A swarm of several bees visited my front door this morning. By the time I thought about filming it, most of them had passed. This is the tail end of the swarm. Happy new year, little buddies.

In Portugal, it's against the law to pee in the ocean.
I appreciate the effort, but I really wonder how they enforce that one.

Recently I have seen some shoe ads that tickle me. They advertise A Truly Natural Look, Natural Shoes, footwear that gets you close to nature, and so forth. Shell out your dough and you too can enjoy nature with expensive shoes that (please read this part in an appropriately excited voice, like the advertisers write it) breathe and dry easily!

I have a pair of natural footwear that fits me perfectly. They breathe and dry easily, too. They are all-terrain and all-weather, and have great traction. (see photo).

To be honest, I should qualify all-weather: all-weather in Wulai. They work great in sunshine, in typhoons, and all year round, but the coldest it gets here is about 2C. I have tried them out on snow, but I'm not acclimated for that, so I kept it up only about half an hour. I plan to be in Boston this winter, so my thoughts turned to my feet.

Last year when I went to New York wearing my shoes, they disintegrated at the check-in counter, for lack of use (please see this blog for December 21, 2005). To avoid a replay, I dug out my hiking boots for a trial walk to make sure they still worked. I hadn't worn them for five or six years, so my worries were justified.

I made my trial hike late at night, lest I frighten a neighbor. If they saw me shod, they would probably call for an ambulance. With headlamp attached and dogs scampering, I set out through the bamboo. Now this is very interesting, because the slight path is ill-defined; very quickly I lost the trail. That had never happened to me. I think that before, when I went out at night, my feet recognized the trail and kept me on it. Ensconced in shoes, my feet were cut off from their surroundings, and eyesight alone was insufficient for me to find the path.

Walking in hiking boots, I realized how much I have come to depend on my bare feet. Barefoot, I know the texture of the ground I am walking on, its temperature, dryness or wetness, rocks, leaves, soil, bamboo, what have you. Walking shod, I felt removed from the environment.

Also, I had trouble with slipping. These are good Italian hiking boots with Vibram soles, but bare feet conform to the surface of the ground, so you have a large surface stuck onto the ground. Your toes can take advantage of slight lumps, and the sole hugs whatever is down there. The hiking boots are stiff, so I slipped in places I had never slipped barefoot.

Walking over prickly stubble, I suppose I could go faster in hiking boots than barefoot. But speed is rarely a consideration when I am in the mountains. I prefer to hike with my eyes, ears, nose, and feet wide open.

In Which Sister Visits a Brand New Library

The man in the library turned and asked pleasantly, "Are you OK?" I replied, "Yes. Fortunately," with, I hope, an equally pleasant expression. "Thank you," I added (pleasantly), as I regained my seat.

When he first turned to look, I like to think I wasn't lying flat on the floor. Scrambling limberly to my feet, more likely? Whose idea was it, to put these lightweight chairs on rollers?

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this was written by my sister St Eph. I would like to answer the question she poses in the last sentence: she met him already, and had a short but pleasant conversation with him.

let dogs be dogs
Love is confusing. What do you love for? or rather, what makes you love? Is love understanding, or control?

Consider the love of pets. One of the most asinine clips I've seen on youtube (and there is LOTS of competition) was, unfortunately, filmed right here in Taiwan. Somebody took her golden retriever to Tansui 淡水, and tied the poor animal up right next to the water, sort of like Tantalus and the spring. The dog got free and leapt into the water. The lady shrieked and some fool jumped into the water to 'rescue' it. The poor dog must have been thinking, "$#@%!! I finally got into the water and this &**#@ jerk pulls me back out!"

If you don't know that a golden retriever loves water like squirrels love trees, you shouldn't have one. Last summer I saw someone walking a golden retriever in the rain, and the poor dog was decked out in rain gear. It's a good thing golden retrievers have mild tempers, or else it would have bitten the idiot. I know I felt like biting him.

