五六年前一個學生問我一個奇怪的問題。他說他申請到了Kansas的某一所大學，可是他猶豫不敢去，因為有人跟他說Kansas墳墓很多。他問我是不是真的。
我說我從來沒聽說Kansas墳墓比別州多；當然有人住就有人死，所以墳墓一定是有的，但不至于特別多。
他堅持他聽到的就是Kansas墳墓多，陰氣會不會很重？
我跟他講，我媽是Kansas人，從來沒聽她講那裡墳墓特別多；我好友Roger也是Kansas人，從沒聽他說鬧鬼的是事。
學生還是怕怕的。
我百思不解，怎麼會有這種想法？
事情過了一兩年後我才恍然大悟。
知道原因嗎？
他認為Kansas墓園多，
一定是因為
有人告訴他
Kansas有很多
牧原。
HORRID HALLOWEEN!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 30, 2006
The wonders of the Internet! Dutch and Indonesian zookeepers are working to develop ape-proof computer monitors. Once that is accomplished, they hope to start an on-line dating service…. for orangutans. Orangutans in different zoos will be able to get to know each other, and if they are compatible, the zookeepers will arrange dates.
If that inarticulate Irishman you've been ogling on your online dating service looks like he really needs a shave, maybe you'd better check your URL.
If that inarticulate Irishman you've been ogling on your online dating service looks like he really needs a shave, maybe you'd better check your URL.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
"… a videotape of an Army psychology program run at Fort Bliss using military police officers. The psychologists divided all the guards working one of our military prisons into two groups. One group of officers was assigned the role of temporary inmates; the others remained prison guards. The real reason for this test was not revealed.
"What army psychiatrists were actually attempting to determine was how the act of granting complete power to one group over another might escalate both groups toward extreme violence. The MPs who were to remain guards were only told that the military was evaluating escape possibilities … and to be especially vigilant. The guards pretending to be inmates were told to resist authority and to look for any possible way to break out.
"What transpired was amazing. The guards assigned to the role of prisoners didn't like being inmates. They had done nothing wrong. But their old friends were now hazing them, walking down the prison tiers ringing their batons across the bars, keeping them awake all night so they would be too tired to attempt anything. The men under lockdown became angrier, the captor guards more aggressive. After a week, sporadic incidents of violence broke out between men who had only a few days before been close friends. In the second week, the army called off the test because a violent fight broke out between the two groups, which almost resulted in the death of a guard.
"The lesson of this video was that absolute power without oversight can quickly morph into murderous rage. By the same token, complete loss of power, without appeal, can escalate behavior to exactly the same place.”
-- Stephen J Cannell, Cold Hit
Sounds like the Cultural Revolution.
"What army psychiatrists were actually attempting to determine was how the act of granting complete power to one group over another might escalate both groups toward extreme violence. The MPs who were to remain guards were only told that the military was evaluating escape possibilities … and to be especially vigilant. The guards pretending to be inmates were told to resist authority and to look for any possible way to break out.
"What transpired was amazing. The guards assigned to the role of prisoners didn't like being inmates. They had done nothing wrong. But their old friends were now hazing them, walking down the prison tiers ringing their batons across the bars, keeping them awake all night so they would be too tired to attempt anything. The men under lockdown became angrier, the captor guards more aggressive. After a week, sporadic incidents of violence broke out between men who had only a few days before been close friends. In the second week, the army called off the test because a violent fight broke out between the two groups, which almost resulted in the death of a guard.
"The lesson of this video was that absolute power without oversight can quickly morph into murderous rage. By the same token, complete loss of power, without appeal, can escalate behavior to exactly the same place.”
-- Stephen J Cannell, Cold Hit
Sounds like the Cultural Revolution.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
My mother's comments on her 88th birthday:"A lot of old people spend all their time complaining about being old. You can't expect to be as active at 66 as you were at 16, that's ridiculous. You have to be thankful for what you've got.
"Being realistically thankful is an important part of life.
"Look at the world today. I eat well every day, I have a nice house to live in, I have clean clothes to wear, I walk 2 or 3 miles every day, and I still have my own job. I can stand on my own two feet. I am so fortunate! Think of all the suffering in the world today! Feeling fortunate makes you feel better.”
Happy birthday, Mom.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Last time I went through Hong Kong, I bought four kinds of rare tea. The Peace Monkey King太平猴魁 has a pleasant, but not exactly tea-like taste. Silver Ears銀耳 from Szechwan四川, tastes much like Dragon Well龍井, but is slightly sour. Longevity Eyebrows壽眉 makes an excellent after-meal drink, cleaning your intestines and helping digestion. But Furry Peak毛峰 in a porcelain pot gives a sour bitter flavor, and in a pottery pot tastes exactly like urine. Blech.
When Chan wrote that he was coming from Hong Kong to visit us, I wrote and asked him to buy me some more Peace Monkey King, and see if he could find me some Furry Tip毛尖, a tea I had heard of but never seen. He brought me a splendid bag of Peace Monkey King, and told me, I couldn't find Furry Tip, but I found something close. A tip is like a peak, right? Well, I've got you some tea called Furry Peak.
Bless you, Chan, it took me almost two years to gag down that bag of Furry Peak. Most of it I foisted off on unsuspecting guests, explaining while I made it that Furry Peak is a rare, hard to buy tea (true) sold at great cost here in Taipei (also true – but nobody ever buys it twice), and then, with the air of bestowing a singular honor, I would let the poor sucker have the whole potful.
This spring Chan had another vacation that he couldn't see spending in Hong Kong. I'm coming to Taiwan, he wrote, is there anything I can buy you? Yes, I wrote, see if you can pick up some tea like Sparrow Tongue雀舌 or Common Waterears普洱, anything, anything, but you'd better be sure not to get me more Furry Peak!
Chan came, and cheerily presented me with a nice big sack of Furry Peak. I smiled, a bit crookedly perhaps, and clenched my teeth.
It came out that he had read my injunction, but forgotten the 'not.’
God wants me to drink Furry Peak, I determined. But how can there be any tea outside India and Japan that tastes so wretched? It must be the way I'm making it. So I began to experiment, using different pots, different cups, different water temperatures, different steeping times. To no avail. The only time I thought I was making some progress, I had washed the tea leaves in cold water, put them in an old glazed pot, poured in warm water, and almost immediately poured it out into a white cup. Mmm, better, better, now we’re getting someplace. But I had to be honest with myself. I say it's better because it has no taste at all. Try again. Steep a while longer. Now that's much better, I said, probing my gums with my tongue, it actually has a sweetish taste that is really quite pleasing. But then I realized that the sweetish taste which is really quite pleasing was actually the residue of the sugar-loaded red bean soup that had followed lunch. No use, I despaired, I will poison myself with this damned tea before I have learned how to make it.
Actually, though, I think one of two things will happen.
Either it will turn out that there is no way to make this stuff potable, and that it is such a rare tea for the simple reason that no-one in his right mind would want to buy it.
Or it will turn out that, once the trick of preparation has been discovered, it will be exquisite beyond comprehension, and that it is so rare because of the difficulty of coaxing such magnificence from a tea plant.
In which case I will probably never be able to buy it again.
========
Written in 1982
========
Epilogue, 2006
Several years after I wrote that I found out that my friend the gourmet, Mr Chou from Jianghsi 江西周大哥, had watched his grandfather and granduncles make Furry Peak, and he remembered how they made it. They used a fine 景德鎮 porcelain pot, poured in water only about 70C, and steeped the tea for "a stick of incense.”
"A stick of incense? You're kidding!”
"Oh, in my hometown, our incense is short and thin, so a stick is only about fifteen minutes.”
So I got out my finest porcelain pot, heated the water to only about 70C, and under Chou's careful supervision steeped the Furry Peak for about fifteen minutes.
Chou affirmed that it tasted just like the FP his grandfather made, but it still wasn't very good. I'll stick with 文山包種 green tea from Pinglin, a couple ridges over the mountains to the northeast.
When Chan wrote that he was coming from Hong Kong to visit us, I wrote and asked him to buy me some more Peace Monkey King, and see if he could find me some Furry Tip毛尖, a tea I had heard of but never seen. He brought me a splendid bag of Peace Monkey King, and told me, I couldn't find Furry Tip, but I found something close. A tip is like a peak, right? Well, I've got you some tea called Furry Peak.
Bless you, Chan, it took me almost two years to gag down that bag of Furry Peak. Most of it I foisted off on unsuspecting guests, explaining while I made it that Furry Peak is a rare, hard to buy tea (true) sold at great cost here in Taipei (also true – but nobody ever buys it twice), and then, with the air of bestowing a singular honor, I would let the poor sucker have the whole potful.
This spring Chan had another vacation that he couldn't see spending in Hong Kong. I'm coming to Taiwan, he wrote, is there anything I can buy you? Yes, I wrote, see if you can pick up some tea like Sparrow Tongue雀舌 or Common Waterears普洱, anything, anything, but you'd better be sure not to get me more Furry Peak!
