You couldn't make up a story like this: here:::

管子地員：夫管仲之匡天下也，其施七尺。瀆田悉徙，五種無不宜，其立后而手實。其木宜蚖菕與杜松，其草宜楚棘，見是土也，命之曰五施，五七三十五尺，而至於泉，呼音中角，其水倉，其民彊。赤壚，歷彊肥，五種無不宜，其麻白，其布黃，其草宜白茅與雚，其木宜赤棠，見是土也，命之曰四施，四七二十八尺，而至於泉，呼音中商，其水白而甘，其民壽。黃唐，無宜也，唯宜黍秫也，宜縣澤，行廧落，地潤數毀，難以立邑置廧，其草宜黍秫與茅，其木宜櫄、擾、桑。見是土也，命之曰三施，三七二十一尺，而至於泉。呼音中宮，其泉黃而糗，流徙。斥埴，宜大菽與麥。其草宜萯雚，其木宜杞。見是土也，命之曰再施，二七十四尺，而至於泉，呼音中羽。其泉鹹，水流徙。黑埴，宜稻麥。其草宜苹蓨，其木宜白棠，見是土也，命之曰一施，七尺而至於泉，呼音中徵，其水黑而苦。

這類的記載，古籍常見，如淮南子墬形:

萬物之生而各異類……平土之人，慧而宜五穀。東方川穀之所注，日月之所出，其人兌形小頭，隆鼻大口，鳶肩企行，竅通於目，筋氣屬焉，蒼色主肝，長大早知而不壽；其地宜麥，多虎豹。

南方，陽氣之所積，暑濕居之，其人修形兌上，大口決，竅通於耳，血脈屬焉，赤色主心，早壯而夭；其地宜稻，多兕象。

西方高土，川穀出焉，日月入焉，其人面末僂，修頸卬行，竅通於鼻，皮革屬焉，白色主肺，勇敢不仁；其地宜黍，多旄犀。

北方幽晦不明，天之所閉也，寒水之所積也，蟄蟲之所伏也，其人翕形短頸，大肩下尻，竅通于陰，骨幹屬焉，黑色主腎，其人蠢愚，禽獸而壽；其地宜菽，多犬馬。

今才明白。古人安土重遷，非大事故則不遠離家鄉；自足自給，其物鮮由外地運來，食物尤難運；所食所用，多產于鄰里。其土若何、其水若何，則其人可知。何以知之？穀蔬果瓜，皆產于自地，其根深入土壤，吸收礦物質，其人斯居焉則自幼及老，體內所吸礦物質便然；水亦復如斯。水土中礦物質異，其人則不同。古人觀察入微，明了水土養民之理而有斯論。

倘若沒有中央山脈，整個中國東南亞地區的發展、歷史截然不同不同。

This rain graph shows clearly how well the Central Mountain Range in Taiwan blocks typhoons coming from the east, off the Pacific. This is today's typhoon, called Nanmadol/南瑪都颱風.

These things are relative. Thousands are being evacuated in the path of Hurricane Irene, only days after being traumatized by the great DC earthquake. Fortunately, we get lots of little earthquakes in Taiwan and few big ones, but to us, earthquakes are no great shakes, if you will pardon the pun. If Irene came to Taiwan, people would say, Oh how nice, it’s one of those little ones.

But an inch of snow in Taipei would bring down the government. So these things are relative.

臺北某一座八層樓的大樓需要請一個清潔工。一位太太來應徵，雙方滿意，決定當天開始上班；從電梯開始。工具拿了，開始工作，可是很奇怪，她弄了很久都不見人了。過了很久，只看到人來了，水桶、刷子、清潔劑一放，說，「這裏工作太累，我不作了，」揚長而去。

大樓管理員發現，原來她先到一樓，按了電梯，把門架開，清理電梯；然後爬樓梯到二樓，按了電梯，把門架開，清理電梯；然後爬樓梯到三樓，按了電梯，把門架開，清理電梯……

A cleaner was needed at an eight story building in Taipei. A middle aged lady applied for the job, was accepted, and decided to get right to work, starting with cleaning the elevator. She took the cleaning equipment, and was gone for a very long time. Then she showed up again, put down the equipment, said, "This work is too much for me, I quit" and was gone.

