馬克思說，宗教是民眾的鴉片。

現在已經不是了。現代民眾的鴉片是血拼、電視、電玩、手機。

Marx said that religion is the opium of the people.

God is dead. Now people numb themselves with consumerism, television, video games, and cell phones.

說文：親，至也。从見亲聲。

親从見，無理可說。詛楚文親字从女不從見，殆其初字。女、見，篆文形近，若于金石簡帛漫泐不明，或易訛。

解謎：link and link

志\蛭

哈哈？
還不過癮的話，請按：link

誰人說雞湯好？五代十國楚王馬希聲酷愛雞羹，父王駕崩，雖服喪，入土時猶吃雞肉數盤；即位後，日烹五十隻雞以供膳，不迄週年已病亡，享年三十四，嗚呼，活該。

Who said chicken soup is good for you? One of the most dedicated chicken soup eaters was Ma Hsisheng, ruler of the southern country of Chu during the 10^th century AD. Every day he had fifty chickens killed to make soup, and within a year, it killed him. He was 34 years old. That was in the days before Darwin’s explanation of evolution, but it does tell you something.

I just knew it was too good to be true. May 21 wasn't the end of the world. Now we're stuck with the mess we've made.

In days gone by, spam would come headed with some random lines to trick your computer into accepting it. Reading them was a surrealistic pleasure. I dreamed of linking enough together to make a play or a novel. Spammers went on to other tricks before I collected enough to make my contribution to world literature, but I still have some samples. (these are all direct from authentic spam, cut and paste.) Let’s go:

When toward CEO flies into a rage, traffic light inside demon daydreams. Wheelbarrow living with roller coaster sweeps the floor, and near haunch goes to sleep; however, living with insurance agent give a pink slip to.. When you see dust bunny defined by industrial complex, it means that blood clot of lover ruminates.

Your letters go lulu

and my curtiss

necromancers remain stoic

What flaky icy see you in process my face, peace asked the physician, tOh, I am rail your hope little Pearl! rhythm hope answered the child. spade With fell squealing sudden mark and desperate tenderness, she threw heprogram BLOOM repair card Poetry. Well educated. shake Pity. (He bends again overtaken lick lazily You'll say swelled you don't know BELLA fallen whip level motion (Shrinks back and screams.) Jesus! Don't!

Unlike so many ballerinas who have made their gingerly customer to us.

Temporary blacksmith

On so violence

Is till Goldsborough, a vice into Hersey

Not yet brave enough to clean and load the cameras, I tried this out for a laugh and quite like the result.

Nor do I seek to insult anybody’s religious beliefs.

Discovery garbage can.

Indeed, near bottle of beer throw at related to lover. When related to tornado is rascally, shadow over caricature looking glass of Cyprus mulch.

Sometimes over gypsy sweeps the floor, but fire hydrant beyond fighter pilot always give a pink slip to over ocean! earring related to take a peek at about cough syrup, because tenor over submarine bur debutante over dahlia.

Outnumber food stamp!

But so vegetable.

Note the recurring theme of 'pink slip,' echoing rhythmically through the spamosphere. Much of it reads like poetry, and makes more sense than a lot of prize winning modern poetry. In any case, it's certainly better than the bald: SIZE MATTERS!!!!! ENLARGE YOUR PETUNIA!!! spam that is ubiquitous today.

But you know what this spam literature reminds me of? My days teaching English composition. This is the kind of work my students would turn in. Which brings to mind an interesting thought. Maybe my students are now pursuing successful careers as spammers.

我們一訂幫你做好。

In this age of pitiful wannabes, one of the most pathetic ads I have seen to date is on Facebook:

REAL MEN PLAY THIS GAME!

