Monday, June 25, 2012

朝發軔于烏來兮
夕余至乎北京
鳳皇翼其承旂兮
高翱翔之翼翼
我們到北京。有人請阿超開四天的工作坊,我抬行李。北京美金,美金北京,北京是美金最多的地方。說不定我去哭他們的中央銀行,看會不會可憐可憐,分我一下。隨意~~~隨億。
We are headed for Beijing, where Chao is holding a four day Dance Therapy workshop. I'm tagging along to tote luggage. Thanks to Presidents Reagan, Bush, and Bush, Beijing has the world's largest collection of US Dollars. Maybe if I hang around their treasury looking pitiful, they'll give me some.
And remember, the jing in Beijing is pronounced like the jing in jingle.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

at this very moment, millions of people are trying to stand an egg on end.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Taiwan was really lucky this time. We get lots of typhoons every summer, that's part of the charm of living in Taiwan: watching rain sweep horizontally like it's getting shot out of a fire hose. Typhoons come as early as about May and as late as about December, but mostly in August and September. No matter what, the very worst time to have a typhoon is at the new moon or full moon, because the springtides often cause tidal surges.

But typhoons come off the Pacific, from the East, and usually break on the high mountains (high: Botonguanu is 3952m) that run down the center of this island.

Rarely, one comes up the Taiwan Strait, from the west, and strikes the heavily populated western plains. This happens about once a decade, I'd guess, but these typhoons are rightly feared, because they usually wreak enormous damage.

The other day a typhoon formed off Hainan Island, of all places, and came up the Taiwan Strait. What's worse, it came on the new moon and the day after, when springtides occur, and cause the danger of tidal surges. Fortunately, it brought some rain, but not much, and very little wind. There was damage, of course, but nothing compared to what could have happened. We got off lightly. Amitabha.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

理論上,大家都知道忠言逆耳。那麼,為甚麼消費者被廣告捧上天還相信呢?

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Who said bass fishermen have more brains than the fish they catch?


Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Tayal have a tradition of facial tattoos, which were an honored mark of valor and skill. This is the English version: NOT the way to do it!!

Favorite comment: He looks like he dipped his nose in a pot of paint.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

the bitter truth, seen on a T shirt:

your parents lied to you
you aren't special
you're just stupid


 good speech, lousy delivery




Monday, June 11, 2012

Okay, so we didn't get a real good view of the Venus Transit: click::

But this will more than make up for it: click
or
click

Sunday, June 10, 2012

昨天到中正堂國家戲劇院實驗劇場看「組合語言舞團」本年度公演,「首映會2.0」,編舞概念新鮮、舞者非常認真,表演很成功。若有機會,該看!
但今天的重點不扗此。表演前,我們覓食,但愛國東路靠中正堂,就是一排婚紗照相館沒得吃
誰說不景氣?婚紗開了那麼多家~~可是我想,花了大筆大筆錢拍婚紗,重點似乎扗于滿足一種虛榮心:幻想自己是大明星、攝影師拿很專業的相機拍照…但婚後,幾人看婚紗照?
我只聽過一個人事後說婚紗照好:友人說,她與先生鬧離婚的時候,全家裏最重的一本就是婚紗照的那一本,她說用那本K她老公,威力十足。
是啊。離婚率那麼高,為甚麼只有婚紗照?我想一想,要離婚的夫妻,應該拍混殺照。
混殺照,可以拍各種廝殺、互毆的相;臉面猙獰、眼露凶光、手上可以拿剪刀、石頭、磚塊、短刀長劍、矛戈枴戟、齊眉棍、紅纓槍、偃月刀、七節鞭、雙節棍、電擊棒、衝鋒鎗~當然都是道具、假的,目的是拍照,不是出人命。
這系列拍完,就換道具:第一是白布條,上面寫
財產
兩大字,各抓一端,拼命爭(攝影師拼命拍)。若能把布撕破,拿大塊的贏了,整個布條歸為所有。如果有孩子的話,就換一個娃娃(數量依實際生育情況而定),夫拉娃娃左手左腳,妻扯娃娃右手右腳,拼命拉(攝影師拼命拍)。若能把娃娃撕裂,拿大塊的贏得了監護權。假如有其它爭端,以相同方法處理。
其實,拍到這裏,很可能夫妻已經發洩好了、磨出一些共識來了,不必離婚;但是,混殺攝影師的帳要全額付清。
如果決定還是要離婚,最後、最受歡迎的鏡頭來了!把先前拍的婚紗照拿出來,一張一張撕碎!也可以咬、擰、踩、甩、踏、摜看有甚麼創意的點子,請盡情發揮!混殺攝影師會把這難忘的一刻做最真實的紀錄,讓您日後保存著許多美好的回憶。
然後,要記得,混殺攝影師的帳要全額付清。

