I try to keep myself unsullied by ads, but sometimes they slip in on me. A Toyota ad tells me, “It will take you as far as your mind wants to go.”
That's wonderful. My mind wants to visit galaxies billions of light years away, to see the emergence of our continents from the sea eons ago, to watch the Himalayas powder into the sea. A car is going to take me there?
Do the advertisers take us for unimaginative idiots? Ok, I retract that question, the answer is too obvious.

It's been thirty years since North Viet Nam conquered the Republic of Viet Nam, but it remains to be seen who will be the final victor. Saigon is building up a vigorous economy while Hanoi remains mired in cement-brain dogma. Mark my words, some day the South will buy out the North, and it may not take too long, either.

This morning I watched five eagles soaring together over the mountains. They gather only at this time of the year. What a treat, to watch these magnificent birds circling and towering against a soft blue sky over rich green peaks.

無論支持誰，當作佈棋來分析，不得不承認，連戰大陸行這招實在漂亮。
陳水扁上國際新聞版時，除了319鬧劇外，只有夜郎自大，惹事生非。呂副總統潑婦罵街，唯恐天下不亂。台獨人士拜靖國神社，得意洋洋丟人海外。立委似乎只會打架。臺灣政壇聞名國際，如此而已，在國際輿論，唯有連戰設法解決問題(儘管這可能是陳連演黑臉白臉戲)。

明 張鼐 與姜箴勝門人
諦觀年來士大夫風尚愈趨愈下。鰓鰓惟異己者是除，私人是引。楚人為楚人出缺，秦人為秦人營遷；不論官方，不談才品。目中豈復有君父，而堪以服天下，挽世運乎?

像不像臺灣目前政壇?

若人欲了知自性，探痛究本。

It is a little known fact that Francis Scott Key was accompanied on his historic mission by his close Hispanic friend Jose, who was very short and extremely nearsighted. As he watched the bombardment of Ft McHenry, Key was concerned that his dear friend might not be able to witness the fighting, whereupon he uttered those immortal words:
Jose, can you see?

Stand back! Give me space, ladies and gentlemen, for I am about to make a contribution to the English language!
I have just finished eating one of those delicious banana + mango hybrids. As I was musing on the predicament that there is no name for them in English, inspiration struck! Bango!

While I'm at it, allow me to express my extreme dissatisfaction with the authorities at the MRT, Taipei's subway. I refer to the blue line, the 板南 Bannan Line. Anybody with the least bit of sense would know that that should be the YELLOW line. Who ever saw a blue Banana?

I mean, the fruit can be called a bango. Bango was not the sound of inspiration striking. The sound of inspiration striking is 昆陽昆陽昆陽.

On my way to the bus stop I passed three little first grade boys trying out two sets of roller blades. They had scrapes on their elbows and foreheads to attest to their progress. As I walked by, they called out, “Yugan! Where are you going?”
”To class. Do you know how to stop once you get going?”
“No.”
“Be careful, or else your parents will have to go down to the plains to find you.”
“Yugan, where are your dogs?”
“They are watching the house for me.”
“Yugan, when will you come back?”
“Tonight, after class.” I called out in English, “Be careful and have fun,” and kept going. I heard one of the boys exclaiming, “Yugan can speak English!”
“Really?”
“Yes, he just said something in English.”
They called after me, “Yugan, can you speak English?”
I said (in English), still going down to the bus “Of course, it's my native language.”
A voice drifted down, almost out of earshot ~ “I laaaaah byoooo!” Showing off his English: I love you. (don't get too sentimental. He probably has no idea what it means, beyond being English.)
Kids here know I'm different. They try to figure out why my eyes are different from anybody else in Wulai's, but they've seen me here all their lives, so they just accept that Yugan-with-the-dogs is a friend of my parents, our neighbor, a different sort of Tayal, that's all. Kids accept. It's only later that they learn to differentiate.

Golden Rule
Them that has the gold makes the rules.
~anonymous
金科玉律：金玉滿堂之家，治科定律。

一剎那三世
人生剎那剎那過。每剎那所見、所想、所決定、所選擇，含三世：過去、現在、未來。過去的經驗、習氣，決定如何面對當下、如何處理眼前事物、如何看待、如何反應。而每一剎那的處置，帶入未來，影響將來。故云，點點滴滴造成習慣，習慣造成個性，個性造成命運。
墨子說，未來不期，已過不留。
有人一生沒有活過。懵懵懂懂過日子，眼下的人生，從來沒有用心處理過。心在過去與未來中，但實際上從來沒有活過。馬馬虎虎過一生，行尸走肉，只是還有一口氣在時，沒封棺而已。

Have you ever noticed how casually smokers flick their butts on the ground wherever they are? In their hearts, to smokers our beautiful earth is nothing but an ashtray.

Somebody said, “The truly educated never graduate.”

I don't see it. The imbeciles in the Taiwan independence movement have made fools of themselves by worshipping at the Yasukuni Shrine in Tokyo, dedicated to all Japanese imperial soldiers who gave their lives in the fight against freedom, democracy, and human rights.
Have they considered how this might go over with ol' Dubya, the current president of the US? I quote from the White House biography of his father, George H W Bush, 41st President of the US.
The youngest pilot in the Navy when he received his wings, he flew 58 combat missions during World War II. On one mission over the Pacific as a torpedo bomber pilot he was shot down by Japanese antiaircraft fire and was rescued from the water by a U. S. submarine.
Do they expect that they will win points with Our Revered Leader by worshipping at the shrine of the guys who tried to kill his father? Saddam didn't even aim a gun at Dubya's daddy, and look what happened to him!

Let's Go Hiking!
I've got news for the experts, the ones who say there are 22 species of poisonous snakes in Taiwan. Make that 23. Recently someone caught a cobra in the mountains near the city (碧潭山), about two meters long, thicker than my bicep. Problem is, it wasn't our usual cobra (naja naja atra). It evidently came in from Southeast Asia in a load of logs.

God was my copilot, but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him.
~Anonymous

長久以來，我感覺到我認識的男人中，越是熱中台獨，越可能是大男人主義；說要台灣獨立，但是不准女性獨立:女人的存在，是為了要服務男人的。

台聯立委說抗戰期慰安婦是自願的、樂在其中的，這不僅是對慰安婦莫大的侮辱，而是對所有女性，甚至所有的人的人格的欺辱。我們為甚麼要忍受這種靈魂污染？民主是為了讓大官污衊我們的心靈嗎?

Thirty years ago, when discussion on the topic was forbidden, I noticed that the only people who were in favor of Taiwan independence were the landlords, the rich people who had lost their peasants when the KMT gave the land to the farmers. The landlords were reimbursed for their land, so they became wealthy, but they had lost their power, and Taiwan independence was a way for them to regain their dominance. In those days, the little guy was happy with the KMT, because he was able to buy shoes for his kids, and they had a better future ahead than toiling in the paddies and banana plantations for the landlords. The landlords never forgave the KMT, and poured money into opposition.

Since it became a hot topic, I have noticed that the more a man is in favor of independence, the more likely he is to be a male chauvinist who longs for the good old days when children obeyed their fathers and women obeyed their sons, husbands, and fathers.

During World War II, the Japanese, male chauvinists par excellence, dragged women from captive territories, mostly Korean and some from Taiwan, to serve as prostitutes for the imperial soldiers. They were euphemistically called comfort women.

Taiwan Independence leaders recently caused a furor by making a pilgrimage to worship at Japan's Yasukuni Shrine, the shrine to all Japanese soldiers who died fighting for imperialism, colonialism, fascism, aggression, and against democracy and human rights. Japan's actions during World War II were discussed. A Taiwan Independence legislator defended Japanese disregard for common decency by announcing that the comfort women from Taiwan went willingly and happily.

I rest my case.

台聯在日本靖國神社奴顏婢膝的表現，令人感覺他們真正的心願，不是臺灣獨立，而是希望臺灣又可以作為日本的殖民地、再一次享受作次等國民的滋味。

無恥。

Conversations you don't want to hear

I had errands to run near 師大/NTNU, so I stopped in the 仁X自助餐 X Cafeteria(All you Can Eat for 69NT). The lady behind the counter and a fat man (who looked a bit unbalanced) were screaming at each other.
Why don't you serve the food I want to eat?
I told you not to come back, why are you here again?
Because I want to see if you made the dishes I want!
I told you not to come back!
Her son, about 7, was walking back and forth between the tables bouncing a basketball. Her other son, just old enough to walk, was amusing himself by throwing chopsticks on the floor, which his mother patiently retrieved, as she continued her screaming match.
Regretting my choice of cafeterias, I chose a seat as far away from the counter as I could, right outside the kitchen. Between the shouting, I could hear the kitchen staff exclaiming:
Rat! Rat!
Go away, don't come over.
Hand me the lettuce.
When are you going to cook something I like to eat?
Rat! Rat!
Stay away! Stay away from me!
I don't want to see you here again!
Don't let it climb up onto the counter ~~ bang bang bang ~~ get it off the counter!
Look, there's another one.
Go away!
Just take your lunch and eat at home, don't come here anymore!
Have you washed the squash?
The rat left.
Which one?
The one that ran across the counter.
Oh, because there's still one under the sink.
Hand me the hot pepper.
Rat, rat!
What kind of food do you serve? Why don't you serve the food I like?
Is it the same one?
Just go home!
I'm not sure. Where are the tomatoes?
Rat, rat!
Another one?
Yes, look over there.
You're right.
Don't slam the door when you leave!
Why shouldn't I? Your food is all cold!
Is it still under the sink?
I told you to stay off the counter! ~~ bang bang bang ~~ Go away!

Fortunately, it is a vegetarian cafeteria, so I didn't have to worry about the ingredients of my lunch. Having paid my 69NT, I was entitled to go back for seconds, but the ambience was so overpowering that I bolted my food and bolted.

Better than April Fool's

From an article I am editing:
The American flag is sometimes called “Starts and strips.”

臺灣的可愛，不按牌理出牌。

晨晚有課，下午沒事，吃了午餐到天母，想要揩茶，茶主不在，揩不成，沿天母溪往回走。剛走過振興醫院，看到步道邊雜草中坐著一頭鋸角黃牛。居然有人在台北市養黃牛 ~~ 我猜是養在陽台上，不是養在客廳(因為如果養在客廳，會擋電視的視線)。萬一小偷闖門而入，這個比看門狗更有嚇唬效果吧。不咬人，小心牠踩你一腳就是了。

好啦，都市裡遇到黃牛，就蹲下打招呼：放牛吃草，今天下午我有認同感。我打招呼，牠不理我，繼續吃牠的草。我給牠念佛。頓時牠草不吃了，低下頭聽佛號，不多時便掉眼淚：牠聽懂了。唸了一回，又有散步的人來看都市黃牛。我默默地叮嚀牠不要再來輪迴，往下一個揩茶目標去了。

大家可以放心了，阿公阿媽上了街頭抗議反分裂法，中共一定害怕的不得了，高幹都跑回家躲到床底下，不敢出來。

昨日台北街頭上的遊行浩稱百萬人，我懷疑。我中午進台北，反方向的人潮多，來烏來的人排長龍，往市區的人沒有比平常多。聚、散一百萬人需要一段時間，但是一點多，街上人似乎沒那麼多，六點都散的差不多了。有人說三十萬人，這有可能。三十萬人，一台遊覽車擠五十個，也有六千台遊覽車。有那麼多嗎?

