In our enlightened age, toilets are separated by sex. We have come a long way from the Glory of Rome, when everybody squatted together and passed around the sponge.

I assume toilets are separated by sex for – let us not utter that scorned, forbidden word morality – but for the comfort of those involved, so bodily functions are not exposed to the scrutiny of those with different body parts, and to reduce sexual harassment.

All very well and good, but I do not like being ogled by homosexuals when I encounter them in public toilets. Distinctly uncomfortable to try to empty your bladder when the guy at the next urinal keeps leaning over trying to peek and make conversation.

If homosexuals have rights, don’t we? Oh great, I can see where this is going: all public buildings will be equipped with separate toilets for straight males, straight females, homosexual males, homosexual females, bisexuals (can they all go together?), transvestites, and the transgendered. Just as well the Imperial Eunuchs are all dead, or else we’d have to put in toilets for them too.

全世界，除了中國人，沒有人認為西藏屬于中國。全世界，大家仰慕達賴喇嘛。可是如果藏人在拉薩要求西藏獨立，中共鎮壓，全世界沒人敢吭聲。頂多瑞典求北京讓他們到勞改營看被關的人。

全世界，除了部份極右派本省人，沒有人認為臺灣不屬于中國。全臺灣執政黨，沒有一個在國際上有聲望，大家只求陳呂李不要再鬧。其它，不夠看；只能演給本地人看，不能帶出去讓別人笑話。

前不久又有人跟我說，臺灣出事的話美軍馬上來救。這夢何時醒？

一九七九年，韓國總朴正熙被自己的保鑣開四鎗殺死，一時大新聞。

曾聽過一位算命先生討論此事，說，「測字便知朴總統見害于自己保鑣；何以知之乎？朴正熙，你看那『熙』字呀，不是剛好暗示這個遭遇嗎？熙者，臣己也，自己臣子謀害囉！」

聽者問，「那麼那熙字下的四點呢？」

算命先生悠然伸出右手，作手槍狀，說，「砰！砰！砰！砰！四槍。」

We have been playing merry games.

As I reported on March 7, the sibekay (臺灣藍鵲, or Taiwan Blue Magpie, Urocissa caerulea)is a very shy, very sensitive bird; so much as look at them and flit, they’re off. I once met some birdwatchers who had been coming to Wulai for ten years and had never seen the sibekay (although I should note that they are more plentiful than before. The sibekay, I mean, although there may be more birders. That I do not know.)

My dogs are sloppy eaters (甚麼樣的人養甚麼樣的狗) so there is frequently a scattering of kibbles out by the back door when they have finished eating. The sibekay have discovered this, so they sneak down to eat the kibbles after the dogs eat. Thus the game. The sibekay try to eat the dogfood without being detected, I try to take photos of the sibekay without being detected, and the dogs try to chase away the birds before I can take photos. I can hardly shout at the dogs, because that would scare the birds away immediately. 繼續努力吧!

Here you see Yumin glaring at the sibekay in the tree, which is coyly looking the other way.

In From Dawn to Decadence, Jacques Barzun writes, “A well-known figure, Joseph Caillaux, had been the one statesman in France working for a good understanding with Germany; he had defused a grave crisis by yielding unimportant holdings in Africa. A newspaper violently opposed to his policy began to cast discredit on him as a man by publishing (stolen) love letters of his to his wife…. Without his knowledge, Mme Caillaux went to the newspaper office, spoke with the editor-in-chief demanding that the publication stop, and when he refused drew from her handbag a revolver and shot him dead. Incidentally, the editor she killed, Gaston Clamette, had been helping Proust to get his novel published.

“Mme Caillaux was acquitted, but the jury had a hard time.” If I had been on the jury, I would not have had a hard time at all: Clamette had been helping Proust get his novel published? Justifiable homicide, acquitted, next case please.

