Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I am teaching 霖霖 how to shoot. He is learning quickly. We were winding down, his last batch of arrows. Just before he shot the last arrow, I noticed that his left hand was in the wrong position, but before I could correct him, he let fly. The arrow flew over the target, high over the hedge, and into the ravine. I heard it hit a rock. Not a problem, because these are target points, so they're not very sharp to begin with, and if I hear what the arrow hits, I have a better chance of finding it in the jungle down there.

I searched the ravine, but couldn't find it. Funny, I lined up the trajectory and looked everywhere, but it was just gone. That happens. Reminding myself to get fluorescent shafts next time, I called off the search, because it was about time for our guests to leave.

After I saw them off, I thought I'd give the ravine another quick search, coming from below this time instead of above. Within a few minutes, I found the missing arrow resting beside a rock, under a bush. Not only that, but in the bush next to the rock, I also found two other arrows I had given up for lost weeks ago. What's more, I realized that during my earlier search I had been within arm's reach of all three arrows, but hadn't been able to see them because of the undergrowth.

Sometimes when you have a problem, you just have to approach it from another angle.

Ooooh, that’s deep!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

從前,有一個小男孩,名字叫做誠忠,可是大家叫他阿忠。

有一天呢,阿忠在村外放牛,就在小溪邊,水柳下,看到溪水裏有個亮亮的東西。水不深,他探手下去就撈出一個寶瓶來。

太陽西下,阿忠牽牛回家,可是沒跟家人說他找到了一個寶瓶。他不知道裏頭是啥,可是搖一搖,裏頭好像一粒一粒的。

那晚月圓,阿忠睡不著,因為他一直想,寶瓶裏到底是啥?終于,他忍不住,爬了起來,往外頭曬穀場坐著,在明亮月光下,小心翼翼地開了寶瓶。果然裏頭是一粒一粒的,好似藥丸的小球,聞起來有藥香味。這藥究竟有甚麼效呢?阿忠想著。也許吃了就長生不老。也許吃了就有他心通、神足通,也未可知。他決定暫且不吃,次日早晨吃,好讓大家看了就知道阿忠變得不同凡響。

一大早,大家吃早餐,阿忠偷偷地將藥丸往嘴裏送。結果,大失所望,因為甚麼都沒有。不知道其他人在想甚麼、不曉得明日將發生何事、沒有千里眼、沒有順風耳、沒長翅膀,甚麼也沒有。阿忠很失望,他就把頭搖一搖,沒想到,奇怪的事情發生了!從空中,他母親身旁就迸出了一個男的,一看到阿忠的母親,就叫一聲:姊!奇怪!阿忠十分訝異,把頭摸一摸,他母親身旁又迸出了一個男的,一看到阿忠的母親,就叫一聲:姊!

長話短說,每次阿忠稍微動一下,他母親身旁就迸出一個男的,一看到阿忠的母親,就叫一聲:姊!滿屋子都是,還溢出到街上,大家都來看,怎麼有這麼奇怪的事?

想了好久,阿忠終于想通了:吃了寶瓶的藥丸子,…動輒得舅。

Friday, December 25, 2009

泰雅傳統不冶金不作銅鐵,要從外地漢人換來,得之不易,所以聘禮非常重視limuq,銅鍋。泰雅的lmuhu詩歌,limuq代表yanay夫之兄弟或妻之兄弟。

曏昔limuq為傳家寶,後來金屬器皿普遍使用,銅鍋不再被珍惜,若尚有者,往往以餵雞餵狗
想當年,斯器新且亮,伴喜事,多少歡樂;或者夫婦到老,見物思情。歲月荏苒,新人漸漸老邁亡故,後人見器無聯想,只見老舊不亮,便以餵畜。于心實有所不忍。
鄭光博收藏

The Tayal had no metallurgy. Any metals were traded from the Chinese. A highly treasured bride-price gift was the limuq, or copper wok. In the highly symbolic imagery of Tayal lmuhu poetry, the limuq stood for a brother-in-law, probably because of its role in marriage negotiations.

Now that metal is easily obtained, old limuq are no longer treasured or even kept. Those who still have them often use them to feed chickens or dogs.