Notice both examples so far are golden retrievers. There are a lot of them in Taipei. Now think: Taipei is crowded, so there's not much space for these big, lively dogs to stretch their legs out and run and go swimming. If you really loved the dog, you certainly wouldn't raise one in Taipei's compact apartments!

A beagle is another dog that doesn't belong in an apartment. A few weeks ago I saw a beagle being walked, and because the temperature had plummeted to about 22C, the person wrapped the poor beagle up in an coat. If you don't know beagles have strong resistance to cold, you shouldn't own one. You ought to understand your pet.

People seem to own pets for the pleasure of being able to dominate their animal completely, not for the pleasure of letting a dog be a dog.

Not just dogs. We want all of our animals to be Disney-sweet. Cute bears, adorable tigers, sweet hippos, cuddly wolves. Better it would be to respect their natures.

Earlier this month at Sea World in San Diego, a killer whale dragged a trainer to the bottom of the pool. Fortunately the trainer escaped intact, but now the authorities are investigating "why a 5,000 pound killer whale injured a veteran trainer." Excuse me? This is a killer whale, a =||killer||= whale, and the authorities are investigating why it injured somebody? What did they expect it to do, give the trainer a hug and discuss post-feminism, snuff bottles, and string theory? Their time would be better spent investigating why there was anything left of the trainer but buttons and fur.

"During the summer tourist season, the killer whale show is often performed seven times daily." Maybe the killer whale was just sick of the stupid act: I swear, if they make me shoot straight from the water toward suspended cameras one more time, just ONE MORE TIME, I swear I'm going to KILL somebody!!

Ho, ho, YIKES!
In 1982, the members of the Truth Tabernacle in South Carolina hanged a Santa Claus, in protest to the pagan origins of Christmas celebrations. This is an excellent idea worth copying and propagating. Wouldn't that be jolly? A Santa lynched on every lamppost.

You could even sing about it:
Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light,
From now on that stupid Santa,
Will be out of sight.
Through the years we put up with enough,
If the fates allow,
Hang a fake Santa upon the highest bough ~~~~
And have yourself a merry Constitution Day now!

Merry Constitution Day. Lynch a Santa for Christ!

有一個很奇怪的問題。昨晚將近十二點，來烏來的遊客放燄火、沖天炮，慶祝聖誕節。我很好奇：他們到底在慶祝甚麼？教徒在教堂慶祝，烏來教會的慶祝禮拜前幾天已經舉行過，肅穆又喜悅；然後深夜到各各泰雅長老家去報佳音。這種慶祝，我了解。可是根本不信基督的人「狂歡」、放燄火，到底在慶祝甚麼？

This morning I heard an eagle perched in a tree near my house calling back and forth with an eagle on high. I'd never heard anything like that.

I tried my best to record it. Be patient.

Jacques Barzun is a writer I hold in highest esteem, from all angles. Several years ago, I bought his Dawn to Decadence, 500 Years of Western Cultural Life. I put it on the shelf to mellow until an appropriate time.

Today I started. Before I even finished the Prologue, I read this paragraph:

"Culture – what a word! …. Now it is a piece of all-purpose jargon that covers a hodge-podge of overlapping things. People speak and write about the culture of almost any segment of society: the counterculture, to begin with, and the many subcultures: ethnic cultures, corporate cultures, teenage culture, and popular culture. An editorial in the New York Times discusses the culture of the city's police department, and an article in the travel section distinguishes the culture of plane travel from the bus culture. One a par with these, recall the split between the 'two cultures' of science and the humanities, which is to be deplored – like the man-and-wife 'culture clash,' which causes divorce. Artists feel the lure – no, the duty – of joining an adversary culture; for the artist is by nature 'the enemy of his culture,' just as he is (on another page of the same journal) 'a product of his culture.' In education, the latest fad is multiculturalism, and in entertainment the highest praise goes to a 'cross-cultural event.' On the world scene, the experts warn of the culture wars that are brewing."