In the city to teach the other day, I saw a procession of Aborigines making their way along Park Street. Mostly young, mostly male, most of them were dressed in tribal outfits, and carried long knives, spears, bamboo pikes, and shields. I was glad to see that many were barefoot; Nike just doesn’t look right with tribal clothing. I saw Amis, Lukai, and Paiwan, maybe two hundred all told.

I fell in step with some young Lukai and asked where they were going. They told me they had marched all the way from their mountains in southern Taiwan, several hundred kilometers, and that they were marching for their dignity.

I said that’s pretty abstract, and asked if they could tell me anything more concrete. They gave me a long list of grievances, complaints about bad treatment at the hands of President Chen’s DPP regime. It’s no secret that the DPP manipulates the Aborigines with thinly veiled contempt, using them to ‘prove’ that Taiwan is not part of China. Aborigines all over Taiwan feel poorly used by the DPP, so I was not too surprised to hear what the Lukai were telling me.

But I told them, “You should march for something more concrete. Set goals, make demands.” I can just imagine some spokesman for the Chen regime telling them, Ok, you’ve got dignity, now go home. There weren’t even any policemen out to direct traffic for them, so part of our conversation took place on a street corner as we waited for the light to change. I was thinking, ‘We’ve got a couple dozen guys here with spears, why do we need to wait for a traffic light?’ but kept my thoughts to myself, rather than incite anything. Aborigines are patient and law-abiding. Best to keep it that way.

I walked with them as far as the entrance to the underpass to Taipei Main Station; they were holding a concert in the afternoon to air their grievances before going home, probably by train. I wished them well as they got on the escalator, and I headed off to teach.

The rear of the march was brought up by a group of Paiwan with swords, spears, shields, and maybe cowbells, because I could hear them clunking and crashing from a good distance. I called out, “Friends from the Paiwan tribe, do you make such a racket in the mountains?” They laughed and continued clinking and clonking to the escalator.

After my afternoon class, I went to the Train Station to see if the concert was still going on. There were no aborigines. A group of five or six people were carrying banners for the DPP’s doomed presidential candidate, Hsieh, but passersby were studiously ignoring them. I don’t think they carried their banners to the Aborigine concert; that would be like passing out KKK leaflets at an NAACP rally.

Later I asked around. Nobody knew there was a concert, or even a march. A Yamei lady who works in the neighborhood knew they were passing nearby, but was surprised when I told her they had already passed. She wasn’t sure if any people from her tribe were in the march. I asked around Wulai, but our Tayal didn’t know about the march.

I felt kind of sad. Knowing Aborigines, I am sure they enjoyed their march, but they should have achieved more for all that effort.

I also wish I had thought to photograph the Paiwan spearmen riding the escalator down into the station. That's not a sight you see every day.

Once long ago when I was still teaching Conversation, I was telling my students about the Russian Civil War. I told them how the sailors on the battleship Potemkin discovered that their meat was covered with maggots, threw it overboard in outrage, and revolted.

My students, who had been listening carefully, erupted indignantly.

“Maggots?”

“Maggots on the meat?”

“Maggots on the meat and they threw the meat overboard?”

“What a waste!”

“What a waste! Maggots, yum yum, maggots!”

“Didn’t they know that you can cook maggots?”

A long, detailed, and very enthusiastic discussion ensued concerning various recipes for cooking maggots, what kind of dishes you can use maggots in, where to get maggots if you need them and your grocer has none, how to select your maggots, how they taste when properly prepared, and many fond memories of Maggots I Have Eaten.

Tyrants, take note: hire Chinese cooks for your navy and you won’t have any problems with maggoty meat.

