Saturday, January 30, 2010

忠狗 Tlahuy
Loyal Tlahuy came to Wulai ten years ago today.

Friday, January 29, 2010

Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people."
Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people, and those with no minds at all spend their time on karaoke.

post #1800!

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Tsou tribe of central Taiwan gave up headhunting long before the Tayal, but fond memories linger. When former Vice President Lu was insulting the aborigines because they had the temerity to ask for help when their homes were destroyed in a typhoon (click here), a group of Tsou brought their knives to Taipei and said they wanted to resurrect the real Taiwanese culture.

Recently I have gone several times to 嘉義 the mountains of central Taiwan. A Tsou boy showed me how to stalk someone with a shield and spear (in this case, another little boy hiding in a basket). He was actually quite good.
Their school's activities center is festooned with prize winning artwork by kids from several local elementary schools, depicting Tsou culture. Here is a little girl's picture of successful headhunting. They’ve got a doggie and a kitty and a monkey and oh isn't everybody happy!


Sunday, January 24, 2010

海地大地震,罹難民眾恐高達二十萬人。臺灣救難隊到海地,救出了兩名生還者,可喜可賀,救人一命勝造七層浮圖。

瞄到一個新聞標題:

救難對遠赴海地,台灣今天寫歷史
看的很不是滋味。救難隊的目的難道只是為了面子嗎?我以為重點應是救人要緊,而不是要大家看喔大家看喔我們好厲害!臺灣人才這麼多,救難隊沒有成就才奇怪,何必沾沾自喜如此?

前不久的聽奧,開幕典禮當晚的頭條新聞:
台灣今晚寫歷史!
好可憐,自己渺小到必須這樣誇張才確定自己存在。那天我好奇,找了很多國外網頁、搜尋器,找不到一則新聞提到臺北舉辦聽奧。好個寫歷史!

臺灣已窒滯十餘年。若今以稍有做為,沾沾自喜、躊躇滿志,日後難臻大成就。

臺灣應不止如此。

Saturday, January 23, 2010

What kind of image do we leave for posterity?

For use in my 聽說如意 Speaking and Listening course, I am writing about the Burke and Wills expedition across Australia. If you are not familiar with this story, you should certainly google it up and read about it.

Today, however, I am not concerned with the image of Burke and Wills, but rather, a choice sentence I came across in looking for materials at the Burke and Wills Net
from the Brief History by Dave Phoenix:
Unfortunately, Horrocks did not find any new or exciting land, but in 1846 he did become the only explorer to be shot and killed by his camel.

Which is in itself something of an accomplishment, I suppose.

Friday, January 22, 2010

You Might As Well Face It, You're Addicted to Lumps
Very pregnant woman surrounded by misbehaving children: Pregnancy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more complete when I'm pregnant. Knowing that I'm growing this life...
Young woman behind her in line, interrupting: Madam? You are a walking advertisement for mandatory birth control.

Starbucks
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: The guy applauding her
via Overheard Everywhere, Jan 21, 2010

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Sabiy has been providing dance movement therapy/舞蹈治療 for 鄒族Tsou kids traumatized by the landslides wrought by Typhoon Morakot last August. While she is busy, I go out and wander around. Here are some videos I took this week, from an altitude of about 900m, or 100m practically straight above the school.

This one I took right in front of the school. You can see the school almost slid into the valley.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

overheard in Pnguu
十歲鄒孩:「我跟弟弟爬樹,爬好高,媽媽叫我們下來,我們繼續往上爬。等一下爸爸出來了,手上拿彈弓,說,『你們兩個爬高一點,我當活靶練習!』我們很快就下來了。」

10 year old boy of the Tsou tribe: "My brother and I were climbing a tree. We got up really high. Mom told us to come down, but we kept climbing higher and higher. Pretty soon Dad came out with his slingshot and said, 'Climb higher so I can get some moving target practice!' We came down out of that tree as fast as we could."

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Seeing is not always merely a matter of opening your eyes and looking. You have to know what to see, and what you are seeing.

Once I was out on the porch with guests when a hawk flew by a little below us. I said, "That was fast, wasn't it?" It turned out that I was the only one who even saw the bird, even though it came within three meters of where we stood.

In a post last year, I commented that I had never seen an eagle or hawk swoop. Recently a hawk has been active in our area. Either it has become active recently or my eyes have picked up its paths recently, but I incline towards the explanation that it has become active recently, because apparently most of our hawks are migratory, spending winters with us.

A couple weeks ago Sabiy and I were on the porch when suddenly there was a thrashing in a nearby tree. A hawk had dropped on its prey there, so swiftly and so suddenly that we didn't even see it coming. Today we were out front when suddenly there was a commotion in the tree out front. I saw something tan, about the size of a large chicken, for a moment, and then it continued its descent. The dogs set to barking, and we all rushed out to see what was up. There was a scattering of plumage on the ground. The dogs searched the ravine and found nothing. I suspect what happened was that a hawk snatched a bird off a branch, but it happened so fast that we were aware of nothing more than a smash and a flash of tan.

On the one hand, raptors depend of speed and surprise; on the other hand, this explains why I hadn't seen them swoop.


Friday, January 15, 2010

The best way I've ever seen to protect a car against thieves.

see more There I Fixed It

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

結霜了!


It may not look like much, but for Taiwan, this is a big thing.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Cultural interaction and language learning at work
八八水災毀了許多鄒族的家園。為了讓當地小孩子克服恐懼,阿超到嘉義來吉村作舞蹈治療,重建快樂、無陰影的生活。

我也跟去了。她在小學裏作有意義的事,本牛放出去吃草。到處走走、看看,跟當地人聊聊。我有一種感覺:災難過後,到山上走走的人銳減,讓鄒人產生一種被遺忘的感覺。一方面為了解釋我的存在,一方面為了讓鄒人知道外面很多人很關心他們,所以我都跟他們解釋,我出來閒晃,太太正在學校裏幫小孩子作心理建設。

跟鄒人聊,他們很好奇,「你住烏來,你太太是泰雅嗎?」

「不是,她是平地人。」我問,「鄒語,『平地人』怎麼說?」

一位太太說,「budu。」一個先生接口說,「gwatzi budu」,大家笑,說,「不能這樣講!」他們不解釋意思,只說,「不好,你這樣講,太太會打你。」一個太太說,「可是她是budu,她就聽不懂。」好了,知道了。

下午往另一個方向走,遇到一個人路邊接水管。這是我們烏來很熟悉的工作,因為烏來所謂的「自來水」,是自己找來的水。跟他聊,問前方路線,就出發了。走到山裏,真快樂,可是時間到了,往回走。

又遇到接水管的先生,與一群作工的人在一起休息,直準備下班。他給大家介紹,說,「他跟他太太住烏來,」我就知道下一句他們要問甚麼,直接說,「我太太是budu。」一個先生接口說,「gwatzi budu」,大家笑,我說,「嘿嘿嘿,不能這樣講。」大家笑,問,「你聽懂gwatzi budu嗎?」我說,「聽不懂,可是知道這樣講我會被打!」

The floods and landslides last August devastated Tsou tribal land. Sabiy has recently been going there to provide Dance Movement Therapy for traumatized survivors in the local elementary school. I went along for the ride, and while she was working constructively, I wandered around the mountains.

I ran into groups of Tsou people and stopped to chat. I explained why I was there, that Sabiy was doing her best to help, that their predicament has not been forgotten by the outside world. Village people are friendly and curious, and they always asked where we stayed for the night, where we live: Wulai? That's aborigine land too, so of course they wanted to know if my wife is Tayal. No, I said, she's Han Chinese. I asked one group the word for plainspeople, or Han, in Tsou. "Budu" pronounced sort of like the English word voodoo. When I repeated that, one man immediately said, "Gwatzi budu," and everybody laughed and told him to hold his tongue. They told me not to say that to my wife, or she would beat me, but, as one lady said somewhat wistfully, "If she's budu, she wouldn't understand anyway." As if to say, give it a try.