Chan came, and cheerily presented me with a nice big sack of Furry Peak. I smiled, a bit crookedly perhaps, and clenched my teeth.
It came out that he had read my injunction, but forgotten the 'not.’
God wants me to drink Furry Peak, I determined. But how can there be any tea outside India and Japan that tastes so wretched? It must be the way I'm making it. So I began to experiment, using different pots, different cups, different water temperatures, different steeping times. To no avail. The only time I thought I was making some progress, I had washed the tea leaves in cold water, put them in an old glazed pot, poured in warm water, and almost immediately poured it out into a white cup. Mmm, better, better, now we’re getting someplace. But I had to be honest with myself. I say it's better because it has no taste at all. Try again. Steep a while longer. Now that's much better, I said, probing my gums with my tongue, it actually has a sweetish taste that is really quite pleasing. But then I realized that the sweetish taste which is really quite pleasing was actually the residue of the sugar-loaded red bean soup that had followed lunch. No use, I despaired, I will poison myself with this damned tea before I have learned how to make it.
Actually, though, I think one of two things will happen.
Either it will turn out that there is no way to make this stuff potable, and that it is such a rare tea for the simple reason that no-one in his right mind would want to buy it.
Or it will turn out that, once the trick of preparation has been discovered, it will be exquisite beyond comprehension, and that it is so rare because of the difficulty of coaxing such magnificence from a tea plant.
In which case I will probably never be able to buy it again.
========
Written in 1982
========
Epilogue, 2006
Several years after I wrote that I found out that my friend the gourmet, Mr Chou from Jianghsi 江西周大哥, had watched his grandfather and granduncles make Furry Peak, and he remembered how they made it. They used a fine 景德鎮 porcelain pot, poured in water only about 70C, and steeped the tea for "a stick of incense.”
"A stick of incense? You're kidding!”
"Oh, in my hometown, our incense is short and thin, so a stick is only about fifteen minutes.”
So I got out my finest porcelain pot, heated the water to only about 70C, and under Chou's careful supervision steeped the Furry Peak for about fifteen minutes.
Chou affirmed that it tasted just like the FP his grandfather made, but it still wasn't very good. I'll stick with 文山包種 green tea from Pinglin, a couple ridges over the mountains to the northeast.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
我媽第一次看到你們外國人，大嚇一跳，因為你們眼睛是透明的。她很好奇，你們眼珠子這樣，你們看得見嗎？糟糕，被妳們識破，其實我是憑聲音的。
//The first time my mother ever saw a foreigner, she was scared, because she thought you foreigners' eyes are transparent. She has always been curious about that. You Western people have transparent eyes, can you see anything?
\\Oh no, you've found us out! Actually I rely on sounds.
話又說回來，黑玻璃、透明玻璃，哪一個看得清楚？搞不好是你們黑眼珠的人才看不見。
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Steph went to a Paul Simon concert recently. First, I would like to ask, what's this about the Stones? I mean, come on! Why not the Dave Clark Five. Ok, I've got that out of my system. This is what she wrote:
It was great, had a wonderful time enjoying every minute of concert! There's a, what shall I say, a gentleness? about Paul Simon. The Stones were FABULOUS DARLING!! They were over the top, and stayed there, and I may have mentioned a time or ten that seeing (hearing) Mick Jagger gave me new respect for The Vocalist, various operas notwithstanding. They don't hype the Stones as The Greatest Rock'n'Roll Band for nothing.
But Paul Simon, ah. Different. Going 95 miles an hour? No strain, no breaking rocks; just a gentle, peaceful wave. Piece of Cake! 95? Easy. The music just pouring out. This calm-type guy did have TWO complete drum set-ups. Just to show he knows what he's doing, all right! He played the old songs like a man who is older now. More feeling, less effort. As if ~ the Stones show that they've still "got it," and better than ever. Paul Simon plays "Sound of Silence" or "Bridge Over Troubled Water," without Garfunkle's vocals ~ with the "plain old" Paul Simon vocals, not trying to be Art Garfunkle, just singing the song, and playing, nothing to prove? As if, "of COURSE he's better, he's older now"... instead of, "he's older, but still good"...
I told Erin that the "places where the ragged people go" had a lot more anger back then, breaking away from (scorned by) the Rock Hudson - Doris Day world, and the way he sang it Friday night had the memory of that, and the feeling and talent. Plus, he was singing as the age he is now, with the understanding and experience he has now, and the memory of then; and the FABULOUS DARLING MUSIC! was even better, imagine that, having matured into complete freshness! ~ with "world music" rhythms, dazzling instruments and 2 drum sets. They were knocking them down and tearing the place up, but no destruction. It's like the ocean doesn't "HAVE TO" rage to be mighty.
We were in the 5th row from the stage at the Greek Theater (outdoor amphitheater) at Berkeley, WOW!!! At the end, we all had our hands up, standing and clapping. Paul Simon had his hands up to, kind of waving to the crowd. He made a pointing-finger and pointed to someone, paused, nodded, then turned and pointed to us. We had our hands up already, clapping. I pointed back to him, and he nodded, then turned and waved so gently to the crowd. We were all clapping like crazy. It was the end of the third or fourth curtain call. If I knew how to scream, I would've joined in the screaming and whistling. Erin was calling, "WOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
After that, we were slowly jostling out with the crowd, and I found myself passing a young woman a row up. I recognized the profile of her wild, kinky hair. It was in a number of points. Earlier, she had leaped into the little space in front of the stage and begun dancing, with a lot of arms and the points of her hair, in silhouette, waving like dark flames.
As she bent forward to gather her things, I bent toward her and said quietly, "Beautiful dancing." She started to look up and say thank you, but then she felt my acknowledgement was a recognition of her gift, not a compliment. She was young. Slender, muscular, much smaller than I had thought. Australian Aborigine body-type? Anyway, she felt me intuitively, that was so cool. We spent a small moment with our foreheads barely touched together. A small moment of stillness holding for a heartbeat, then sweeping on in the natural movement of the crowd.
It was great, had a wonderful time enjoying every minute of concert! There's a, what shall I say, a gentleness? about Paul Simon. The Stones were FABULOUS DARLING!! They were over the top, and stayed there, and I may have mentioned a time or ten that seeing (hearing) Mick Jagger gave me new respect for The Vocalist, various operas notwithstanding. They don't hype the Stones as The Greatest Rock'n'Roll Band for nothing.
But Paul Simon, ah. Different. Going 95 miles an hour? No strain, no breaking rocks; just a gentle, peaceful wave. Piece of Cake! 95? Easy. The music just pouring out. This calm-type guy did have TWO complete drum set-ups. Just to show he knows what he's doing, all right! He played the old songs like a man who is older now. More feeling, less effort. As if ~ the Stones show that they've still "got it," and better than ever. Paul Simon plays "Sound of Silence" or "Bridge Over Troubled Water," without Garfunkle's vocals ~ with the "plain old" Paul Simon vocals, not trying to be Art Garfunkle, just singing the song, and playing, nothing to prove? As if, "of COURSE he's better, he's older now"... instead of, "he's older, but still good"...
I told Erin that the "places where the ragged people go" had a lot more anger back then, breaking away from (scorned by) the Rock Hudson - Doris Day world, and the way he sang it Friday night had the memory of that, and the feeling and talent. Plus, he was singing as the age he is now, with the understanding and experience he has now, and the memory of then; and the FABULOUS DARLING MUSIC! was even better, imagine that, having matured into complete freshness! ~ with "world music" rhythms, dazzling instruments and 2 drum sets. They were knocking them down and tearing the place up, but no destruction. It's like the ocean doesn't "HAVE TO" rage to be mighty.
We were in the 5th row from the stage at the Greek Theater (outdoor amphitheater) at Berkeley, WOW!!! At the end, we all had our hands up, standing and clapping. Paul Simon had his hands up to, kind of waving to the crowd. He made a pointing-finger and pointed to someone, paused, nodded, then turned and pointed to us. We had our hands up already, clapping. I pointed back to him, and he nodded, then turned and waved so gently to the crowd. We were all clapping like crazy. It was the end of the third or fourth curtain call. If I knew how to scream, I would've joined in the screaming and whistling. Erin was calling, "WOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
After that, we were slowly jostling out with the crowd, and I found myself passing a young woman a row up. I recognized the profile of her wild, kinky hair. It was in a number of points. Earlier, she had leaped into the little space in front of the stage and begun dancing, with a lot of arms and the points of her hair, in silhouette, waving like dark flames.
As she bent forward to gather her things, I bent toward her and said quietly, "Beautiful dancing." She started to look up and say thank you, but then she felt my acknowledgement was a recognition of her gift, not a compliment. She was young. Slender, muscular, much smaller than I had thought. Australian Aborigine body-type? Anyway, she felt me intuitively, that was so cool. We spent a small moment with our foreheads barely touched together. A small moment of stillness holding for a heartbeat, then sweeping on in the natural movement of the crowd.