佛弟子五戒：殺盜妄淫酒。不偷盜，一則不竊取它人物財，但另一面，臨財毋茍得，亦屬不偷盜戒範圍。在職業上也必須毋茍得；佛子務必盡職。如果我沒有認真教書卻領薪水，這也算是一種偷盜。必須盡自己最大的能力作事，才敢領薪水。

陳總統說他執政八年，對得起良心；當總統領了很高的薪水，每元都是納稅人的血汗錢，請問政績在哪裡？郵局改名、機場改名、中正堂換字、坐飛機到幾個小國家進行無結果無實益的外交，用掉了眾生那麼多資源空轉八年，于我則不敢！

話說回來，他不學佛，當然不能用修行眼光看他。

冬未了，春未興，時雨時晴，忽冷忽熱，真難穿衣服。

暫不談天氣，且問，很難穿衣服，英文怎麼說？

中英語言結構迥異，學習困難。中文句子不一定需要主詞，英文句子主詞不可或缺。類「難穿衣服」，無恰當主詞，勉強用it來充當：it be 形容詞 to 動詞。

穿衣服，怎麼翻？這也是中英文不同之處；英文過程與結果/狀況分得非常清楚。用中文很難解釋。把衣服拿起來穿到身上來，叫作put on；指穿上的動作。Put on之後，衣服在身上，可說wear亦可說 have on。舉例。假設我一個小時前覺得冷，把黑色毛衣從櫃子裡拿出套在身上，說I put on my black sweater an hour ago;此put是過去式，因為毛衣從櫃子加到身上動作業已完畢。這件衣服我還沒脫下的話，有幾種講法：I have on my black sweater; I have my black sweater on; I am wearing my black sweater。都一樣，但要注意的是，現在式；因為衣服現在在我身上。

至于get dressed呢，類似put on，指衣服加在身上的動作，但不及物，將全套衣服穿上身。

答案出來了嗎？很難穿衣服，英文怎麼說？It is hard to get dressed，對嘛！很好，這句文法100%正確，只有一個小問題：It is hard to get dressed在英文是nonsense，完全無法理解。何謂it is hard to get dressed?難道每次想穿衣服就有鱷魚跑出來咬你嗎？若不懂中文，真無法想像it is hard to get dressed是甚麼意思。

要命：中英文表達法迥異。英文如果要說「很難穿衣服」，英文表達與中文不太一樣，說It is hard to decide what to wear。圓滿。

這種問題如何解決？只有一個辦法：經驗。時常注意native speaker的用法、時常鬧笑話，久了就習慣了…久了就習慣每次開口讓人噴飯：臉皮不厚，不能學外語。

又：且記，問「很難穿衣服，英文怎麼說？」千萬千萬不可說”How to say很難穿衣服in English?”這句不通！主詞在哪？這種情形也沒適當主詞，就用you，汎指「人」：”How do you say很難穿衣服in English?”

不過，現在已經知道了，不必再問。

Sipekay is the Tayal for the 臺灣藍鵲, or Taiwan Blue Magpie, Urocissa caerulea, a beautiful bird with a dreadful squawk. With their long tail feathers, they don’t fly very well. They flit from tree to tree, perching in one tree screeching for a while, and then suddenly launching themselves to the next tree. Also, they are extremely sensitive. They can tell if your eyes are on them: they don’t like that, so they hide deeper in the foliage.

I have tried for years to get good photos of the Sipekay, but it is very difficult. This morning I was very lucky to get some satisfactory photos, so I have put a set on flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/talovich/sets/72157604065896125/But I’ll keep working on this!

This (below) is the kind of photo you usually get. Can you see the bird?

I shuffled onto the crowded subway train and found a space to stand. Three well-dressed young ladies were discussing English usage.

A: 有兩個字不能講，講了就很不雅。兩個都是 f開頭的。There are two words you cannot say. If you say them that is inelegant. They both begin with f.

B: 第一個是不是f-u-c-k？Is the first one f-u-c-k?

A: 對，說 fuck 就不好聽。Yes, if you say fuck, it does not sound good. (note: in Taiwan this rhymes with dock rather than duck.)

C: 另外一個是甚麼？What’s the other one?

