Wednesday, March 30, 2011

A singularly unfortunate email title from an ecology organization:

Could Gorillas Go Extinct? | Exclusive $5-Off Coupon!

What, I get five bucks off if gorillas were to go extinct? No thank you, not for all the tea in China, not for all the money in the world!

Monday, March 28, 2011

Here's an interesting idea: since anything is possible in a dream, every element of a dream is significant.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

同事說他的衣服是臺灣名牌:YESMEIDEO

了?

若不了,解譯扗本blog元月十一日:或按here:::::

Saturday, March 26, 2011

烏來本來就是雨林;我說,最近烏來雨水多。也許有人不信,以為我空口說白話。為了證明,請看圖:這塊磚放扗玄關、扗屋簷下,沒淋到雨。

信了吧?

Wulai is rainforest, but recently we have been getting even more rain and less sunshine than usual. Don't believe me? Please look at this photo, of a brick on the porch, under a roof, out of the rain.

Now you believe me?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

櫻花好看嘛,一般看到的太人工,沒有野趣;開花期不長、枯枝期卻很久;況且臺灣的山林為了這些櫻花樹,付出了慘重代價(click here:::)。美國東北楓葉固然好看,卻給人一種「夕陽無限好,只是近黃昏」的感慨。依我看,最美的是臺灣春山,新葉怒放、淡香飄揚,生意昂然。

I'm not a great fan of cherry blossoms, because they are usually carefully planted, tended, and pampered. It’s like they've got a sign on them that says: BEAUTY HERE: so everybody knows they should say, Oh how beautiful. The maples in New England are nice, but they mean winter is coming. For me, I'll take the spring mountains in Taiwan, when the leaves are just bursting out of the trees, and if you pay attention, the air smells green.

Monday, March 21, 2011


老子:天下莫柔弱於水,而攻堅強者莫之能勝。

看海嘯的照片,確實感受到水的威力。但同時也觀察到,海嘯所經之處,往往只有樹才屹立不搖。

The photos of the Japanese tsunami leave no doubt about the power of water. But something that intrigues me is, from the photos it appears that in many places, the only thing left in the wake of the tsunami is trees.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

二次大戰尾端,美軍投核子彈,結果廣島郊區一家醫院的病人、員工,雖受輻射線,但未受影響。經調查,發現院長特愛吃味噌,每餐給全院病人、員工吃,而且吃生的。由此發現,吃生味噌,可以排輻射。

WHO已經宣佈,除了日本核能廠附近已經被撤離區域外,沒有輻射危險。但如果相信危言聳聽的記者,不妨把菜上桌前,給它加生味噌上去。

At the end of World War II, when the US dropped nuclear bombs on Japan, at a small hospital on the outskirts of Hiroshima, although the patients and staff had been exposed to high levels of radiation, nobody suffered. Investigators found that the head of the hospital loved miso so much that he had everybody in the hospital, patients and staff, eating miso every day, and not only that, raw miso. It turns out that raw miso cleanses radiation from your system.

The World Health Organization has already announced that outside the evacuation area, there is no radiation risk. But that doesn't sell newspapers or boost ratings, so if you have been frightened by the fear mongering journalists, put some raw miso on your dishes just before you serve them, and everything will be fine. Plus, it tastes good.

Certainly more palatable than most of the news.

Friday, March 18, 2011

In March, 2003, former First Lady Barbara Bush said, concerning the war in Iraq, "Why should we hear about body bags and death? It's not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on that?”

Well, first of all, her son started the war, so one might consider that, as the mother of the man who is responsible for all those dead bodies, she might consider thinking about it.

Second, is it relevant? I propose what some may consider a somewhat startling idea that death may be relevant to the person inside the body bag, what do you think?

Third, we seem to have different ideas about what is a 'beautiful mind.' I would say a mind is made beautiful by compassion. But that's just my opinion.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Interesting. The internet officially ran out of addresses on February 4 of this year. Click here:::

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

請大家保密,不要讓政府知道,更不要讓商人知道,今天是花朝節,百花的生日!

click here:::

Monday, March 14, 2011

Join the world in celebrating the 330th birthday of my favorite composer, G P Telemann.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

昨天到建國花市,很多人扗那裏牽狗…可是也有人將狗裝入一個像襁褓的包包掛扗胸前。有沒有毛病!?還有人給狗穿衣服。更詭異的是也有人把狗放進一個類似嬰兒車的推車,推來推去。拜託!狗是狗,應該四隻腳扗地上跑才快樂,快樂就搖尾巴…可是有人把狗尾剪掉了,多殘忍!

我看得很難過。狗是狗,怎麼不讓狗當狗呢?

若人想要將狗當小祖宗掛扗胸前、提扗隨身袋裏、推扗車中,應先問:有沒有對父母這麼好?

People are getting weirder and weirder. You see them carrying dogs in specially designed packs strapped to the owner's chest, or pushing the pooch around in a little carriage. I'm not sure which is more inhumane, dressing up a dog in clothing and carrying it around in a pack, or cutting off its tail.

Anybody who treats their dog better than they treat their parents is sick.

