WHAT THE STEWARDESS WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY:

Please remember to take your belongings when you leave.

WHAT THE STEWARDESS ACTUALLY SAID:

Please remember to take your blongs when you live.

WHAT THE SIGN SAID:

We hope you have a pleasant trip.

WHAT I THOUGHT IT SAID:

We hope you have a peasant trio.

My mother was born in 1918, when Woodrow Wilson was President. She survived the Influenza Epidemic, the Depression, the Dust Bowl, she studied painting under Grant Wood (American Gothic), drew maps for the President and the Joint Chiefs of Staff during WWII, drafted for CalTech Geology when the moonrocks were brought back by Apollo 11, managed a pizza company in Saigon during the Viet Nam War and then worked in a concrete boat company, managed a Taekwondo studio in Hawaii, and for many years edited at Nguoi Viet. She was a woman who held firmly to morality, and right and wrong.

She died peacefully in her sleep sometime during the morning of July 8.

I won't be posting on this blog for a week or two.

Valor is required to attempt to learn numbers in the Tsou language. Okay, let's start, 1 is coni, right? Yes, unless you're saying 1 person, then it's cihi; one (piece) is cini, one (year) is nso, one (time) is nusu, and one (night) I think is ki, but I could very well be wrong. On all of this. You get the idea, though. Let's not even talk about the numbers for a person's age.

Here is the basic set, as taught to me by Ba'i, and validated by others, with wry smiles on their faces: 1 coni, 2 yuso, 3 tuyu, 4 suptu, 5 eimo, 6 namu, 7 pitu, 8 voju, 9 sio, 10 masku.

Tsou, Tayal, and Saisiat (all Taiwan aborigine languages) are the earliest Austronesian languages, and some of the most ancient languages on earth. Here is how we count in Tayal, in the Squliq dialect of Wulai.

1 qutux, 2 sazing, 3 ciwan (or cuqan), 4 bayat, 5 magan, 6 tzyu, 7 pitu, 8 spat, 9 qeru, 10 mbu. You can see that they are totally different.

Totally different? Notice that 7. Tsou pitu is pronounced sort of like the English words BE-do, and Tayal pitu is pronounced be-DO, but you can see the resemblance.

Now the plot thickens (dramatic music, please). I was reading about another Austronesian language, Kapampangan, spoken by a couple million people in the Philippines. Here are their numbers: 1 metung (isa), 2 adua, 3 atlu, 4 apat, 5 lima, 6 anam, 7 pitu, 8 walu, 9 siyam, 10 apulu.

Does something stand out? Look at that 7. Pitu. How about that!

What is it with Austronesian languages and 7? I have no idea, yet. However, time will prove that it was the result of transmission by ancient Egyptians flying on spaceships from Sirius. Mark my words.

Teacher to class: The Iliad tells the story of how the Greeks attacked toy. I mean, how the geeks attract Troy. I mean, how the Greeks attract toy… can I just skip it?

Overheard on 開封街

二十歲出頭的上班族男：我每次要講英文，甚麼都忘記。

Twenty something office worker: Every time I have to speak English, I just forget everything.

How do you keep your shoes dry when you ride your motorcycle on a rainy day? Why, pack them in a plastic bag, as did this young man I photographed in Tainan a couple months ago.

從前，一對泰雅夫妻喝醉了，在卓蘭街上吵架，大家來看熱鬧。夫必須顧尊嚴，所以舉起拳頭對婦吼，「我這個手打下去，有二十萬眼睛在看！」威勢赳赳，婦畏縮，夫手放下，很親切地問，「老婆，妳好嗎？」

Tayal society places great importance on a person's position, be it high or low, and that person's dignity.

Some years ago, a Tayal husband and wife got drunk and were quarreling on a street in Takulan (Chuolan, Miaoli). A crowd gathered. The husband had to assert his dignity, so he raised his fist and roared at his wife, "If this hand of mine strikes, 200,000 eyes are watching!" His wife cowered. The husband lowered his fist and said to her very gently, "Dear, are you all right?"