A: 我記不清楚，好像是 f-a-r-d，可是我不太清楚。I don’t remember clearly. I think it’s f-a-r-d, but I am not too clear on that.

B: 好像是 f-a-r-t。I think it’s f-a-r-t.

C: 對，f-a-r-t好像對，我看過這個字，可是我忘了是甚麼意思。Right, I think f-a-r-t is right, I have seen that word, but I forget what it means.

Just then C turned around and saw me standing in back of them. Her mouth dropped open. I mouthed “放屁” ~~ you can figure out what that means. She turned back to her friends, whispered something to them, and all three of them started laughing hysterically, but silently.

She got off at the next station.

我跟軋輅講，「我要找ㄇ喇互紹也。」

「Mswa, Yugan？」

「我想參加鄉運的射箭比賽。每次都是福山第一名。我大概比不過他們，可是想參加嘛：代表烏來嗶。」

「嗷，Yugan，參加最重要！你想射箭嗶，找我就沒錯！我前年鄉運代表烏來村參加設標槍比賽！」

「Balay balay bi?」

「嗷，紹也找我，我就去參加。每一個人射五個標槍，距離是差不多一個公車車身那麼遠。

「有個電視台記者找人訪問，他看到我準備比賽，他就問我，『你是原住民嗎？』」

「廢話，看一眼就知道。」

「嗷！我回答，『我當然是原住民，我是泰雅族。射標槍是我們原住民天賦異稟，我們不用練習就會了，因為我們的祖先都靠這個生活！』

「結果，輪到我，攝影機過來，我瞄準，射出去，天啊由紺，標槍飛到靶的左邊五六公尺嗶！！我跟攝影師說，『不要用那幕，我再射給你看！』我拿起第二竿─由紺，他們那個標槍怪怪的，拿中間把那個地方前後就怪怪的。攝影機拍呀，我第二槍射出去，這次飛到右邊！」我跟攝影師說，『不要用那幕，我再射給你看！』我拿起第三槍，我看到我老婆在旁邊笑得眼淚都流出來。由紺，很奇怪，第三槍飛上天，下來差點戳到我！我跟攝影師說，『不要用那幕，好不好？』記者問我，『你到底會射不會射？』我跟他說，『問題是，靶定在那裡不動，我們在山上射山豬，山豬一直跑，東跑西跑，不會停在那裡，所以靶不動，我很不習慣！』第四、第五竿，嗨，由紺，根本沒到靶就插在土裡，我覺得很奇怪，怎麼會這樣？我看老人家都射的很準，我五竿都沒射到靶，紹也在旁邊一直搖頭。我老婆都站不挺。」

「嗷，軋輅，我聽你這樣說，我很有信心參加射箭比賽！」

「由紺，鄉運重要的項目，都靠蠻力不靠技巧；摔角，也不是在比技巧，你把對方推倒就贏了。負重啊、拔河啊，都靠力氣。可是最重要的比賽就是nibun gwaw(喝酒)，一定要酒量好！」

「這項競爭最劇烈。」

「非正式比賽，可是每一次，一定是烏來村第一名！」

……

I told Qalux, “I want to talk to mlhuw Shawye.”

“What’s up, Yugan?”

“I’m thinking of playing in the Township Games, in archery. Mangan always takes first place. I probably can’t beat them, but I’d like to shoot in the Games, you know, represent Wulai Village.”

“Aw, Yugan, being there is the main thing! If you want to shoot in the Games, I’m the man for you! The year before last, I represented Wulai Village in the javelin event.”

“Really?”

“Aw, Shawye asked me, so I went. Every person got five javelins. The target was about a bus-length away.

“There was a television reporter looking for someone to interview. He saw me getting ready for my event, so he asked me, ‘Are you an Aborigine?’”

“That’s a stupid question, you can tell at a glance.”

“Aw! I said, ‘Of course I am an Aborigine, I am a member of the Tayal tribe. Tossing javelins comes naturally to us Aborigines. We don’t even have to practice, and we can hurl the javelins, because our ancestors relied on this for their livelihood!’