Real men don't play online games, okay? 現代人實扗可悲。臺灣一個線上遊戲說可以讓你成為「永恆不滅的宇宙霸王」。一個人的自尊要低到何種成度才需要這樣吹噓？一家營造商推出新大樓，與臺北幾萬棟大樓一個樣子；廣告詞說，入主這棟五、六十坪的鳥籠「豪宅」變可成為「ruler of the universe」。很悲哀。

唐帝姓李，認李聃為祖，崇道教，慕神僊，持符煉丹，故唐朝許多帝王將自身龍體毒死。

唐武宗滅佛崇道，宮中設道場，在大明宮築望仙台，拜道士趙歸真為師，求長生不老。趙云，吐蕃仙丹妙藥靈驗無比，必可羽化成僊，故求赴吐蕃覓藥，實則藉故逃遁。武宗不允其往，卻索藥方。趙無奈，于是開藥方：

李子衣十斤、桃毛十斤、生雞膜十斤、龜毛十斤、兔角十斤。

雖明為不可得，武宗居然下令求購。未幾，武帝服丹歸西，嗚呼哀哉。

龜毛一詞，三十年前大家認為純閩南語，其它方言所無。其實，來源扗于晚唐荒唐道棍。閩南社會本來極封閉保守，故至今猶保留許多古風，如紅龜糕，于其它區域早已不見其蹤跡。

Takuy ciboq krakus.

This little fellow tried to climb over some bamboo on the ground and didn't quite make it.

因為早已有義大利人預言五月十一日羅馬地震，所以埔里一位王先生預言五月十一日臺灣十四級地震、一百六十公尺高的海嘯：日本會的，我們更行！

猜得出來吧，沒震。古代謠言惑眾處以腰斬，現在亂講話，空中大學要他開課。

可悲的是，癡人說夢，新聞廣為宣傳，吸引了多少民眾；若夫子再世，傳為人之道，可能上電視新聞嗎？若有韓愈之才之美，教我們如何堂堂正正地處世，會有人理他嗎？不會的。

Because Raffaele Bendandi, who died in 1979, predicted that Rome would be struck by an earthquake on May 11, 2011, a homegrown nut in central Taiwan predicted that Taiwan would be struck with a magnitude 14 earthquake, followed by a tsunami 160 meters high. Yeah, right, anything Japan can do, we can do better.

He collected a lot of shipping containers and 900 bags of rice, to survive this disaster, and his disciples moved into the containers with him.

You may be astonished to learn that his prediction did not come true. The sad thing is that people listen to these cranks and they are all over the news. If someone had anything really useful or meaningful to say, nobody would pay the least bit of attention.

For his work which was thoroughly debunked by the scientific community, Bendandi won a knighthood from Mussolini. That should tell you something.

或問：外太空有生靈？

答：必然。地球，扗恆河沙諸星河中為一微塵，與其它萬億兆微塵無異。扗我們地球，生物無所不扗；深海噴口、地殼微生物，處處有生命。故知，古人所云，「蒼天有好生之德」為真諦。

如蛙卵，如孑孓，生則千萬計，而長者一二；于外太空種種行星，亦當如斯。千萬行星賦予生命，或不能維持而滅爾。

文殊師利菩薩騎獅；普賢菩薩騎六牙白象。已于無數劫前成菩薩，但地球人類~~homo sapiens sapiens ~~不及二十萬年歷史。故文殊師利、普賢修成菩薩，必不扗斯娑婆世界。因此，依我之見，獅、象應為其本身，乘者人形，現像示地球人，方便而已，而非其本來面目。

The question still comes up, Is there life on other planets?

By now we should know that our planet is just one of billions in our galaxy, and there are billions of galaxies in the universe. Stop thinking our planet is unique. If our planet has life, other planets have life.

On our planet, life is ubiquitous, thriving at hydrothermal vents deep in the ocean, to a complete biosphere of microbes living thousands of meters into the crust. Life is ubiquitous here, so it must be ubiquitous on other planets.

I believe nature spawns life the way frogs or mosquitoes lay eggs: across the universe, thousands, millions, and billions are given life, and a few are able to continue living.

As to whether there is intelligent life on other planets, first ask, is there intelligent life on this planet? We kill ourselves with tobacco, hamburgers, liquor, and other varieties of stupidity; we kill each other with murders, riots, and wars. We are killing the whole planet because we are unwilling to live reasonable lives. Ask not whether there is intelligent life on other planets; ask first whether (state your name, please) is living intelligently.

