Saturday, February 27, 2016

大概民國六十一、二年吧,一次從花蓮要到天祥,當時都是搭便車旅遊,又自由、又省錢、又可以跟很多司機聊,多有趣!但是那天早上從臺東出發,過了花蓮,搭的車要往蘇澳走,不是到天祥,所以我在中橫太魯閣入口下車,開始往山裏走。
一片矗立的峭壁一直吸引我,很想爬,可是當年在臺灣,怎麼問也找不到攀岩的人。連「攀岩」這個詞都沒有人知道。一個人不能爬,所以只好望崖興嘆。我往天祥走,到了那裏馵步,索性坐下來好好看崖,研究,如果哪一天找到攀岩的人,怎麼爬?剛好夕陽斜光,可以把石面看得很清楚,我真的是流連忘返。等天黑了我才猛然想到,我還有十幾公里要走。安安靜靜的,走起路來很舒服,一台車也沒有。嗯,一台車也沒有,那我搭甚麼便車?這是問題。
走了一個小時左右,有點餓,有點累,可是雙向都沒有車。有了!我聽到聲音!有卡車來,而且是往天祥方向走!太好了!車慢慢靠近,我開始倒著走,擺出我熟練的搭便車姿勢。可是司機沒有要停的樣子,所以我開始揮手 。等車子快要過的時候,我想到我真的有點累,不想再走一個小時,所以我乾脆不客氣,跑了幾步跳上踏板,問司機,「請問,可以送我到天祥嗎?」司機眼睛瞪很大,嘴巴開了,嗯嗯兩聲,微微點了頭,不講話。我很大方地開了門上了車,謝謝你,我到天祥就下車。
說也很奇怪。一班卡車司機很喜歡開車有人可以聊天,可是那個司機好像很內向,不管我怎麼想辦法跟他聊天,他就是雙眼盯得直直的,專心看前面的路,一副很緊張的樣子,一句也不回我。好吧,不是所有人都愛聊天,可是這個司機有點怪,他給我的感覺是,他不敢看我。好吧,有人天生害羞吧。好吧,不要勉強他了,不想聊就不要聊,我有靜靜地看著黑黑的 山景。
沒有很久,天祥到了。我跟司機先生說,「到了,我到天祥就好了,我下車了,謝謝你!」又一個很奇怪的感覺,司機好像鬆了一口氣,可是還是不看我,嗯嗯兩聲。我開門下車,幾乎來不及落地、來不及說謝謝,司機已經全力踩油門,向前衝,開很快!我很訝異看著他的車全速往洛韶跑。搖頭兩下,就往天主堂投宿去了。
多年後,我跟一個開車的朋友偶然提到這個奇怪的司機,沒想到這位朋友仰天哈哈大笑,笑得不停。等他喘了氣,我問他,「這有甚麼好笑的呢?」他擦眼淚說,「那個司機一定認為有阿飄上了他的車!你想,中橫前不著村、後不著店的黑暗路段,突然看到一個奇怪相貌的像人的形狀的東西招他的車,不是鬼是甚麼?那個年代臺灣的外國人很少,那個司機應該平時沒有近距離見過外國人,怎麼可能在荒郊野外有外國人要上他的車?一定是鬼!他把你當作鬼,所以你當然認為他怪怪的!他以為你才奇怪!也難怪你下車他鬆了一口氣!他一定一路衝到廟裏收驚哈哈哈哈!」笑得不停。
好吧,大概是吧,反正我本來就是洋鬼子。
When I was in college, I hitchhiked all over Taiwan. It was a great way to see things and meet people.
One day I was going from Hualien to Tienhsiang, and got dropped off near the coast where the road enters the mountains, spectacular scenery you have to see to believe.
There is a cliff there that I really wanted to climb, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find another rock climber. People didn’t even know what rock climbing was. Why should you go to all that effort to climb up, fall off, and smash your brains all over a rock face? Well, yeah, but it’s fun, you see.
On the day in question, I walked up to a place where I could really admire the cliff and sat down to study the face. About a pitch, at most a pitch and a half, I guessed. The setting sun put the face in relief so I could see details I hadn’t seen before. Fantastic. More and more interesting.
But when the sun set, I realized I was still over ten kilometers from Tienhsiang, and it was dark. The nice thing was that there were no cars or trucks on the road, so it was serenely quiet. Uh, no cars or trucks on the road. Hmm. One of the prerequisites for hitchhiking is you need cars or trucks. Hmm. Okay, let’s start walking.
An hour later, I still hadn’t seen a single car, and I was getting a bit hungry and tired. Then I heard a sound, a motor, something coming, and in the right direction! From the sound I could tell it was a truck. Great! Truck drivers enjoy company and always stop. So when the truck came close enough, I started walking backward and thumbing.
But the truck didn’t seem to be slowing down, so I started waving. It still wasn’t slowing down, and just as it was passing, I realized I really didn’t want to walk another hour, so I ran and jumped on the running board. I stuck my head in the window and very politely asked the driver to take me to Tienhsiang. It is on the way, after all.
But something strange. The driver’s eyes bulged, his mouth opened, he nodded, but he didn’t say anything. Never mind that, I opened the door and climbed into the front seat.  Now, most truck drivers enjoy having someone to chat with, to break the monotony of driving, but this guy was different. I tried to strike up a conversation, but he wouldn’t say a thing to me. He kept his eyes glued on the road. Okay, some people are shy, they don’t like to talk. But he seemed tense, nervous in a way, and I got the impression that he didn’t even want to look at me. Kind of weird. Well, okay, I just watched the black shadows of the mountains in silence.
When we reached Tienhsiang, I said, “Here we are, this is as far as I go.” He seemed relieved, but he still wouldn’t look at me. I opened the door and jumped out. Almost as soon as I hit the ground, before I had a chance to thank him, he floored it and roared off. I watched in amazement for a while as he sped up the road.
Many years later, I happened to mention this strange encounter to a friend who’s also a driver. To my surprise, he threw back his head and guffawed. When he could control himself, I asked him, What’s so funny? He said, “That driver must have thought you were a ghost! Think of it, out in the middle of nowhere in the mountains, miles from any houses or buildings, this shape that looks like a human wants to get into his truck. If that’s not a ghost, what is it? There were very few foreigners in Taiwan at that time, and he had probably never seen a foreigner up close. He never imagined a foreigner would flag down his truck in the middle of the pitch black mountains, so he was probably sure you were a ghost! You thought he was weird, but he thought you were spooky! He probably didn’t stop until he found a temple hahahaha!”
That would explain it, but allow me to assure you, I am flesh and blood, living and breathing. Does that make anyone feel better?