“When it was my turn, the television camera was on me. I aimed, and hurled my javelin, and it sailed off and landed about five or six meters to the left of the target! I told the photographer, ‘Don’t use that scene, I’ll hurl another one and you’ll see!’ So I took the second javelin. Yugan, those javelins are funny, if you hold them in the center, the ends feel funny. So the camera was shooting me, and I hurled my second javelin, and this one went way off to the right of the target! I told the photographer, ‘Don’t use that scene, I’ll hurl another one and you’ll see!’ I picked up my third javelin, and I saw my wife standing on the sidelines laughing so hard the tears were rolling down her face. Yugan, it was strange, the third javelin went straight up in the air and just missed me when it came down! I told the photographer, ‘Don’t use that scene, ok?’ The reporter asked me, ‘Do you know how to hurl a javelin?’ I said, ‘The problem is, the target just sits there and doesn’t move. When we’re in the mountains hunting wild boar, the boar run back and forth, they don’t just stand there. But this target just sits there, and I’m not used to that!’ The fourth and fifth javelins, hey Yugan, they didn’t even reach the target, they just stuck there in the earth. I thought that was really weird. How could that happen? These old guys were really accurate, but all five of my javelins missed the target. Shawye stood on the sidelines shaking his head. My wife could barely stand up.”

“Aw, Qalux, you’re giving me confidence to shoot in the archery competition!”

“Yugan, in the Township Games, strength is more important than skill. In the wrestling, it doesn’t matter if you have any skill, just put the other guy on the ground and you win. Carrying heavy loads, tug of war, it’s all about strength. But the most important contest is drinking. You’ve got to be able to put away a lot of liquor!”

“The competition is fierce on that one.”

“It’s not a real event, but every time, Wulai village takes first place!”

When they are well led, the people of Taiwan are capable of amazing efforts. When they are well led. Fortunately, we are nearing the end of the Bean Regime. During his eight years in office, President Chen has never worked to build a consensus, and he has done nothing constructive. Rather, he goes out of his way to stir up trouble. IMHO, a leader should smooth over differences and get everybody pulling together; Chen has done his best to exacerbate differences and divide the people. He has succeeded in uniting most of the people on one issue: everybody will be glad to see him gone, and with him his widely detested Minister of Education, Professor Du.

Probably because the move was opposed by a majority of the people, President Chen changed the name of the Republic of China Post Office to the Taiwan Post Office. Now, instead of the Republic of China, stamps say Taiwan. These are probably worth collecting, because they won’t be around long.

This stamp supposedly shows a tkra’, the 樹鵲/ Himalayan Tree Pie, Dendrocitta formosae. Chen and Du probably like them because they are bossy, aggressive, noisy, and very territorial. There are a lot of them around here, so you can compare with this photo of one in a tree out front. If you ask me, they got the colors all wrong.

Aside: tkra’ is the Tayal word for this bird, the subject of the strangest grammar shift I have ever heard of. Subject, object, whatever, they are tkra’, but if you shoot one, the word becomes kra’. This sort of shift does not occur for any other noun that I know of in Tayal, and it only shifts if you shoot one; if you kick it, beat if, or bite it, it is still tkra’, but you are a beast for picking on a poor little bird. As far as I know, the bird does not play any particular role in Tayal mythology or tradition; nobody can explain why there is this strange noun conjugation for the tkra', that’s just the way it is.