In the afternoon, I met a man by the road and asked about roads and paths further into the mountains. I had a wonderful walk, and coming back, encountered the same man with a group of people working on the road, finished for the day, preparing to go home. He introduced me to them, and said, "He and his wife live in Wulai." I knew what the next inevitable question was, so first I said, "She's not aborigine, she's budu." One man immediately said, "Gwatzi budu," and everybody laughed. I told him to hold his tongue, which made them laugh even harder. "Do you know what that means?" "No," I said, "But I know it'll get me a beating!"


Saturday, January 09, 2010

昨晚到國父紀念館看Men in Tutus,很驚訝發現天上大字:Taiwan UP;臺灣 you pee??定神再看,原來是101,好像是寫 Taiwan up。為甚麼要這樣寫呢?臺灣不是狗。

一般訓練狗,要牠趴下,說Rover down!,要牠站立,就是Rover up!

我不太了解。是新標語嗎?用拉丁字母,為甚麼不寫英語?在美國,如果政府或公司要推出新標語,一定很慎重其事,開會囉、討論、測試、民調,樣樣行才推出。臺灣的英語標語似乎不是這樣。隨便想一個,只要是拉丁字母就過關,糊里糊塗推出來,不喜歡的人就是不愛臺灣。可是至少也該出個本地人會唸的吧。當今臺灣寶島,沒幾個能將up唸對的。

既然要標語,為甚麼不出個好的?UN for Taiwan啦、Depose啦,都不上軌道。觀光局的touch your heart,最大的好處是不知所云。回想一下,好像上次出了真正好的英文標語,是中華民國推出聯合國時的Keep Free China Free。那時官員英文程度比較好吧。

Taiwan UP真的很像罵人的話…剛好朋友從美國打電話來問候,也順便問臺北近況。我跟他說,101上寫Taiwan up。他想了好一回,問,up what?

Yours?

Friday, January 08, 2010

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

藍鵲與樹鵲確通常是世仇。今天中午聽到藍鵲與樹鵲突然喧嚷,以為是打群架。出去看,發現有隼迫近,兩種鵲聯合起來對抗准。

Usually the Taiwan Blue Magpie (Urocissa caerulea) and the Himalayan Tree Pie (Dendrocitta formosae) bicker and jostle back and forth. At noon today a sudden uproar led me to believe they were fighting. I went to the porch to see but couldn't figure out what was going on. I went down towards where they were and saw a hawk pressing near them. The hawk was perched in a tree, too close for comfort, so the magpies and pies were screeching together to keep it away. I wasn't able to get any good photos of the hawk, but I recorded the ruckus. Finally the hawk gave up and flew away.



For an earlier confrontation between blue magpies and a hawk, please see my blog or go here and view this set.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

觀嵐清心


The mountains’ gift for weary city dwellers.

Friday, January 01, 2010


久久年
遂心如意
知足常樂
During 2010,
May our wishes be granted,
May we enjoy contentment.


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I am teaching 霖霖 how to shoot. He is learning quickly. We were winding down, his last batch of arrows. Just before he shot the last arrow, I noticed that his left hand was in the wrong position, but before I could correct him, he let fly. The arrow flew over the target, high over the hedge, and into the ravine. I heard it hit a rock. Not a problem, because these are target points, so they're not very sharp to begin with, and if I hear what the arrow hits, I have a better chance of finding it in the jungle down there.

I searched the ravine, but couldn't find it. Funny, I lined up the trajectory and looked everywhere, but it was just gone. That happens. Reminding myself to get fluorescent shafts next time, I called off the search, because it was about time for our guests to leave.

After I saw them off, I thought I'd give the ravine another quick search, coming from below this time instead of above. Within a few minutes, I found the missing arrow resting beside a rock, under a bush. Not only that, but in the bush next to the rock, I also found two other arrows I had given up for lost weeks ago. What's more, I realized that during my earlier search I had been within arm's reach of all three arrows, but hadn't been able to see them because of the undergrowth.

Sometimes when you have a problem, you just have to approach it from another angle.

Ooooh, that’s deep!

Sunday, December 27, 2009

從前,有一個小男孩,名字叫做誠忠,可是大家叫他阿忠。

有一天呢,阿忠在村外放牛,就在小溪邊,水柳下,看到溪水裏有個亮亮的東西。水不深,他探手下去就撈出一個寶瓶來。

太陽西下,阿忠牽牛回家,可是沒跟家人說他找到了一個寶瓶。他不知道裏頭是啥,可是搖一搖,裏頭好像一粒一粒的。

那晚月圓,阿忠睡不著,因為他一直想,寶瓶裏到底是啥?終于,他忍不住,爬了起來,往外頭曬穀場坐著,在明亮月光下,小心翼翼地開了寶瓶。果然裏頭是一粒一粒的,好似藥丸的小球,聞起來有藥香味。這藥究竟有甚麼效呢?阿忠想著。也許吃了就長生不老。也許吃了就有他心通、神足通,也未可知。他決定暫且不吃,次日早晨吃,好讓大家看了就知道阿忠變得不同凡響。

一大早,大家吃早餐,阿忠偷偷地將藥丸往嘴裏送。結果,大失所望,因為甚麼都沒有。不知道其他人在想甚麼、不曉得明日將發生何事、沒有千里眼、沒有順風耳、沒長翅膀,甚麼也沒有。阿忠很失望,他就把頭搖一搖,沒想到,奇怪的事情發生了!從空中,他母親身旁就迸出了一個男的,一看到阿忠的母親,就叫一聲:姊!奇怪!阿忠十分訝異,把頭摸一摸,他母親身旁又迸出了一個男的,一看到阿忠的母親,就叫一聲:姊!

長話短說,每次阿忠稍微動一下,他母親身旁就迸出一個男的,一看到阿忠的母親,就叫一聲:姊!滿屋子都是,還溢出到街上,大家都來看,怎麼有這麼奇怪的事?

想了好久,阿忠終于想通了:吃了寶瓶的藥丸子,…動輒得舅。

Friday, December 25, 2009

泰雅傳統不冶金不作銅鐵,要從外地漢人換來,得之不易,所以聘禮非常重視limuq,銅鍋。泰雅的lmuhu詩歌,limuq代表yanay夫之兄弟或妻之兄弟。

曏昔limuq為傳家寶,後來金屬器皿普遍使用,銅鍋不再被珍惜,若尚有者,往往以餵雞餵狗
想當年,斯器新且亮,伴喜事,多少歡樂;或者夫婦到老,見物思情。歲月荏苒,新人漸漸老邁亡故,後人見器無聯想,只見老舊不亮,便以餵畜。于心實有所不忍。
鄭光博收藏

The Tayal had no metallurgy. Any metals were traded from the Chinese. A highly treasured bride-price gift was the limuq, or copper wok. In the highly symbolic imagery of Tayal lmuhu poetry, the limuq stood for a brother-in-law, probably because of its role in marriage negotiations.

Now that metal is easily obtained, old limuq are no longer treasured or even kept. Those who still have them often use them to feed chickens or dogs.

But once upon a time, a now misshapen limuq was bright and shiny, the centerpiece of wedding festivities. Maybe for years afterwards it reminded the aging couple of the happy event. Years pass, people die, and a new generation sees nothing more than a tatty, stained old wok, useful for nothing more than feeding animals. But in its day, it was glorious.

limuq collected by Watan Kahat
This one was cast brass; here he points out a thick part which 吳宗霖Gong-maker Wu patched for him.


Thursday, December 24, 2009

How the past comes back to haunt us!

