Friday, August 07, 2015

Contemporary Russian countour flying. In 1971, I was riding north on a winding road through the forests in the hills near Xuân Lộc, South Viet Nam, when suddenly a US Army LOH (pronounced Loach: Light Observation Helicopter) surprised us by appearing close overhead. He had flown up from behind us, about four meters off the road, and we had no idea he was coming. The pilot kept his LOH perfectly above the center of the road, the same height above the road up and down as it went through the hills, with forest hugging either side of the road. We were very impressed. Everybody knew all helicopter pilots were nuts, but that guy was good!!
This is what a LOH looks like.
You could knock one out of the air with a flyswatter.


Wednesday, August 05, 2015

Come unto me, my brethren and sistren, and I shall tell unto you the story of Joseph and the Goat of Many Colors.
In days of yore*, there lived a man named Jacob and he didn’t believe in planned parenthood, so he had boy child after boy child after boy child until finally he got one he liked. He liked this child so much that he named him Joseph, which in the language of the Israelites means Joseph. One day he found a goat with many colors, and as a sign of his special preference, gave said goat unto Joseph, which caused Joseph to put on airs. His brethren, sorely vexed, sold Joseph to a caravan for twenty shekels, killed the goat, cooked it, and told their father that alas, Joseph and the goat were murdered by some crazy Baptists from Westboro for eating figs, that they had buried Joseph and retrieved the remains of the goat. Jacob asked for a second serving.
Time passed. Many years later, Joseph, having been sold into servitude in Egypt, worked his way up to the ladder until he was CEO of Egypt. Whereupon there was a great famine in the land of Israel, whereupon the brothers decided to try their luck begging in Egypt, whereupon they were arrested for loitering and taken before the CEO, whereupon they recognized him not but he recognized them, whereupon he forgave them and fed them and everybody was happy again.
This story teaches us that selling your little brother into servitude is a shrewd investment, because you can not only earn twenty shekels, but many years later, in time of need, he will show his magnanimity by feeding your starving carcass. Smart move, big brothers. 
עֵז פַּסִּים
 * In days of yore mama’s mama’s mama’s to the Nth power mama.


Saturday, August 01, 2015

A very unfortunate juxtaposition on the Google News page:
“Kesha is a singer and songwriter. It's time to end this perverted excuse for entertainment.
Actually, I believe that was not a criticism of Kesha’s musical abilities, but rather a call from Kesha for an end to big game hunting for "sport".

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

讀通鑑,到永嘉三十年(西元四五三年),宋太子劭弒太祖,諸王伐之;蕭斌勸曰:「人情未離,尚可決力一戰」,一股涼風吹過心頭:解嚴以來,臺灣政治人物,盡力分離人情,至今民眾不談建設,只管賣力罵人,不努力解決問題,只努力想惡毒的詞來攻訐異己。

Sunday, July 26, 2015

We should take Donald Trump to one of those beaches where sharks have been appearing and settle once and for all who has the most odious mouth in the Northern Hemisphere.
But no, sharks are an essential part of the ecosystem, and I wouldn’t want to wish Trump on them. 

Friday, July 24, 2015

李登輝在日本說,「臺灣的麻煩都來自中國」,這是一句可以刻石鏤金的銘言,千真萬確。「教改」斷送臺灣下一代的主人翁的前途與競爭力,這分明是中國陰謀。李登輝執政時,臺灣正準備更上一層樓,全世界看準臺灣即將成為二十一世紀全球金融重鎮,甚至很多專家預估臺灣將會超過瑞士;但是因為街頭運動、無止的抗爭,民眾的力量分散了、眼界封鎖了,不再談建樹,只管罵國內的人,于是臺灣美好、富裕的前途成為泡影;這也是中國削弱臺灣的陰謀。
進入二十一世紀,世界各國向前奔跑,陳總統水扁先生的建樹在于分化,這一定是遵從中國的命令,因為如果臺灣團結,比較容易與北京談條件。但事到如今,時移境遷,臺灣越來越弱、中國越來越強,陳總統為中國渡過那段危險期。
不能說陳總統讓臺灣空轉八年,他確實有建樹:當年他計畫禁止布農族在傳統獵場打獵,讓他們當有錢人的嚮導,開放獵場給有錢人玩鎗、打獵;雖然沒有成功,但可見他多麼用心。他還把中正紀念堂的牌樓改寫成「自由廣場」,雖然聽起來有點像跳蚤市場,也是很有作為的一項建樹。而且他還有一個很了不起的貢獻,他為了保留「反核」這個非常重要的爭權資本,所以八年完全沒有處理能源問題,以至于現在另類能源方面,臺灣還跟不上很多非洲落後國家;這一定也是中國的陰謀。還有呢,他開放重機車進口,讓山村的人被吵的生活不安寧,這當然也是中國人搞出來的。比起陳總統的政績,十大建設算甚麼?
馬英九上臺,來勢洶洶,如果讓臺灣站起來,對北京很不利,所以不管他說甚麼、不管他做甚麼,很多民眾不問青紅皂白只管放開喉嚨罵:因為他是馬英九,所以他是錯的。罵馬的風氣又很成功地削弱臺灣,想也知道這也是中國人搞出來的。
所以感謝李登輝的偉大指導,我們了解,一切事情都是別人的錯;只要手伸直直指著別人,大吼大罵,不需要為自己的行為負責,都是別人的錯。這個意義很深,應該頒發諾貝爾和平獎給李登輝;我想,只要有人提名,北京方面一定會全力支持將諾貝爾和平獎給李登輝,因為這種思維對中國大陸太有利。只要臺灣民眾習慣這種思路,大陸收復臺灣,不必費吹灰之力,垂手可得。

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Great moments in English teaching
In SAT vocabulary class, we came across ideology. I explained that ideology means doctrines that form or define a group, and that Lenin used the term to refer to indoctrinating people to put a political plan into effect.
Then I remembered that ideologue came up on a recent SAT, so to prompt the students, I asked, “What do you call someone who is trying hard to push their ideology on you? They’ve got this whole set of ideas, they’re really doctrinaire, you just can’t talk reason with them, and they’re going to force you to accept this ideology whether you want to or not?”
And a boy piped up from the back of the room, “My Dad.”