Thursday, June 07, 2012

西元四百年左右,南燕主慕容超有心腹名為
公孫五樓


我就很好奇:假如公孫五樓先生有後嗣于今代,會不會取名
公孫電梯大廈

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

An extraordinary event this morning! Not the transit of Venus itself, that happens regularly (every 8 years → 105.5 years → 8 years → 121.5 years, ho hum). What was astonishing was that we had clear skies! For over an hour! and during this壬辰水龍年year of the water dragon, AKA the Year the Mold. I mean, come on, the glass in the windows is getting moldy!
The hard and fast rule is that any time there is an astronomical event worth watching, if it doesn’t rain in Wulai, there's thick cloud cover. But today was different. The transit started around 6AM and continued to noon. Around 10, the sky cleared enough for the sun to shine. I rushed out with my paper drilled with holes to observe the light cast onto a dark background, and sure enough! you could very clearly see the light cast through holes drilled in paper onto a dark background! But the thing is, I knew that it was happening, and we actually had clear skies. Until eleven.


Eventually I found a way to observe the event very clearly.
With best wishes to Captain Cook.

Monday, June 04, 2012

前幾天早上,剛好看外面,兩隻樹鵲追逐一隻隼。離家很近,才扗屋簷外一丈。隼飛的不快,正好讓樹鵲追不上:好了,好了,知道冒犯了,我走了。
A surprising scene the other morning. I happened to look out the window, and just outside our awnings, two tkrat (Himalayan tree pies, Dendrocitta formosae) were chasing a hawk. The hawk was flying fast enough to stay out of reach, slow enough to maintain dignity: okay, all right, I'm leaving.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