Monday, October 23, 2006
今天寫的跟往常一樣，都是狗屁的話。
In Cleveland recently, two girls, aged 12 and 13, ran away from home. They caught a bus for Minneapolis. One of the girls brought along her dog, Bambi. She told the driver Bambi was a guide dog. Once they got on the bus, they expressed their exuberance in their freedom by stuffing Bambi with junk food. All that junk food made Bambi so flatulent that havoc ensued: it really raised a stink. There was such a commotion on the bus about Bambi's proclamations that police were required to restore peace and order (order: Bambi supplied the odor). That's when the officers discovered the girls were runaways.
Who says I don't keep up on world events?
In Cleveland recently, two girls, aged 12 and 13, ran away from home. They caught a bus for Minneapolis. One of the girls brought along her dog, Bambi. She told the driver Bambi was a guide dog. Once they got on the bus, they expressed their exuberance in their freedom by stuffing Bambi with junk food. All that junk food made Bambi so flatulent that havoc ensued: it really raised a stink. There was such a commotion on the bus about Bambi's proclamations that police were required to restore peace and order (order: Bambi supplied the odor). That's when the officers discovered the girls were runaways.
Who says I don't keep up on world events?
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Saturday, October 21, 2006
The US and the ROC are both afflicted with disastrous presidents. The US may be able to undo the damage Bush is doing; I am beginning to worry the ROC may not be able to undo the damage Bean is doing.
President Bean, AKA Chen Shui Bian, has admitted to taking money illegally, explaining that he used it for "secret diplomacy." At least he didn't say if he told us where he spent the money he'd have to kill us. Because of this and other allegations of corruption and incompetence, hundreds of thousands of people have taken to the streets calling for him to step down. His response has been 不看不聽 don't look, don't listen, to pretend that the demonstrations do not exist. Hardly how a mature statesman would deal with the situation.
The other day college students knelt on the pavement in front of his office, begging him to see them and explain his outlook to them. They're lucky they didn't get arrested. Of course President Bean refused to see them. Recently he said, "I am the president elected by the people, so the people are supposed to respect me/我是民選的總統，人民應該尊重我。" Whether or not he was elected by the people remains open to debate. Even if the last election was honest, which is highly disputable, he did not win a majority of the votes. He squeaked in with around forty per cent.
Regardless of that, Bean has it backward. Because he is the president elected by the people, he is duty bound to respect the people. Not necessarily obey, but respect, absolutely. It has to work both ways. Little respect has he shown the people!
He has gotten himself into this fix through confidence that he could fool all of the people all of the time. He should have known better. He should have known that all eyes would be on his act as Mr Clean. Many in his own party support him for the good of the party, regarding him disdainfully as nothing more than a pretty face that brings in votes.
But he couldn't stay clean. He could have stepped down at the end of his second term with his reputation intact, as a president who didn't do anything but at least didn't leave any unmanageable messes. Instead he has sullied his own reputation, the reputation of his party, and the reputation of all of Taiwan. Some legacy.
Another massive demonstration was held on October 10, the national holiday commemorating the revolution that ended the Ching dynasty. Bean took the microphone and said, "大家意見這麼多:Everybody has so many opinions, from now on we may not celebrate the national holiday anymore." How's that for the spirit of democracy and freedom of speech?
So Taiwan's got a 3 year old in the president's office, and hundreds of thousands of people have hit the streets to express their dissatisfaction. What are the people of the United States doing while Bush tramples on the Constitution and American political traditions?
=======
When I say the students were lucky they didn't get arrested, I refer to Bean's tenure as mayor of Taipei. During one particular DPP demonstration, hundreds of demonstrators from his party filled Kuanchien Street, the street over from Merica, where I teach. They brought traffic to a standstill, intimidated passersby, vandalized public property, turned over trashcans, spray-painted slogans on office windows, signs, cars, motorcycles, sidewalks, and the street, and practically deafened everybody with their roaring amplifiers: a pretty typical DPP demonstration, actually (I witnessed almost every one of them). Mayor Bean smiled and said the people were exercising their right of free speech.
A couple days later, three or four teachers wanted to call Mayor Bean's attention to education; I forget just what the issue was. Since he was too busy to see them, they knelt in front of his office, pleading for his attention. Mayor Bean had the police arrest the teachers and threw the book at them: obstructing traffic, creating a nuisance, disorderly conduct, obstructing government business, and so forth and so on. So I think the students got off pretty lightly.
President Bean, AKA Chen Shui Bian, has admitted to taking money illegally, explaining that he used it for "secret diplomacy." At least he didn't say if he told us where he spent the money he'd have to kill us. Because of this and other allegations of corruption and incompetence, hundreds of thousands of people have taken to the streets calling for him to step down. His response has been 不看不聽 don't look, don't listen, to pretend that the demonstrations do not exist. Hardly how a mature statesman would deal with the situation.
The other day college students knelt on the pavement in front of his office, begging him to see them and explain his outlook to them. They're lucky they didn't get arrested. Of course President Bean refused to see them. Recently he said, "I am the president elected by the people, so the people are supposed to respect me/我是民選的總統，人民應該尊重我。" Whether or not he was elected by the people remains open to debate. Even if the last election was honest, which is highly disputable, he did not win a majority of the votes. He squeaked in with around forty per cent.
Regardless of that, Bean has it backward. Because he is the president elected by the people, he is duty bound to respect the people. Not necessarily obey, but respect, absolutely. It has to work both ways. Little respect has he shown the people!
He has gotten himself into this fix through confidence that he could fool all of the people all of the time. He should have known better. He should have known that all eyes would be on his act as Mr Clean. Many in his own party support him for the good of the party, regarding him disdainfully as nothing more than a pretty face that brings in votes.
But he couldn't stay clean. He could have stepped down at the end of his second term with his reputation intact, as a president who didn't do anything but at least didn't leave any unmanageable messes. Instead he has sullied his own reputation, the reputation of his party, and the reputation of all of Taiwan. Some legacy.
Another massive demonstration was held on October 10, the national holiday commemorating the revolution that ended the Ching dynasty. Bean took the microphone and said, "大家意見這麼多:Everybody has so many opinions, from now on we may not celebrate the national holiday anymore." How's that for the spirit of democracy and freedom of speech?
So Taiwan's got a 3 year old in the president's office, and hundreds of thousands of people have hit the streets to express their dissatisfaction. What are the people of the United States doing while Bush tramples on the Constitution and American political traditions?
=======
When I say the students were lucky they didn't get arrested, I refer to Bean's tenure as mayor of Taipei. During one particular DPP demonstration, hundreds of demonstrators from his party filled Kuanchien Street, the street over from Merica, where I teach. They brought traffic to a standstill, intimidated passersby, vandalized public property, turned over trashcans, spray-painted slogans on office windows, signs, cars, motorcycles, sidewalks, and the street, and practically deafened everybody with their roaring amplifiers: a pretty typical DPP demonstration, actually (I witnessed almost every one of them). Mayor Bean smiled and said the people were exercising their right of free speech.
A couple days later, three or four teachers wanted to call Mayor Bean's attention to education; I forget just what the issue was. Since he was too busy to see them, they knelt in front of his office, pleading for his attention. Mayor Bean had the police arrest the teachers and threw the book at them: obstructing traffic, creating a nuisance, disorderly conduct, obstructing government business, and so forth and so on. So I think the students got off pretty lightly.
Friday, October 20, 2006
I finally did it!
Every day the dogs sing. I can't figure out what motivates them, but from time to time, Tlahuy starts a low, rhythmic howling. Then Yumin starts baying, and Byajing joins in with yips and yodels. They are obviously harmonizing, and every time is different. They sing maybe four or five times a day. Their enjoyment in their singing is obvious. 唱是他們很大的享受，不是狗號唳，是很祥和的歌唱。A set of dogs uphill has even taken it up, too.
Today I finally succeeded in filming their performance.
Every day the dogs sing. I can't figure out what motivates them, but from time to time, Tlahuy starts a low, rhythmic howling. Then Yumin starts baying, and Byajing joins in with yips and yodels. They are obviously harmonizing, and every time is different. They sing maybe four or five times a day. Their enjoyment in their singing is obvious. 唱是他們很大的享受，不是狗號唳，是很祥和的歌唱。A set of dogs uphill has even taken it up, too.
Today I finally succeeded in filming their performance.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
When I opened the front door this morning, Byajing was chewing happily – and noisily – on a plastic bottle they had found. Tlahuy came over to me to have his head patted. Byajing put down her bottle and came over to muscle in and get some attention. Tlahuy gave me a significant look, walked over, picked up the plastic bottle, and started chewing furiously. Byajing instantly left me to reclaim her bottle, and Tlahuy came back, wagging his tail cheerfully, to have his head patted where we left off.