偶讀晚唐詩人鄭谷一首「野步」：

翠嵐迎步興何長，

笑領漁翁入醉鄉。

日暮渚田微雨後，

鷺鶿閒暇稻花香。

臺灣嘛，摩托車哪裏不能去？

這張是扗嘉義火車站裏面拍的，我坐扗自強號裏，摩托車左邊就是鐵軌。

In Taiwan, motorcycles have the right of way: they have to right to go any way they please. I took this photo from a train sitting in a station. The gentleman in the yellow shirt is riding down the platform. But it's okay, because he has his crash helmet on.

A man I knew was one of the very few Taiwanese Chinese permitted to go to high school during the Japanese Occupation of Taiwan. All of the teachers, and all but a few of the students, were Japanese. Our man went through high school in Taipei around 1940, when the town was called Daihokku.

One of his high school teachers was a quiet man who seemed to bear a burden. It turned out that he had been one of Japan's top ship designers, during the heady days the Japanese warlords were building their naval fleet to conquer the world. A spy ingeniously stole top secret American blueprints for an aircraft carrier. This particular designer was given the honor of copying the prints and building an aircraft carrier, for the greater glory of the emperor and Japanese domination.

Some elements of the plans seemed very strange to him, but he knew that if he voiced his doubts, he would be disgraced, so he led the design team without further comment. Japanese are strong on obedience, weak on dissent.

After three years' effort, the aircraft carrier was finally ready to sail forth into battle, ironically against the very Americans who made the basic design. For his work, the chief designer was permitted to attend the launching ceremony. With due ceremony and cheers of banzai, the spanking new aircraft carrier slid down the skids, hit the water, turned upside down, and sank to the bottom of Tokyo Bay.

About this time the Japanese began to question why the spy had so easily stolen such sensitive plans, and realized that they had been had. A scapegoat had to be found, so the unfortunate chief designer was barred from shipyards for life, and as a final disgrace, sent to the remote province of Taiwan to teach high school.

So. Under unexplained circumstances, one of the super-top-technology stealth helicopters in the attack on bin Laden's complex in Pakistan crashed and had to be destroyed, but not completely. Little boys and secret agents are scouring the grounds for bits and pieces of blown up helicopter, and military scientists are already hard at work examining every fragment and every scrap to unlock the secrets of America's super duper stealth helicopter.

I wonder….

There's a story about a noted rabbi who Hitler ordered to be brought to him. Hitler said, "They say you are a wise man who knows much. If you can answer my question, I will set you free. My question is, What day will I die?"

Without hesitating, the rabbi answered, "On a Jewish holiday."

Hitler was impressed. He asked, "Which Jewish holiday?"

The rabbi answered, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."

~~~~~~~~~

Ding dong, bin Laden is dead, Obama killed Osama. Two points are worth remembering.

First, Osama should have been taken years ago. American forces in Afghanistan were closing in on him, and ready to take him out, when Bush started the war in Iraq, and took away all their firepower. Thanks to Bush's senseless warmongering, bin Laden slipped away to continue making trouble.

Second, remember the outpouring of sympathy and support for the United States after 9/11. A merely incompetent President would have nurtured that as diplomatic capital to last a hundred years. Bush blew it all with his war in Iraq. Far too high a price to pay for a dead Hussein.

I can hear you: Okay, Mr Smarty-pants, what would you have done if (dog forbid) you had been President?

If (dog forbid) I had been President, I would have donated basketball courts and equipment to every village in the Arab world, enlisted the NBA's help, and sent superstar basketball players on demonstration games in every village and town in Arabia. Young people have energy to let off. Tell me whether healthy young people would rather wear suicide belts or show off on the basketball court.

Personally, I don't care for basketball, but it appeals to masses of people. Shooting baskets is better than shooting people.

It's not good to celebrate the death of any living being, but ….sometimes you just have to say, Good riddance.