看到新聞了嗎？

開往桃園機場的遊覽車撞欄失火，造成廿六人死亡，結果發現司機酒駕。

臺南一位仁兄喝了六瓶啤酒，開車撞死了一位保全、撞壞了消防栓、還撞到停路邊的好幾台轎車，還渾然不知。

漢人好可愛，都很喜歡喝酒。

。

每次聽人說，「原住民很可愛」，我的毛豎起來，因為我知道接下來要開始講原住民喝酒的故事。是嗎？原住民只有喝酒嗎？臺灣只有原住民喝酒嗎？

說「原住民很可愛」，是讓自己站在甚麼位置？高高在上。

有的漢人非常關心原住民、深入了解原住民文化，我從來沒聽過這種人說「原住民很可愛」。(說實話，從平起平坐的地位深入了解原住民文化的漢人，鳳毛鱗爪；許多研究員研究時，站在很高的位置，如同研究細菌一樣。)

現今臺灣把原住民當政治資本。如果看倌認為臺灣沒有種族歧視、漢原平等，我保證看倌是漢人。

我不否認部落酗酒問題嚴重。但須問，為甚麼部落有酗酒問題？光復前，日本人給漢人槍，漢人把原住民當獵物。光復後，經濟現代化，幾千年培養出來的體魄、傳統生活技能沒有「經濟效益」；傳教士進部落，告訴族人，所有傳統信仰都是魔鬼的騙局、若穿傳統服裝就要下地獄、若唱傳統歌謠就要下地獄；好心的山服社進部落，告訴族人，所有外面世界的東西你們都必須學習，所有你們世界裏的東西我們都不想學習除了那個小米酒以外可不可以再來一杯？

原住民變成主流社會的玩偶，你們好可愛，唱一首「阿里山的姑娘」娛樂我們、跳一支舞娛樂我們、把姊妹女兒賣來娛樂我們、講講笑話娛樂我們、我們來寫劇本扭曲你們的文化來娛樂我們。原住民能不酗酒嗎？

。

看倌，我剛寫那句：「漢人好可愛，都很喜歡喝酒，」你的感受是甚麼？

Pretty interesting: names that are going extinct.

LINK

Here’s a story I collected from the Web, written by someone named Gunny.

The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win. 

Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away. KABOOM! 

He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney. KA-BLOOEY! 

Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph. BULLS-EYE! 

"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" 

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. 

The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. 

"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" 

"I don't want to talk to you," the old Muslim woman says. "You are not my son!" 

"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." 
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, 

"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !! 

Q: How do you get a Serb to set a world record doing push-ups?
A: Tell him, Do ten slowly and then stop.

LINK

This is so prophetic, it’s spooky. For everybody’s sake, let’s hope it doesn’t come true:

“As democracy is perfected, the office of the President represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their hearts’ desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.” 

– H L Mencken (1880 – 1956)

It never fails. Give a homeless person some money, and he’ll head straight to the nearest liquor store. Watch what happens when the donor follows.

布施很難。拿錢給街遊，掉頭就往酒品店跑，滿載而歸。布施的人追蹤，如影片所示…

結果發現街遊把錢拿去買吃的，送給其它街遊。窮人比較了解布施的重要，也比較能真布施。

至于為甚麼這位先生會淪落為街遊，是因為父母生病，孝子細心照顧，不料雙親相繼往生，孝子儲蓄也沒了，因為請假照顧父母所以工作也沒了。
LINK

無言~~

The only sport played on the moon is golf. On February 6, 1971, Alan Shepard hit a golf ball. 

If we keep building golf courses on earth, eventually our planet will look like the moon.

很合理吧

謝謝大家！我們「論語洋解，古思今想來翻傳」新課發表很順利，希望參加的人都有收穫。也希望大家不要忘記報名，九月十六日開課！星期二晚上七點到九點四十分，共十八周的課程。本週報名有優惠！

Tuesday night was a big step in a new direction for me. Instead of teaching English, I hope to teach Confucianism in community colleges. Last night I held a demonstration class. It went very well.

司機吃到飽，每月只要一千五，

但是想知道地址電話，要另外計費

。

夫：我清理磁碟。

婦：啊？？喔，我以為你說，「我請妳吃鱉。」

Any article with this riveting title is surely worth reading:
ONLY GOD CAN STOP PUBLIC URINATION
certainly a great step forward from Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires.

LINK 

In 1956, Samuel J. Seymour told of witnessing the assassination of President Lincoln. He was the last living witness. He incorrectly gave his age as 95, and died two months after the show was filmed. He may have been helped on his way by the host’s gift. 

LINK

二十幾年前，我們補習班課多、學生多。學生上課到一半離開教室，非常少見，一、兩年才遇到一次，通常是重大事件，可能要送醫院。

大約十五年前就開始懷疑，是不是年輕人膀胱不好，因為離教室的次數頻繁。但這會打擾教學、打斷同學專心，所以不鼓勵。

現在若有一堂課沒有人離開教室就很特別。要喝水、教室收訊不好、要上廁所，反正同學本來就不太專心，隨便。

I found this piece I copied from the web: Strange Cosmos: in 2013. I’d just like to add one person, the Republican candidate for President now in 2016.

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.  JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.  SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!  HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road? DONALD BUSH: We’re going to build, it’s unbelievable, you know I know how to build, so we’re going to build this wall, and it’ll be the greatest wall you’ve ever seen, because I know how to build walls, believe me, and we’re going to make sure no more of these chickens cross the road, because you don’t know, you just don’t know, they may be rapists, they may be terrorists, these chickens, why hasn’t Hillary vetted them? Why hasn’t Obama vetted them? Because they want the terrorists to win, and we’re going to, now listen, we’re going to make America white again, and it’s just too bad, now, ISIS, they boil chickens in cages, we’re going to win so much, and I think that chicken is a hen, let me get some tic tacs, you know how if you’re famous you can just grope any chick, we’re going to, it’s clear now, I’m really very rich, so that’s why, when they want, I’m very intelligent, so I, oh, it IS a hen, where are my tic tacs? GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.  DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?  COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.  BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.  AL GORE: I invented the chicken.  JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.  AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?  DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.  OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.  ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.  NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.  PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.  MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.  DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.  ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.  BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.  ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?  COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?  JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together ---- in peace.  BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2013, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2013. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.