絕沒有一百萬人遊行，但在大陸的台商，確有一百萬人。換言之，臺灣總人口，二十個人當中就有一個在大陸工作。他們如果突然失去目前工作，臺灣經濟立斃。政客空談獨立，商族容許砸飯碗嗎?

依我目測解散的民眾，大約八、九成以上為退休年齡的人，絕大多數從中南部來。有免費的台北半日遊、有便當、還送帽子T-shirt等等，在家裡閒著也是閒著，何樂而不為? 說不定還可以上電視。

似乎從來沒有聽說過有元首參加遊行示威；陳水扁可能是第一個。遊行中，有五百個憲兵作'人牆'保護他，有狙擊手，還有機關槍，為了保障他個人安全。另外有兩萬名警察維持秩序，公帑耗費龐大，真的有這個必要嗎? 沒有人認為這個活動有任何實際功效(除了造福攤販、旗幟帽衣、遊覽車、便當業者)。或許是扁宋會惹火了極右派(台聯、獨派等)，執政者必須演這齣戲，不然李登輝他老人家會生氣。

還好沒出事。消防隊員依他們的『自由意願』參加﹝翻成白話，上司為了討好上級都參加，你還想留在家裏陪妻子兒女嗎?﹞，所幸沒有發生火災，不然誰救?愛護臺灣時，不許愛護民宅。

有很多人傳反共傳單，這非常有趣。反共的頭號代表人物，蔣中正是也。縱然反共情緒那麼的激昂，為何不提出蔣公呢？ 支吾、支吾，這個嘛，啊，啊，這個真難為情…極右派說愛臺灣，不如說是反蔣。

實際問題根本不是反共，而是李登輝想當太皇國父老爺。陳水扁縱使沒有他自己想像的聰明，但也沒有笨到認為臺灣可能獨立。拿出反共的口號，指不過是障眼法，混淆視聽，騙老百姓而已。

You can't help suspecting there’s a lot going on behind the scenes. Shortly after voters in Taiwan repudiated the Taiwan independence movement's candidates, the PRC started getting worked up about their Anti-Secession Act. Can they be that stupid? I wonder.

Response to the Anti-Secession Act in Taiwan has been vocal and highly publicized. Several college students fearlessly pricked their thumbs with pins to squeeze out enough blood to sign their names in protest. Tactless reporters' awkward questions revealed that the students didn't really know what the Act is about, but They Love Taiwan (in Taiwan's current political climate, all asinine schemes, idiotic decisions, and half-wit plans are wildly applauded if they are presented under the banner of We Love Taiwan).

To protest the Act, a march was called, although I cannot figure out what good it was supposed to do. Maybe they thought that if they snarl up traffic in Taipei, the leaders in Beijing would tell their billion people, "We've decided we don't want to recover Taiwan after all.”

The planners of the march called for a million people, but I would guess the actual number of marchers was nowhere near even half that. I had to teach downtown, near the President's Office where the marchers converged: my class coincided with the march. The subway in to the city had no more people than it usually does at that time; rather, there were hordes of people leaving the city to enjoy a sunny day in a rainy spring. Long lines waited for the bus to Wulai. Attendance in my classes were normal, both during and after the march. None of our students were passing out leaflets or showed any sign of interest in the march. Embarrassment would be the word.

The president joined the march, protected by a human wall of five hundred military police, snipers, and machine gunners. (I have never heard of any president joining a protest march, but that's one of the things I love about Taiwan: things don't happen according to ordinary logic.) Most of the marchers were retired folk, bussed in from the countryside for the afternoon. They got free rides to Taipei in comfortable air conditioned buses, boxed lunches, hats, and other paraphernalia. There were very few young or middle aged people. A friend on the route of the march saw a total of two (2) foreigners. The whole affair was a pointless waste of tax money, staged for the far right, the overseas Taiwan independence people who love Taiwan from Houston, Diamond Bar, and Oklahoma City. Fortunately, after the march it took only about an hour for the marchers’ buses to clear out of Taipei (another clue that indicates to me that there were nowhere near the million marchers the government claims), so we didn't suffer much. Just our dignity.

Did you march in the parade?
戰國策 (燕一)
善為事者，先量其國之大小，而揆其兵之強弱，故功可成而名可立也。不能為事者，不先量其國之大小，不揆其兵之強弱，故功不可成而名不可立也。

Today is 花朝節
古人以二月十二日為 花朝節 即百花的生日
This is a nice tradition that is worth reviving.

This was written by Lloyd Chen 陳洛沂; thanks for permitting me to post this.
之一
台灣首富郭台銘的夫人乳癌去世, 才 55 歲.
郭老闆壓力絕對比郭夫人大吧...? 沒得解釋. 醫學還有太多無施力處...
唉, 郭老闆身價快一千億, 再多的財富, 也無法救他老婆一命.
我想, 若能用一兩百億換他夫人一命, 他會毫不考慮.

人生真奇怪, 奇怪的來, 莫名其妙的走.
來去都不是我們能決定.

我們也只能好好感受當下,
在開幕與謝幕間, 希望演出精彩.

之二
報載因為郭老闆之故, 台大醫院「破例」為郭夫人組一個跨醫院的醫療團隊. 錢不是問題.
........
只是感慨, 若非900 億的財富, 如何突顯出生命的美麗與哀愁...?
每天不知有多少人英年早逝? 又有誰關心過...
強烈的諷刺與冰冷的警醒.
忽然覺得時間是很寶貴、很寶貴的...
過客般的人生, 生命的脆弱與無常, 讓人不禁仰天長笑(嘯)!
哈哈

With great pride and pleasure I announce that I have secured from Zona permission to release, for the first time ever, the results of her momentous textual study of Hamlet. Meticulous textual research and painstaking examination with X-ray, infrared, ultraviolet, CAT, and MP3 imaging have revealed the truth behind Hamlet's famous soliloquy. It appears that in Shakespeare's original version, Hamlet's well-known vacillation and indecisiveness were caused mainly by a weak bladder (toilet humor being highly appreciated by the down-to-earth Elizabethans). At the time of this noted speech, Hamlet had been sharing beers with Polonius and Horatio, but the urinal was locked. Hamlet came to a dark wall in a deserted corner of the castle and uttered those famous, but later misinterpreted lines:
To pee or not to pee, that is the question;
Whether 'tis nobler in mind to suffer
The stinks and airs of outrageous fart-tune ~~~~

Showdown
Wakes are very important to the Tayal. They are a time to get together, to mourn, chat, air grievances, make suggestions, affirm and negotiate bonds, socialize, work out problems, and build solidarity.

Saturday night was cold, near freezing when I got back to Wulai not long before midnight. There was a wake in progress. I joined a group of men sitting around a fire. I sat on a log and held my palms to the fire. Across the fire was Y, about 30, pretty well drunk. D came and sat on a chair behind me. D is about 45, rumored to have underworld connections. Both men are strong and tough.
Y called out D's name. D looked at him mildly. Y roared out his name again. D said, “Hello Y.”
Y hollered, "D! Do you know what you are?" D looked at him across the fire. "D! I'll tell you! You are a drunkard! That's what you are, you are a drunkard!" Everybody around the fire quieted down.
D stayed in his seat, but his tone was ominous. "What did you call me?"
"I called you a DRUNKARD!”
"Say that again! You say that again!" D's voice was rising. Everybody else was silent. The only other sound was the fire.
"You say one more sentence, Y, and you see what happens!" Y was defiant but kept his mouth shut.
"You say ONE MORE SENTENCE, Y, you just say ONE MORE SENTENCE! You know what will happen if you call me a drunkard?” D paused dramatically, and said,
"I'll go home and get drunk."

這個年代的好處是，大官玩的，百姓也可以玩的。當然，條件不一樣；除非練拳，就沒有像立委有那麼多機會拳打腳踢，道館裡不准甩杯子。但是原則上，州官可以放火，現代民主老百姓也可以放火，平等平等。

因此，我最近在想，大官想宣布獨立當國父，那麼我由紺又何不宣布獨立、當起國父呢? 臺灣，把它當『國家』已經小的可憐，我就把我家這塊地當成『斌司各弩司人民專制獨立永遠歡樂大國』，以突顯臺灣之大(相對的)。我身兼數職；國父、偉大領袖、終生絕對獨裁、國民、工友。忠臣Tlahuy當宰相、國防部長，Yumin任新聞局長。其他如下；
本國國號:斌司各弩司人民專制獨立永遠歡樂大國：The Great Independent People's Eternally Happy Dictatorship of Pinsknus
本國國民: 46億口；一人、二狗、許多田鼠鼴鼠尖鼠、若干冬眠蛇、數百甲蟲、幾千蚊子與孓孑、多萬蚯蚓，其餘為微生物。以上為定居戶；流動戶為鳥、蝴蝶、松鼠、飛屬、蝙蝠、螃蟹、烏龜等。
本國國旗：等邊七角形，各角外掛月桃包的紅糯米飯糰；旗面為紅、綠、紫直條文，上有藍、黃斑點；中間畫有標準形宜興紫砂茶壺一把，壺內有青餅普洱茶。以上為秋冬國旗。春夏國旗是圓面金色，上題四紅字: 招財進寶。國軍旌旗；長方形白色，無圖。
本國官方語言:泰雅語、國語、英語、塞爾維亞語，但尊重一切境內國民的語言， 只要不超出泰雅語、國語、英語、塞爾維亞語之外。嚴禁Tamil語。
本國國歌:對欣然服從偉大領袖。
曲: 同 “祝你生日快樂”
詞:　我服從領袖、
絕對服從領袖、
欣然服從領袖、
我服從領袖！
本國面積:　207坪。
本國地理位置:國防秘密，不可洩漏。
本國史地：本國原屬亞熱帶雨林，原始國民為kuy, mku, kumay, batung, batung naxut, yabic, qniq (sibekay, tkrat, byahoq, sliq, kaweh, zyut, gwari), bagun, bisu, ngarux, bzoq, mit, bara等。後經泰雅前輩墾為梯田，有水牛。後廢耕，值本 國父來居住， kneiring laga, talah la, 于甲申年冬至獨立為斌司各弩司人民專制獨立永遠歡樂大國,一切諸天大眾、天龍八部、人非人等歡喜踴躍，天女散花。
本國交通、郵政、貨幣：本國沒有交通、郵政、貨幣。
本國法律：目前只有兩條：第一；絕對服從偉大的領袖（國父&工友）。第二，唱卡拉ok判唯一死刑。　

如何？　煞有其事吧！經美國Pentagon國防部war game專司的模擬，如果斌司各弩司宣布獨立的話，中華民國海軍陸戰隊與中華人民共合國人民解放軍將聯手用武力收復國土，但因為斌司各弩司國土太小，位置又是秘密，連gps也找不到，到最後胡錦濤與陳水扁因為打不過，只好投降，俯首稱臣….. 算了，跟那些政治人物搞在一起，謝了，我由紺才不幹!! 我看，不要獨立好了，還是過著清閒悠哉的日子比較好。　

唯一的問題是，已經訂好的國旗，該怎麼處理?

YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND
I wrote this in 1984.
He didn't realize what he was buying, just as the store owner didn't realize what he was selling. By an incredible stroke of luck, Frank, the infinite skeptic, while poking through a small Iraqi junk store, bought Aladdin's original lamp.