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
很久以前，一個朋友跟我講這麼一個故事；事情發生在民國六十幾年，臺灣與大陸局勢緊張，文革還沒結束。
他在金門當兵。當時調到外島，想回臺灣，就等單位調回來吧。否則還沒退伍之前不能回來。他很想家。清明節那天他剛好有假，閒著沒事，到外面走走散散心。到了海岸邊一個隱密的小丘陵，看到三個從大陸隨軍撤退的班長，跪著對大陸燒冥紙、一直磕頭一直拜。其中一個班長哭起來了，另一個班長出拳打他，吼，「哭甚麼哭？只有你一個人想家嗎？」一講完，放聲大哭，繼續打。一下子，三個人打在一起，邊打邊哭。
我朋友說，之前沒想到，三四代祖墳都在雲林，離家不遠，不了解想家的滋味。到金門想家，其實還沒真正嘗到想家的痛苦。
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現在似乎臺灣很多人，只想蒐集籌碼讓自己生氣，卻不想了解，不想解決問題，不想解結。
臺灣是寶島，從來沒有經過大風大浪。也希望臺灣永遠不要有大風大浪，除了颱風以外。世界上還有甚麼地方像臺灣這麼幸福？但正因為如此，很多沒有切身經驗的人不能了解波折所留下的心態、創傷、想法、顧忌。從民國元年到二十八年，光是四川省就經歷了四百七十五起大規模內亂；小亂不計數。八年抗戰，殘暴無人性的日本軍閥終于打敗了，不再蹂躪無辜的百姓。好景不長；抗戰時，殘暴無人性的毛澤東讓蔣中正孤軍與日本軍奮鬥，保衛國家，毛留在後方養精蓄銳，不出手，等勝利後，蔣的部隊筋疲力竭時，毛才出軍蹂躪無辜的百姓，建立他的專制無理的帝國。百花齊放、三面紅旗 、文革，各種亂局接踵而至，堅守臺灣的軍人留在大陸的家眷，幾十年沒有音訊。怎麼能忍受？
三十八年來臺的人，經過了多少事，心裡的煎熬，溫室裡的花朵無法想像。可是他們為臺灣的付出、犧牲，再綠的人憑良心的話也不得否認。
我不懂為甚麼有人對臺灣那麼沒有信心，聽他們的論點，好像是說你家族沒有在日據時代當過日帝腳下的次等國民，你就不可能愛臺灣。難道後來外省人不愛臺灣？居住臺灣的外國人呢？
有人說，三十八年來臺的人自以為是上國之民，藐視本省人(先來的外省人)。不可諱言，因為日本帝國把臺灣當作廉價勞工源、渡假村，所以把臺灣與外界隔離；日據時代，外國人想要來臺灣，非常困難，也不準本地人往外(除非當砲灰、苦力、慰安婦)，所以不要說三十八年，六十幾年臺灣土到極致，社會風氣極保守、封閉，跟世界潮流落差相當大。戰前去過上海的西方人看香港，認為比起上海，香港是落伍腌髒的小村莊，而臺灣人把香港看成很國際化、很時髦的大都會；那麼上海人來臺北，要怎麼看？
我的目的不是搓圓仔、為誰找藉口，我是想了解心態的根源。我不肯活在過去誤解的陰影下；人生太短，問題要解決、突破，因為人不進則退。
其實，原住民、先來的外省人、後來的外省人，二十年前族群意識已經淡下來了，大家那時一起努力創造新的臺灣，讓臺灣在國際上揚眉吐氣。可是有政客發覺挑釁對自己有利，快被淡忘的祖籍問題才死灰復燃：有利可圖的人拼命吹。我們為甚麼要為政客的野心花這麼多心血？除了原住民以外，都是外省人，好不好？要不然，搞清楚，我們都是非洲人；畢竟人類發祥地在非洲。
如果用籍貫、族群來了解自己的由來、家族、傳統、概念，給自己定位，就非常好。可是如果用祖籍來否定別人，這是三K黨、納粹黨的惡劣手段，有知識、品德的人都唾棄。不如用血型來畫界線，分明敵友：A型人都是好的，我們的問題都是AB型人搞出來的，沒有AB型人我們A型人才能出頭天！這樣不是很無知、很幼稚嗎？
好壞且不論，再偏激的人不能否認這群後來的外省人也寫出了本省歷史的一段。
說愛臺灣，不想了解臺灣嗎？不了解這群人，怎麼了解臺灣？
他在金門當兵。當時調到外島，想回臺灣，就等單位調回來吧。否則還沒退伍之前不能回來。他很想家。清明節那天他剛好有假，閒著沒事，到外面走走散散心。到了海岸邊一個隱密的小丘陵，看到三個從大陸隨軍撤退的班長，跪著對大陸燒冥紙、一直磕頭一直拜。其中一個班長哭起來了，另一個班長出拳打他，吼，「哭甚麼哭？只有你一個人想家嗎？」一講完，放聲大哭，繼續打。一下子，三個人打在一起，邊打邊哭。
我朋友說，之前沒想到，三四代祖墳都在雲林，離家不遠，不了解想家的滋味。到金門想家，其實還沒真正嘗到想家的痛苦。
=======
現在似乎臺灣很多人，只想蒐集籌碼讓自己生氣，卻不想了解，不想解決問題，不想解結。
臺灣是寶島，從來沒有經過大風大浪。也希望臺灣永遠不要有大風大浪，除了颱風以外。世界上還有甚麼地方像臺灣這麼幸福？但正因為如此，很多沒有切身經驗的人不能了解波折所留下的心態、創傷、想法、顧忌。從民國元年到二十八年，光是四川省就經歷了四百七十五起大規模內亂；小亂不計數。八年抗戰，殘暴無人性的日本軍閥終于打敗了，不再蹂躪無辜的百姓。好景不長；抗戰時，殘暴無人性的毛澤東讓蔣中正孤軍與日本軍奮鬥，保衛國家，毛留在後方養精蓄銳，不出手，等勝利後，蔣的部隊筋疲力竭時，毛才出軍蹂躪無辜的百姓，建立他的專制無理的帝國。百花齊放、三面紅旗 、文革，各種亂局接踵而至，堅守臺灣的軍人留在大陸的家眷，幾十年沒有音訊。怎麼能忍受？
三十八年來臺的人，經過了多少事，心裡的煎熬，溫室裡的花朵無法想像。可是他們為臺灣的付出、犧牲，再綠的人憑良心的話也不得否認。
我不懂為甚麼有人對臺灣那麼沒有信心，聽他們的論點，好像是說你家族沒有在日據時代當過日帝腳下的次等國民，你就不可能愛臺灣。難道後來外省人不愛臺灣？居住臺灣的外國人呢？
有人說，三十八年來臺的人自以為是上國之民，藐視本省人(先來的外省人)。不可諱言，因為日本帝國把臺灣當作廉價勞工源、渡假村，所以把臺灣與外界隔離；日據時代，外國人想要來臺灣，非常困難，也不準本地人往外(除非當砲灰、苦力、慰安婦)，所以不要說三十八年，六十幾年臺灣土到極致，社會風氣極保守、封閉，跟世界潮流落差相當大。戰前去過上海的西方人看香港，認為比起上海，香港是落伍腌髒的小村莊，而臺灣人把香港看成很國際化、很時髦的大都會；那麼上海人來臺北，要怎麼看？
我的目的不是搓圓仔、為誰找藉口，我是想了解心態的根源。我不肯活在過去誤解的陰影下；人生太短，問題要解決、突破，因為人不進則退。
其實，原住民、先來的外省人、後來的外省人，二十年前族群意識已經淡下來了，大家那時一起努力創造新的臺灣，讓臺灣在國際上揚眉吐氣。可是有政客發覺挑釁對自己有利，快被淡忘的祖籍問題才死灰復燃：有利可圖的人拼命吹。我們為甚麼要為政客的野心花這麼多心血？除了原住民以外，都是外省人，好不好？要不然，搞清楚，我們都是非洲人；畢竟人類發祥地在非洲。
如果用籍貫、族群來了解自己的由來、家族、傳統、概念，給自己定位，就非常好。可是如果用祖籍來否定別人，這是三K黨、納粹黨的惡劣手段，有知識、品德的人都唾棄。不如用血型來畫界線，分明敵友：A型人都是好的，我們的問題都是AB型人搞出來的，沒有AB型人我們A型人才能出頭天！這樣不是很無知、很幼稚嗎？
好壞且不論，再偏激的人不能否認這群後來的外省人也寫出了本省歷史的一段。
說愛臺灣，不想了解臺灣嗎？不了解這群人，怎麼了解臺灣？
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Monday, October 16, 2006
Last night as I was playing the recorder, I decided I really needed a walk. After I swabbed out the instrument, I strapped on my headhunting knife, clapped on my rattan cap, got a flashlight, and made my way with difficulty out through the bamboo to the path. With difficulty because my dogs were flinging themselves about my feet: oh boy a hike, a hike, a hike in the middle of the night! I took the path up to the road above where I stood choosing uphill or downhill. Yumin chose for me. He raced off the road straight up the mountainside into the darkness. A moment later Tlahuy and Byajing followed him. Nothing unusual, but then suddenly Yumin started yelping frantically. Tlahuy and Byajing plunged down to my side, peered up into the darkness where Yumin continued to thrash and yip, and rushed back up. My first thought was that he had gotten himself snared in somebody's trap. Usually when he yelps, it's because he's excited by finding prey or a wild dog, but I didn't want to take the chance of him strangling while I stood by. I called and called, but he didn't come to me: well, at least that's normal. Wishing I had brought the headlamp instead of a flashlight, I followed his yelps up the extremely steep slope.
