前不久扗少輔院做家族排列,一群學生加輔導員照老師的指示分群:血型A的站一起、AB型的站一起、B型的站一起、O型的站一起;依照生肖分組;依照星座分;依照出生地分;每一個人都有自己的位置。老師說,「依照排行分:老大站這邊、老么站這邊、排行中間的站這邊、獨生子站這邊。」幾個同學指一個學生譏笑說,「私生子!私生子站哪裏?」我馬上把那個學生抓過來,開始喊,「來!私生子扗這裏,我們是私生子!」還抓幾個跟我比較熟的同學過來站一起,我們叫,「私生子站這裏!」大家會心地笑。
我突然生出一種感覺,有的「先進」女性,為了表示自己能幹強悍、不需要男人(或者無法與別人相處),就買不認識的人的精子,人工受孕;嬰胎一形成,就已經沒有父親:這是多麼自私的!替孩子決定:你不需要爸爸;這是多自大、狂妄!哪一個人不需要父母?為了自我,一廂情願為孩子作這麼重大的決定,不給孩子一個爸爸,就不該生。
Not long ago the Reform School held a Family Constellation workshop. We were grouping according to blood type, to horoscope sign, to birth year, to birthplace; each person has his own position. The facilitator said, "Now group according to your position in your family: first kids here, youngest kids here, middle kids here, only kids here." Some of the boys pointed at another one and said derisively, "Illegitimate kid, where do the illegitimate kids go?" I immediately pulled him over and called out, "Here! All illegitimate kids stand here! We are the illegitimate kids here!" I pulled in a few boys I am more familiar with, and we all stood together, shouting, "Illegitimate kids stand here!" Everybody laughed, the tension resolved.
But I was suddenly struck by a thought: some modern women, to prove that they are strong and capable and don't need men (and also maybe to prove that they cannot maintain a relationship with another person) have babies through artificial insemination bought from an unknown sperm donor. As soon as the baby is conceived, it has no father. How selfish is that? It is hubris to decide for your child that, You do not need a father, or, You do not need a mother. Who does not need both a father and a mother? If a woman is so egotistical that she abrogates a child’s right to have a father and a mother and is unwilling to give her child a father, she should not have a child.