He found out, though, at the hotel that evening, when he polished the lantern. A huge, rolling billow of smoke poured out of the lantern. A genie attired in green turban, red vest, and yellow silk pants stepped out of the clouds and bowed to the awestruck Frank.

"I am the genie of the lantern," the genie rumbled. “Tell me what you desire. Your wish is my command."

Frank, dumbfounded, found his tongue at last. He whispered, "Well, I'll be damned!”

Poof.

恍然beagle者
悟了! 為甚麼Yumin那麼愛亂跑? 當然部分是因為他是純種皮狗，但我終於了悟了，他的名子也有關係。 Yumin是泰雅名，是紀念乾爸Dali Watan的叔叔，大獵人Yumin而取的，字是茄苳的意思，很多泰雅取這個名子。
可是Yumin用漢人口音，音偕『遊民』…. 難怪!!!

起碼，沒甚麼業障吧

Does the administration take us for fools?

Last year's presidential race between the incumbent Chen-Lu ticket versus Lien-Sung was closely contested and highly suspicious. An intensifying scandal threatened to give the election to Lien-Sung. The day before the election, a ludicrous assassination attempt brought in sympathy votes. Chen and Lu were standing in the back of a jeep; a bullet allegedly entered through the windshield, although the security agent in the front seat did not notice it; the bullet scratched Chen's stomach lightly, hit Lu in the knee, and rebounded into Chen's suit pocket (I forget the details: not worth remembering), and it all happened so suddenly they didn't even realize they had been shot until Chen noticed blood (or ketchup) on his shirt. Tell me you've been shot in the knee and you don't even notice.

The armed forces by and large back Lien-Sung; an alert on election day confined men to their bases, nullifying their votes. There was a suspiciously high number of invalidated ballots, something like ten times the normal rate. Chen and Lu won the election by 28,000 votes (the population of Taiwan is about 23 million). There were many other irregularities. People demanded explanations.

The administration now has announced that they have found the shooter, a year after the event. They claim the assassination attempt was the work of a certain man who committed suicide by drowning, and confessed all in a suicide note which his family burned, so sorry, you can't see that either.

Unfortunately, the family of the deceased has denied the government's allegations. They claim that the man committed suicide because of mounting debts, and that he had nothing to do with the so-called assassination attempt. The administration wants the family to apologize.

But oh yes, we believe you! We believe you! Just like we believe bullets can do fancy gymnastics and end up in your pocket. We believe because we know how much the administration cares for us and extends a helping hand to the poor and the disadvantaged, just like after last year's landslides when they insulted the victims.

There are few lepers in Taiwan, but there are some. For decades their community has been sheltered in a sanatorium in a suburb of Taipei. The Subway is spreading out there, and wants that land for a terminal, so the administration plans to knock down the sanatorium, scatter the lepers, and put them in hospitals around Taiwan. The lepers say they do not need hospitals, they need fresh air and freedom from exertion to keep their health. They have begged the administration to let them stay together, to keep their community whole, but point out that they have difficulty supporting themselves: if possible, they would prefer to stay where they are, since their sanatorium is a historical building. Enter Vice President Lu Hsiu-Lien, that soul of sympathy and concern for the disadvantaged. They pled with her, and she responded, "What makes you think you can afford to reimburse us for the subway?"

Nothing like a little sympathy for the unfortunate. But that's only a couple dozen votes, so who cares?

At least they don't call it compassionate conservatism.

Did you know? One third of the world's saxophones are made in Taiwan. President Clinton has a custom saxophone handmade in Taiwan, and on his recent visit, he was presented with another, specially inscribed with a quote from Dr Martin Luther King.

And the saxophone said, Waa waaa waaahhhh ~~~~

This is what I call real literature, probing the innermost recesses of the soul, seeking the ultimate truth of human existence: from Riptide, by Catherine Coulter:

The sheriff left after an hour, a chocolate chip cookie in his hand. Adam knew it was chocolate chip. He could smell the chocolate from twenty yards and was salivating.

Author! Author!

聽天由命
If the last weeks of rain have not moistened the soil sufficiently, it will never be moist. With that thought in mind, I placed various wildflower seeds I had collected in a bowl, and, pondering where to scatter them, headed for the front gate.

I proved the validity of my constant warning to guests, to watch out for the second step down, that it may be slippery when it is wet. My feet shot out from underneath me so briskly that I was carried free of the steps and plummeted down the side. Fortunately, it is only a couple meters, and fortunately, the bowl did not get cracked, but when I stopped, I discovered that the question of where to sow the wildflower seeds had been resolved.

If all goes well, before long I will have a streak of wildflowers growing below the steps.

十分無聊
來母、泥母、娘母字(換言之，ㄌ、ㄋ開頭的字)有一個奇怪的特點：可以接各種介音、尾音. 例如，ㄇ可以接ㄢ、一ㄢ、ㄡ、一ㄡ (慢、面、某、謬), 但國字沒有ㄇㄩ音；ㄈ可接ㄢ但不能接一ㄢ等等：其實，國語音很有限。只有來母、泥母、娘母甚麼都可以接:哪、訥、乃、內、腦、耨、南、嫩、囊、能、倪、捏、鳥、牛、年、您、娘、寧、奴、娜、農、女、虐；拉、樂、來、雷、勞、樓、嵐、郎、冷、裡、倆、列、撩、留、連、林、梁、零、爐、羅、巒、倫、隆、閭、略、淋、攣。　
夠無聊吧　
但是為甚唯獨來母、泥母、娘母變化那麼多呢？

惠澂 came today, to give me five 紅豆杉fir saplings. He has dozens. I planted some last year, gave some to friends, and wanted more, so today he brought me five more. I planted three as soon as he left. At least it was only drizzling by then.

The other two firs I am holding for Qalux, who wants to plant them by his new house, but as he has not even begun construction, I decided to put them in larger pots for the time being. To top off the pots, I went to the irrigation ditch to dredge up some sludge. In the ditch I found a nice large turtle. Its shell is somewhat larger than a sheet of A4 paper. I was holding it and admiring its healthy, shiny shell, bright eyes, and red neck markings, when Yumin pranced over to see what I was up to. I held the turtle to him so he could have a look, too. He was puzzled. Then the turtle, from inside its shell, opened its mouth. You could practically hear Yumin exclaim "Gadzooks! It lives and breathes!" He was astonished, and went into his unknown-prey mode, which attracted Tlahuy. I soothed the turtle and lightly placed it back in the water. Tlahuy and Yumin watched in puzzlement. Yumin seemed to be telling Tlahuy, "No, it's not a rock, it opened its mouth, really!"

Sigh
明 李流芳 遊虎丘小記
虎丘，中秋遊者尤盛。士女傾城而往，笙歌笑語，填山沸林，終夜不絕，遂使虎丘化為酒場，穢雜可恨。予初十日到郡，連夜遊虎丘，月色甚美，遊人尚稀，風亭月榭間，以紅粉笙歌一兩隊點綴，亦復不惡，然終不若山空人靜，獨往會心。

對手
一個小女生家裏吃蛋糕。吃完蛋糕的時候，媽媽把買蛋糕附送的塑膠刀丟進垃圾桶，叫小女生拿去丟掉。等垃圾車的時候，小女生發現了那把刀，她從來沒看過那麼利的刀子，就偷偷地留起來了，當作利器。巷口有一棵茁壯的九芎，小女生聽過爸爸說九芎的木頭很硬。她拿著她的塑膠刀對九芎說，”這個很利，你害怕了吧!”

beagle days
Intuition develops. Without knowing why, I suddenly walked over to the back door and looked out onto the back porch. Yumin was very quietly pulling the hose out of the bucket I keep full of water for them to drink. “YUMIN!” I shouted. He flinched so heartily that his ears flew up. Without looking back at me, he dropped the hose and very softly, very deliberately walked about two meters away from the bucket, where he sat down primly, still not looking at me. He sat for a moment, and then spotted an imaginary intruder. He leapt to his feet, and barking and howling, charged off into the bamboo.

This is a true story. I have not invented a word of this.

In the early 80s, two wives in a small village in Hualien, on the eastern coast of Taiwan, were pregnant at the same time. The couples were such good friends that, following an ancient Chinese tradition, the parents 指腹為婚 agreed that if they had one boy and one girl, they would marry each other. Sure enough, in 1982 a boy, Chan, and a girl, Wenhui were born, and raised with the expectations that one day they would get married.

In 1986, when the children were about 4, an earthquake of such power struck Hualien that the village was buried. Chan threw himself on top of Wenhui to protect her, but rescuers dug out both unconscious and severely wounded, but still alive. Chan was sent down the coast to a hospital in Taitung; Wenhui's injuries were more serious, so she was sent to Taipei.

When Chan regained consciousness, the nurse told him that the entire village had been destroyed, including his parents: he was the only survivor. He was adopted by new parents, given a new name, and began life again. He didn't believe he was the only survivor. He felt, deep in his bones, that Wenhui was still alive. He had no way to find her. When he entered high school, he searched the lists of new high school students in Hualien, but did not see Wenhui's name.

When Wenhui regained consciousness, the nurse told her that the entire village had been destroyed: she was the only survivor, but fortunately her parents had been away, on the other side of Taiwan. The lucky family was reunited. They began life again, but stayed in Taipei, where Wenhui went to high school.

During the eleventh grade, both Chan and Wenhui chose to attend the same summer camp, because of its theme of herbal medicine. Eight hundred high school students were in the camp, so they were divided into groups of eight. Chan and Wenhui were in the same group. They hit it off immediately, even before they knew each other's names. Wenhui is a pretty common name, so Chan wasn't sure if it was his Wenhui. With his new name, Wenhui did not recognize Chan.

A skit was planned, in which Chan and Wenhui were chosen to perform as boyfriend and girlfriend. During the rehearsal, the girlfriend was supposed to tie an apron on her boyfriend, so Wenhui tied Chan's apron on, with the exact some movement and tie she had used when they had gone to kindergarten together. Chan knew immediately that, beyond a doubt, this was his Wenhui, so he said, "Wenhui, don't you recognize me?" Violins and roses, and they have been together ever since, through college and beyond.

For Valentine's Day, Chan gave Wenhui a yellow rock. When they were three, Wenhui had plucked it from the stream and given it to Chan. He has treasured it ever since.