When I taught at the Language Center/語言測驗訓練中心 in the late 1970s, we had a teacher named Dennis, Irish from South Boston. Dennis had trained for the priesthood, but evidently did not have the vocation, because he ended up teaching English in Taipei, and was visible from miles away. The reason was that tailors were cheap in those days, so Dennis would find the most outrageous, outlandishly loud cloth for his clothes. We always used to joke that his tailor had to wear welding goggles when he was making Dennis's clothes.

One day an advertising agency asked the Language Center for help in enlisting some "native foreigners," as we were called, for a photo shoot. We were supposed to pose as a wild rock 'n roll band playing, wearing appropriately wild clothing. I enlisted Bill, Michael, and George, but ever since I read 墨子, my taste in clothing has always been more subdued than wild: colors at least. I asked Dennis for help, and he very kindly lent me a shirt, one he wore for funerals, court engagements, and other such quiet, formal occasions.

We gathered for the photo shoot. The advertising agency especially imported a photographer from Japan. We took up our instruments: Michael on the saxophone, Bill on the drums, George and I on the guitar. Bill was the only one of us who could actually play the instrument in our hands, but it was a still shot, not a sound clip. We lined up, lights, action.. fizzle. The photographer looked perplexed. Lights, actions… fizzle… the photographer came over and held a light meter up to Dennis’s shirt, shaking his head as he watched the needle go crazy. He sighed heavily, rolled his eyes towards heaven, fiddled with the lights and his filters, and finally completed the shot.

The poster gained us a certain notoriety in Taipei in those days, and I had to explain many, many times that that was NOT MY SHIRT!
I thought the past was gone and buried, until recently I got in touch with Bill again after many decades, and found that he still had a copy of the infamous poster. I reproduce it here in sign of my sincerity to be honest about my past.

And don't forget, that was NOT MY SHIRT!!!

Friday, December 18, 2009

喜歡打破沙鍋璺到底。常想,鄧小平身經百戰,照理說是個冷靜、看得遠的人,為甚麼天安門處理的像暴君模式一樣?

早二十年,文化大革命初期,紅衛兵起亂,劉少奇與鄧小平看大勢失控,請毛澤東處理,毛叫他們到北京坐鎮。到了北京,蒯大富司令的紅衛兵「造反有理」,鄧劉才恍然大悟,文化大革命不是為了共產主義,不是為了社會主義,而是為了鞏固獨裁的絕對權威除掉鄧與林。鄧被整,而身為國家元首的劉少奇竟被學生折磨至死。十年浩劫,死者不計其數,中國的進步倒退了二十年。

天安門學運,也許讓鄧怕了。也許他這樣想:當年,學生可以將國家元首折磨死、害死無數百姓,焉知當前學運不會一樣?怕了、慌了,坦克車派進天安門。

我不是為鄧小平辯解,我只想了解,到底是怎麼一會事?

I am not a horseman in the Light Brigade: mine is not to do or die, mine is but to wonder why.

Deng Xiaoping was nobody's fool. He was a master at enduring setbacks and delaying gratification, he was capable of taking a long view on events, he led China towards a freer society. Why, then, did he call in the tanks at Tienanmen?

Perhaps it was a panic reaction. When the Cultural Revolution was getting out of hand, and the Red Guards were starting to rampage, Chairman Mao sent Deng and Liu Shaoqi to Beijing settle things down. It soon became apparent that the Red Guards (almost entirely students, high school students at first) were set up by Mao to bring down Deng and Liu, who were both tortured. Liu was then the leader of government, but the Red Guards tortured him to death. Nobody knows how many died during the Cultural Revolution, but certainly tens of millions at least, and China was set back a generation.

Twenty some years down the road, when Deng was the leader of the government, the students took to the streets. Maybe Deng panicked and thought that ensuing havoc would kill millions more and set back all the progress he had so painfully made.

I am not excusing Deng and I am not excoriating him. I simply wonder why.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

有些事,必須看背後推動的人的動機。最近有報導,抽煙可以防止老人癡呆;時常也有研究發現,抽煙對人體的千萬個好處。問題是,背後贊助研究的人,是煙商。同理,有各種研究發現牛奶、雞蛋對人體的好處;問題是,背後贊助研究的人是誰?猜得出來吧,是賣牛奶、賣雞蛋的商人。若是中立、客觀研究,牛奶、雞蛋、香煙,沒有一樣對人體不是有害無益。甚至,香煙未必是最糟的。

最近商人大力推銷「藝術家」蔡國強。藝術被商人大力推銷,本來就有問題。看看蔡先生的作品,平平,沒甚麼特別的美感、洞察、創意;恕我直言,在臺灣可以遠遠超越蔡先生的作品水準,大有人在。可能我心機多,可是看了作品,我不得不想,是不是有人炒作?

說實話,要看作品、要看創意、要看美,看蔡先生的作品,大不如看牛舍
這裡
這裡
尤其這筆


當然,不可否認,抽煙的確防止老人癡呆,因為來不及老、來不及癡呆,已經心臟衰竭死亡,要不然癌症死亡。所以,不可否認,抽煙防止老人癡呆,確實有這個作用在。同理,跳樓可以防止禿頭,只要趁年輕頭髮多時跳。還是不要跳好。煙、蛋、牛奶少碰為妙。蔡先生的作品與牛舍,我愛牛舍。

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The blogosphere has been just that little bit less contaminated lately, as I have been busy preparing teaching material for my new course which I am starting in January (聽說如意) and haven't had time to write.

But I have been alert. I recently collected this great quote:

「一個人身高一百五十公分的話,兩個人就三百公尺。」

"If one person is about 1.5 meters tall, two people would be three hundred meters."


Stay tuned!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

You just gotta love bureaucrats. Obama promised government transparency and openness, right? So they are having a workshop on openness. Only catch is, it's closed to the public.

Read all about it::here:::

Sunday, December 06, 2009

希望是真的

本局新聞稿 (98年12月新聞稿)
98/12/02
澄清媒體不實報導「國有財產局租售七星潭開發案國有土地,圖利財團」

財政部國有財產局(以下簡稱國產局)澄清,媒體報導花蓮縣政府核准七星潭風景區內國有土地開發、用地變更案,業者已取得部分土地興建渡假村,及國產局將配合租售給財團等新聞,並非事實。另業者擬規劃開發之國有土地業經花蓮縣政府於民國87年間依土地法第14條規定公告劃設為「海岸及水道一定限度內不得為私有」之土地,依法既不得私有,故國產局不會辦理出售。

Thursday, December 03, 2009

請花一點時間,連署拯救花蓮七星潭自然景觀的活動!
秀麗山水是我們最寶貴的資源,幾乎是我們唯一可以留給自己和子孫、還給大自然最無價的寶藏!不要滿足不肖商人為權為利的貪婪,不要放縱某些官方體制的無明。捍衛家園是身為臺灣子民、地球子民,每一個人的義務。
進入下方連結:

http://campaign.tw-npo.org/campaign/sign.php?id=2009111918201900
頁面的最下方可選擇加入個人連署或團體連署,
日行一善,不難。

希望集結眾人的力量與能量,讓我們的自然美景可以長久一點~

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

1PM ...Well, I Don't Mean It in a Sexually Harassing Way, Sir...
Trainee: This customer is mad because we won't cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won't stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He's gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won't cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This... uh... Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I'm sorry.

Riverview Parkway, San Diego
via Overheard in the Office, Nov 30, 2009

Tuesday, December 01, 2009


A violent killer sentenced to 95 years in prison in Arkansas has allegedly killed four Seattle policeman. What, you ask, why wasn't he in prison in Arkansas? We need the Republicans to stop all these left-wing shenanigans, these bleeding-heart liberals who aren't tough enough to take pride in law and order!