Wonderful stuff! And on the very next page I found something to disagree with. What are margins for, if not to scribble in? Eight hundred pages. I feel like I have sat down to a magnificent feast.

Early in his career, Arnold Steinhardt, first violinist of the Guarneri String Quartet, played a Bach adagio for Pablo Casals === if you don't know Pablo Casals was the greatest cellist ever, I'm not sure what to say to you. My first reaction was, maybe you shouldn't be reading this blog. Then I thought, no, maybe you should be studying every word. Anyway.

When Steinhardt finished, Casals said, "Good, very good." Pause. Then He told a story (hey, if Christians can capitalize He for Jehovah, Casals deserves at least as much). Decades earlier at a restaurant in Budapest, a Gypsy violinist approached Casals, bowed, and played the same Bach adagio better than Casals had ever heard it played. Casals said, "He did not know how one should or should not play Bach, and so he simply played freely and from the heart. You play intelligently and with spirit. Now let yourself go."

From an article about aging techniques to make furniture look like an antique:
"To create flyspecks, dip an old toothbrush in black ink. Carefully rub a toothpick across the bristles to splatter paint for that speckled look."

If I were to spend my time carefully rubbing a toothpick across toothbrush bristles to make something look like it had flyspecks, I would consider myself depraved.
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You probably didn't notice the transubstantiation of ink to paint, either. Read that quote again.

前一陣子，天天有虎頭蜂到書房來，一兩隻。來了，我就送出去，因為牠們好像找不到exit。有一天我想，既然來了，照個相留念吧。

從此以後牠們不來了。

原來是想照相。

Much talk has been devoted recently to the building of a fence along the border between the US and Mexico, to keep out illegal immigrants.

I think this is a lousy idea, simply because I do not think it is fair that the little guy should always be the one to suffer. People say there are so many illegal aliens that something has to be done. Ok, fine. Enact laws: for every day's work done by an illegal alien, the person in the firm making the most money has to serve two days in jail with drug dealers and gangsters, wearing an orange jump suit; if that person can prove that he is a proxy for someone making even more money, he is free and that person puts on the orange jump suit. So say a company has ten illegal aliens working on Tuesday: the CEO serves twenty days in jail.

How many job opportunities would exist to lure these poor people north?

Of course Dubya would never permit such a law to pass, but you have to admit, that would solve the problem overnight, and the little guy would, eventually, wind up with a better deal than he's got now.

Illegal aliens enter the US for jobs, and because they are illegal, they are exploited. If the aliens were not there, the jobs would still exist, so the employers would have to either raise pay for local labor, or find legal ways to hire aliens; such ways would be subject to legal scrutiny, and no matter how cynically you deem legal scrutiny, it is better than none at all.

So let's not waste money on a border fence. Let's see some of those CEOs in orange jumpsuits!

民國六十幾年有一次在南投爬山，發現水壺空了，在廬山看到幾個泰雅夫人，問她們要水。一位年約四十五歲的太太拿水給我，問我從哪裡來的。
美國。
美國很遠喔，我四年前看過電影，電影好像在美國，好奇怪他們的頭髮。
她說她都在山裏，一兩年到霧社，可是比較喜歡在山裏。
我問她到過大都市嗎？
很肯定地點頭說，有！有！我結婚的時候，我的男人帶我去埔里！那裡好大，人好多，我不習慣，所以沒有再去過。人太多。她一直搖頭。

案：民國四十年，埔里人口大概不到兩萬。

Some Jews and Christians say it is perfectly all right to kill animals to eat because only human beings have souls, so since animals don't have souls, their suffering and death are of no account. One recent pope proclaimed that when you kick a dog, its yelp signifies no more than the shriek of a machine; don't forget, popes are infallible, so he can't be wrong. Oh sure.

When Jehovah so loved the world that he decided to drown everybody, he found that of all these jerks he created in his own image, only Noah was a just man, righteous and blameless, so he decided not to drown Noah. Wasn't that nice of him? Ok, so Noah lives. Then what? Jehovah told Noah to build an ark and rescue all of the animals. Just the animals, not the plants or the minerals. Not even mushrooms.