問: 檳榔西施英文怎麼說?
答: 美國連檳榔都沒有，哪有檳榔西施？如果一定要翻，可以翻成betel beauty 吧.
問：Betel beauty？太抬舉。
答：那麼betel beetle 如何？

學佛的美國人不多，所以時常有人鼓勵我開『佛學英語』課。對這種建議，一直存疑。

何謂佛學英語?中翻英，最令譯者死不暝目，莫過於佛書。東西觀念差異之大，是一個問題。佛法基于「緣起性空」；其中只有「起」字勉強可以翻譯成英文。加上佛法眾多名相是梵音，從「南無」到「阿耨多羅三藐三菩提」，如何翻成「英文」？

講這些的前提是，上佛學英文的學子，英文已經流俐，說聽寫讀能力已到美國大學程度。既然如此，還是很吃力。若要加強語文能力，學外文不如把中文學的透徹一點（透徹、徹悟，不是「水清」的澈）。佛經的中文很深，夠你去研究。不要說研究，字音正確就很好了。我們最常念的彌陀經，從頭到尾念對的佛子並不多。

問題很多。有人受內地口音影響，把般若的若念ㄖㄟˇ，因為來台法師，有的不會念ㄖㄜˇ（車、蛇念ㄔㄟ、ㄕㄟˊ）。
很多佛弟子該破音時不破，不必變音時很刻意變。解字，廣韻蟹韻，胡買切、曉也；同韻又佳買切、講也說也脫也散也（又出卦韻古隘切除也、同韻胡懈切曲解）。依此，解脫的解念ㄐ一ㄝˇ才對，但很多佛弟子很用心念錯，讀ㄒ一ㄝˋ。何必？
（案：字書韻書不詳處，可訪民語。各方言將了解的解讀g見母，無hㄒ例）

該區別就不區別。供養的養讀三聲、四聲，差很多。論語為政:子游問孝，子曰，今之孝者是謂能養(一ㄤˋ)，至於犬馬，皆能有養(一ㄤˇ)，不敬，何以別乎? 廣韻養韻(上聲)，餘兩切，育也樂也飾也。又漾韻(去聲)，餘亮切，供養。晚輩奉養長輩的養應讀四聲，養畜生的養才讀三聲。很多人偏念ㄒ一ㄝˋ脫、供一ㄤˇ。

土，他魯切，ㄊㄨˇ，夠簡單吧，但也有人硬念ㄉㄨˇ。也許是依據土的另一音；廣韻姥韻、徒古切、土田地主也、本音吐。(此反切幾不見經傳)。第一，徒古切音ㄉㄨˋ，不是ㄉㄨˇ(徒，定扭，全濁)。第二，很明顯本音ㄊㄨˇ，不須牽強讀癖音。第三，把『地主』音用於淨土、佛土，十分不妥。
為甚麼那麼用心念錯呢?可能是未了標誌內行、與眾不同、得到他人不及的祕傳。可能吧。用心念錯不如用心修行。

這是華語問題，至於英語呢，如果一般英語還不熟，何必強求『佛學英語』?

佛重心法。拈花微笑時，釋迦說哪一種語言?在美國弘法多年的宣化上人，英文不大會，洋弟子一群一群來。不是為了他的語文能力，而是因為他有修行。眾人自然服膺威德。

但由此可看出台灣佛教界的一個問題:一頭熱。很多佛子太熱心，有甚麼就抓甚麼，不深思熟慮。你會開車好發個心幫師父開車，你會煮飯好發個心幫師父煮飯，你會雕刻好發個心我們開個佛像雕刻班，你會做麵包好發個心我們開個佛教麵包班。

熱心、發心固然好，但重點還是那個『心』字。一切起心動念觀察的清清楚楚才要緊。太投入外在活動往往是逃避內在乾坤。加上，佛法畢竟不是我執重的宗教，我們不強迫世人接受我們的教義，我們不必向全世界的人佈道說，只有我們對，其他人都錯。佛度有緣人。

更何況，你學英語渡誰？你以為西洋人有那麼好渡嗎?宣化上人的經驗談是:
＂登天難　也不難
教公雞生蛋　也不難
教美國人學佛法　真是難！＂
憑你幾句英文，一點修行，就能弘法？連釋迦在這裡傳此難信之法，是為甚難！不如實實在在地修行，一旦有成就，弟子自己上門，不勞你學英文，也不勞我開班。

一個便秘的人，你不能說他沒有東西，因為他確實滿滿的；不能說他沒內涵，因為他裡面真的很充實。問題是，裡面的東西…..

You learn something every day.

I have a friend named Tohuy. I had thought that was a variation of thuy, fat, but it turns out that the Tayal name Tohuy comes from the Chinese 土匪 tufei, bandit.

Well, if you don't want to name your son Bandit, you could always name him after my neighbor Putaq. Putaq means vomit, barf.

No, I don't know why his parents named him that, but it's a pretty common name.

It's finally here

Happy new year to one and all!

Why did the chicken cross the road?
到彼岸. 阿彌陀佛.

Thank heavens, the Monkey year is just about over.
I decided to spice lunch with the seeds of a flower that has bloomed, a fifteen minute walk through the jungle. I stuffed a plastic bag in my pocket, strapped on my laraw (番刀, headhunting knife), and headed out. Tlahuy rushed over as soon as I opened the door, but Yumin was making mischief in parts unknown. Shortly before we reached the flowers, Tlahuy suddenly tensed. His hackles rose and he growled at a thicket. I didn't see anything, but walked by very gingerly. I gathered my seeds and started home. We passed that thicket without incident, but twenty paces on, he suddenly started staring intently uphill. Now, there had been a dog or something, Tlahuy would have been on him immediately, but Tlahuy just stared uphill, his whole body tense. I noticed that the shrubbery had been pressed down by something large and heavy. As I stood there looking, something large and heavy moved in the bushes above us. I didn't see it clearly, but it was a boar, about the size of a golden retriever, which means it would weigh at least as much as me. It moved and sank deeper into the bushes, avoiding confrontation. What amuses me about the incident is how my laraw leapt into my hand the moment it moved. The scabbard is tight, to keep the knife from falling out in our rough terrain, but that laraw was ready in a nanosecond. I looked at my laraw with a puzzled smile ~ how did this get here?~, apologized to the boar, and turned homeward.

At breakfast, a woman asked her husband, “I suppose you know what day it is?” Her husband cringed internally, but told his wife, “Of course I know what day it is," thinking, omidog, I forgot our anniversary again! On his lunch break, he ordered flowers, chocolate, and a beautiful blouse to be sent to home immediately.
When he got home, his wife said, "Oh my, thank you for the gifts! Those make this the most memorable Groundhog's Day ever!”

And a happy one to you, too.

捷運上，一個三十幾歲的男的坐我旁邊，看起來是外勞，越南人吧。一坐下來就從外套口袋裡拿出一份用舊報紙包的東西，小心地打開，拿出了一張照片，一個穿ao dai (越南禮服)的婦女與兩個幼小的孩子，一站，兩站，到第三站才把照片放回舊報紙，收到口袋裡了。
要過年了。

I support the eradication of terrorism.
Too bad President Bush doesn't.

I endeavor fruitlessly to make sense of an article from the January 26, 2005 Orange County (CA) Register: "Police Officers dress up as a hippie and a hare to bring crosswalk safety to motorists' attention in Laguna Beach." The photo shows a car encroaching upon a crosswalk, across which are strolling jauntily, on the left, a person dressed in a black cowboy hat with a zebra band, a purple coat with a lime shirt peeking out beneath, tight black toreador pants, and expensive running shoes, and accompanied on the right by a tall, erect, bipedal white rabbit wearing a red ribbon around its neck, and expensive running shoes (bipedal, so only the pair). I bet Alcoholics Anonymous membership went way up when that pair hit the street.

Since when did Salvador Dali become Laguna Beach Police advisor? How are the hippie and the hare supposed to make motorists aware of crosswalk safety? Is that a hippie? I never saw a hippie dressed like that. I thought hippies wore bellbottoms, not tight pants that reached halfway down the calf.
How can motorists tell that is supposed to be a hippie? If they cannot tell, will their attention be drawn to crosswalk safety?
Some of those fundamentalists in Orange County would probably step on the gas if they knew that was a hippie.

If I saw a six foot tall rabbit walking erect across a crosswalk, wearing track shoes and a red ribbon around its neck, I wouldn't become aware of crosswalk safety, I'd run over it (maybe back over it a couple times to make sure I had done a good job) and rush straight to my doctor to have my medication changed. And I don't even take any medication!
Maybe it would be better to rush to the police station and change the chief's medication.

But the question which is keeping me awake at nights is, What do they signify? Why a rabbit and a hippie? How does that combination connote crosswalk safety? Why not a hippie and a pooh-bear? A hippie and a giant walking popsicle? Look at Scout: being dressed as a ham didn't make her any safer at all, not a bit! Do you think drivers could be made aware of crosswalk safety by police officers dressed as, say, a cowboy in paisley chaps walking with a slightly cooked turnip? Or have the authorities, in their infinite wisdom, discerned that crosswalk safety can be inculcated most effectively by a misdressed hippie and a monstrous rabbit?

This is the kind of perspicacity that makes us all confident that we will win the war on terrorism! All we have to do is dress our warfighters as perhaps a hedgehog and a tailor and parade them in front of the bad guys, whereupon they will see the error of their ways and embrace democracy, motherhood, and apple pies.

Questions for an atheist
1. Do you accept that there are other forms of life besides human beings? For example, dogs, mosquitoes, deer, leeches, turtles, dolphins.
If your answer is yes, please proceed to Question 2.
If your answer is no, please proceed no further. Get your head out of the sand.

2. Do you accept that a leech or a mosquito, for example, would find it very difficult to understand human beings?
Explanation: I suppose that to a mosquito, a human being would live for an incomprehensibly long time; a mosquito would have no understanding of what I am doing here tapping out words on a computer, or how the computer operates. By the same token, we may not understand much about mosquitoes’ lives.
If your answer is yes, please proceed to Question 3.
If your answer is no, please proceed no further.

3. Do you accept that an earthworm living inside a flowerpot by your front door may be totally unaware of the existence of humanity?
Digression: I suppose that earthworm does not know much about the politics, wars, or empires we find so compelling. Suppose an earthworm were killed by a bomb during an air raid; what comprehension would it have about the cause of its death?

If your answer is yes, please proceed to Question 4.
If your answer is no, please proceed no further.

4. Do you believe that you are aware of all of the life forms in the entire universe?
If your answer is yes, please proceed no further.
If your answer is no, please proceed to Question 5.

5. Please tell me what a god is.
Do you agree with this supposition?
Supposition: what we call a god is a being with an incomprehensibly long life time, who understands things we cannot comprehend, and may be capable of feats beyond our understanding.
Consider: I touch a switch on the wall and light appears overhead; I pick up a wireless phone and talk with someone across the ocean; I wrap a sandwich in a transparent plastic bag and put it in the refrigerator. To a human being living in London three hundred years ago, such feats would have been incomprehensible.
If you agree with this supposition, with or without reservations, please go on to question 6.
If you do not agree with this supposition, please tell me what a god is.

6. Is it possible that somewhere in the universe, there are beings which live incomprehensibly longer than we do, and are capable of feats beyond our understanding?
Consider: Our sun, an average sized star, is a million times larger than our earth. There are a trillion stars in our galaxy, and there are billions of galaxies in the universe. What are the chances that only this minuscule speck we call earth harbors life?
Consider: Is it possible that such beings could exist near us, but in such a different mode of existence that we are no more capable of understanding them than an earthworm in a flowerpot of understanding computer software?
Digression: When I take my dogs for a walk, our experiences are totally different. We see, hear, smell, and feel different things. I may see a red car go by and note that Qoyaw is heading downtown with Mkuang; my dogs will not. They will note scents, sounds, electromagnetic fields, and who knows what else, that are imperceptible and incomprehensible to me. We walk together in different worlds.

If your answer is yes, qualified or unqualified, please go to question 7.
If your answer is no, please proceed no further.

7. For lack of understanding, could those beings be called gods?

If you still cannot accept the existence of gods, why not?

What I don't understand are the people who make a point of proclaiming their atheism. They are no different from people who make a big fuss that their god is the only god and demand we worship it.