Tlahuy and Byajing raced back and forth. Yumin was nowhere to be seen, and of course did not return my calls. I reached a spot where I could barely move forward. Thick bamboo barred my way. I could scarcely find space to plant my feet. Whether or not I had enough purchase to hack, that would have been difficult holding a flashlight. Yumin's yelping and thrashing continued, but he had moved across the slope, so he wasn't ensnared, and anyway it dawned on me that nobody would place a trap on such a steep slope.
I figured, he’s still yelping, he's okay, and carefully made my way back down the slope. Good heavens, I wouldn't want to climb that in the daytime, and here I was clutching a flashlight trying to find a way down. This is what you should expect when you have a beagle.
I reached the road just as Yumin came down another way, totally unperturbed. Maybe he was happy I joined him on his jaunt. We walked along the road, enjoying the darkness and the quiet. The quiet was soon disturbed by the growling of a motorcycle, no, motorcycles. Motorcycles were coming down the road slowly, making their way through the pitch black night: sightseers going home, they don't know the road.
Conversation was not my goal in hiking, so as the motorcycles approached, I stood off by the side of the road in the darkness where they would pass right by me without even knowing I was there.
We all know what happens to the best laid plans of mice and men. I didn't notice that the place I chose for my inconspicuous lurking was on the outside of a sharp turn, so every motorcycle's headlights lit upon a panorama of three dogs and a guy with a headhunting knife, all motionless in the darkness out in the middle of nowhere, a kilometer or more from anyplace you would expect to see someone. They gawked.
That must have given them something to talk about when they got back to the city!
Sunday, October 15, 2006
When Running Dogs Want to Speak
During the Cultural Revolution, China was unknown and unknowable. Foreigners were not permitted in the country unless they were fools and communists (but I repeat myself). Ping pong diplomacy opened things up, and then Tricky Dick went. Shortly after Nixon's visit, a group of Canadian students were permitted to go to Beijing to learn Chinese, Canada never having raised communist hackles by displaying any principles. What a hullabaloo there was! Newspapers around the world reported how these young people were entering the forbidden People's Republic where they would take Chinese language lessons, and probably bond with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers. And joy of joys, if they minded their ps and qs, they might even get to meet the Great Helmsman, the Shining Star of the East, Chairman Mao himself! It was in all the papers, Time, Newsweek, and probably on radio and television news everywhere. Reporters put on Mao hats to express their solidarity with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers.
What was not reported was, a year later all the Canadian students were studying Chinese in Taiwan. Their admission had been excellent propaganda, but the Cultural Revolution was still going on. They told me that they learned all the slogans, but nothing practical. They were locked in their dorms when they were not learning how to recite propaganda in Chinese, so they really needed to know nothing practical. They never got anywhere near an unguarded laboring soldier, etc. One student told me, "We can hold a demonstration all by ourselves. We can all say The Running Dogs of American Imperialism are Criminals Meriting Ten Thousand Deaths, but not one of us knows how to read a menu or ask the way to the bathroom.”
So they all dumped the program and came to Taiwan to learn Chinese. But none of the newspapers, news magazines, radio stations, or television news broadcasts reported that. There's never been any need to express your solidarity with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers in Taiwan, because you can just go out and talk to them. Not very newsworthy.
美帝走狗罪該萬死. That's how you say The Running Dogs blah blah 10,000. Just in case you need it at a demonstration.
During the Cultural Revolution, China was unknown and unknowable. Foreigners were not permitted in the country unless they were fools and communists (but I repeat myself). Ping pong diplomacy opened things up, and then Tricky Dick went. Shortly after Nixon's visit, a group of Canadian students were permitted to go to Beijing to learn Chinese, Canada never having raised communist hackles by displaying any principles. What a hullabaloo there was! Newspapers around the world reported how these young people were entering the forbidden People's Republic where they would take Chinese language lessons, and probably bond with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers. And joy of joys, if they minded their ps and qs, they might even get to meet the Great Helmsman, the Shining Star of the East, Chairman Mao himself! It was in all the papers, Time, Newsweek, and probably on radio and television news everywhere. Reporters put on Mao hats to express their solidarity with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers.
What was not reported was, a year later all the Canadian students were studying Chinese in Taiwan. Their admission had been excellent propaganda, but the Cultural Revolution was still going on. They told me that they learned all the slogans, but nothing practical. They were locked in their dorms when they were not learning how to recite propaganda in Chinese, so they really needed to know nothing practical. They never got anywhere near an unguarded laboring soldier, etc. One student told me, "We can hold a demonstration all by ourselves. We can all say The Running Dogs of American Imperialism are Criminals Meriting Ten Thousand Deaths, but not one of us knows how to read a menu or ask the way to the bathroom.”
So they all dumped the program and came to Taiwan to learn Chinese. But none of the newspapers, news magazines, radio stations, or television news broadcasts reported that. There's never been any need to express your solidarity with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers in Taiwan, because you can just go out and talk to them. Not very newsworthy.
美帝走狗罪該萬死. That's how you say The Running Dogs blah blah 10,000. Just in case you need it at a demonstration.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
Golden Oldies
我覺得目前臺灣學英文的風氣不太健康。英文只不過是一種溝通工具；需不需要全民英文，我並不贊成。國中畢業時有個普遍程度，能認二十六個字母，基本句型朗朗上口，夠了(今天臺灣的大學生能把二十六個字母念出正確的音沒幾個，能朗朗上口的英文只有三字經)。到高中，英文應該是選修。大學原文書，各有專注，念機械的有機械的專用術語，聲樂、醫科、陶藝、物理、舞蹈、電腦、生化亦然，各不相近；有原文書，看本行術語就明了，不必花六年準備。只有外文系才需要進一步的認識，可是念外文的有幾個？
推行全民英文的功效很難評，但我注意到一個效果；以前經常遇到很喜歡英文的人，很投入，不是為了甚麼，就是因為喜歡而已。從前這種人不少，現在鳳毛麟角；從前每一班至少一兩個，現在，我已經好幾年沒遇到過。從前英文是很多人的樂趣，現在是全民的負擔。
何況，英文的高峰已過，從2003年的巔峰，全球學英文的人數急降。全球學中文的人速增。歐美報章雜誌常強調，年輕人要有前途的話，一定要學中文；先進美國父母爭先恐後讓孩子學中文，因為大家有共識，下一代中文為世界主要語言。為甚麼十年來，臺灣給我的感覺是跟在別人屁股後撿別人五六年前玩膩的東西？
可能是因為執政者自己的心態跟不上二十一世紀，一直滯留在1950年不肯看世界；可能是為了去中國化的關係而鼓勵崇洋；可能希望老百姓無事忙沒空過問政績；可能就是一股腦兒不加思索勇敢往後面衝；我不知道。我只能說，以一個專業英文老師的身份看，目前臺灣學英文的風氣不太健康、不太正確。
現在臺灣到處可看到「英文」的招牌、解說等等。大值上，英文要進步的話，這些不要看，因為多數不知所云。到底給誰看的呀？外國人看不懂，華人不看，看中文，這些仿洋字沒有實用價值。有一次我跟一位老闆講他看板的洋文不成文，他說，那個英文是寫好看而已，是裝飾。如果要裝飾，天下沒有一種文字比國字美且富有變化，但如今崇洋的政治環境中，就是要擺出二十六個字母，證明我們愛臺灣。最近看到臺大尊賢會館發的收據，例行中「英」文並寫，英文幾乎沒有一個字對；臺大如此，其餘可想而知。
崇洋譴華、疏典忘祖的政府領導下，只要有外文，必定勝中文，縱使四不像的「外文」也好。內湖「豪華氣派」的「綠之湖」建築廣告標Lake De Green，請問這是哪一種語言？文法有點像法文，可是法文的「綠之湖」是Lac Vert(不必加de,何況de通常不大寫；不過，臺灣遇到外文亂大寫是慣例)；英文的「綠之湖」是Green Lake，如果牽強做作，可以寫Lake of Green，可是真搞不清楚Lake De Green是甚文…沒關係！只要不是中文就駭苦辣死！！
可是英文要進步的話，到底該怎麼辦呢？各家有各家的奇招異術，有的實在離譜。剛看到一個網路廣告詞:
推廣英文教育，增加收入
真正掌握自己的人生，擁有了財富
你說這種教育觀念健康嗎？這家叫作I'm ladder，連名字都不合英文文法；廣告片以兒童歌唱結尾，他們唱的是生日歌吧，但唱的像hebby busdeh do you，如果花一大筆錢讓小孩學這麼破的英文，要想一想，補習班老闆推廣英文教育，增加收入，家長還有甚麼好抱怨的呢？
前幾天聽到一個廣告，聽老歌學英語。意思是說，背很多老歌的歌詞，你就能說英語。
也許吧。可是想一想後果……
Foreigner: Excuse me, Sir, can you speak English?