If animals had no souls, why bother? The ark teaches that Jehovah thought animals were as worth saving as Noah, and more worth saving than the rest of humanity, so they must not only have souls, but righteous, blameless souls that are just, and more worth saving that 99% of humanity.

So go ahead and enjoy your steak. Surely you are more saintly than Noah.

contempt of court
當總統夫人真不容易，還要會演戲。

乾脆以後法院裡裝電子琴，增加戲劇效果。

從前聽過這麼一個故事：
清代道光年左右，一位居士誦金剛經：是不是林則徐？可能是，記不得了。有鬼魂求他再誦一部，回向給祂，讓祂好轉世。居士當然應允了，馬上誦。僕人看主人連續誦經，怕他口渴，奉了一盞茶；居士不喝，說：撤茶。

誦完，鬼魂哀，說，多出了經文沒有的「撤茶」兩個字，功德沒有了，還是不得超脫。居士駭然，謹慎重誦一部，功德才圓滿。

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金剛經流傳很廣，所以版本多。民國初年，江味農居士有鑑于此，蒐集各種版本，核敦煌唐鈔本校勘，因此江校應不失鳩摩羅什之舊。

換言之，清代道光年所誦，必然有誤，豈止「撤茶」二字與佛說不合？其它字句有舛訛，為何只「撤茶」才破功德？

更何況，世尊不說華語，字相那麼重要嗎？功德與否，在心不在字。

或以居士分心，心中有茶而失功德。

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金剛經說福德不應貪著，鬼欲受福德，是無福德，但凡夫之人貪著其事。

若能不貪著福德，不誦經亦超渡。

若能不貪著福德，不止超渡，應超出輪迴。

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凡所有相，皆是虛妄；實則無鬼無居士無功德無輪迴，但凡夫之人貪著其事。

究竟是凡夫。凡所有相，皆是虛妄；實則無我無吃無衣無住無行，但凡夫之人貪著其事。既然貪著，藉假修真。畢竟，肚子還是要吃飽。

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若心中有茶而失功德，我學佛功德與梁武帝建寺功德相若：毫無功德。

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喫茶去了。

大約民國七十年左右，我有一次坐計程車，司機是退役軍人。我坐前座，跟他聊。

他笑嘻嘻地說，「我上禮拜有一天晚上深夜載到三個年輕人，說要到觀音山。三個都像太保，一聽就知道他們打算等我車開到沒有人的地方搶劫。我心知肚明，不講話，就把車往觀音山開。他們叫我開到一條小路，黑黑的，前不著村後不著店，我知道他們要下手了，我就~─」他手上突然出現了一把螺絲起子，根本沒看到從哪裡掏出來的「─~拿這個起子頂住前座的那個人脖子上的動脈，說『我在家鄉十三歲開始殺日本兵，你以為我怕你們嗎？』我叫後座兩個人下車，他們猶豫了一下，我起子開始用力推，前座的那個叫他們趕快下車，不然我就把他殺了。他們下車走到車子前面十公尺，我叫他們停住，不可以動。前座的問我，『先生，我可以下車嗎？』我說，『不行，你車錢還沒給我。』我拿了來回車錢，就用力推他下車，馬上溜了，讓他們慢慢走路回臺北。」

is it my eyes or my mind?
just now on Word, I was surprised to see that I had a font called Anal. Oh, Arial….

On Thanksgiving, President Bush phoned members of the Armed Forces serving in Iraq. That strikes me as unbelievably callous. I can't imagine how the conversations went.

"Hi, this is your President, you know, the guy who started this war you are stuck in. I really messed up the whole situation there, and you're the ones who clean it up. Isn't that a riot? Bet you didn't know you'd end up fighting in somebody else's civil war when you signed up for the national guard, did you? That'll teach you to be more careful about signing contracts.