Why do some atheists make such an issue about it? Are you the type to go to kindergartens to preach that Santa Claus does not exist? If it makes them happy, good enough. If Jesus or Allah or Vishnu or Spiderman make someone happy at their level, good enough for the time being. Better than people who insist that others accept atheism. If atheism defines your life, you are still placing gods at the center of your life. The existence or nonexistence of gods is central to you.
The lady protests too much, methinks.

I am not promoting the existence of any particular god. I simply suggest that there exist beings who, for lack of understanding, we call gods. I do not worship an Olympic gold medalist, even though I have never won a gold medal; I do not worship someone with a higher academic degree than me; I do not worship gods, but I do not deny their existence. They're there. Live with it. No big deal, one way or the other.

Pesky little Yumin usually runs wild. The day I buried Bengax, he spent practically the whole afternoon sitting by her grave, watching over it. Since then, he has spent a lot of time sitting there by her.

Tlahuy and Bengax were born in the same litter, and have been together ever since, so he is having some trouble adjusting, but he is better now. Some squirrels have helped him take his mind off things.

From time to time during the last couple months, I had noticed that Bengax was gazing at me with a very strange look in her eyes, not at all like a dog's eyes. I wondered what she was thinking. Maybe about mortality?

She may have known that she would not be with us long. She always craved attention, and could never get enough affection. Fortunately, even before Ping gave Tlahuy and Bengax to me when they were two months old, I was keenly aware that people live longer than dogs, so this day would come sooner or later. With that in mind, every day I try to make sure my dogs know I love them, and I want them to be happy (this could have something to do with why they are so spoiled). At least I can look at my five years with Bengax with no regrets, knowing that she was a happy dog.

In her short, furry life, Bengax made a lot of friends. A number of people have phoned to blubber, which is as nice a tribute as you could ask.

Amitabha.

Bengax, good girl
Early this morning, Bengax snuck into a neighbor's vegetable patch. On her way out, her collar snagged, she panicked, and strangled herself.

By the time the neighbors found her and called me, she was already cold and stiff.

I buried her out back, by the doghouse.

She came on January 30, 1999, when she was about two months old.

Amitabha. Good girl.

a true story
爸爸常帶小平遊山玩水。生性聰穎好奇的小平每次問爸爸，"這是甚麼樹?那是甚麼花?”爸爸就照實說，"不知道。”對小平而言，爸爸的話，信如聖旨，只是在她幼小心靈中，總覺得很神奇，有那麼多種長的不太像的樹，一樣都叫做"不知道。"

小平漸漸大了，唸小學了，交了很多新朋友。有一日與同學在戶外，同學指一棵樹說，"那棵樹很漂亮，是甚麼樹?”
小平很興奮，因為她問過爸爸，就說，"我知道!”
“那麼是甚麼樹?”
“'不知道。'” 小平得意地回答。
“不知道?”
“對!”
“可是妳剛說你知道。”
"對呀，我當然知道，我問過我爸爸!”
"好，那你說這是甚麼樹?”
“'不知道。'”
"小平討厭，妳告訴我嘛!”
“我告訴你，就是“'不知道!'”
“為甚麼?”
“爸爸說的!”
“妳爸爸說甚麼?”
“'不知道。'”
同學快瘋了，罵小平是大笨蛋，就跑走了。小平被罵，哭涕涕地回家，沒想到回家述苦，爸媽沒有安慰，反而捧腹大笑。…..

Last night it was cold, 4C in Wulai. I extolled the virtues of a blanket warmer (烘被機)in an e-letter to my sister, saying that the blanket warmer is probably the greatest invention ever to come from Japan. You get this box about the size of a printer. You attach the hose to this big bag which you cover with blankets, and the box blows hot air into the bag, thereby drying and warming the blankets. It is perfect for a cold night; you can dive into a warm nest of blankets without having to shiver until you heat them up.

Her reply: “In fact, now that you mention it, the big bag of hot air that warms the blankets, I think I was married to one of them..."

Pongan ku kahul yawei.... Raran ga, mwah qutux cyakun, talakay hobaq cyakun gasa, mita Uray~~~
“我聽老人家說，很久以前，有一隻巨大的烏鴉從北邊來，飛呀飛，飛到Uray看到溪上冒煙。其實，那是溫泉水從地上湧出來冒煙，但是烏鴉不知道，以為一定是有人炊爨的煙，有煙有住家，一定有人丟的剩菜垃圾可以撿來吃，甚至於巨烏想，還可以吃人! 沒想到，飛到溪上看，只有溪水冒煙，沒有東西吃。巨烏很失望，只好折回去。往北飛，飛到Tampya，就下了一顆蛋，就飛走了…你不相信的話，可以去看牠的蛋，喔，現在不行，牠的蛋就是忠治公園隆起的巃崗，去年政府把它剷平了。反正就是這樣，所以漢人把我們的地方叫做『烏來』。”

+ 我覺得很妙，這故事顯然就是今族望文生義而編的，來湊合一個解釋說明『烏來』的意思。事實上，『烏來』是泰雅語Uray的譯音罷了。Uray是溫泉的意思。

一位優秀的國小老師寫的:　
Recently I was mad about the Education Bureau. It alerted all teachers that we have to study 台語 during winter vacation. The course takes five days, total 30 hours.
Why should all teachers attend the course? ridiculous

教育改革一直說要尊重每一個孩子,要適性化教學. 天下雜誌 最近也不停的討論 未來的教育要更國際觀.
我不懂為什麼一定要我去學台語.
認識鄉土、認識我們的土地、培養我們的家鄉情懷 ，方式有很多 ，不應該被窄化成台語。

世界一直在變； 教育高喊要教師樣跟上時代潮流，培養學生競爭力，要有國際觀，但是 當局又用這麼制式 硬性規定我們教師。
整天在講 教育要多元化，提共更多的機會給學生 在嚐試中認識自己 發現自己，但是 又是這麼對待我們這些老師的呢？ 課程可以開，甚至可以開更多的語言學習。為什麼一定要學台語 ？

寧願去外面花錢補習上英文 也不想留在學校上台語。

我想會不會是政黨的關係？
九年一貫可課程實施後，國數 節數已不足。每週又硬擠一天台語課，我不懂。
台語充斥在生活環境。即使不會的人，也可以琅琅上口幾句。
為什麼 會變成正式課程之一？

我不懂它的意義。 我真的不懂。
如果一個老師 不了解課程的教育目標，或是課程的意義，沒有了方向，他要如何帶領學生前進？　
這一件很悲傷的事情。
更令人難過的事 連教育都泛政治化。
而所有的老師 卻在不自覺中 ，被某種意識形態 控制而不自知。


身為一個老師，已經跟教書匠，沒什麼兩樣。
教育 不過是一種政治思想的灌輸罷了，而不是去接近真理、認識世界。
教育 讓人越來越笨了。

可能台語被賦予的意義，已經不是它的起源或來源，而是一種象徵 在地人的符號吧。我想。

其實教過台灣史都知道，真正的在地人是原住民。 只是平埔族已經漢化，一部分的文化也流失了。

老師是一群工具，而且是一群聽話的工具。被控制的一群人，人云亦云 。
今天哪個人說什麼重要，就一窩瘋熱。明天改了一個教育重點，大家又趨之若鶩，還怕自己沒有跟上腳步。
這樣失去判斷力的老師，不禁令擔心。

我想即使這樣的課程存在著，也不需要大費周章規定所有老師要證照。社會資源浪費不說，大量師資的需要在哪裡？
更證明了我長久以來的懷疑，教育，只不過是一種控制。

我最愛的園地 變了
該哭的是 我

再來 看看這期天下雜誌的教育特輯，探討孩子該不該提早學英語。也許我不是專家。我不知道該不該提早學。雖然大家高唱不需提早學，我也服膺於他們的論述，但我想問問這些受訪的學者，那些英文很好的學者，他們是什麼時候開始學的。
若不是他們有豐富的資源，若不是他們有比一般人更良好的語言環境，他們無法在這裡高唱這樣的論調的。
盡信書 不如無書。

就像那些從傳統升學主義一路上來的既得利益者，高唱 開放教育 多元教育 一樣沒有任何說服力。
難怪教育改革失敗 …

觀看政治 ，整天藍綠對決、鬥爭，民眾 已經不知道為什麼而爭了 。
為了顏色吧 我想
民主政治 呵呵 素養還不夠
一樣淪為政客的工具

眼光在哪裡？非不清是分真理。
盲目 是現代人的特色

眾人皆醒 為我獨醉.......

部落閣主註:　此文所謂台語，指藏漢語系中國話福建南、廣東北、台灣的閩南話，而不是南島語系臺灣高山族、平埔族的原有台語。

又，教育部的閩南話以何為準？廈門、潮州、大稻埕、鹿港、台南的閩南話各異。若以地方音為準，台北有本音今音（如台北：魚：本音hu今音hi），以何為準？若以地方音為準，倘使台北某教員為鹿港人，是否要改為台北音？原住民也要學外來的閩南話嗎？若原住民不必學，為何原籍客家、浙江、山東、香港的教員要學?

為甚麼不規定閩南教員利用寒假學台灣話，例如泰雅語?

"Do you know why they call it "PMS"? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was taken." --Unknown, presumed dead.

Maybe I'm missing something

Something I don't understand about the debate concerning the death penalty. Here we are not discussing the rights or wrongs of the death penalty; what befuddles me is that it seems we are goaded to abolish the death penalty because it has been abolished in Europe. Does that mean that we are supposed to look to Europe for our moral standards? Europe? Morals?

Or does it mean that when even fetid Europe bans the death penalty, we had better shape up?

張先生的爺爺一百零五歲，在木柵山區務農，深居簡出。去年到台北一趟，回家跟子孫講，”奇怪，我看到很多年輕人頭髮生鏽!”

A simple rule
It is says Zen, it's not.

Two years ago, I had the opportunity to attend the annual gathering of the Jingpo (景頗 Kachin) tribe in Taiwan. At this year's gathering, I met the president of the Wa 佤association, another tribe from the border of China and Burma, and obtained an invitation to this year's Wa gathering, which was held this morning. In Taiwan, there are probably only about three hundred tribesmen from Southwestern China, mostly from the Jingpo, Wa, Dai, and Kayin tribes, so for me, attending their gatherings is a rare opportunity; the Dai and Kayin evidently do not hold gatherings.