老歌班畢業生先哼幾個音，然後振耳欲聾唱: Only you~~~~ can take my heart away! Only you~~~~~~~
Foreigner: Umm, well, yes sir, you have a good voice, it's really very loud, but you see, I'm lost, and I don't know the way back to my hotel.
歌生: Oh Carol, I am but a foooool!
F: That's very nice, sir, but you see~~
歌生: Joani, Joani, please don't cry, you'll forget me by and by!
F: Sir, excuse me, could you stop singing for a moment?
歌生: I'm saving all my kisses just for you!!
F拔腿而跑，跑很遠，覺得安全了。喘一口氣，可是厚鐵耳還沒找到，只好再問路人。沒想到老歌班生意很好，問的又是老歌英語生。
Foreigner: Excuse me, Sir, can you speak English?
老歌生不慌不張，先學貓王彈吉他的姿勢，再學貓王屁股扭一扭腿抖一抖，抓著無形的麥克風唱：My blue suede shoes!
F行李也不顧了，招了計程車往機場跑，下一班飛機到哪裡也不管，買票上機再說….
看呀，全民英文還有國民外交的效果!
畢竟現在的外交多屬于斷交~~~~
我覺得目前臺灣學英文的風氣不太健康。英文只不過是一種溝通工具；需不需要全民英文，我並不贊成。國中畢業時有個普遍程度，能認二十六個字母，基本句型朗朗上口，夠了(今天臺灣的大學生能把二十六個字母念出正確的音沒幾個，能朗朗上口的英文只有三字經)。到高中，英文應該是選修。大學原文書，各有專注，念機械的有機械的專用術語，聲樂、醫科、陶藝、物理、舞蹈、電腦、生化亦然，各不相近；有原文書，看本行術語就明了，不必花六年準備。只有外文系才需要進一步的認識，可是念外文的有幾個？
推行全民英文的功效很難評，但我注意到一個效果；以前經常遇到很喜歡英文的人，很投入，不是為了甚麼，就是因為喜歡而已。從前這種人不少，現在鳳毛麟角；從前每一班至少一兩個，現在，我已經好幾年沒遇到過。從前英文是很多人的樂趣，現在是全民的負擔。
何況，英文的高峰已過，從2003年的巔峰，全球學英文的人數急降。全球學中文的人速增。歐美報章雜誌常強調，年輕人要有前途的話，一定要學中文；先進美國父母爭先恐後讓孩子學中文，因為大家有共識，下一代中文為世界主要語言。為甚麼十年來，臺灣給我的感覺是跟在別人屁股後撿別人五六年前玩膩的東西？
可能是因為執政者自己的心態跟不上二十一世紀，一直滯留在1950年不肯看世界；可能是為了去中國化的關係而鼓勵崇洋；可能希望老百姓無事忙沒空過問政績；可能就是一股腦兒不加思索勇敢往後面衝；我不知道。我只能說，以一個專業英文老師的身份看，目前臺灣學英文的風氣不太健康、不太正確。
現在臺灣到處可看到「英文」的招牌、解說等等。大值上，英文要進步的話，這些不要看，因為多數不知所云。到底給誰看的呀？外國人看不懂，華人不看，看中文，這些仿洋字沒有實用價值。有一次我跟一位老闆講他看板的洋文不成文，他說，那個英文是寫好看而已，是裝飾。如果要裝飾，天下沒有一種文字比國字美且富有變化，但如今崇洋的政治環境中，就是要擺出二十六個字母，證明我們愛臺灣。最近看到臺大尊賢會館發的收據，例行中「英」文並寫，英文幾乎沒有一個字對；臺大如此，其餘可想而知。
崇洋譴華、疏典忘祖的政府領導下，只要有外文，必定勝中文，縱使四不像的「外文」也好。內湖「豪華氣派」的「綠之湖」建築廣告標Lake De Green，請問這是哪一種語言？文法有點像法文，可是法文的「綠之湖」是Lac Vert(不必加de,何況de通常不大寫；不過，臺灣遇到外文亂大寫是慣例)；英文的「綠之湖」是Green Lake，如果牽強做作，可以寫Lake of Green，可是真搞不清楚Lake De Green是甚文…沒關係！只要不是中文就駭苦辣死！！
可是英文要進步的話，到底該怎麼辦呢？各家有各家的奇招異術，有的實在離譜。剛看到一個網路廣告詞:
推廣英文教育，增加收入
真正掌握自己的人生，擁有了財富
你說這種教育觀念健康嗎？這家叫作I'm ladder，連名字都不合英文文法；廣告片以兒童歌唱結尾，他們唱的是生日歌吧，但唱的像hebby busdeh do you，如果花一大筆錢讓小孩學這麼破的英文，要想一想，補習班老闆推廣英文教育，增加收入，家長還有甚麼好抱怨的呢？
前幾天聽到一個廣告，聽老歌學英語。意思是說，背很多老歌的歌詞，你就能說英語。
也許吧。可是想一想後果……
Foreigner: Excuse me, Sir, can you speak English?
老歌班畢業生先哼幾個音，然後振耳欲聾唱: Only you~~~~ can take my heart away! Only you~~~~~~~
Foreigner: Umm, well, yes sir, you have a good voice, it's really very loud, but you see, I'm lost, and I don't know the way back to my hotel.
歌生: Oh Carol, I am but a foooool!
F: That's very nice, sir, but you see~~
歌生: Joani, Joani, please don't cry, you'll forget me by and by!
F: Sir, excuse me, could you stop singing for a moment?
歌生: I'm saving all my kisses just for you!!
F拔腿而跑，跑很遠，覺得安全了。喘一口氣，可是厚鐵耳還沒找到，只好再問路人。沒想到老歌班生意很好，問的又是老歌英語生。
Foreigner: Excuse me, Sir, can you speak English?
老歌生不慌不張，先學貓王彈吉他的姿勢，再學貓王屁股扭一扭腿抖一抖，抓著無形的麥克風唱：My blue suede shoes!
F行李也不顧了，招了計程車往機場跑，下一班飛機到哪裡也不管，買票上機再說….
看呀，全民英文還有國民外交的效果!
畢竟現在的外交多屬于斷交~~~~
Friday, October 13, 2006
Thursday, October 12, 2006
And do you remember the time we almost shot Dad with the arrow?
One pleasant weekend afternoon when I was about ten, my brother Peter and I got out the bow and arrows for some archery. We shot at this clump of banana trees growing outside the dining room, because they were a good thick, impenetrable mass. Did you know? Banana trees are not very solid. I forget who shot first, but I have a feeling I am the guilty party. We watched in amazement ::: 說時慢，那時快::: it takes longer to tell than to happen:: as the arrow shot RIGHT THROUGH the banana trees, then SPLING and SCREEEEECH!! Dad came roaring out the side door, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???? He had been sitting at the table, and when we went to look at the scene of the crime, the arrow was lodged, stuck halfway through the pane of glass, pointing right at where he had been sitting……
One pleasant weekend afternoon when I was about ten, my brother Peter and I got out the bow and arrows for some archery. We shot at this clump of banana trees growing outside the dining room, because they were a good thick, impenetrable mass. Did you know? Banana trees are not very solid. I forget who shot first, but I have a feeling I am the guilty party. We watched in amazement ::: 說時慢，那時快::: it takes longer to tell than to happen:: as the arrow shot RIGHT THROUGH the banana trees, then SPLING and SCREEEEECH!! Dad came roaring out the side door, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???? He had been sitting at the table, and when we went to look at the scene of the crime, the arrow was lodged, stuck halfway through the pane of glass, pointing right at where he had been sitting……
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Monday, October 09, 2006
Recently I have seen t-shirts that say
A WORLD WITHOUT STRANGERS
Think of that! A world without strangers. Wouldn't that be awful? The whole world ironed out, no more kinks, no more quirks, everybody predictable, 7/11 on every corner, McDonalds on every block, a Toyota on every street, pro wrestling on cable tv in every home.