A dog is a dog. Let it be a dog, for crying out loud!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

不幸中的大幸是,日本地震三月發生;設想,如果早兩個月,在日本寒冷北部嚴冬時發生,百姓沒電沒房子,怎麼辦?

阿彌陀佛。

Looking at the bright side, we can say that fortunately the earthquake did not strike Japan a couple months earlier. If it had struck during the dead of winter, think of all those poor people without electricity and without houses. At least now the weather is somewhat warmer.

Amitabha.

BTW, in the turmoil following the quake and tsunami, did you hear of any looting in Japan? Of course not. America should hang its head in shame.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Good luck to Japan.

And remember, in an earthquake, hunker down next to something solid, not under it!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

前不久扗少輔院做家族排列,一群學生加輔導員照老師的指示分群:血型A的站一起、AB型的站一起、B型的站一起、O型的站一起;依照生肖分組;依照星座分;依照出生地分;每一個人都有自己的位置。老師說,「依照排行分:老大站這邊、老么站這邊、排行中間的站這邊、獨生子站這邊。」幾個同學指一個學生譏笑說,「私生子!私生子站哪裏?」我馬上把那個學生抓過來,開始喊,「來!私生子扗這裏,我們是私生子!」還抓幾個跟我比較熟的同學過來站一起,我們叫,「私生子站這裏!」大家會心地笑。

我突然生出一種感覺,有的「先進」女性,為了表示自己能幹強悍、不需要男人(或者無法與別人相處),就買不認識的人的精子,人工受孕;嬰胎一形成,就已經沒有父親:這是多麼自私的!替孩子決定:你不需要爸爸;這是多自大、狂妄!哪一個人不需要父母?為了自我,一廂情願為孩子作這麼重大的決定,不給孩子一個爸爸,就不該生。

Not long ago the Reform School held a Family Constellation workshop. We were grouping according to blood type, to horoscope sign, to birth year, to birthplace; each person has his own position. The facilitator said, "Now group according to your position in your family: first kids here, youngest kids here, middle kids here, only kids here." Some of the boys pointed at another one and said derisively, "Illegitimate kid, where do the illegitimate kids go?" I immediately pulled him over and called out, "Here! All illegitimate kids stand here! We are the illegitimate kids here!" I pulled in a few boys I am more familiar with, and we all stood together, shouting, "Illegitimate kids stand here!" Everybody laughed, the tension resolved.

But I was suddenly struck by a thought: some modern women, to prove that they are strong and capable and don't need men (and also maybe to prove that they cannot maintain a relationship with another person) have babies through artificial insemination bought from an unknown sperm donor. As soon as the baby is conceived, it has no father. How selfish is that? It is hubris to decide for your child that, You do not need a father, or, You do not need a mother. Who does not need both a father and a mother? If a woman is so egotistical that she abrogates a child’s right to have a father and a mother and is unwilling to give her child a father, she should not have a child.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

語言好玩。古人說,覆巢之下無完卵;若是現代人,就說,覆巢之下全部完蛋。

post #2000!

will the nonsense ever stop?

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

孟浩然隱居鹿門山,四十歲至長安。新唐書孟浩然傳記,王維宮中待詔,邀浩然入宮論詩。談時,玄宗至,浩然匿牀下,維以實對。帝喜曰,「朕聞其人而未見也,何懼而匿?」詔浩然出。帝問其詩,浩然再拜,自誦所為,至「不才明王棄」之句,帝曰,「卿不求仕,而朕未嘗棄卿,奈何誣我?」因放還。

或以斯責玄宗胸襟不足,卻當責浩然不識場面。為帝誦詩,何必誦斯句?亦有它作,應選佳句以獻。

一則不識場面,一則當宦途首務,莫過于巴節上司。浩然仕途不利,宜爾。

Friday, March 04, 2011

Happy 333rd birthday to one of the finest composers of the ages, the Red Priest, Vivaldi.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

For some reason, a story has popped into mind. I am a bit fuzzy on some of the details, because I haven't even thought about this for decades.

When I was a little boy, we lived in the little town of Ottawa, Illinois. (little: the web informs me that the population had grown to 19,324 by July 2009. If I remember correctly, it was about twelve thousand when we were there.) Down the street from us lived the G family. Mr G was an Old China Hand. He lived in Shanghai before WWII, where he served as financial advisor to Chiang Kai Shek. He and his family spent the war inside a Japanese prison camp. When she was pregnant, Mrs G was fed better than the other prisoners: she got an egg a day. Again, I am fuzzy on the details, but they all practically starved.

After the war and Mao's victory, for some reason the G family landed in the small town of Ottawa, Illinois. Mrs G told of the time at a very formal banquet hosted by Madame Chiang Kai Shek, Soong Meiling, when the nervous serving maid dropped the turkey on the floor before she made it to the table. Without batting an eye, Madame Chiang said, "Never mind, Mary, just bring in the other turkey."

Everybody knew that Mary was just going to wash off the turkey and bring it back in, but they all thought that Madame Chiang showed considerable aplomb and composure in an embarrassing situation.