+ + +
“The Communists oppressed us, so we fled and took up our weapons. We fought against them until finally we were removed to Taiwan. About 175 of us came, but not 40 could speak Chinese. I could not speak a word of Chinese when I came, but they forced us to learn Mandarin. Everybody had to learn Mandarin. Otherwise, how could the army function? Our Wa language alone has three dialects, and I cannot understand Wa from other regions very well. Then there are Jingpo and Dai who speak totally different languages, there are hundreds of dialects of Chinese, and there are a dozen aborigine languages in Taiwan. So it was important for us to learn Mandarin. Off duty, we speak Wa, but on duty, it's Mandarin only.”
+ + +
“La Tum is my good friend, even though he is a Jingpo. Did you know that? The Jingpo nationality originated in the Wa, but they are all thieves, every one of them, so we disowned them. Isn't that right, La Tum?”
“You Wa were just jealous because our music is so beautiful.”
“If you are with the Jingpo, you have to be careful, because they will sell you into slavery.”
“You Wa wouldn't sell me into slavery?”
“No, we'd chop you up.”
+ + +
One of the men brought two photo albums of his trip to his hometown during the last lunar new year. His mother is still going strong at 90. Many of the women still wear their traditional long black skirts and turbans, but few men were turbans any more.
His photos showed the villagers parading out of the village to a flat level space, where they all danced as the men played 笙sheng, a musical instrument made from a gourd. Unlike most photos you see of this sort of festivity, there were no photographers or tourists in the background, and the entire village was dancing.
A dozen men gathered around to discuss the photos and explain the fine points to me. Their houses were originally made of adobe, but gradually they are adapting fired bricks. Their houses are simple, but they have constructed an splendid, ornate Buddhist temple.
+ + +
“Then I went into X's house” (a Wa name, which I didn't catch) “and there were four heads on the table.” Hearty laughter from the listeners.
”Of course that was a long time ago, that sort of thing doesn't happen any more.” Knowing chuckles from the listeners.
+ + +
“If you go to Wa territory” (again, I didn't catch the place name) “don't go around announcing that you have come from Taiwan. It's sensitive. Y was sentenced to seven years for consorting with Taiwan. He's served three years of his sentence so far.”
+ + +
“Wa are honest, hard working, loyal, and dependable. Not like the Jingpo. You can't trust the Jingpo. My good friend La Tum is Jingpo, aren't you?”
“Be careful with the Wa, they will chop you up.”
“No, we do not take Jingpo heads, only Han Chinese.”
“August and September are the season for headhunting.”
“I would not take a Jingpo head. Now General P or Colonel Y here,” motioning to two honored guests who had been their commanders, “their heads would be valuable. I bet each head would be worth twenty ounces of opium!”
Colonel Y laughed and pointed at me, saying, “Take his, he's American, an American head must be worth something!”
“No, only Han Chinese.”

on 忠孝東路捷運市政府站外

I was waiting for a bus by one of Taipei's main streets. Over 6 (8?) lanes of heavy traffic, I heard, from the other side, a frantic voice, "MOTHER! Stop! Don't keep walking! We are right across the street from you!" I looked over, and there was a couple roughly my age, the man prancing and shouting into his cell phone so loud that I could hear him over the noise of the traffic and across the street. I looked around and saw a lady, probably about 75, walking straight forward with a cell phone pressed to her head. "MOTHER! Stop! Don't keep walking! Look to your left! MOTHER! Wait a minute! Stand right there!" She kept walking purposefully forward, cell phone at her ear. "Mother! Look to your left! We're across the street to your left!" She kept walking forward, but looked to her right. The couple were nearly frantic, but they couldn't get across the traffic on the road. "MOTHER! Stop right there, we're across the street to your left, just stand where you are, don't move another step, we'll be with you in a moment!" The lady turned right at the corner and wandered off.

I wanted to give the man a hug and say, "Brother, I know exactly how it is.”

numbskull
Once a couple of years ago it was about 7C. I decided that I would go for a swim, just to see what it is like to swim in that sort of weather, so I walked down to the stream and jumped in. I very quickly found out what it is like to swim in that sort of weather: VERY cold! So cold it almost hurt, but fortunately I couldn't breathe, so it didn't hurt too much. After a couple of turns around the stream, I suddenly had a revelation: I must have rocks in my head to swim in this kind of weather. With that, I climbed up on the bank, put on my clothes, and walked home again. I had almost stopped shivering by the time I got home.

心潔放假回澎湖老家，寫了這段，與大家共賞

我小時侯住澎湖一個漁村
夏天一放學就會直接衝往海水一泡 -真的只是泡泡而已
本人截至目前為止仍不會換氣

這次回去看到這個海灘面目全非
沙少了一半，另一半給垃圾占去了
不過巡海邊的老人仍然會來，像我過世的外公一樣
一到冬天村裡的老人就會到海邊來巡看看有沒有被浪打上岸的死魚
或是一些可以用的東西(多半是海上漁船的貢獻)

人口嚴重的外流，我的小漁村的建築依舊，只是斑駁了，而且人去樓空，就連我小時侯住的外公外婆家也不例外。

不過很奇怪的是，我站在早已荒蕪的家門口，卻看到外公在夏天的時侯舀著大水缸裡的水沖身子，事實上大水缸整個被翻過來倒放在那裡。

再往前走幾步，就可以看到外婆蹲在玄武岩地上抓著雞準備在它脖子上劃一刀，叫我們小孩子不可以看，而事實上鄉公所已經把附近的路都用水泥填過了；就算我聽外婆的話閉起眼睛，耳朵聽到的還是耳時玩伴的超俗澎湖腔台語，還有媽媽在廚房喊我們吃飯的聲音…

這個漁翁島的回憶已經紮根在我的細胞裡囉~

好的開始

阿雞非常興奮，打電話來說，『陶啊，陶啊，你看我們愛慕的副總統 呂秀蓮女士，她越來越穩重，智慧日日增長，愈來愈懂事，口德天天養益，陶啊，你看，整個中華民國九十四年，她沒有講過一句丟人現眼的話，也沒有鬧過笑話，也沒有任何的貽笑大方的舉止，她今年的表現，可圈可點，真是另人手舞足蹈!!』

我說，『阿雞呀，今天才一月二日，你是不是高興的太早了?』

阿雞說，『要趁她表現還很完美的時機，趕快歌功頌德。』

我說，『阿雞呀，2005年還有三百六十幾天‧』

阿雞默然一番。『不管以後的日子有甚麼樣的場面，在我們心中，我們永遠、永遠會記得她這年的完美無缺的表現。陶啊，我實在太感動。』他嗚嗚地哭起來了。『我已經把電視機丟掉了，讓她在我心中留下這一片零缺點的紀錄。應該給她提名諾貝爾和平獎。』

『諾貝爾和平獎? 甚麼道理?』

『只要她不鬧，天下太平，這難道不合諾貝爾和平獎的條件嗎?』

靜蓉 phoned from London to wish me a happy new year, which I pass on to everybody. Comparing notes, we found that it is 6C in London and 3C in Wulai, which means that Wulai is colder today than London. Cheers!

It's hard to be a man

...and they criticize the southern Europeans for waving their hands when they talk...: STL

Buses stop at the big Wulai bridge on request. I prefer to wait for the bus there because the scenery is so nice. You can view the surrounding peaks, or peer down into the stream twenty-five meters below.

A pickup drove up, with three young Aborigines from Mangan in the seat, man woman man. The man who was not driving jumped out and called, “Hey, man! Hey friend, you speak English? I speak English very good, you speak?”

“Yeah, I speak a little. How are you?”

“Hey man, I speak English sooooo good, come, come, I teach you, you see this?” He slapped the hood of the pickup. “Caaaaah, this caaaah, you know?”

“Yeah, I know. What's this?” I slapped the lamppost I was leaning against.

“That? Hmm, that, yeah, I know English soooo good, so we no speak English, is okay. Yugan, musa inu?”

“Musa cbaq biru. Iyat ge Inglis su bi?”

The reason for his clowning became evident. The young lady stepped out of the car and she was clearly in a foul mood about something. The driver had tried a bit to cheer her up and then wandered out of range of any explosions.

“She beautiful, no?” Truly, like so many Aborigine women, she was beautiful, so with no hypocrisy, I agreed. “But now she … she …. she 生氣 me, so how can I do? Yugan, English how say生氣? Mad? She mad me, I no want live!” With great dramatic gestures, he launched himself at the railing of the bridge. I thought he would stop there. Ms Angry continued to scowl. The man rolled over the railing. Just as my laughter was turning into alarm, I realized that he was holding onto the railing with one hand. He dangled over the edge of the bridge, twenty five meters over the shallow water. The driver squatted at a safe distance on the far side of the bridge, smoking impassively.

A mournful voice rose over the railing: “She beautiful but she mad so I no want live! Kneiring giri生氣了，我不想活.” That broke her mood and she grudgingly smiled a bit. The man hoisted himself to peek over the railing. She told him, “Tobut su la, 你去死,” but with a sunny smile on her face. Still not safe to come up. Still hanging from the railing, the young man asked, “Is okay? I love you baby okay?” That brought a laugh, which invited him to clamber back onto the bridge. “Hey my friend, I speak English is very good, you know?”

“Yes, I know, you speak English very well, but mwah bus maku, 我先走了,” and waving goodbye, I got on the bus.

不知道有沒有人想過。從前，台灣的形象，就是自由中國，小小的島勇敢地與毛澤東對抗，全世界怕的人民解放軍，只有小小的自由中國的健兒敢惹他；光復大陸的口號雖然有點空洞，但是這個精神令人佩服。

然後是台灣奇蹟、十大建設。

但是現在寶島給大家甚麼樣的印象呢?比較注意本島新聞的人，了解台灣的子彈會轉彎、總統有防彈口袋，還有呢，就是呂秀蓮亂講話。一般人知道的台灣，除了商品之外，就是每次電視新聞播的好笑、荒謬的畫面：立委打架。換句話說，台灣的新形象，就是政要亂搞。

到時如果中共用武力解決台灣問題，世界輿論他們本來不太理睬，而外面大家想到的可能是，反正台灣的政治人物亂搞，換人做做看，應該沒有關係嘛。

In general, Taiwan's sunrises and sunsets are not that spectacular. I have to confess that I do not have a thorough acquaintance with sunrise, unless the sun wakes me by shining in my eyes. The sun goes down over the ridge behind me a couple hours before dusk, so there’s not much in the way of sunsets. But the moon ~~ the moonscapes in Taiwan are incomparable.

This evening at nightfall it rained hard, harder than usual for winter. Usually it drizzles for weeks at a time in the winter, but not heavy rain like that. Around 8, the moon had risen above the ridge to the east. The clouds were scattering, but there was mist draped on the mountains. The moon, shining from within a circular rainbow behind the clouds, lit up the clouds and mist so they were luminous over the solid black mountains; raindrops on the tree leaves around my house sparkled. The view was mesmerizing as the mist blew across the mountains and flowed by valleys. Eventually, the sky cleared enough for stars to shine. The moonlight was so strong that you could see the valleys and ridges on the mountains. Then wind blew and the sky closed again.

This post is to commemorate an evening of extraordinary beauty.

Dear Scrooge

This not being a Christian land, Taiwan does not celebrate Christmas. What passes should be called X-ma$, because it has nothing to do with Christ and everything to do with Money. The West has produced over a thousand years of lovely Christmas music, and here nothing is heard but Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer, and similar trash. Fortunately, music is heard only in large stores, X-ma$ being a purely commercial event, so rush out the doors and you are free. It is believed that the proper way to celebrate X-ma$ is with a wild dance party, the louder the better, and to hell with Silent Night. Santa Claus is the man of the day. Last year a hotel featured a bungee jumping Santa Claus. Unfortunately, the cords held.

This I understand

“Think he's been talking to your mother?” Jesse said.
“Nobody talks to my mom,” Simpson said. “They listen.”

--Robert B Parker, Death in Paradise

Reply
I'm not a scholar, I'm alive.

In an article discussing the new heart-killer burgers introduced by Carl Jr's and Hardee's, Tim Shea, 43, a magazine publisher from Chicago said, “The fact that they would have the wherewithal to invent a product that could choke a mule is something to be prideful of.” This is a good (or dreadful) example of English that anybody should be ashamed of: be prideful of. Prideful? What's wrong with proud? Sure, we know what's wrong with proud. It's a single syllable word of long and prideful heritage, so of course we have to replace it with a slick two syllable word. Have the wherewithal usually means have the money, so I am not sure what he means here.
The sad thing is that the man who produced this monstrosity of English is a magazine publisher, which implies that he pollutes the environment with this sort of writing. Let's hope his boss fires him so he can learn something about writing!