Softly, softly. The convict was pardoned by the governor of Arkansas, Mike Huckabee, once Republican contender for the presidential nomination.

But all is well: On Sunday, Huckabee issued this statement on his Web site: "Should he be found to be responsible for this horrible tragedy, it will be the result of a series of failures in the criminal justice system in both Arkansas and Washington state."

Isn't that beautiful? As we say in Chinese, 推得很乾淨, he pushed that one away from himself very cleanly. It’s not Huckabee's fault he pardoned a deranged violent criminal, it's the fault of the criminal justice system, and not just in Arkansas, but in Washington state too!

Pardon me while I vomit.

Monday, November 30, 2009

I was recording a flock of 白喉笑鶇 (白喉噪眉) White-throated laughing thrush (Garrulax albogularis) that was passing by. As I tried to record them, the dogs started singing.




I have other clips of the dogs singing on YouTube click here::

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tnaq tasiq loziq na itan

我念大學時,大約民國六十三、四年,有一次從盧山出山準備回紅塵,遇上一群上山的泰雅,好像剛從埔里採購回山。他們看到我,每一個都笑。後面一位文面老太太,看到我也笑:她的眼睛顏色跟我很像,是綠色的,大家都笑說,「你看,她的眼睛跟你一樣!」Balay!

我一直沒弄懂,是yagi白內障,或者眼色本來這樣?她不會說國語,而且大家都笑的很開心,來不及問,大家揮揮手,各走各的。

One time when I was in college, in the early 70s, I was coming out of the high mountains in central Taiwan and met a group of Tayal coming back from shopping in town. Every one laughed when they saw me; something was going on. Towards the rear of the group was an old lady with traditional face tattoes ~ and very untraditional green eyes. We all laughed and they said, "See, her eyes are the same as yours!" Balay!

I never figured out if she had cataracts or her eyes were naturally green. She couldn't speak Mandarin, and I couldn't speak Tayal then, and anyway everybody was laughing too hard. Before I could figure it out, everybody waved and we went our separate ways.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Not necessarily.

Columbia guy: So my friend has this idea for our project to put generators on playground equipment that could let kids power the lights in the park. I told him my only problem with it is: what if we end up electrocuting the kids accidentally? That would be really bad.

--1 Train Overheard by: Nathan

Monday, November 23, 2009

夫子說:辭,達而已矣。寫作要素,盡在其中。

文筆要好,不外乎:一、名正言順。二、無贅字。

名正言順,必須掌握字、詞正確意義:上溯古人用法,一脈相傳、演變、涵義等等,下字才得體。如果我們對一個字、詞、片語沒有共同認識的話,語言功能就廢了。例如,我剛提出「古人」,我假定讀者看到斯詞想到古代的人,而不是長的很高的人、樹上的小鳥、或者餐桌上的白色小湯匙。當然,我有我的自由:我高興的話,我說「古人」指「電腦螢幕」,但這麼一搞,語言、溝通就解體了。

無贅字,文筆精要,多一字不可,少一字不可。要作到這一點,真是功夫。

一個很奇怪的現象:同一行,甚至同一嗜好的人,往往有共同點,而斯共同點,超越時空、國籍。大凡,律師文筆不好。臺灣律師文筆之差,早已證明。例如,英文的intellectual property rights,在臺灣居然將intellectual翻成「智慧」,多荒謬!智慧,是經過多少事、多少反省而修出的結晶,絕不同于人家發明新機器、寫書、作曲的智力或知識。Gilbert Hyatt發明microprocessor,非常聰明,但與「智慧」扯不上邊。

所以,大陸翻「知識產權」,合理多了。真希望臺灣依樣可以改正。…. 不太可能吧。嗌。

了解嗎?好,我出個題目:decriminalize翻「除罪化」,問題出在哪?

這就犯了第二條。英文字的詞性很清楚,中文則未必。為了顯示這是動詞,所以英文加字尾~ize;嚴格說,這種文筆本來就不漂亮,很多~ize字尾的字,極為笨拙,如finalize, pressurize, privatize, colorize, prioritize,都是極不優美的英文,少用為妙。但無論如何,英文確須詞性。若說詞性,「除」已表明動詞,所以「除罪化」的「化」,是多餘的。

設問:「除罪」與「除罪化」有甚麼不同?沒有的話,就選比較精簡的「除罪」。

當然,這牽涉到前提:文章要優雅呢?或者讀起來艱澀難懂、以作者強勝的學術來懾服讀者?

Sunday, November 22, 2009

In the Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave, you may purchase an assault rifle, but you are not permitted to hang your laundry out to dry. The main logic behind that is that civilized neighbors should have enough money to buy a dryer, and anybody who wants to dry laundry in the sun, for an environmentally friendly, fresh smelling wash, must be trailer trash, so rules, regulations, and ordinances abound to prohibit such uncouth behavior. here:::

Don't ask me to explain it, it doesn't make any sense to me, either.

But it does bring to mind that golden moldie,
We had joy, we had fun, we had laundry in the sun~

Thursday, November 19, 2009

This blog is a veritable lode of useful information. I bet you have always been wondering:::
how long would the Golden Gate Bridge be if you measured it in Oreo cookies?

I know you've been sitting up late into the night wondering about this, allow me to inform you that the Golden Gate bridge is 28,800 Oreo cookies long. This is calculated on an average cookie size of 44mm diameter, and 8mm thick.

Thank dog that's answered! Now you may thank me for allowing you a good night's sleep, at last. Maybe you can dream about having 28,800 Oreos to eat. Burp.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

overheard on the subway: What are friends for?
高中男生對同學說,「他跟你一樣,長的很好笑。」

High school boy to buddy: "He's just like you, he looks ridiculous."

Monday, November 16, 2009

Concerning polyphony (music with more than one musical part playing at a time), Daniel J Levitin says, "The Catholic Church banned music that contained polyphony, fearing it would cause people to doubt the unity of God."

Sounds superstitious? But then, consider that in our music now we have polyphony, quadrophony, harmony, and cacophony, people doubt not only the unity of god, but the existence of god.

So maybe they had a point. But I'll stick with polyphony, thanks a lot.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Profound gratitude to Dicki and Val from the Boston Children's Foundation who came to Taiwan to hold a workshop on Dance Movement Therapy / 舞蹈治療, in particular treating the trauma of little children who survived the floods and landslides of Morakot typhoon. The Foundation paid for their travel expenses and they held the workshop gratis, training thirty therapists in the Rainbowdance, who will soon begin working to help those children.
兩個外籍舞蹈治療師自費來臺灣訓練一批治療師,幫八八水災的創傷兒童的心理建設,在下很感動。
但我又不得不搖頭:如此治療師不遠萬里而來之事,喊「愛台灣」的人不聞不問;外國人勸陳前總統收斂一點,以免引起戰爭害死臺灣,右派聲音就大:「外國人不可以過問台灣的事!」

Friday, November 06, 2009

今天射箭時,一箭偏高,打到靶上緣,往上跳,飛到靶後谷壑。箭沒找到,卻找到了一顆完整的龜甲。卜:大吉。
While I was shooting today, one arrow skipped on the top of the target and flew off into the ravine. I haven't found the arrow yet, but I did find a complete turtle shell and carapace. A good sign.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009


從前部落一位長老,Oro,問我,「Yugan,現在月亮是不是沒有以前那麼亮?」

「你說多久以前,Oro?幾百萬年前,有可能。」

「沒有,我感覺到,現在月亮沒有我年輕時候那麼亮。我年輕時,夜間從部落走到工寮,只要有月亮,走山路、過森林,我就看得很清楚,可是現在不行。是不是月亮比較不亮?」

「嗷,Oro,大概是上了年紀吧。我們看書、看近的東西,要戴老花眼鏡,就是因為到了一個年紀,眼珠子比較不能吸收光。」

「也不是,Yugan,我現在眼睛還是很好。應該是月亮比較不亮。」

「才幾十年,月光沒那麼快就變化。我覺得,現在天天晚上開電燈,可能是現在眼睛比較習慣電燈,所以沒有電燈就看不清楚。」

「嗷,實在,有道理!我年輕的時候,沒有電,手電筒長甚麼樣子沒看過。現在到處都有電燈,難怪晚上看不清楚。」

A couple of years ago, a tribal elder named Oro asked me, "Yugan, is the moon less bright than it was before?"