It turns out that first she took her cleaning equipment to the first floor, pushed the button for the elevator, wedged the door open, cleaned the elevator, and then walked up the stairs to the second floor. There she pushed the button for the elevator, wedged the door open, cleaned the elevator, and then walked up the stairs to the third floor….

It's nice to know people who work in high places.

You can see that this welder has on his safety equipment: sunglasses.

自從全面推廣英文教育以來，臺灣學生英文程度直線下落；我們有經驗的老師經常詫異于學生程度之差。

最近一位作文老師看到大學生寫my dot；老師莫測高深，問學生，何謂my dot？學生回答：我的重點。

嗨呀呀呀呀，程度實在太差！難不知道「我的重點」應該寫my heavy dot才對？

有心與無心

史記李將軍列傳 : 廣出獵，見草中石，以為虎而射之，中石沒鏃，視之石也。因復更射之，終不能復入石矣。

A valuable lesson for various occasions.

The great archer Li Kuang (see yesterday's post) was out hunting one day. He saw what he thought was a tiger crouching in the grass, so he shot it. The arrow went in all the way to the fletches. When he looked carefully, he realized it was a stone that happened to look like a tiger. He shot it again, but since he knew it was a stone, and not a tiger, every arrow he shot shattered, and he could not put an arrow into the stone again after that.

史記李將軍列傳 :

李將軍廣者，隴西成紀人也。其先曰李信，秦時為將，逐得燕太子丹者也。…匈奴大入上郡，天子使中貴人從廣勒習兵擊匈奴。中貴人將騎數十縱，見匈奴三人，與戰。三人還射，傷中貴人，殺其騎且盡。中貴人走廣。廣曰：「是必射雕者也。」廣乃遂從百騎往馳三人。三人亡馬步行，行數十里。廣令其騎張左右翼，而廣身自射彼三人者，殺其二人，生得一人，果匈奴射雕者也。已縛之上馬，望匈奴有數千騎，見廣，以為誘騎，皆驚，上山陳。廣之百騎皆大恐，欲馳還走。廣曰：「吾去大軍數十里，今如此以百騎走，匈奴追射我立盡。今我留，匈奴必以我為大 軍誘，必不敢擊我。」廣令諸騎曰：「前！」前未到匈奴陳二里所，止，令曰：「皆下馬解鞍！」其騎曰：「虜多且近，即有急，柰何？」廣曰：「彼虜以我為走，今皆解鞍以示不走，用堅其意。」於是胡騎遂不敢擊。有白馬將出護其兵，李廣上馬與十餘騎奔射殺胡白馬將，而復還至其騎中，解鞍，令士皆縱馬臥。是時會暮，胡兵終怪之，不敢擊。夜半時，胡兵亦以為漢有伏軍於旁欲夜取之，胡皆引兵而去。平旦，李廣乃歸其大軍。大軍不知廣所之，故弗從。

A lesson in strategy from one of the greatest archers in Chinese history, Li Kuang / Li Guan (c180BC ~ 119BC), a great general of the Western Han dynasty who fought against the Hsiungnu (Xiongnu, 匈奴, originally 玁狁), mounted nomads from the steppes north of China.