"Yeah, yeah, I know there was no good reason to attack Iraq, but don't forget how they treated my daddy. He won his war and that jerk Saddam kept on being president. I couldn't let that go on. And anyway, what's the fun of being president if you can't have a war? My daddy had a war, so I should get one too. Mine is bigger than his, too! And it's going to last longer than all the other American wars put together! And besides, look at all the oil. Not to mention all those lush, rich contracts my buddies are winning. Boy, they're really raking it in, hand over fist. Say, I hear you guys have to spend a bundle of your own money for better equipment than the stuff our contractors hand out. I guess your pay doesn't go very far, does it? You ought to have a rich daddy, like me.

"So today is Thanksgiving and we're chewing on the bird here with friends and family. Yeah, too bad you aren't home. You're over there getting shot at. Tough luck. Hey, if you were on the ball, you wouldn't even be in the war zone. Look how my daddy kept me safe from the fighting in Viet Nam, and I even had a great time learning how to fly, on the taxpayers' dime, when some idiots were fighting and dying in those jungles. Either they had some weird ideas about patriotism or their daddies weren't rich enough.

"But don't let it get you down, you know, we compensate your families pretty well when you get killed, and who knows, you may even survive. They're doing wonders with prosthetics now. Well, they should, look at all the practice we're giving them. But if you do buy the farm, first tell your mother not to get on my case, all right? Ugh, that lady last year, and when I was on vacation, too! How inconsiderate can you get? If everybody followed me around just because her kid got killed in my war, I'd have thousands of them after me. Some people are really insensitive, aren't they?

"Well, it's been nice talking to you and all that, but it's time for the next course, so I'm going to run now, and leave you to the insurgency. Have a good one!"

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.
H L Mencken

一種很久沒見的器皿：藥壺。從前每一家有此器，高形，有嘴、柄、蓋，低溫鬆陶，很容易一碰璺到底。用來熬中藥。搬家時要摔破，不帶到新居，表示疾病不帶入新宅。

在新店遇到幾個部落的小朋友。一個烏來國中男生看到我，說，嗷, Yugan!旁邊一個烏來國小女生看了，想了一下，說，嗷，我知道，你就是那個狗的那個。

That's me, 就是那個狗!

What one person takes for granted may astonish another.

The other day, an acquaintance casually mentioned the tv program she had watched while she ate breakfast.

"What? You watched television at breakfast?" The idea that someone would watch television before she left for school astonished me.

Further discussion. I explained that I have never lived in a house with a television. That astonished her.

42% of Americans eat dinner in front of the television every day! Isn't that astonishing?

歌，甲
Chang and I went to fetch Yulaw home, as he was too drunk to return unassisted. Yulaw is one of Wulai's best singers. Perhaps in honor of my support, when we had stuffed him into the backseat, he launched into Feelings. He began in English, Feelings, nothing more than feelings, teadroz rolling don on my fez ~~ he fizzled out and fudged a few lines: feelings lie aaa nedda goz you bay n feelings lie aaa medda gabyagininma haaaaaat. He muddled along in like fashion for a few more lines, and suddenly burst out with qnag nnaq txaina xi 冰箱, which is Tayal for "eat as much as you like and put the leftovers in the refrigerator." I was awestruck. It fit the meter perfectly, and flowed very naturally into the song. Of course, it didn't do a lot for the sentiment of lost feelings, but when he pulled out that soulful 冰箱~~~~~ (a borrowing from Mandarin, as there is no word in Tayal for refrigerator), I knew I was listening to a master.