"How long ago do you mean, Oro? A couple million years ago, maybe."

"No, I feel that the moon is not as bright as it was when I was young. When I was young, I could walk from the Tribe to my hut at nighttime with only the moonlight, on mountain paths, through the jungle, and I could see fine, but I can't do that now. Maybe the moon isn't as bright as it was before."

"Ao, Oro, it may be age. When we read or look at things close up, we need reading glasses, because when you get older, your eyes don't absorb light as well as before."

"No, Yugan, my eyes are fine. I think the moon isn't as bright as it was before."

"That's only been a couple decades, the moonlight wouldn't change that quickly. I feel, now every night we have electric lights, maybe our eyes now are used to electric lights, so we can't see clearly without electric lights."

"Ao, balay, that makes sense! When I was young, we didn't have electricity, and I had never even seen a flashlight. Now there are electric lights everywhere. No wonder we can't see clearly at night."

Sunday, November 01, 2009

泰雅司機遇到狗躺在馬路中間:「牠沒受過教育,所以必須讓牠。」

Tayal driver, commenting on a dog lying in the middle of the road: "He's never been to school, so you have to yield to him."

Thursday, October 29, 2009

There truly is a silver lining to every cloud. Poor Iceland suffers from financial crises and mismanagement, but on the bright side, due to all those difficulties, the McDonald's franchise in Iceland is going out of business. This is sure to improve Icelanders' health.

Interesting to note that the first person to eat a Mickey D's junkburger in Iceland, then Prime Minister Oddsson, was also forced out of office by his incompetence in handling the financial crises which have almost bankrupted his country. But then, nobody ever called McDonald's brain food.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

孔子誕辰不放假了、光復節不放假了。

中美斷交後,很多人講一句「國民外交」,處處想如何讓自由中國臺灣在國際上形象美好。很久沒聽到人家說「國民外交」這一句,現在取而代之,是「愛臺灣!」的怒吼。愛臺灣,紀念黷武濫殺、反對民主的日本帝國軍閥投降、撤出臺灣的光復節怎不放假呢?

但現在很少聽到「國民外交」。臺灣現在給世界甚麼樣的印象?除了颱風水災、前總統貪污,新聞、輿論、世界耳目,有沒有我們市井小民可以左右的事?

一個在泰國舉辦生態旅遊的美僑一講到臺灣就罵。他說,除了幾位環保人士之外,他見過的臺灣旅客全都是混帳:口袋裏有幾個錢就瞧不起天下的人、毫無文化氣息、沒品味沒格調;他問我怎能忍受住這種爛地方?我叫他來臺灣看看,根本不是那一回事。可是他印象已經太糟,堅決拒絕來臺灣。

你看這種國民外交的實效。

你說「愛臺灣」,還留這種印象給別人。

再想。大家說愛臺灣要環保,我們作得怎樣?幾年前,念環保出身的郝龍斌推了一個法案,為了保護臺灣的環境,少用塑膠袋。需要立法強制才減少用塑膠袋,這個問題暫且不談:人民履行的績效如何?

日本人不重視環保,惡名昭彰,平均日本人一年一個人用三百個塑膠袋,高居全世界第三名。第二名是文化水平低落的澳洲,全世界第二名:平均一年一個人用三百二十五個塑膠袋。第一名,平均一年一個人用九百個塑膠袋,就是臺灣。

讀者說,「哇,真丟臉!都是別人不檢點、揮霍浪費,把臺灣的名聲搞壞掉了!」瞋罵一陣,然後呢?請問看倌,下次出門,帶環保袋嗎?能減少用塑膠袋的量嗎?能持之以恆嗎?…還是罵貪官比較過癮吧。

(Blogger自白:我平常大概平均十天用一個塑膠袋。)

「愛臺灣」的問題是,「愛」是甚麼?大家都知道愛,可是實在很難說明愛是甚麼。這樣說如何?愛一個人,不是光跟她逛街、跳舞、狂歡一陣便另求新歡;愛,日日年年想照顧她、年年怕她受傷、自己差一點沒關係,只希望她越來越好。

如果愛是這樣的話,依我個人的觀察,我覺得戒嚴時期的人比較愛臺灣;現在只愛商品與廣告。

但愛臺灣的愛,不應當是男女熱戀的愛吧,應當是一種比較像親情的愛。

親情,建立在「孝」,可惜孔子講的孝被誤解。「不孝有三,無後為大」,這句不是孔子說的,是曾驂曾子說的。夫子自己說曾參頭腦不靈活(「參也魯」),死抓一個呆板的「孝」觀念,常讓夫子無奈。

曾子想的孝順,順多于孝,以為父母之言不敢違、乖乖聽父母的話就是孝,所以孝經記錄,曾子問孔子,「敢問子從父之令,可謂孝乎?」子曰:「是何言與,是何言與!昔者天子有爭臣七人,雖無道,不失其天下; 諸侯有爭臣五人,雖無道,不失其國;大夫有爭臣三人,雖無道,不失其家;士有爭友,則身不離於令名;父有爭子,則身不陷於不義。則子不可以不爭於父,臣不可以不爭於君;故當不義,則爭之。從父之令,又焉得為孝乎!」

于孝經,夫子又說,「君子之事上也,進思盡忠,進思補過,將順其美,匡救其惡,故上下能相親也。」忠孝,不是唯命是從。韓詩外傳記孫叔敖曰,「畏鞭箠之嚴,而不敢諫其父,非孝子也;懼斧鉞之誅,而不敢諫其君,非忠臣也。」

其實,夫子講的孝道,耐人尋味。夫子說,孝在揚親;讓大家說你父母把孩子教的很好、父母的孩子是有用的人、對天下、社會負責、付出,就是孝。孝,並不在于生不生小討債鬼。孝而不忠,是不為孝;害天下以利父母,是為不孝。

我真希望大家能把夫子講的孝道(不是曾子的呆板孝順!),廣泛施用于臺灣社會。

不只是施用于臺灣的社會。大家耳熟能詳的孝經一句,夫子說,「身體髮膚,受之父母,不敢毀傷,孝之始也。」這句,稍微調一下:「身體髮膚,受之天地,不敢毀傷生態,孝之始也。」如果大家能保護臺灣的環境、不再任意破壞山林海灘湖埤造成災害,留個美麗、健康的臺灣給後人,這應該稱得上愛臺灣吧。

也希望明年起,教師節、光復節放假!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009











Yumin has been climbing trees again.

I reported on this blog last year that Yumin treed a kitty-cat and then tried to climb up after it.

This morning we were awakened by the racket of Byajing's barking in the ravine out front. I went out to investigate and found Tlahuy and Byajing craning their necks at a kitty high in the tree, and Yumin muscling his way up. He's actually got good climbing form. He uses pressure on his back to force his way upwards, but unluckily for him, luckily for the cat, the branches branch apart before he can get close to the perched cat.

I finally asked Sabiy to go get some dog treats. Then I lifted Yumin off the tree, and carried him away. Tlahuy and Byajing followed, and we gave them all treats and praise. The plan was to give the cat time to slip away.