韓愈進士策問十三首：問夫子既沒，聖人之道不明，蓋有楊墨者始侵而亂之。

述而：子曰，天生德于予，桓魋其如予何？

天生德于夫子，但夫子不專天德。若不合心，楊墨焉得而起？楊墨既唱，使無應者，其道不傳。遠近通澀，各有可取。

歲寒而後知松柏之後凋、竹有君子之德。但天生百草千木，各得其所，川山林谷迺盛。假如大地罄生松柏竹，無它樹草雜生其間，松柏竹亦不康。

君子比德于玉，而天下之石不盡為玉；若天下石盡為玉，民生苦矣。一種藥不能治百種病。參雖尊，卻不必每帖加；服參，亦輔以它草。天生我材，必有用；百人異質，百官殊職，天下迺安。程式設計，當今屬要職，但假使天下人全專程式設計，誰人種菜？誰人作衣、開車、蓋房子？

若天專生德于夫子，楊墨無從起唱。楊墨之起倘果能亂夫子之道，夫子之道亦可不傳矣。

寫了一堆，坦白說, who cares?

老人家跟我說，「黨員說，只要公投通過用台灣的名義加入聯合國，我們不管到哪一個國家就不需要簽證。」真是豈有此理！

這個入聯公投，目標似乎只是賺選票、分化民眾。真的要入聯嗎？幾年前聯合國一個高層決議，若想要以臺灣名義宣佈獨立，只有操南島語言的原住民才有資格談。

聯合國並不歡迎臺灣加入，可是我們作個假設吧：如果中華民國臺灣加入聯合國的條件是必須在國際監督下成立臺灣原住民自治區，願意嗎？

臺灣原住民自治區，是很多原住民夢寐以求的理想，因為實在不想讓漢人管。攷慮願不願意成立自治區，先想清楚：烏來泰雅域不只供臺北的水，也供電。如果原住民自治區成立，每次漢人讓原住民不滿，水龍頭一關、插頭拔掉，臺北缺水缺電。願意嗎？

Today two botany graduate students from NTU were out by the path looking for a very rare plant, called 赤箭, a kind of gastrodia. Don’t worry, I had never heard of these before today either. In the words of Dr Subhuti Dharmananda* > http://www.itmonline.org/arts/gastrodia2.htm < “Gastrodia (tianma) is a very unusual plant. It contains no chlorophyll and has no green color in it. Lacking chlorophyll, it cannot produce its nutrients from sunlight as do most plants. Moreover, it has no roots; in the ground is a rhizome (tuber) that appears sealed shut from the soil environment.”

~~*須菩提‧達摩阿難達 ~~ 這名字棒極了!!

Apparently, a botanist had discovered this plant nearby some time in the early 1990s, flowering on February 25, but his description of the location was rather vague: “near the path up Silogan in a patch of cinnamon bamboo.” Well, that sounds like this area, so they were out searching for it for the third year in a row, without success. The plant flowers for a few days and disappears until the next year, and the color is not eye-catching, so you have to be pretty lucky to find one, especially since they are so rare.

After a while, they found its close relative, a 冬赤箭. I went out to take a look and some photos. A few days ago I had seen something very similar, but had not paid it too much attention. I could not say if it was the same or not, only similar, and pointed out the general area I saw it.

We admired their find and examined it closely. The botanists cleared some space around it so we could take photos and see it clearly. They told me it was an unusually large specimen. Wonderful! I felt very proud of Wulai. Just then Byajing came barging through and snapped the precious rarity off at the stem. I was horrified! The botanists took what was left of the plant back to their university for further study. “Don’t worry,” they told me, “It will flower again next year.”

So much for our contribution to botany.

If you want something technical on the subject, http://www.press.ntu.edu.tw/ejournal/Files/taiwan/200603/8.pdf

Anyway, Happy leap day.

Headline: Ben & Jerry’s founders back Obama with new ice cream flavor.

BURLINGTON, Vt. - The founders of Ben & Jerry's endorsed Barack Obama on Monday, and lent his Vermont campaign two "ObamaMobiles" that will tour the state and give away scoops of "Cherries for Change" ice cream.

When I first saw the headline, that Ben & Jerry’s had created a new flavor in honor of Obama, I thought, It had better not be a chocolate and vanilla mix!