It's bad enough already. In the early 19th century, an Ohioan was discernible from a Hoosier at a glance. Now you can barely tell Russian pop music from Indonesian pop music, and the musicians all dress alike: the standard reckless rebel who dares to express his individuality by conforming docilely to universal expectations.
What an awful world it would be if you never met someone whose customs rubbed you the wrong way, or seemed impossibly weird. A world in which everybody had the same ideas, all the same habits, and you never met someone you couldn't figure out, all the bizarre diversity of humanity reduced to sterile, stagnant clones, so that there were no strangers. How could we survive without difference of customs? outlooks?
What a dreary world it would be if everybody could speak the same language. A world without strangers, what kind of ideal is that? It sounds like a threat to me.
What an awful world it would be if you never met a man you didn't like.
A WORLD WITHOUT STRANGERS
Think of that! A world without strangers. Wouldn't that be awful? The whole world ironed out, no more kinks, no more quirks, everybody predictable, 7/11 on every corner, McDonalds on every block, a Toyota on every street, pro wrestling on cable tv in every home.
It's bad enough already. In the early 19th century, an Ohioan was discernible from a Hoosier at a glance. Now you can barely tell Russian pop music from Indonesian pop music, and the musicians all dress alike: the standard reckless rebel who dares to express his individuality by conforming docilely to universal expectations.
What an awful world it would be if you never met someone whose customs rubbed you the wrong way, or seemed impossibly weird. A world in which everybody had the same ideas, all the same habits, and you never met someone you couldn't figure out, all the bizarre diversity of humanity reduced to sterile, stagnant clones, so that there were no strangers. How could we survive without difference of customs? outlooks?
What a dreary world it would be if everybody could speak the same language. A world without strangers, what kind of ideal is that? It sounds like a threat to me.
What an awful world it would be if you never met a man you didn't like.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
From Cancer Ward, by Solzhenitsyn
Epicurus has once observed that a fool, if offered eternity, would not know what to do with it….
Compulsory loudspeakers, for some reason generally regarded in our country as a sign of cultural breadth, are on the contrary a sign of cultural backwardness and an encouragement to intellectual laziness….The permanent mutter – information you hadn't asked for alternating with music you hadn't chosen (and quite unrelated to the mood you happened to be in) – was a theft of time, a diffusion and an entropy of the spirit, convenient and agreeable to the inert but intolerable to those with initiative. Epicurus's fool with eternity in hand would probably find listening to the radio the only way to bear it.
__________
==========
在蘇聯是政府強迫要聽的mutter；臺灣比較民主，是自己放的，不把耳朵震聾、頭腦震麻的話，音量不夠，再大聲一點吧！
Epicurus has once observed that a fool, if offered eternity, would not know what to do with it….
Compulsory loudspeakers, for some reason generally regarded in our country as a sign of cultural breadth, are on the contrary a sign of cultural backwardness and an encouragement to intellectual laziness….The permanent mutter – information you hadn't asked for alternating with music you hadn't chosen (and quite unrelated to the mood you happened to be in) – was a theft of time, a diffusion and an entropy of the spirit, convenient and agreeable to the inert but intolerable to those with initiative. Epicurus's fool with eternity in hand would probably find listening to the radio the only way to bear it.
__________
==========
在蘇聯是政府強迫要聽的mutter；臺灣比較民主，是自己放的，不把耳朵震聾、頭腦震麻的話，音量不夠，再大聲一點吧！
Saturday, October 07, 2006
臺北小市民生活歷史綴筆，堆石篇
一位年約五十幾的太太這樣跟我講：
>我從小在公館長大，可是我阿媽住萬華。我小時候，清明節伯父帶阿媽從萬華到景美去掃墓，他們坐火車。
<坐火車到景美？
>是啊，以前有火車從萬華到景美，路線跟現在的羅斯福路差不多，可是很慢。要四個小時。
<來回？
>不，單程，所以伯父帶阿媽到景美去掃墓，要一整天的時間。單程四小時，來回八個小時。
<好慢。
>好像燒木碳。煙很多。後來住附近的小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭，火車一來就出軌了。
<還好跑的慢。
>可是還是有一個人受傷 了。所以後來討論，這次幸好沒出大事，萬一出人命怎麼辦？所以決定把火車停開了，後來鐵軌挖掉了，現在沒有了。
<妳說路線就是現在的羅斯福路，是嗎？
>對。我從小在公館長大，所以我小時候還看過這個火車，可是因為小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭出事了，所以後來就沒有了。
================
是啊，我以老臺北自居，但這是頭一次知道以前有火車從萬華跑景美。好了，單程四小時不該用「跑」來形容。
不過，我有一個疑問。我看這位太太眼神很皮，我很想問，住附近的小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭的時候，妳在哪裡？只是因為不熟，我就不好意思問。我想，我大概知道答案。
一位年約五十幾的太太這樣跟我講：
>我從小在公館長大，可是我阿媽住萬華。我小時候，清明節伯父帶阿媽從萬華到景美去掃墓，他們坐火車。
<坐火車到景美？
>是啊，以前有火車從萬華到景美，路線跟現在的羅斯福路差不多，可是很慢。要四個小時。
<來回？
>不，單程，所以伯父帶阿媽到景美去掃墓，要一整天的時間。單程四小時，來回八個小時。
<好慢。
>好像燒木碳。煙很多。後來住附近的小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭，火車一來就出軌了。
<還好跑的慢。
>可是還是有一個人受傷 了。所以後來討論，這次幸好沒出大事，萬一出人命怎麼辦？所以決定把火車停開了，後來鐵軌挖掉了，現在沒有了。
<妳說路線就是現在的羅斯福路，是嗎？
>對。我從小在公館長大，所以我小時候還看過這個火車，可是因為小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭出事了，所以後來就沒有了。
================
是啊，我以老臺北自居，但這是頭一次知道以前有火車從萬華跑景美。好了，單程四小時不該用「跑」來形容。
不過，我有一個疑問。我看這位太太眼神很皮，我很想問，住附近的小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭的時候，妳在哪裡？只是因為不熟，我就不好意思問。我想，我大概知道答案。
Friday, October 06, 2006
Today is my favorite holiday on any calendar: 中秋節, the Moon Festival. Only the Chinese would have a holiday that is not to glorify any religion or great ego or patriotism, and has no more utilitarian value than to enjoy the full moon. And eat. In China, everything is seen as a good reason to eat. In recent years the custom has arisen in Taiwan to barbecue and gorge as you watch the moon. Be that as it may, there's another great attraction (for me) to the Moon Festival: mooooon cakes, yummy rummy.
A further attraction: the Mid Autumn Moon Festival means that summer is over, and cooler weather is on the way. Cooler is a relative term. Usually it's around 17C in Wulai on the big night. Typically it is cloudy at dusk and moonrise for this holiday. The moon peeks out from behind the clouds at around 8:30, and at 9, just about when all the sightseers have gone back to the city, the moon shines brightly. But you really can't have a moon festival without some clouds to play with the moon.
One year it poured on the great night. Some of my friends, confined to their dorm by the gale, cut a circle out of white paper, stuck it up on the wall, and ate their moon cakes beneath their own private moon. Good enough.
________
photo courtesy of Chao
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Something I learned in Tae Kwon Do: some people have such powerful side kicks/側踢 that you can't block them. If you root your stance and put up a strong block, they'll just break your arms. What you want to do in a situation like that is take the kick on your forearms and float with it. If you catch it at the right angle, and the kick is powerful enough, you can spin around and use his power to launch a reverse roundhouse (後旋踢). Otherwise, float with it and be prepared to come back the instant you set down, and dog help you if you stumble. You're safest if you never even give the opponent a chance to kick.
A lot of life is like that.
Writing this reminds me of the time someone fighting in a tournament around 1969 fouled on Joe Lewis, which was definitely not a good move. (Joe Lewis was a Marine bodybuilder who picked up karate when he was stationed in Okinawa, and returned to the US to become a champion fighter and famous bad boy.) Lewis kicked him with his famous side kick; the guy blocked it, the kick broke his arm and pushed the bones into his ribs.
A lot of life is like that.
Writing this reminds me of the time someone fighting in a tournament around 1969 fouled on Joe Lewis, which was definitely not a good move. (Joe Lewis was a Marine bodybuilder who picked up karate when he was stationed in Okinawa, and returned to the US to become a champion fighter and famous bad boy.) Lewis kicked him with his famous side kick; the guy blocked it, the kick broke his arm and pushed the bones into his ribs.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Here's something most people probably don't know. Freshly cut cherry wood has a rich, sweet smell.Yesterday I took the dogs out for a little hike. Coming home, I saw that one of the roadside cherry trees had been culled and thrown by the road to return to the earth. Some of the wood still looked nice, so I chopped off a section to bring home. When I got home, I put it inside for the time being. This piece has an unusually strong smell. Now the whole house is full of that rich smell.
