Thursday, August 28, 2014

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to have this opportunity to announce the invention of the long-awaited
BAMBUBA /竹巴
or, the bamboo tuba/竹製土巴/低音號

My giant bamboo was knocked over in the last typhoon, so I have used this chance to make a Bambuba, complete with bamboo mouthpiece. The bamboo is fresh cut and not entirely dry, so it now weighs about 15kg, so don’t ask me to join your marching band just yet. I am still considering whether or not to carve in tone holes. If I do, obviously the instrument will be tuned to the key of B, for Bambuba.
I am patiently awaiting news from Sweden, from the Nobel Prize Committee, to see if they will award me the Nobel Prize for Music and Magnanimous Contribution to Humanity this year, or if it’s too late this year, then next.
In the meantime, I am busy transcribing the score of Bach’s Unaccompanied Cello for the Unaccompaniable Bambuba. Wait for the world premier!

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Today’s nomination for a Darwin Award goes to ::::::: link
A 9-year-old girl accidentally killed an Arizona shooting instructor as he was showing her how to use an automatic Uzi.
Where do we begin to count the ways that’s wrong? 
All who are surprised that such a thing could happen in Arizona, please bang your head on a wall until you have some more sense. 

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

颱風把巨竹吹倒了,現在將做為弓、鼓、鐘、碗等等材料。起勁的話,也可以幫巨人做一雙竹筷。
罪右邊的那枝長一百九十公分左右。
The last typhoon blew over my giant bamboo (sob sob), so now to make good use of the bamboo, to make bows, bowls, bells, drums, or maybe a pair of really ferocious numchuks.
The shortest one, on the far right, is about six feet long.

Monday, August 25, 2014


今早金、木星聯珠 Jupiter and Venus lined up early this morning. Very early. Having taken some photos, being a sensible person, I went back to bed.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

聽說有木,謂大丁紅,一條如指粗以打人,內傷不治。
上網查,藥材有丁紅草,顧名思義,是草。
或曰土杜仲亦名大丁紅、 本杜仲、 疏花衛矛,但又曰泰雅語為supeasupea當為spia誤,而spia當為梓樹。未聞spia有此威力。
我有一弓,傳統達彥製,為spia木。誠徵有志之士,願為科學冒險,有奉獻精神,供我以spia弓打,以驗其果有威力與否。有意者內洽。

Monday, August 18, 2014

When you least expect it, suddenly, out of nowhere! the missing foot!! ATTACKS!! aaaarrraaAAAAAHHHH!!! BEWARE!!!

Saturday, August 16, 2014

Golly wolly, are we doomed? An asteroid is headed our way, at a speed of nine miles a second. Look at that headline!
HUMAN LIFE COULD BE WIPED OUT BY ASTEROID TRAVELLING AT 9 MILES A SECOND
The report says, “Human life could be wiped out by a huge asteroid that is heading for earth at a speed of 33,800 miles an hour. With the force of around 44,800 megatonnes of TNT, scientists say that there is a good chance it will hit earth on March 16, 2880.
2880? Well, okay, good to know, I’ll be sure to note that on my calendar, but I’m not going to worry about it just yet.