Monday, February 22, 2016

Tom Cotton did his best to sabotage the nuclear deal with Iran. It is a total coincidence, I suppose, that he took US$1,000,000 from Israel (LINK). He went to Israel to swear fealty to his masters, but of course he always has the best interests of the US at heart. Or, to be more specific, the best interests of a certain US citizen named Tom Cotton. 

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Oregon is dealing with the takeover of a public land by a group led by one Ammon Bundy. Bundy has benefited from decades of government subsidies on his ventures, including a loan of over US$500,000 which is subsidized by tax money (LINK). Now he says God has called him to go all the way to Oregon to protest and protect the Constitution. In short, he wants to own the land.
Unfortunately, if the land belongs to anybody, I would think the Paiute Indians would have a better claim than he (LINK). The local sheriff has asked him politely to leave and let the locals get on with their lives (LINK). But what is worse, he has irritated the birders, and if you think birders are a soft bunch, you have another thought coming. (LINK) The Bundy gang should really go home and try to do something worthwhile. 

Monday, February 08, 2016

Blaq ta kwara kawas na yungay! 
祝所有眾生猴年平安吉祥!
a happy monkey year to all!

Saturday, February 06, 2016

Southern Taiwan was hit by a 6.4 earthquake early this morning. We are in the north, so we didn’t know anything about it until we woke up and saw the news online.
阿彌陀佛,猴年還沒正式登場就猴搞。祝大家猴年平安吉祥!

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Shots are fired, bombs are exploded in Paris, in London, in Madrid, the world takes note, people march, candles are lit. Two thousand some people get slaughtered in Baga, Boko Haram butchers 86 people in Maiduguri, ho hum, those are in Nigeria, who cares, really? It’s not like anybody would change their FaceBook profile photo. Let’s see what the commentators have to say about the Super Bowl.

Je suis Nigeria? Not likely!

Monday, February 01, 2016

Interesting article about which states speak fastest, the least, and so forth.