前幾天提到帶書在山中看。山中靜寂亙長，適合多想一些事。這就是為甚麼很多人帶收音機、CD、ipod到山裡：為了逃避自己。大學時，有一年我過年到玉山，滿腦子是大學。(注：第一大學是學校，第二大學是書。)我趁過年去，因為算準山裡一定沒有人，大家回家團圓:民國六十幾年，登山風氣不盛。當時我跟平地人說要去爬山，一般無法了解這種觀念，閩南人尤其如此；年紀越大越不能接受登山這種想法。很多老人家還好心勸我不要到山上，因為他們活在日據時代的陰影下：他們告訴我，日據時代，土匪蠻橫，善良平民不敢出村門；心猶有餘悸，很多上了年紀的閩南人憂心忡忡地告訴我，如果不得已一定要在山上過夜，千萬記得捲成一圈，下巴貼胸，這樣土匪要割喉比較難。一方面他們明明知道國民政府來臺以後沒有土匪，另一方面，昔年留下的恐懼太深。他們對臺灣的山有敵意。在他們觀念中，爬山等于送死。他們看我背背包開心往山上走，總是婉惜的同時懷疑我頭腦有問題。大概吧。
後來讀臺灣歷史，比較了解。先來的外省人來臺，泉漳相仇廝殺，閩人不敢涉足客家村，漢人不肯入山，除非冬補獵「番」。留在家裡最安全。日本統治者鼓勵這種想法；百姓比較容易駕馭。可能是這個關係吧，我剛來臺灣的時候，原住民與後來外省人外，深山裡不太有人。好哇，留個清靜的山。
不出所料，除夕中午過後到達排雲山莊(即玉山頂峰下的招待所)，除了管理員以外，只有我一個人。管理員看到我來，非常高興，因為他本來以為要一個人過除夕夜；縱使高鼻子的外國人，也勝沒有人。為了慶祝過年+禦寒，他給我一碗很濃很濃的薑糖水。我很快就冒汗了。
管理員是河南人。他說他家鄉是平原沒有山，他來臺灣的時候很好奇看看臺灣的山是甚麼個模樣。他不怕冷，沒有家眷，派來排雲山莊很適合。過年過節很想家就是了。
我選過年爬山還有一個原因：雪。大年初一早上睡醒的時候，室內溫度零下五度。過癮。只有一個問題：鞋子。我腳大，到今天在臺灣買鞋子不容易買，何況三十年前。我在萬華的tsa la chi(我不會寫：小偷市場，在YMCA附近。據說是小偷脫手的地方)買了一雙軍鞋，充當登山鞋。鞋子的貨源只怕不是小偷，是騙子，因為好像是冒牌貨。還不到排雲山莊，一腳的鞋跟開始脫落。釘子刺到腳，我找了一片石頭塞進去，還可以，可是走久了要鏟雪。那個腳有點冷。
吃了一點熱糧，就出發了，往山頂走。已經幾天沒人走過，雪深，步道不好找。繼續下雪，風滿大，一步一步走，滿腦子都在想，欲治其國者，先齊其家，欲齊其家者先修其身，欲修其身者先正其心，欲正其心者，先誠其意；這句把我搞糊塗了；為甚麼正心要誠意？我卡在一個觀念，把誠當誠懇想，對待它人的信用；說文說，誠，信也。我突然想通了。這個誠字不是對別人，是觀照自心要誠，要洞察自己的起心動念，不可躲躲藏藏，不可給自己找臺階下，不可有藉口，要盡誠意探索赤裸裸的心。
這個想清楚了就通暢了，可是雪不停地下，風不斷地吹，越走鞋跟越開，另一隻鞋也開了口，一兩步就鞋裡雪很多。雪深過膝，不大好走，而且越高步道越難找。風很大。我決定了：目的是爬山，有沒有到頂無所謂，這種天沒有view，反正「誠」弄清楚了，其它，隨便。
回頭往排雲山莊，就想，中國字實在太好玩。「ㄣ」是「隱」本字；十目看，能隱嗎？不成，所以十目盯住ㄣ是「直」；直心是悳，但要付諸「行」動才算數，所以悳後來加了ㄔ成為「德」字。真妙。
回到了排雲山莊，管理員看到我，大笑說，「你看你這副德性。」原來我後腦漏出帽子外面的頭髮都結冰了。
「到了山頂嗎？」
「沒有，雪太深，風太大，到了上面那個風口我看不好過，就回頭了。」
「沒關係吧。」
「沒關係，踏到雪了，爬了山了，夠了。」我就準備下山…這又是一個故事，改天吧。可是直視本心為德，德又是甚麼？我到現在還不清楚。我看，我必須到山上走走，也許會想通。沒想通也好，有山就好。
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Not only had her family not brought Agniya up to believe in God, but in the past when one had been obliged to go to church her mother and grandmother did not go, did not observe the fasts, did not take Communion, snubbed the priests, and always ridiculed religion because it had accepted serfdom so easily. Her grandmother, mother, and aunt had their own creed: always be on the side of those who were oppressed, arrested, pursued, and persecuted by the authorities. Her grandmother had evidently been known by all the "People's Will" revolutionaries because she gave them refuge in her home and helped them in whatever way she could. Her daughters took after her and hid fugitive Social Revolutionaries and Social Democrats. And little Agniya was always on the side of the rabbit that was being hunted, of the horse that was being whipped. As she grew up, this came to mean, to the surprise of her elders, that she was for the church because it was being persecuted.
Whether she came thereby to believe in god or forced herself to believe, in any case she insisted that it would now be ignoble to avoid church, and to her mother's and her grandmother's horror she began to attend services and little by little came to care about them.
--- The First Circle, Chapter 23, The Church of St John the Baptist
Whether she came thereby to believe in god or forced herself to believe, in any case she insisted that it would now be ignoble to avoid church, and to her mother's and her grandmother's horror she began to attend services and little by little came to care about them.
--- The First Circle, Chapter 23, The Church of St John the Baptist
Monday, October 02, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
The other day I finished rereading The First Circle ~~do I have to annotate that it was written by Solzhenitsyn? And that Hamlet was written by Shakespeare?
I suppose I read The First Circle twice by the time I was 25, and at least twice since, but it's been years since the last time I read it. What surprised me reading it this time was howmuch I learned from Solzhenitsyn.
In his best work, Solzhenitsyn doesn't tell you: this is what to believe. Especially in The First Circle, his characters argue many standpoints, and each life portrays its own standpoint. The reader weighs everything.
I have been very lucky. I remember when Solzhenitsyn was first being translated into English; I devoured all his early works as soon as they were available, although I sort of bogged down by 1919 and The Gulag Archipelago.
My major in college was Chinese Lit (師大國文). Our teachers did not bother with trying to attract students with appealing course lists: almost everything was required. Take this, it's good for you. But we learned from the giants of China, in philosophy, in literature, in etymology and phonology, in calligraphy, and in history. Even if we never became giants, we stood on their shoulders and looked at life and at the universe.
Our teachers told us, We do not read literature or philosophy from the Ming or Ching periods (in other words, anything written after about the 14th century) because it is still too new. It hasn't passed the test of time. You can read it yourselves, you don't need guidance, you can handle the material by yourselves. But in class, our courses concern those works which have stood up to the scrutiny of many generations, and which you may have difficulty studying unassisted.
I suppose if I had taken a less rigorous major, I could have earned credits in Movie Criticism or Studies in Contemporary Advertising Strategies, and I would not have had such a workout.
I suppose I read The First Circle twice by the time I was 25, and at least twice since, but it's been years since the last time I read it. What surprised me reading it this time was howmuch I learned from Solzhenitsyn.
In his best work, Solzhenitsyn doesn't tell you: this is what to believe. Especially in The First Circle, his characters argue many standpoints, and each life portrays its own standpoint. The reader weighs everything.
I have been very lucky. I remember when Solzhenitsyn was first being translated into English; I devoured all his early works as soon as they were available, although I sort of bogged down by 1919 and The Gulag Archipelago.
My major in college was Chinese Lit (師大國文). Our teachers did not bother with trying to attract students with appealing course lists: almost everything was required. Take this, it's good for you. But we learned from the giants of China, in philosophy, in literature, in etymology and phonology, in calligraphy, and in history. Even if we never became giants, we stood on their shoulders and looked at life and at the universe.
Our teachers told us, We do not read literature or philosophy from the Ming or Ching periods (in other words, anything written after about the 14th century) because it is still too new. It hasn't passed the test of time. You can read it yourselves, you don't need guidance, you can handle the material by yourselves. But in class, our courses concern those works which have stood up to the scrutiny of many generations, and which you may have difficulty studying unassisted.
I suppose if I had taken a less rigorous major, I could have earned credits in Movie Criticism or Studies in Contemporary Advertising Strategies, and I would not have had such a workout.
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