S came around the curve, spotted me, and raced his motorcycle towards me with his right arm out, a huge smile on his face: "Yugan! I haven't seen you for so long! I met your friend!" He slammed on the brakes, almost on my toes, and we gripped each others’ right hands.

“My friend? Who did you meet?”

“An American. I met him in jail. I said to him, 'I no speak Yin-geh-lee-shee.'”

“You've been in jail?”

“Yes, and I met an American, but we couldn't talk. I asked him, "You know Yugan, he same same you, Ah-mwi-ree-kan, you know?" But he didn't know you.”

”Why was he in jail?”

“He stole a purse. I asked him, 'How long you here?'" S pantomimed handcuffs and a cell door locked shut. "He said, 'Too muns.'”

“Sayin lyacing (two months)," I interpreted.

“I thought so. He said, 'Too muns, n I go USA.' I said, 'I Taiwan Indian, woo-woo –wooo,'" He howled and patted his mouth. "I said, 'I Taiwan Indian, like Tayal, Yugan too.'" He beamed at me.

“But what were you in jail for?”

His smile widened. "I cut down somebody's fir," he made a gesture of a trunk as wide as he could encompass. "They caught me, so they locked me up for a couple months.”

“No wonder I haven't seen you for so long. How was it?”

”I enjoyed it, but I'm glad to be out. Yugan! Come drink with us.”

“No, thanks. Why don't you come to my place to sit?”

“Yugan, you don't have any liquor!”

I thumped him with the stick I was carrying. "No I don't, so you can come drink tea.”

“Yugan! I don't like tea, they don't give you any liquor in jail, and I want whiskey! Whiskey!" With a great laugh, he roared off down the road.

A young man stole a set of bagpipes in San Juan Capistrano, California, but got caught when he tried to sell them on Ebay. The thief will be sentenced to community service.

You ask me, stealing the bagpipes WAS a community service.

I am having trouble dealing with this. In the July/August 2004 Atlantic Monthly, Robert Conquest reports that decrees issued by Stalin “resulted in nearly 770,000 executions in 1937-1938. In addition, over the whole of his career, Stalin signed 44,000 individual death sentences.”

I cannot grasp these facts. Stalin was leader of the Soviet Union from 1929 until 1953, for 24 years. 24 years is about 8770 days, which means that if Stalin worked seven days a week, on the average for 24 years every day he sentenced about five people to death. Every day, for 24 years.

Mind you, this is above and beyond the seven hundred seventy thousand people murdered by his orders in 1937 and 1938, citizens of his own country.

I do not even want to be capable of understanding this.

有點無聊，但也是好玩

問: 烏來有三家溫泉館的名子一樣，是哪三家?

答: 沙力達、那山谷、卡沙密亞。

解:　三個名子都是『我家』的意思。沙力達sali ta是泰雅語Kinhakul方言;　那山谷ngasan ku是泰雅語Squliq　方言;卡沙密亞　casa mia 是義大利語. .
{sali, 家；ta,我們}
{ngasan, 家; ku,我的｝
{casa=house; mia = my}

The rain has stopped, and the temperature is a pleasant 11C. After I had lunch and tea, the weather called for a walk. In an unusual switch on the usual order, Yumin was home, Tlahuy and Bengax had departed for parts unknown. I never call my dogs when I go for a hike: they come. This was the first time Yumin and I had set off alone. He could scarcely contain himself. He pranced several steps ahead of me, rushed to my heels, and scampered forward, clearing the way down the jungle with ears flying. Five minutes along the path, Tlahuy silently appeared at my side; even my acute hearing had not detected his approach. Several minutes later, Bengax reported in, touching my left calf with her nose. When they wish, these noisy dogs can race silently through the jungle.

Our walk took us out, up, around, and back down again, about an hour and a half, about 150 meters up and down in altitude. Wulai is such a beautiful place! I've lived here for eight years, and I still marvel daily at the beauty of the scenery ~~ and sigh at the determination of business and government to destroy as much as they can. I found a small cherry tree that had not survived the typhoon, some of the most beautiful cherry wood I have ever seen, so I whacked off the branches and roots and brought it back. I'll figure out something to do with it, so that its beauty may be preserved. It succumbed to the typhoon because its roots were decayed, so it would have died sooner or later anyway.

There was a car parked by the side of the road, no big deal, probably off to somebody's house, or hiking, or birding, or something. In back of the car was a nice piece of wood that had been detached by the typhoon, so I started whacking off the odd branches with my headhunting knife. All of a sudden two startled people sat bolt upright in the car. It was not as empty as I thought. They had found this deserted little side road to take a pleasant Sunday afternoon nap (innocent: they looked like middle-aged husband and wife) when suddenly they get woken up by this guy chopping branches off a tree. I amiably saluted them with my knife, and decided that was not such a good idea, so I just left the wood there and kept going. I can go pick it up some other day. Their expressions were priceless!

I came back pleasantly exercised, so I decided to feed myself a fragrant melon; if for nothing else, the fruit would make Taiwan worth living in. When I had cut that open, I thought, my faithful little companions deserve a snack, too. I got out three treats, and called the dogs, but Yumin? I called, and heard thunkety thunkety thunk thunk thunk, thunketythunkety thunk thunk, the unmistakable sound of a beagle tail being wagged against the inside of a doghouse. He figured his exertions warranted room service….

I had a close call the other day. On Thursday I was seriously considering mopping, but talked myself out of it, which was wise, because when the typhoon came on Friday ~~ A typhoon in December, what is the world coming to! ~~ the humidity and pressure forced water out of the tiles and walls in the bathrooms and kitchen (the only floors that aren't wood), and the wood was slightly damp to the touch, so that would have defeated mopping. So now I know! If a typhoon can come in December, it can come any month of the year, which I will have to take into consideration next time I get the urge to mop.

十二月還有颱風，怎麼一回事?
這次颱風國際命名Nanmadol，中文譯名"南瑪都，" 應該譯"那麼多，" 今年颱風那麼多!

市問山曰，'住山上很無聊吧，下雨天不能出去。'
山曰，'不會呀。今天吃午餐聽雨聲，因為颱風，門窗緊閉，點了一根香，邊吃飯邊看香烟。’
市問，'這有甚麼好看?'
山答，'升而眷，轉環舒伸，降而顧，洄懸頏頡，睹之甚戀，甚至忘了我煮的菜有多難吃…”
市曰，'這有甚麼好看? 煙就是煙，都一樣。’
山問，'那你下雨天作甚麼?’
市答，'在家裡看電視。’
山問，'看甚麼節目?’
市答，'歌唱表演啦、連續劇啦~’
山曰，'這有甚麼好看? 都一樣。歌唱表演嘛， 流行歌曲旋律都差不多，聽了第一小節就知道下一個樂句，歌詞大同小異，不是我愛妳，就是你不愛我。歌星在前面扭，舞隊在旁邊跳。連續劇嘛，看了第一集大概知道怎麼演，不是"媽!!妳不能死!!",就是"太太!我對不起妳!" 起碼，我的烟有香氣，而且沒有廣告。’

I wrote this in April, 1999. The situation is even worse now.
悼木

軋輅是泰雅族的健兒， 個性開朗、豁達、人緣極佳。 十幾年前結婚時，在新家前種了一棵榕樹。 樹跟主人一樣，茁壯、大方、人見人愛。 但最近鄉公所為了多裝一個路燈，竟無情地把軋輅的榕樹給鋸掉了。

榕樹完全是冤枉的。新路燈在榕樹與路的中間，樹本來不妨礙燈，而且，這個新路燈旁一公尺處早已有電線桿。施工的人不在原有的電線桿裝燈，也不先爭取軋輅的同意，就把美麗翠綠的榕樹鋸了，既不合情，又不合理。

好了，台北縣又少了一棵樹，又怎麼樣？ 這沒甚麼稀奇， 是不是小題大做？ 問題在於現代人的價值觀。 只計眼前的方便，不慮長久的利益。 孔子說，「 伐一樹， 不以其時， 非孝也。」 因為他瞭解人是靠天地而生存的。 不管科技多發達，如果人不節制貪慾，為了短暫的方便破壞山林，上無以供養父母、下無以養育子女。地球生態早已瀕臨危機，我們如果想生存，必須傾力維護生態，不該一味的「開發」。 難道我們要把台灣所有的自然生態全都毀滅才能覺醒嗎？

台北縣這些年來為了開一些很少人走的路，挖壞了多少山坡地！ 為了照亮 這些晚上幾乎沒有人走的路，砍伐了多少樹；燈火通明，浪費這麼多電，核子發電廠只好多蓋幾個。

將來各位發現台北水質愈來愈差、空氣越來越髒、頻聞都市缺水、山崩、石流的噩耗時，請記得軋輅的那一棵榕樹。

When I came back from the Jingpo gathering on Sunday, Yumin was nowhere to be seen. Sometimes he goes out beagling in the afternoon, but usually knows when I come home and rushes back. At dusk I went out to call him, but nothing, so after dinner, I got a flashlight and walked around calling, but still no beagle. I was getting worried. It was Sunday, and conceivably a sightseer had stolen him. People tell me that when I am not present, agile, wily Yumin is almost impossible to grab hold of, and anybody who took him home would quickly have cause to regret it. All beagles are howlers, and Yumin has those strong mountain lungs. Nonetheless, just last week two little boys in Taipei took their beagle out for a walk, and some bad man kidnapped the beagle, and held it for ransom!

Not much I could do, so I played the recorder instead. About ten, I went out to check, and there he was, squirming gleefully in the doghouse.

He's grounded. I have tied him up by the doghouse for three days, hoping that he will see the error of his ways.

文王囚羑里，Yumin繫烏來

我星期天回來，Yumin不在家，到處找，無迹，各隅喊，無應。半夜他才回來。禁足三天，綁狗屋邊，希望他好好反省一下。 希望不是養精蓄銳，解放後更皮。

The Jingpo (景頗)nationality may not be familiar to everybody now, but in the 19th century the British empire learned what ferocious fighters they are, as did the Japanese during World War II. The Brits know them as the Kachin（卡欽）. They're a tribe on the borders of China, Thailand, and Burma. Around 1960, a hundred guerillas were brought to Taiwan to keep them out of trouble. Yesterday I went to their annual gathering. They all bring their swords, so I took along my Tayal headhunting knife (laraw behu).

I arrived about fifteen minutes late. Most of the Jingpo were dressed in modern clothes, but wore turbans, satchels, and swords. Several young people wore traditional outfits, the girls ornamented with silver. They wore very untraditional sneakers. The speakers had already begun. I slipped in and took a seat in the back row, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible. Kung, the previous president, spotted me and insisted that I sit on the stage and address the gathering. He picked up my pack with one hand and my left arm with the other and dragged me out of my seat. Most of the audience had turned around to watch: so much for inconspicuous.

I sat next to General Yang, their old commanding officer, who, although not Jingpo, speaks the language. Kung took the microphone: "You all remember our American friend, who attended our gathering before. He wrote articles about us in English." He held up copies of the publications I had sent him. "This is the first time anybody has ever introduced the Jingpo in Taiwan in English." Everybody clapped. So much for inconspicuous. He thrust the microphone in my hands.