Fortunately, it’s cherry, which may or may not have anything to do with the DC Tidal Basin cherry blossoms? It’s beyond me.

But think about it. When I was a boy, Obama would not have been allowed to sit next to me on a bus, and now he is running for President. Isn’t that wonderful? I don’t care if you support him or not, simply the fact that an African American has a good shot at the Presidency is something to celebrate.

Look at American Presidents of the last century, from McKinley, Roosevelt, Taft, and Wilson, to Carter, Reagan, Bush, and Clinton: a bunch of white guys, mostly from the British Isles. Not very good for a nation that takes such pride in its diversity. McCain (Scottish name) may be very good, but hey, people, let’s not elect another white guy this time, ok?

Even if you don’t agree with everything he says, you have to admit that electing Obama would be a powerful statement, both to the US and to the world. (of course I say this because he’s a Democrat.)

I never hoped to see this in my lifetime. From the back of the bus to the ballot: now that is progress!

Taiwan now and then

年輕人可能比較不了解臺灣的潛力與實力。臺灣十年來沒有進步，所以一個二十五歲的人很難了解從前的風光。我還記得二三十年前臺灣的朝氣。我來的時候敦化北路都是稻田與數間破敗的農舍，幾年內冒出幾十棟媲美國際的大樓；區區一個臺灣小島成為全世界第十三大經濟；日據時代的文化沙漠突然藝術成就卓越；光復前化外之民，下一代子女在各方面的學術 ─ 理工文醫等 ─讓全世界咋舌；六十年前落後骯髒的臺灣忽然變成國際舞台上的佼佼者。現在的臺灣人民同三十年前的臺灣人民：三十年前的十大建設、臺灣奇蹟，現在那股氣息到哪裡去了？十年來，繳白卷。二十五歲的人，記憶中可能只有爭權、分化、立委打架、大官故獻醜態，不了解臺灣的實力。

前幾天看到一個新聞：

我宣佈承認 科索伏沒理會

拼外交拼到哪裡去了？蔣中正死的時候，美國本來只派部長來參加葬禮，臺灣外交官瞪眼吹鬍子，美國副總統乖乖跑來帶孝鞠躬致敬。現在假設墨西哥派個科長的秘書來，執政者會飛奔相賀、沾沾自喜，以為很有成就。臺灣應該不止如此。

臺灣的實力、朝氣，希望再展現。未來十年，不要再繳白卷。

在古董店看到一幀清朝木匾，沐恩民眾奉送地方官四大字：帥民以正。古代作官的要求如斯，出論語顏淵：季康子問政於孔子，孔子對曰："政者，正也。子帥以正，孰敢不正？”

可是我想，現在大官，哪一個夠格掛上這片木匾？

不行，必須把它現代化。要送木匾給臺灣大官，建議題字為：

帥民以洟

說文解字：洟，鼻液也，从水夷聲。他計切，十五部。

易、萃上六，鄭注：自目曰涕，自鼻曰洟。

執政黨崇洋，他們可能愛的是英文不是中文吧。那麼，哪一句最適合呢？我知道：POWER CORRUPTS.

悲夫。

Musical Chairs

照理說，不管誰當選，五月要換總統，除非陳總統不交接，當終身統治者。看到新聞，國防部長換了人，覺得真是多此一舉。何必來個短期部長？

陳總統任內，部長換來換去，只差還沒有派官田鄉民代表主席當部長而已。部長換來換去，只有一個堅守崗位不換，就是教育杜部長。這是由于他的任重道遠的緣故。一方面，他是陳總統的避雷針；他轉地圖、叫小學生背包往胸前背、打瞌睡挖鼻涕，轉移大家的注意力，罵杜暫不罵陳，功勞真大。另一方面，現代民主建立在人民知識上；如果選民眼睛雪亮，該黨能執政多久？

臺灣小島，只有一個資產在國際上最叫好，就是人才。陳杜的愚民政策，消弭臺灣最重要的法寶。