But once upon a time, a now misshapen limuq was bright and shiny, the centerpiece of wedding festivities. Maybe for years afterwards it reminded the aging couple of the happy event. Years pass, people die, and a new generation sees nothing more than a tatty, stained old wok, useful for nothing more than feeding animals. But in its day, it was glorious.

limuq collected by Watan Kahat
This one was cast brass; here he points out a thick part which 吳宗霖Gong-maker Wu patched for him.


Thursday, December 24, 2009

How the past comes back to haunt us!

When I taught at the Language Center/語言測驗訓練中心 in the late 1970s, we had a teacher named Dennis, Irish from South Boston. Dennis had trained for the priesthood, but evidently did not have the vocation, because he ended up teaching English in Taipei, and was visible from miles away. The reason was that tailors were cheap in those days, so Dennis would find the most outrageous, outlandishly loud cloth for his clothes. We always used to joke that his tailor had to wear welding goggles when he was making Dennis's clothes.

One day an advertising agency asked the Language Center for help in enlisting some "native foreigners," as we were called, for a photo shoot. We were supposed to pose as a wild rock 'n roll band playing, wearing appropriately wild clothing. I enlisted Bill, Michael, and George, but ever since I read 墨子, my taste in clothing has always been more subdued than wild: colors at least. I asked Dennis for help, and he very kindly lent me a shirt, one he wore for funerals, court engagements, and other such quiet, formal occasions.

We gathered for the photo shoot. The advertising agency especially imported a photographer from Japan. We took up our instruments: Michael on the saxophone, Bill on the drums, George and I on the guitar. Bill was the only one of us who could actually play the instrument in our hands, but it was a still shot, not a sound clip. We lined up, lights, action.. fizzle. The photographer looked perplexed. Lights, actions… fizzle… the photographer came over and held a light meter up to Dennis’s shirt, shaking his head as he watched the needle go crazy. He sighed heavily, rolled his eyes towards heaven, fiddled with the lights and his filters, and finally completed the shot.

The poster gained us a certain notoriety in Taipei in those days, and I had to explain many, many times that that was NOT MY SHIRT!
I thought the past was gone and buried, until recently I got in touch with Bill again after many decades, and found that he still had a copy of the infamous poster. I reproduce it here in sign of my sincerity to be honest about my past.

And don't forget, that was NOT MY SHIRT!!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

喜歡打破沙鍋璺到底。常想,鄧小平身經百戰,照理說是個冷靜、看得遠的人,為甚麼天安門處理的像暴君模式一樣?

早二十年,文化大革命初期,紅衛兵起亂,劉少奇與鄧小平看大勢失控,請毛澤東處理,毛叫他們到北京坐鎮。到了北京,蒯大富司令的紅衛兵「造反有理」,鄧劉才恍然大悟,文化大革命不是為了共產主義,不是為了社會主義,而是為了鞏固獨裁的絕對權威除掉鄧與林。鄧被整,而身為國家元首的劉少奇竟被學生折磨至死。十年浩劫,死者不計其數,中國的進步倒退了二十年。

天安門學運,也許讓鄧怕了。也許他這樣想:當年,學生可以將國家元首折磨死、害死無數百姓,焉知當前學運不會一樣?怕了、慌了,坦克車派進天安門。

我不是為鄧小平辯解,我只想了解,到底是怎麼一會事?

I am not a horseman in the Light Brigade: mine is not to do or die, mine is but to wonder why.

Deng Xiaoping was nobody's fool. He was a master at enduring setbacks and delaying gratification, he was capable of taking a long view on events, he led China towards a freer society. Why, then, did he call in the tanks at Tienanmen?

Perhaps it was a panic reaction. When the Cultural Revolution was getting out of hand, and the Red Guards were starting to rampage, Chairman Mao sent Deng and Liu Shaoqi to Beijing settle things down. It soon became apparent that the Red Guards (almost entirely students, high school students at first) were set up by Mao to bring down Deng and Liu, who were both tortured. Liu was then the leader of government, but the Red Guards tortured him to death. Nobody knows how many died during the Cultural Revolution, but certainly tens of millions at least, and China was set back a generation.

Twenty some years down the road, when Deng was the leader of the government, the students took to the streets. Maybe Deng panicked and thought that ensuing havoc would kill millions more and set back all the progress he had so painfully made.