Notice that Tlahuy and Byajing just stay earthbound and hope gravity will bring Cat to Dog, but Yumin exerts his powerful imagination and physique to bring Dog to Cat ("If the mountain won’t come to Muhammad…") You can't help but admire his imagination! Yumin was unable to go too high because the branches separated, removing his friction. But what if he found a tree which enabled him to go all the way up to the cat's perch? I'm sure the cat wouldn't stick around, but I worry about how Yumin would get down.

That would be a terribly embarrassing phonecall to have to make: "Hello, fire station, could you please send someone over, my beagle has climbed up a tree and he can't get down…"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009



This morning the trees were full of raucous birds. I recorded three sets and posted them on flickr. In the first, you can hear 樹鵲 tree pies and 藍鵲 blue magpies staking claim to the large tree out front, while to the right, a flock of 笑鶇 laughing thrushes trill in warning. Other birds also sing in the background. The birds flit back and forth among the branches. A blue magpie takes a strategic perch on a branch.



City dwellers are highly recommended to watch and listen to all three, to recall the wonders of our world, and to cleanse the soul.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Today Denise the Vet came to give the dogs their annual shots. Yumin HATES to have shots ~ I think it's the indignity of it all that distresses him, because he is generally impervious to pain. He remembers Denise, no doubt about that at all! He wouldn't come near her, so I told her to stay indoors while I coaxed Yumin over. I took a firm grip on his collar and held him while Denise gave him his shots. Then Yumin at a brisk pace trotted as far away from us as he could get and still remain on our property, by the front gate, sat down, and waited to be comforted.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Typhoon Parma should get an award for Most Persistent Typhoon.
Now go away, please!

Monday, October 12, 2009

「Yugan,你那邊蚊子多不多?」

「烏來哪裡蚊子不多?」

「那麼你就燒蚊香吧!」

「沒用。」

「有!蚊香一定有用,因為蚊子受不了味道,所以牠們飛的時候,需要捏住鼻子。這樣的話,牠們沒辦法平衡,飛不好就比較不能咬人。」

「對呀,沒錯,飛不好,所以牠們用走的來咬人。」

"Yugan, do you get a lot of mosquitoes at your place?

"Where in Wulai aren't there a lot of mosquitoes?"

"Then you should burn mosquito coils."

"Doesn’t work."

"Yes it does! Mosquito coils do work, because the mosquitoes can't stand the smell, so when they fly, they pinch their noses shut. That way, they lose their balance, and if they can't fly well, they can't bite people so well."

"Yeah, right, they can't fly, so they walk up and bite you."

Thursday, October 08, 2009

We all sleep easier when we remember how the Republicans and the Christian Right are protecting everybody’s morals. These are people who take strong moral stands, believe in the sanctity of marriage and the family, and man the bastions against divorce and pornography.

The latest Republican candidate for Vice President, ex-Governor Palin, was so proud of being absolutely right on all moral issues that her unmarried teenage daughter got pregnant. The father of Palin’s grandfather, who of course has long since broken up with Bristol Palin, is now working out at the gym. Reason? To get in shape, because he is going to pose nude for Playgirl magazine. Here:::

Hurrah for Christian Republic morals and good old-fashioned hypocrisy!

Monday, October 05, 2009

愛臺灣!愛臺灣!可是拜託,芭瑪颱風可不可以不要那麼愛臺灣?
懇請芭瑪,不要一直留戀在巴士海峽,請快走!

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Of all the holidays on the calendar, Western or Chinese, the only one I really celebrate is 中秋節, the Mid Autumn Festival, October 3 this year by the solar calendar. The main activities for the Mid Autumn Festival are admiring the Harvest Moon and eating mooncakes, yum yum!

I love this holiday because a} it means the torrid, muggy Taiwan summer is just about over and relief is in sight; b} the moon is beautiful; c} isn't it beautiful to have a national holiday for nothing more political or religious than admiring the moon: and finally, most important, d} mooncakes, yum yum!

This is the theory, mind you. The day before yesterday, it started raining. The weather has been cloudy all week, because we have two typhoons bearing down on us. Yesterday, the big day, it rained all day, and it's still raining now.

What can you do under such circumstances? First, we moved our tea drinking indoors from the porch. Yum yum, 民國八十四年珍藏的普洱,現在大約四、五十年 + mooncakes. Rather than admire the Harvest Moon, we admired our beloved 臺灣土狗Taiwan tugo Byajing, the Canine Moon.

Explanation: 'byajing' is Tayal for 'moon.'



Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Polanski is a movie director I had a certain sympathy for, after the Mason gang murdered his pregnant wife. But sympathy goes only so far, not so far as rape or pedophilia. Polanski has lived in France for many years as a fugitive from justice, evading sentencing for raping a 13 year old girl. He was arrested when he left France and went to Switzerland. The French government has protested his arrest.

Double standards, says I. I cannot imagine the French government speaking up for a low-paid, uneducated, unknown African accused of any crime. Polanski should not be above the law just because he is a rich movie maker. It is hard to believe that France is such a perfect society that the government can find no more productive outlets for their efforts than protecting a rapist and pedophile. I can't believe that they have no more pressing issues to deal with.

Unless I am severely mistaken, Polanski is a Polish name. According to Reuters, Poland has approved a law making castration mandatory for pedophiles. Maybe Mr Polanski would like to visit the homeland of his ancestors?

Monday, September 28, 2009

My father, the son of Serbian immigrants, was raised in Donora, a Pennsylvania steel town where Slavs were looked down on. Slavs did the backbreaking hard work in the steel mills, that's all, and never got a chance to be promoted to higher jobs. When World War II started, Dad joined the Army, partly for patriotism (and what Serb would miss a chance to shoot a German?), partly to get out of Donora.

To his great regret, Dad had taken shorthand classes in high school, and since more men could shoot guns than take shorthand, Dad never got to go to the front. He served as Eisenhower's personal secretary in the Pentagon, and eventually earned promotion to officer. After the war, Dad was back in Donora on a visit. One of the steel mill managers shook his hand and said, "Pete, come back to the mill and we'll make you a foreman" -- an unheard-of honor for a Slav. Dad told him, "You can go to hell, I'm going to college!"

I think this was Dad's finest moment, and it reminds me of a story of my own. When I was a college freshman, I spent my Winter vacation (in January 1972) in Saigon. The ceasefire intended to end the Viet Nam War had just begun. I met a boat captain, a tough, burly hardhat about 50. He was bidding for a contract to take out the mines the US military had planted in Haiphong harbor. He needed men. This was a rare, historic opportunity, and a great adventure. I told him I was considering taking a semester off from school to join his crew. I'll never forget this rough captain shaking his head, chopping the air, saying, "Go to school! Go to school!"

He was right. In the world today, how many people have college degrees? One per cent. One out of every hundred people in the world today has a college degree. This privilege should be shouldered with honor and respect; a privilege entails a responsibility not to abuse that privilege.

Before I started my college studies (師大國文, Chinese Lit, NTNU) I went for a hike. In the mountains I encountered a Sadeq - Tayal tribesman about my age. He spoke good Mandarin, and was obviously intelligent, alert, curious. He asked about my plans. I told him that after I went back to the city I would start college. He sorrowfully, enviously told me that he wanted to continue his education, but he was too poor; his family needed what he could contribute through his meager income.

Recently I heard of an advisor in an American college saying that all he remembered from his college days were the part time jobs he held down. What a waste! What a shame! You have plenty of opportunity to work after you get out of school, take my word for it, but how many opportunities do you get to think, to learn, or to study great works of literature, art, science, or philosophy? Four years you have the opportunity to learn, to ponder great issues, to expand your imagination, to see through other people's eyes, and to squander it on football, beer, or karaoke? Self-respect alone should be enough to make the choice, to have confidence that your potential extends farther than stupid frivolity. Fun is fun, but there should be more to human potential than that.