歌，乙
Sinkang的bus右側燈壞了，所以跑了最後一趟把車子送保養廠，不載客，車上只有一個乘客， Yugan是也。車上兄弟兩個，無外人，他就唱歌。歌聲很好，可是唱的是一般流行歌。我聽了一陣，終于不耐煩說，Sinkang, iyat pongan mkwas mukan, 不想聽這種，唱泰雅歌吧。他誤會了，同一首歌用泰雅語重唱，邊唱邊編歌詞。我說，Sinkang，唱泰雅歌，泰雅歌茁壯，不要唱平地人的歌；平地人的歌娘娘腔，沒有氣勢，在山上唱這個幹啥？Sinkang不解，我索性放聲唱了Stenka Razin的第一段(Stenka Razin是俄羅斯Cossack族民間英雄，十七世紀起義造反)。Sinkang聽了就開竅了，說，Yugan，這首歌很雄偉、很威武。我說，沒錯，所以Sinkang以後不要再唱那種平地人的娘娘歌，不適合男人唱。保養廠已經到了，我下車說，Sinkang，我以後再教你唱，歌詞隨便你編。

Quleh's mournful eyes were full of nostalgia.

"Yugan, did you know I can speak Spanish? Yugan, in Spanish, Mister is Senor, Mrs is Senora, a senorita is a young lady, and you can say chica, and in Spanish to say Thank you, you say…. you say… you say something else.

"Yugan, not many Aborigines can speak Spanish, but I can speak Spanish because I worked on a fishing boat, and we fished in the Atlantic. We sold our fish to Japan for sashimi. The Japanese say Taiwan's fishermen are seigai ichiban! That means, the best in the world.

"Our fishing boat went to Uruguay. The people in Uruguay speak Spanish. They are very friendly, they are nice people, Yugan. I met a pretty girl, she was very pretty, her hair was like this and her figure was like this, and she said 'I love you.’

"She gave me her address, so the next day I went to her house to visit her. I wanted to take her a gift, Yugan, so I went to the captain and said, 'Captain, a senorita said to me, "I love you." Today I am going to her house and I want to take her a gift. Captain, may I take her a fish?' Captain said, 'Yes, Quleh, you may take her a fish. Choose a fish, and I will charge you for labor only, and take it out of your wages.’

"So I went to the freezer, Yugan, and found the best fish in the freezer for her. Yugan, Taiwan fishermen are very good, the Japanese say Taiwan fishermen are the best in the world, so the freezer was full of good fish. I chose the best one for her. It was a sailfish and weighed about 300 pounds.

"So I took the sailfish and got a taxi. The sailfish was very big, Yugan, it was this big, and it was very heavy, but there were a couple other Tayal tribesmen on the boat and they helped me put the sailfish in the taxi.

"First we had to go through Customs. The man in Customs said, 'Where are you taking this big fish?' I said, 'A senorita said, "I love you," so I am taking this fish to her for a gift.' The Customs man said, 'You have to pay duty on this fish.' I took a ten dollar bill, ten dollars US, and put it in his pocket. He smiled at me and said, 'Have a good time with your senorita.’

"The taxi took me to the senorita's home, but Yugan, it was a big sailfish, it weighed about three hundred pounds, so I could not get it out of the taxi by myself. The senorita came and with her father and her mother and her brothers and sisters, we pulled the sailfish out of the taxi and took it into her house.

"Then her father and mother started sawing the sailfish, because it was very big. But it was frozen solid, Yugan, so it was very difficult to saw. Her brothers and sisters held the fish and her father and mother sawed it with a saw, but the sailfish was frozen as hard as a brick, so it was very hard to saw.

"Her father and her mother were very happy. They told me, 'Don't go back to Taiwan, stay in Uruguay.' I said, 'I have to go back to Taiwan.' Yugan, I had not done my military service yet, so I had to come back.

"Two days later our boat went to sea again. Then we went to Capetown and to India and then we came back to Taiwan. When I came back I was drafted into the army, and after I got out of the army, I never went to sea again, so I never went back to Uruguay to see my senorita.”

Quleh heaved a sigh and thought for a moment, his eyes far away. "I wonder how they cooked the sailfish.”

I excused myself and left. The image of the ardent Tayal swain taking a frozen 300 pound sailfish to present to his lady love was too much for me. I wanted to tell him, "Quleh, you could have taken her a red, red rose.”