I am not excusing Deng and I am not excoriating him. I simply wonder why.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

有些事,必須看背後推動的人的動機。最近有報導,抽煙可以防止老人癡呆;時常也有研究發現,抽煙對人體的千萬個好處。問題是,背後贊助研究的人,是煙商。同理,有各種研究發現牛奶、雞蛋對人體的好處;問題是,背後贊助研究的人是誰?猜得出來吧,是賣牛奶、賣雞蛋的商人。若是中立、客觀研究,牛奶、雞蛋、香煙,沒有一樣對人體不是有害無益。甚至,香煙未必是最糟的。

最近商人大力推銷「藝術家」蔡國強。藝術被商人大力推銷,本來就有問題。看看蔡先生的作品,平平,沒甚麼特別的美感、洞察、創意;恕我直言,在臺灣可以遠遠超越蔡先生的作品水準,大有人在。可能我心機多,可是看了作品,我不得不想,是不是有人炒作?

說實話,要看作品、要看創意、要看美,看蔡先生的作品,大不如看牛舍
這裡
這裡
尤其這筆


當然,不可否認,抽煙的確防止老人癡呆,因為來不及老、來不及癡呆,已經心臟衰竭死亡,要不然癌症死亡。所以,不可否認,抽煙防止老人癡呆,確實有這個作用在。同理,跳樓可以防止禿頭,只要趁年輕頭髮多時跳。還是不要跳好。煙、蛋、牛奶少碰為妙。蔡先生的作品與牛舍,我愛牛舍。

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The blogosphere has been just that little bit less contaminated lately, as I have been busy preparing teaching material for my new course which I am starting in January (聽說如意) and haven't had time to write.

But I have been alert. I recently collected this great quote:

「一個人身高一百五十公分的話,兩個人就三百公尺。」

"If one person is about 1.5 meters tall, two people would be three hundred meters."


Stay tuned!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

You just gotta love bureaucrats. Obama promised government transparency and openness, right? So they are having a workshop on openness. Only catch is, it's closed to the public.

Read all about it::here:::

Sunday, December 06, 2009

希望是真的

本局新聞稿 (98年12月新聞稿)
98/12/02
澄清媒體不實報導「國有財產局租售七星潭開發案國有土地,圖利財團」

財政部國有財產局(以下簡稱國產局)澄清,媒體報導花蓮縣政府核准七星潭風景區內國有土地開發、用地變更案,業者已取得部分土地興建渡假村,及國產局將配合租售給財團等新聞,並非事實。另業者擬規劃開發之國有土地業經花蓮縣政府於民國87年間依土地法第14條規定公告劃設為「海岸及水道一定限度內不得為私有」之土地,依法既不得私有,故國產局不會辦理出售。

Thursday, December 03, 2009

請花一點時間,連署拯救花蓮七星潭自然景觀的活動!
秀麗山水是我們最寶貴的資源,幾乎是我們唯一可以留給自己和子孫、還給大自然最無價的寶藏!不要滿足不肖商人為權為利的貪婪,不要放縱某些官方體制的無明。捍衛家園是身為臺灣子民、地球子民,每一個人的義務。
進入下方連結:

http://campaign.tw-npo.org/campaign/sign.php?id=2009111918201900
頁面的最下方可選擇加入個人連署或團體連署,
日行一善,不難。

希望集結眾人的力量與能量,讓我們的自然美景可以長久一點~

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

1PM ...Well, I Don't Mean It in a Sexually Harassing Way, Sir...
Trainee: This customer is mad because we won't cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won't stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He's gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won't cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This... uh... Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I'm sorry.

Riverview Parkway, San Diego
via Overheard in the Office, Nov 30, 2009

Tuesday, December 01, 2009


A violent killer sentenced to 95 years in prison in Arkansas has allegedly killed four Seattle policeman. What, you ask, why wasn't he in prison in Arkansas? We need the Republicans to stop all these left-wing shenanigans, these bleeding-heart liberals who aren't tough enough to take pride in law and order!

Softly, softly. The convict was pardoned by the governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee, once Republican contender for the presidential nomination.

But all is well: On Sunday, Huckabee issued this statement on his Web site: "Should he be found to be responsible for this horrible tragedy, it will be the result of a series of failures in the criminal justice system in both Arkansas and Washington state."

Isn't that beautiful? As we say in Chinese, 推得很乾淨, he pushed that one away from himself very cleanly. It’s not Huckabee's fault he pardoned a deranged violent criminal, it's the fault of the criminal justice system, and not just in Arkansas, but in Washington state too!

Pardon me while I vomit.