"It is an honor to be here today, but I should not be talking. I would like to hear you talk, to hear about your experiences. Thank you.”

Kung and Yang looked at me. “Keep talking.”

"I've finished." Other speakers took the podium. Their talks revolved around two points. The first point can be concisely expressed as, SHUT UP! Each speaker explained very patiently and eloquently that it is polite, civilized, democratic, proper, meet, and right to listen to the person holding the floor, but it didn't seem to have much effect.

It didn't seem to have much effect until they moved to Point Two, which was their extreme dissatisfaction with the current administration. President Chen Shui-bian's administration, obsessed with setting up Taiwan as an independent nation, treats the Taiwan aborigines with harsh contempt, so their curt treatment of the Jingpo should hardly surprise anyone. The Taiwan aborigines were here four thousand years before the first Chinese set foot on the island; the Jingpo came within the last fifty years. The Taiwan aborigines make up a per cent or two of the population. The total number of Yunnan tribesmen in Taiwan, Jingpo + Wa + Dai + Kayin, cannot be more than 500, so the DPP (Democratic Progressive Party) administration does not deign to do anything for such a minuscule minority. Somebody was handing out copies of an official statement from the Ministry of the Interior that they refuse to recognize the existence of the Jingpo, because the tribe cannot document their existence to the administration's satisfaction! A speaker pointed out that under the communists, the Jingpo have their own autonomous region, while the DPP feels their existence is beneath notice. One of the men was asked by a DDP candidate, "Why aren't you dead yet?”

A young man, second generation Taiwan-Jingpo, dressed in a traditional outfit, unconsciously pulled his sword out of the scabbard every time the speaker detailed another government insult to Jingpo dignity. There are not many Jingpo in Taiwan, and they are old now, but no matter how friendly they are, these are not people I would rile. Ask SLORC, the Burmese military government, which dreads the Kachin Independence Army.

Finally the speeches were over, and we got down to the serious business of lunch. Eat, chat, toast. Someone handed me a bright red satchel to wear, slung across my chest. As you walk, the silver ornaments jingle and chink. A representative passed out membership address lists, nicely printed in a little booklet with the KIA (Kachin Independence Army) emblem on the cover. The men told me about their villages, far in the mountains of southwestern China, how they fought, and how they came to Taiwan in airplanes. They told me of the years without news from home, during the Great Leap Forward and Cultural Revolution, and finally being able to go home again. One man got off the plane, rode on a truck for twenty-four hours, and walked for nine hours to reach his hometown. As soon he stepped onto the streets of home for the first time in over twenty years, he spotted his own brother.

One of the men told me that several months ago he went to Burma and stayed with the KIA. Before I got a chance to ask for details, he was dragged away by the next table for more toasts. The more toasts that were drunk, the more uproarious the men became.

Before long, somebody started banging on the pot drum (a long-stemmed drum common to many nationalities in the mountains of Southeast Asia). The tables were cleared away, and swords were drawn. A few of the men had not brought their own swords, but there were spares on the table. The men display great joy in wearing and handling their swords. This year somebody brought a spear, which was passed from hand to hand with great relish. Several of the men detailed its use for my benefit, but actually, I think they just enjoyed stabbing about with the spear. They examined my Tayal knife with blissful expertise.

The first dance was led by the drum, cymbals, and a gong. The Jingpo lined up single file, follow the leader. For the next dance, Kung led the line. Kung sometimes comes across as officious and somewhat fussy, but as soon as the sword dance started, you could see why he was chosen president, and to this day dominates the new association president. His whole bearing changed. He stopped speaking Mandarin, and began exhorting and regaling the men in Jingpo, singing in a loud, hearty voice. I had never seen this side of him before, but beyond a doubt, this is a man you would follow into battle.

Maybe the Ministry of the Interior should acknowledge their existence just to keep them happy.

A good line
… Cleveland, the Paris of northeastern Ohio…..
Herbert Gold

佛像是帶微笑的。如果學佛不能開心地笑，不如不學佛.

好消息，好消息，大家告訴大家!! 我把兩岸問題解決了!

大陸要台灣回歸，李陳呂各想當國父(母)，這個緊張局勢，一般美國人非常關心。在美國問起Taiwan 啦China啦，一般老百姓的反應是，"台灣? 我當然知道，我也認為這是一個值得深思熟慮的問題，至於我個人的看法呢，談到台灣嘛，雖然有點辣，而且有時候有些怪味道，不太敢嚐，不過Thai food很特別，很好吃，可是還是中國料理比較好吃，盡管吃了以後一個小時又餓了，而且加很多味精，吃了會頭痛，但是中國菜還是比泰國菜好吃。"

這番言論足以證明，世界輿論認為中國問題很頭痛。 其實這個問題很簡單，台灣跟大陸統一，可是條件是: 台灣是新中國的首都。如果真的堅持的話，就把國號改為:台灣人民共合國。台民幣上畫個台灣藍雀棲息萬里長城上。這樣問題就解決了，皆大歡喜。

我一定可以得諾貝爾和平獎！

It looked like rain, so yesterday at dusk I set fire to a pile of branches, bamboo, and deadwood. Yumin was so impressed and excited by the spectacle that he strolled into the doghouse and feel asleep, belly up, legs sprawled every which direction. Bengax doesn't like fire, especially since bamboo explodes with an alarming pop, so she kept her distance. I sat on a log and gazed into the fire. Loyal Tlahuy came to lie at my feet. Rain fell with dark.

There is a little irrigation ditch behind my place, now used for runoff. When I moved here, there was always water in the ditch, but now spas pipe off the water to heat up for their 'hot springs.' Cool weather has drawn customers, so the water level in the ditch is low. The bottom of the ditch has a layer of black sludge. I decided to scoop some up to put on tree roots and flower pots. My trowel hit something hard: a turtle nestled down for a long rest. Do Not Disturb.

很久很久以前，一個小村坐落澗溪畔，豁岸峻峭，往返村民戰慄，ㄔ亍陡降，涉溪步步自危，攀藤扶葛而上，甚苦之。 一日天倏變，狂風驟雨，竹折樹仆，一巨樹方巧隕落溪谷上。翌日村夫二人沿樹過溪，稱讚方便未曾有。于是將樹二端以石墊高固定，剪枝修幹，成為全世界第一座橋樑。二夫滿意，稱快而回。

又逾一時，三夫由外地歸村，至岸，赫然橋樑，三夫懌悅，攜手攀橋。在橋上立足互賀，夫甲曰，"哇賽，這個橋好高!" 夫乙曰，”真的好高。" 夫丙語夫甲, "你吐一口痰，我數數看。"呸。"一、二，哇，好高!”

由此綿綿，年年代代，只要男人走過橋，一定要吐痰數高度，幾千年不易，成為男人的本能:遇橋必吐痰，對男人而言，是一股無法抗拒的驅力。 女人是無法了解的。


案: 一派歷史學者認為，人類數數的起源，就是應男人過橋吐痰的需要而產生的，可備一說。

不適合當導盲犬

外來語譯中文本多舛謬，一則因華語聲韻特質:無子音群、尾音有限等使然。一則各方言譯音不同。但最大的問題是譯者耳唄不慎音，故copy卡否音訛拷貝，pizza皮測扭成比薩，令人咋舌。

最好的音譯兼意，system系統、series系列是也。

Beagle譯迷格魯，bㄇ均雙唇音無誤，但::迷格魯::既不合原音，又不類狗性，因此本人很誠摯地提出改良譯音:皮格魯。

養皮格魯的人一定了解。

獸醫說：beagle 不皮不純。

15日的post論銀行廣告，Balahu回我一篇. Thanks for the permission to post this!
每天，幾乎是每天，手機都會接到某家銀行打來的貸款或現金卡或保險遊說電話，
我算過，平均每家銀行間隔兩個星期會換一個專員打來，台灣有這麼多家銀行，
所以幾乎天天都在接這種哀求妳負債的電話！真的很煩！

像我今天下午在看眼科門診的時候，就邊聽醫生診療，邊拿著手機不厭其煩地再拒絕一次
荷X銀行的善意，這已經是我第三千次拒絕了吧～難道不能饒了我已經很美麗的人生嗎？

關於這個美麗人生廣告，我在看到電視CF的時候，就很受不了，
媒體每分每秒在洗我們的腦～你的人生就是要欠一屁股還不完的債才會美麗得起來！
沒有欠銀行巨額債務，怎麼算是稱職的現代資本主義社會公民？
沒有欠銀行錢怎麼算是活得有尊嚴？這到底是哪們子邏輯？

下次再接到這種電話，我要學我的原住民老人家朋友，跟那個專員說：
這麼好，自己要借我錢哦？要還嗎？如果不用還，我馬上跟你借！

Sketch
You could hear the bridges from way off. On every bridge were stationed soldiers who shot every branch or spray floating downstream, to foil the Viet Cong who attached explosives to the debris the river swept out of the jungle, in order to explode bridges and disrupt transportation. Many of the ARVN sharpshooters stood at their posts in their underpants, as the Mekong Delta is tropically hot. Some held their M16s casually in one hand, picking off branches with dead eye, never missing from thirty meters. Bullets are a lot cheaper than bridges.

Riding down the Mekong Delta, 1971

睜眼說瞎話

路上拿到誠X銀行傳單:
薪女性 新主張
活出美麗新人生
結果廣告甚麼呢? 簡易貸款! 欠債哪是美麗新人生?
誠X銀行把女性上班族當笨蛋嗎? 走出廚房上班去，是為了貸款付6%利息把銀行養肥，這是哪一門解放?

備註:　 誠X銀行古亭分行辦女性貸款的專員，是男性。

Isn't progress wonderful?
Joan of Arc got burned at the stake for talking with disembodied voices. Now we'd just assume she was talking on a cell phone.

還用問
如果要我選擇，要跟孔子、老子、墨子同一國，或者跟杜正勝、李登輝、呂秀蓮同一國，你猜我選誰?

You know how in the peat bogs of northern Europe they have found preserved bodies of Neolithic people? They are called bog people, and the definitive study on that is The Bog People by P V Glob.
Hi, what's that you're reading?
The Blog People by P V Gob, no, the Glob People by P B Vlob, no, the Pog Beople by P P Bog, no, no, it's the Bob Gleoble by P V Plob ~~~ look, why don't you just mind your own business!?

In the weeks preceding Halloween, Ebay had auctions not only for Halloween costumes, but Halloween costumes for adults. Halloween costumes for adults?? When people have brains like that, it is small wonder that Bush got reelected.

When I was in kindergarten, for Halloween they had us dress up in our costumes and parade through the school to show the big kids who it is done. I was a goat. Mom sewed a piece of light tan cloth into a rough approximation of a goat, and we made a paper mask for the face. I still vividly remember that she then took two sheets of typing paper from the desk drawer and rolled them into goat's horns! Magic!

I feel sorry for kids whose parents buy them costumes, and have never seen typing paper become goat's horns. They don't know what magic is.

A friend showed me his new GPS, complete with maps of your present locality, anywhere you go. With a flourish, he turned it on ~~~ and it seems we are just a bit northwest of Denver, Colorado. Interesting. I had thought November in Colorado would be much cooler.


The GPS couldn't have made a mistake, could it!? I mean, those things are digital and electronic, they CAN'T be wrong!! Because it has an LCDisplay, too!



I think I'll stop in on Kathie.