一個問題我想了很久:我扗山上遇到煙槍,還沒見到人,先聞到體臭:扗山上,煙槍身上的臭味,五、六十公尺外都聞得到。百年前的達彥部落,人手一煙斗。或許有驅蚊效果,所以老少男女皆有。我很困惑,以前的人到底怎麼狩獵?還沒靠近獵物,臭味早已把牠嚇跑了。尤其,百年前的達彥很多還用弓箭,未必有鎗,而鎗的威力也不大,射不遠。
後來,我想到另一層關係:如鄒族lema'cohio Apu'u Peongsi所說,「'E cou ne o'amocu moso la yaa tamaku 'o momhino ta fuengu, moso la na'no sino iachi emʉm'ʉ to tamaku 'ola mici etamaku, a'vinano emʉ'a to aukukuyungu to emoo. Ho lac'u mameoi 'ola emu'a ci tamaku, tanac'u teoca ho taskufneni to pupuzu ho aopopoha'va taemi'ma hoci o'te poezi, ho poa oemi'mia, tenac'u peela etamakua: 鄒族人過去山裏的店裏沒有買賣菸時,想抽菸的人都會自己種植菸草,並種植扗家周圍。種的菸草長熟了,就會被砍了然後扗火上慢慢烤乾,或者扗太陽下曬乾,才能用來抽菸。」
從前,菸酒公賣局也是用古老、傳統、不合經濟效益的方法把菸草烤乾。因此,六十年代、七十年代,臺灣抽菸的人得癌率是世界最低的;而且,走扗路上,幾十步外有人抽洋菸就聞得出來,因為味道與臺灣菸截然不同。
到了七十年代,這個情況改了,主要有兩個原因。一則敝國雷根總統強迫臺灣進口美國的菸酒,否則把臺灣經濟毀了,所以公賣局的市場被入侵了。一則無黨籍(現在的綠營)猛抨擊公賣局的做法太傳統、太不合經濟效益。雙管齊下,公賣局只好用現代化的方式製菸,所以現扗臺灣抽菸的人死于癌症、死于心臟病的機率已與世界接軌了。這是雷根與綠營重大的政績。
總而言之,我想或許因為以前原住民的菸非自製則買公賣局不合經濟效益的菸草~~記得芙蓉牌菸草嗎?~~所以體味不嚇獵物;如今,社會進步帶來了經濟效率高、死亡率高的菸草,所以煙槍的體味那麼重。
今天是六三禁煙節。願:天下所有抽菸的人拿出勇氣、拿出魄力,改掉這個噁心、摧殘自己身體的習慣,爭取自由。加油!
Something that has often puzzled me. In the mountains, you can smell a smoker long before you see him; the stench of a smoker's body can be smelled from well over fifty meters away. A hundred years ago, every Dayan (Tayal) smoked a pipe, all the time, young and old, male and female (perhaps to help keep mosquitoes away). How on earth could they hunt? Many Dayan still hunted with bow and arrow, and firearms had limited range. Prey would smell them from a good distance, so how could the hunter get close?
Recently, I thought of another aspect. In the words of lema'cohio Apu'u Peongsi of the Tsou (Cou) tribe, "The Tsou in the days before stores sold tobacco in the mountains, those who wanted to smoke would grow their own tobacco, often right near their houses. When the tobacco was ripe, it would be chopped down and slowly roasted over a fire, or dried in the sunlight, and then be used for smoking."
The Taiwan Tobacco and Wine Monopoly Bureau used to produce cigarettes by outdated, traditional, economically inefficient methods. Therefore, in the 1970s and 1980s, smokers in Taiwan had the world's lowest incidence of cancer (among smokers). When you walked down the street in those days, if someone halfway down the block was smoking an imported cigarette, you could tell, because they smelled a lot different from locally produced cigarettes.
In the 1980s, this situation changed for two main reasons. First, President Reagan forced the government here to import American liquor and tobacco, under threat of destroying the economy otherwise. The Monopoly Bureau's monopoly was broken. Second, the fledgling opposition (forerunners of today's DPP), in their quest to oppose everything the government did, jumped on the economically inefficient methods used by the Bureau to process tobacco. Faced with these pressures, the Bureau had no choice but to update their methods, processing tobacco chemically, so now smokers in Taiwan enjoy death from cancer and heart disease as high as global standards. These are important contributions by Reagan and the opposition.
So what I think is, a hundred years ago, the tobacco aborigines smoked or bought was not chemically produced, so it did not produce such a stench in the pores of the smokers, but now, social progress makes all smokers reek.
Today is Non-Smoking Day, in commemoration of Lin Tzehsu's heroic efforts to combat the most vicious drug cartel in history, the British government (click). My wish is that all smokers everywhere may pull up their courage and determination and free themselves from this disgusting, debilitating habit. Good luck.

Friday, June 01, 2012

臺灣很多彌足珍貴的傳統面臨絕跡;所幸,幾年來,政府重視此問題,也設法延續臺灣特有的技藝。
這兩天,行政院文建會贊助製造口簧琴的工作坊。口簧琴,達彥(泰雅)謂虜布,是很多原住民共有的樂器,但是達彥彈的最好聽;在達彥的傳統,佔重要地位,但現代人多不會彈,更不用說製造。因此,延請民族學專家鄭光博協助將這項技藝傳回部落去
Taiwan is home to ancient traditions that are in danger of disappearing. Fortunately, in the last several years, the government has been taking a hand in helping preserve ancient arts and crafts.
Friday and Saturday, the governmental Council for Cultural Affairs hosted a workshop to teach how to make the lubu, the Dayan (Tayal) jaw harp. Although this plays an important part in Dayan life and traditions, most Dayan today do not know how to play one, much less make one. The Council invited the noted ethnologist, lewin Watan Kahat, to help spread this tradition back to the tribal villages.

我沒參加,但光博送我兩隻虜布:一個是最古老的款式,用一片竹製成;另一隻為改良品,用銅簧。
I was unable to take part in the workshop, but lewin Watan gave me two lubu, one of the old style, made from one piece of bamboo, and the other with a bronze reed. Twang twang twang.