Another frivolous abuse of the privilege to study is to fritter it away on trivial pursuits. Once I read a review of a book researching the life of a minor hanger-on to a group of minor beatniks in about 1959. Think of how much education it takes to produce someone who is capable of doing research. And to squander it on some make-work topic like THAT? Shame!

IMHO, learning and thinking are among the greatest human joys. 學而時習之,不亦樂乎? There are countless interesting ideas to play with, immeasurable concepts to intrigue and beguile your mind, infinite thoughts to pursue. What could be more fun?

So everybody join me now as we sing Happy Birthday to Confucius. 孟子說,「周雖舊邦,其命惟新’,文王之謂也」其亦夫子之謂耶。「仰之彌高,鑽之彌堅;瞻之在前,忽焉在後。夫子循循然善誘人,博我以文,約我以禮。欲罷不能,既竭吾才,如有所立卓爾。雖欲從之,末由也已。」

Today, Confucius's Birthday, take a moment to express your gratitude mentally to all of your teachers. Nothing on this earth is more wonderful than the human capacity to learn.
"America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week." - Evan Esar

Saturday, September 26, 2009

How nice. Science has finally verified that human bodies glow. Click here and here.

Aren't they a bit slow? Chinese have talked about that since before the Roman Empire existed, but hey, everybody knows science was invented by Galileo and Newton, in EUROPE, so what could the Chinese possibly contribute?

Talk about Aura photography (pioneered by Nicolas Telsa in 1891), talk about Kirlian photography, you're a nut, you're New Age, and some Professional Skeptic will jump on your case (~but of course, professional skeptics serve their egos and prejudices, not the pursuit of knowledge). They can't now, because Scientists have Verified this. Woweezowiee.

But, better late than never, I suppose.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Cecilia Lindqvist林西莉著古琴的故事(2006):「幾十年前所有的琴都用絲弦,但八0年代以後,愈來愈多人開始使用有很多優點的剛絲弦或尼龍弦。…音色大大不同。…最受損失的是泛音,用絲弦時泛音顯然要長一些。對于古琴音樂而論,正是以泛音的音色繚繞為特點。」


是呀,人心不古,古法不再,為何今人如此不重古、不遵古呢?

都是西潮搞出來的禍吧!古代華夏懂得敬古法、循古制。看倌呀,你說是不是?

且慢。請先看這段:明:陸世儀:思辨錄輯要:「琴,古音也,調,非古調也。…聞造弦之家,茍且省事,即絲法亦遞減,則音亦非古音矣。」

Ooops.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009


a rainbow of dancers
Originally uploaded by Yugan Dali

陸世儀思辨錄輯要
人少小時、未有不好歌舞者。蓋天籟之發、天機之動、歌舞即禮樂之漸也。聖人因其歌舞而教之以禮樂;所謂因其勢而利導之。今人教子寬者,或流于放蕩;嚴者,或并遏其天機。皆不識聖人禮樂之意。欲蒙養之端難矣。

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Of course President Obama has much on his mind, but I can't help feeling a certain disappointment that he has not gotten his priorities straight. He failed to remind the nation and the world that September 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Therefore, I take it upon myself to announce this noteworthy, august event, to remind you, why is this day different from all other days? Because this is the day, my hearties, ye' talk like a fire-breathing, rough and ready pirate, and look sharp, be sprightly about it, or it's under the keel with ye', ARRGH!

here and here

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Back in the days when you had your choice between Hitler and Stalin, Chiang Kai Shek invited German drillmasters to train the ragtag recruits who were trying to repel the sadistic Japanese imperialists who were killing, raping, and pillaging China.

Some of these drillmasters stayed in China through the war, and afterwards declined to return to Germany in their Nazi uniforms, so they stayed put. When Mao conquered the mainland, these drillmasters figured, correctly probably, that German drillmasters, no matter how tepid or ardent their love for Hitler and the Nazis, would not fare well under a totalitarian communist regime, so when CKS moved to Taiwan, they packed their bags and moved too.

A drillmaster is, after all, a sort of teacher, and Chinese tradition pays profound respect to teachers, so the retired drillmasters were given homes and small stipends. There were only a few, and I never heard of any training ROC forces after the move to Taiwan, but there were a few of these old Nazis around Taipei; I would guess they have all died by now.

An old German soldier lived on 信義路 not far from where I lived in the early 70s. People said he lived quietly, modestly, harmlessly, and was a voracious reader, spending his last years among piles of books.

On the other end of the spectrum was an old Nazi living on 陽明山 Yangming Mountain, on the northern edge of Taipei. In the late 70s, Dave responded to an ad for a room for rent to foreigners only, and found himself renting a room from an elderly German with a heavy accent (in English; no Chinese).

The house was of a type almost extinct, 日本平房 wooden houses built during the Japanese Occupation of Taiwan to house the occupiers. They were built in Japanese style with Western windows and outer doors. When the Japanese surrendered, the houses were taken over and, very sensibly, kept in use, until they finally succumbed to age, termites, rot, typhoons that flew off with roof tiles, and sky-high land prices that made the land they stood on far too valuable for a one storey dwelling.
If you didn't mind the mosquitoes or rats, and the mold didn't bother you, they were quite pleasant to live in. I sought them out, and lived in three or four. So when Dave saw that the address on the ad led him to a Japanese wooden house, he was pleased, paid his rent to the old German promptly, and moved in without further ado.

At the crack of dawn the next morning, Dave was startled awake by a terrific racket. Crawling out of his room to investigate, he was alarmed to see his landlord, dressed in a complete Nazi uniform, wearing boots and goose-stepping up and down the hallway of the little house, screaming "Sieg Heil!" as he snapped off Nazi rigid-arm salutes. This went on for an hour, and was continued without break every morning that Dave stayed in the house, which was not long.

Understand that part of the shock was the idea of wearing shoes indoors. No civilized person enters a house shod, much less a wooden house! Dave said the floors banged like snare drums.

The landlord's only other passion in life was his chickens. He raised dozens of chickens in cages behind the house, and over and over again he explained to Dave that "These are good chickens, and you see why? Every one of them is WHITE, jah! White is the superior color! I will NOT HAVE chickens of any other color! No black chickens for me! I KILL the black chicken!! No red chicken, no brown chicken, only WHITE chickens, because WHITE is the superior color, jah! All mine chickens are WHITE, and ONLY WHITE, PURE WHITE!!”

Dave moved out after about ten days. He didn't have much money, but he couldn’t stand to stay in that house for a day longer than it took him to find other lodgings. "I'm no Jew, but for crying out loud I just couldn't stand that old freak!" He vowed revenge. He promised himself that one night he would sneak back to the house and spray-paint all the chickens some non-Aryan color. I suggested green. Dave thought that was a pretty good idea, and delighted himself by visualizing, over and over again, how horrified Herr Nazi would be to wake up one morning and discover that all his pure white chickens had turned green overnight. Dave would imitate a heavy Cherman accent, "Mine CHICKENS! Mine chickens zey haff turnt green, vat hass happened to mine VITE chickens, jah?" Unfortunately, Dave was a man of words, not action. I volunteered to buy the paint and go help spray; what self-respecting Serbian-American would pass up a chance to spray a Nazi's chickens green? But Dave contented himself with thinking how mortified old Herr Nazi would be to discover that his chickens were green, and nothing ever came of it. Too bad.