From The Records of the Historian (written around 100 BC ):

On one occasion when the Hsiungnu raided the Han borders, the emperor appointed Li to fight the raiders, and sent along a eunuch as a representative of the throne. The eunuch, riding with a dozen cavalry soldiers, spotted three Hsiungnu, and attacked them. The three Hsiungnu shot arrows, wounding the eunuch and killing most of the soldiers. The eunuch raced back to report to Li. Li said, "These must be marksmen." He took after the three archers with a hundred cavalry soldiers. The three Hsiungnu had lost their horses, and walked a long way from the place of the fight. Li had his soldiers spread out onto the flanks, and by himself shot all three of the marksmen, killing two and capturing one, who proved to be a great marksman. The prisoner had been tied on horseback when thousands of Hsiungnu horsemen appeared. When the Hsiungnu saw Li, they thought he was preparing an ambush, so they were frightened, and went uphill to prepare their battle array. The hundred soldiers with Li were frightened and wanted to run for their lives. Li said, "We are a long way from our base. If we attempt to run away, the Hsiungnu will kill us all. If we stay here, they will think that we are setting up an ambush, so they won’t attack." Li ordered the cavalry, "Forward!"

A short distance from the Hsiungnu forces, Li stopped, and ordered, "Dismount and remove saddles."

The soldiers said, "We are far outnumbered and the barbarians are so close, what will we do in case of emergency?"

Li said, "The barbarians think we will run, so we will take off our saddles to show that we are not running." The barbarians did not dare to attack them. A Hsiungnu general on a white horse moved out to protect his soldiers. Li mounted and, with a dozen soldiers, chased and killed the general on the white horse. Then they returned to the other Han cavalry soldiers, dismounted, and took off their saddles. Li told the soldiers to release their horses and to lie down.

It was almost dark by then. The barbarian soldiers were perplexed, and did not dare to attack. By midnight, the barbarian soldiers thought that the Han were preparing to ambush them in the darkness, so they took their horses and fled. At daylight, Li Kuang returned to his base.

(The soldiers on duty there had no idea where Li had gone, so they had not gone to his rescue.)

Great moments in computer translation.

小鄰居來藉後門的一塊木頭來蛻皮。看樣子，大概是頓頭蛇。

One of our neighbors used a piece of wood by the back door to shed its skin.

Don't you wish they did this to illegally parked cars in your city?

In the wilds of Russia, a bear attacks a man. This video is not for the faint of heart.

HERE:::

you'll probably want to rush out and buy a bear cub. Probably not a good idea, in the long run.

Alice in Wonderland有一段mad tea party，其中一個角色，是一位瘋癲的hatter(製帽師傅)；英文一句as mad as a hatter，即「瘋癲」的意思。十八、九世紀，製帽時治氈定型用大量水銀{汞}。水銀是重金屬，日久囤積體內，就容易汞中毒。輕則發抖不禁、癲狂，進而心情乖張、喜怒無常、易暴怒，重而皮鬆脫而身亡。

唐帝姓李，故假老子李聃為祖宗而崇道。唐朝李皇遺傳不長壽，多中風而駕崩。因此，歷代唐皇，煉丹求仙把自己毒死者多。

唐武宗雖有中興之志，卻亦求長生不老而服丹，因而行為乖戾、喜怒無常。病入膏肓時脫皮，方士竟賀為「脫胎換骨」！嗚呼哀哉，享年三十三。

猶如南唐先主李昪，亦服金石、求長生，因而暴躁，常譴罰近臣，人心惶惶。

聯想到另一位喜怒無常出名的皇帝，乃秦始皇是也。秦始皇統一天下時三十九歲，便覺人生白駒，求長生不老，煉丹服藥。或因服汞而癲乎？

有人的愛像烏龍茶：很香，但要趕快喝完，因為如果放半年，味道退盡了。要嘛，就得等二、三十年，讓它變成老茶，要嘛就倒掉再買。

有人的愛像普洱茶：新茶的茶氣很強，但越放越淳。

難怪現代人喜歡喝咖啡，因為多數流行文化的人的愛像咖啡；很香，要趁熱喝，因為一旦冷卻，根本無法入口下嚥。

今天下午到八德路參加阿超的藝專同學會，過微風廣場時，101上有彩虹。A rainbow appeared over Taipei 101 this afternoon. Plus birds.

Scientists have discovered that a giant rat in Africa kills with its poisonous hair. here:::

giant rats with poisonous hair.... sounds like the audience at a Country Western concert.