black. Okee-dokee, the first question is, does the NCAAP require that only African-Americans hold office? If not, then why should we be concerned? Second, in the short interview I saw, I felt her parents came across as very reasonable and fair (I know you have been losing sleep wondering what I thought about that vital issue.) Third, in this day and age when people may attempt to choose whether they are male, female, none of the above, or all of the above, maybe it’s no big deal if somebody tries to choose their race. Or species, why not? Heck, me, I’ve been identifying as a gorilla for decades, I mean, that’s the true, essential me.

明‧笑林

一武官出征，將敗，忽有神兵助陣，反大勝。官叩頭請神姓名，神曰，「我是堵子神」(案：堵子，靶也；堵子神就是靶神)。官曰，「小將何德，敢勞堵子尊神見救？」答曰，「感汝平昔在教場，從不曾一箭傷我。」

A story from the Ming dynasty, about 15^th century.

A general led his troops to battle, and was facing defeat, when suddenly a god appeared and brought his troops into battle and won a great victory. The general kowtowed and asked the god’s name. The god said, “I am the God of the Target.” The general asked, “What virtue have I that I dare bother the venerated God of the Target for help?” The god answered, “I am grateful to you, because in all your time on the archery range, you have never hurt me with a single arrow.”

Spanish horsemen love their horses so much that they even carry riding equipment with them in modern conveyances. Airlines have had a problem with this, so the flight crew may insist that the Spaniard release his gear. This is the origin of the noted statement that the rein in Spain falls mainly on the plane.

Spanish horsemen hold on to their horses very tightly in the mountains, and then loosen their grip when they reach flat land. This is the origin of the noted statement that the rein in Spain falls mainly on the plain.

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A: Yesterday when I walked by Madame Olga’s Psychic Tearoom, I saw her sitting there smiling, so I went in and punched her.

B: Why did you do that?

A: My teacher told me you should always try to strike a happy medium. 

Q: What did the captive say when the Aztec priest came with an obsidian knife?

A: “He’s a man after my own heart.”