Saturday, September 12, 2009

據「百家姓」,「施」姓並不普遍,主要分佈在江、浙一帶,但施姓未列入百名大姓內。臺灣不少施族,鹿港尤多;社頭蕭姓校大,所以彰化諺語說,「社頭蕭一半,鹿港施了了。」

大約三十年前聽朋友說…菲律賓華僑,姓「施」的很多。一位菲律賓來的施先生說他很喜歡自由中國臺灣,因為他到處可以看到他一位遠親的大名,而且這位遠親呢,似乎是臺灣風雲人物。

我朋友費解。哪一個姓施的?剛好他們遇到挖馬路,施先生很得意地指路邊的牌子說,「你看!就是他!!」

牌子上面寫:


Thursday, September 10, 2009

能為夫子,其內省功夫必極深。能內省者,往往內向。內向者往往害羞。害羞者,往往與眾人相處澀戾,不知所以周旋應對。

臆之,夫子鑽于禮,以知禮便知措手置足。父母野合而生夫子,少也賤,想必多尷尬,與人交,惴惴憢憢也,不知如何唱答進退。又早失怙,無榜樣,故志學禮,『不學禮,無以立。』知禮則處群安、居眾無憂。


Wednesday, September 09, 2009

I can't let this date go by without some notice ~ 090909 ~ hurrah for nines.

Can you stand the excitement?

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Far be it from me to pretend I know (or care) anything about economics. Nonetheless, I was heartened to read the World Economic Forum's global competitiveness report, in which Taiwan ranks 12th globally, up from 17th last year, right above the UK and below Hong Kong. South Korea ranks 19th, the PRC 29th, and Serbia 93rd. Actually pretty interesting.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Overheard on the bus: 烏來線


釣客,站在公車司機後面:「前面的那一班是誰開的?我去年買的手機用了沒多久就掉了。很奇怪,為甚麼沒有人養白鷺鷥?你們公司有一台車,車牌123。我剛看到摩托車號碼345。你知道嗎?英文的「西瓜」是water melon。我過法院的時候,看到法官出來,可是沒看到犯人。現在晚霞沒有以前好看,可能是季節。你看誰比較厲害,馬祖或者超人?我頭髮前幾天剪過。如果你眼睛閉起來,有沒有辦法把車子開到臺北?現在星期天的遊客比以前多。很多老人走路用拐杖,可是我阿姨戴隱形眼鏡。你有沒有被性騷擾過?年輕人的字寫的不漂亮。聽說魏xx的車子今天保養,可是林xx今天休假。聽奧辦的很大,可是我一直搞不清楚,到底是誰參加比賽?聽障的人看得見嗎?是不是全部都連在一起?聽不見,那麼他們看得到嗎?熱天喝汽水很舒服,可是有人比較喜歡喝酒。你公車上有人心臟病發作的話,你怎麼辦?新店市公所的前一站是檳榔路,可是捷運沒有檳榔路的站。我站在你後面受不了。我下車。」

釣客下車。

司機:「我頭暈。…」

我以前跟阿超講過這位釣客,她終于領教了。
其實,想一想,釣客講話的內容,蠻像本blog.

Fisherman, standing right in back of bus driver: “Who's driving the bus in front of you? Last year I bought a cell phone but before long I lost it. I wonder why nobody raises egrets. Your bus company has a bus with 123 on the license plate, and I just saw a motorcycle with 345 on its plate. Do you know how to say 'hsi kwa' in English? 'Water melon.' I went by the courthouse and saw judges coming out, but I didn't see any criminals. The clouds at sunset aren't as pretty as they used to be, maybe it's the season. Who do you think would win in a fight, Matzu (the goddess of sailors) or Superman? I got a haircut a few days ago. If you shut your eyes, could you drive all the way in to Taipei? There are more passengers on Sundays now. A lot of people walk with canes, but my aunt has contact lenses. Have you ever been sexually harassed? Young people can't write good calligraphy. I hear Wei's bus is in the garage for maintenance today, but Lin has the day off. The Deaf Olympics are really big, but I can't figure out, who is participating in them? Can deaf people see? Is everything all connected? If they can't hear, can they see? Drinking soda pop on a hot day feels great, but some people like liquor. What would you do if somebody had a heart attack on your bus? The bus stop before Hsintien City Hall is Betel Road, but the subway doesn't stop there. Standing in back of you is really uncomfortable. I'm getting off here."
Fisherman gets off bus.
Driver: "I feel dizzy."

Saturday, September 05, 2009

A lot of gesturing in Taipei these days. We are hosting the Deaf Olympics, so you see a lot of sign languages around. On my way to class, we were a bit early, so we sat in Dunkin' Donuts for some coffee and donuts. This is the Dunkin' Donuts across 忠孝西路 from Taipei Main Station. It turns out that many teams are lodging in the hotel next door. As I watched Russian athletes board their bus, and the Cuban team came back to the hotel, I couldn't help wonder at the changes.

When I was in college, I used to catch busses only a few steps from where I sat drinking coffee: a few steps, 35 years, and a million ways different. The building the Dunkin' Donuts is in was still many years in the future; when it was built, at 22 storeys, it was by far the tallest building in Taiwan, and people just off the train used to stand and gawk at it. In the early 70s, few buildings in Taiwan were over a dozen storeys. Where I waited 在騎樓下for the bus, a row of one and two storey buildings housed small stores, noodle shops, and odds and ends. The Cultural Revolution was still going on, so the slogan was 反共抗俄 Fight the Communists and Resist the Russians! Precious little chance of any Russian athletes coming to Taiwan then!

And it goes without saying that there was no Dunkin' Donuts then. That has just come to Taiwan in the last couple years, long after Reagan forced the gates open for Mickey D, American tobacco, and American liquor, which the government had not allowed, in order to protect the people's health. Mickey D, that is, not Dunkin' Donuts!!

Times have changed, and I wish the Russian team great success in the Deaf Olympics, although I have to say I hope the Cuban baseball team loses to Taiwan.

報紙頭條:「今晚台灣寫歷史」。指的是聽奧開幕典禮。很明顯想與北京奧運開幕典禮比,也很明顯沒得比。說實話:三年前,看倌知道有「聽奧」這回事嗎?恐怕世界眼光不在聽奧,光是這一點就輸北京奧運。

但又怎麼樣?人比人,會如何?認真辦、開心看成果,何必在乎寫歷史沒?

Thursday, September 03, 2009

For about 35 of the past 40 years, I have slept on tatami. In college, every time I moved to a new place I just plunked my two tatami on the floor, instant bed. Cheap, comfortable, good for your back, don't take up unnecessary space, easy to move. With care, tatami last for decades. Just don't let them get moldy, but if they do wear out, since they are mostly straw, they are highly biodegradable. Or use them as an archery target.

Last summer we were too busy to put the tatami out in the sun, and this July and August were very busy too. Last weekend, under the witheringly hot sun, looking at the weather forecast, I thought, great, sunny all next week. Even though we were busy from Thursday through Tuesday, I thought, no problem, look at the forecast, I can put them out under the strong sun Wednesday for several days, which should do the trick.

Ha ha.

Wednesday I woke up to bright sunshine. As I prepared to pull up the tatami, I noticed some clouds forming, and thought, never mind, a few clouds won't hurt.

By the time I got all eight tatami out onto the porch roof, the sun was obscured by a thick layer of clouds, but never mind, they were skimming along quickly.

Yes indeed, they were skimming along quickly, pulling along the really dark clouds behind them. At noon, I pulled the tatami back in off the roof just in time to avoid a shower. All afternoon, sunshine followed by rain sunshine rain sunshine rain. I put the tatami back down on the bedroom floor.

This morning was bright and sunny. The moment I thought, "Maybe I can sun the tatami," clouds gathered. Is there some message here?
An hour ago, the sun was shining merrily as the rain was pelting down gleefully. Which reminds me of the old English folk saying, "If it rains while the sun is shining, the devil is beating his wife with a leg of mutton." (no I did not make this up, I found it years ago in a Japanese book of Useful English Proverbs.) It doesn't make sense to me, which may be the point: sunshine rain doesn't make sense.

But there are compensations. Just now the full moon rose behind a limpid veil of mist. Happy中元.