現在很多父母說，要孩子獨立。其實，我覺得他們的意思是，我不要你煩我的時候我就要你獨立，可是你還是要聽我的話：我的意見永遠是你的聖旨。

天主徒很喜歡看天主釘在十字架上痛苦的樣子：甚麼心態，我不了解。不然就是祂老人家開膛示心。天主受苦，教徒叫作passion、the passion of Christ。

「百香果」是譯音：譯的很漂亮。名字本來是菲律賓的教徒取的，因為他們認為百香果剖開，很像耶穌的那棵心，所以叫passion fruit>>>百香果。

從前百香果很難買，因為沒有人種，只有野生種。說也奇怪，有百香果在，蛇就喜歡來。所以以前只有原住民敢採，只有原住民賣，只有一個季節。我第一次看到百香果，三十幾年前在羅東菜市場外面，一位ptasan rqyas na weya Tayal(紋面泰雅長老)腳邊放一紙箱，裡頭的果都很小，可是很快賣完了。當時一般臺北人不知道有這個水果，臺北買不到；沒有國語名字，宜蘭閩南語叫「番仔木瓜」。

現在很多人種。去年龜山雙溪口一個太太菜園邊種兩個，長了五六顆果實。她一個鄰居問，百香果妳敢種嗎？蛇很多。第二天太太到菜園，想起鄰居的話，抬頭一看，百香果上面就有一條兩尺長的青竹絲。她二話不說，刀子拿出來把兩個百香果從根部割掉，然後馬上跑回家，好幾天不敢到菜園。

In a review of Blood Money in the LA Times Book Review, Boston U Professor Andrew J Bacevich said, "Could it be that the so-called global war on terror is in actuality little more than a scheme to bilk the taxpayer and loot the resources of those we claim to liberate?"

As of October 31 of this year, 2,818 American soldiers had died in combat in Iraq. Before long, Bush will have killed more Americans than bin Laden.

The war costs US$250 million a day. Every day. Six or seven months of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are equal to 35 years of cancer funding. So if you figure in the Americans who die from cancer because of retarded research, he has killed a lot more than bin Laden.

Hail to the Chief.

有人提倡在臺北辦奧運。我真希望政治人物務實，不要只顧造勢愚民抓權。我們需要的是冷靜深思，為國民長久利益著想，而不是一味譁眾取寵。

假設臺北可以爭取到辦奧運的機會(學英文的人請注意：這句是與事實相反的假設語氣)，該不該爭取？

我極力反對。為甚麼？因為每次辦奧運，不論在哪一國，吃虧的是中下階層的人，受益的是大官與財團；自然環境一定是大輸家。

道理很簡單。臺灣有沒有舉辦奧運的設備？沒有，對不對？需要興建，對不對？要建體育場，需要地。地有兩種：有人與沒有人的地。如果選擇有人的地蓋，他們會選甚麼樣的地段？會拆富貴人家的豪宅？或者把一些好欺負的弱勢團體趕走？(想想新莊捷運，呂副總統叫痲瘋病患滾蛋的情形，就知道答案。)

如果選擇沒有人的地蓋，美麗的山河林海又要遭殃。為甚麼口口聲聲喊愛臺灣的人卻那麼樂于給寶島開膛破肚？要是我，我不忍心。

臺灣沒有舉辦奧運的設備，所以需要興建。興建的工程龐大，一般民間中小企業一定不勝任，只有大財團可以投標，勢必用泰勞降低成本。這樣對中下階層、黑手、小本生意、弱勢團體有多少好處呢？

臺灣還是有很多人需要照顧。我不肯花下巨大的公帑來滿足幾個政客的野心與虛榮心、把巨富餵得更肥。我寧可為臺灣作有益的事。

Lately there has been some hoopla about hosting the Olympics in Taipei in 2020. Yeah, you probably wonder what they've been smoking, too.

Just for the sake of discussion, let's ignore the practical impossibility of Chinese Taipei's hosting the games.

Hasn't anybody noticed the climate in Taipei? If they really had the Olympics here, in any events that weren't rained out, the athletes who weren't flattened by the humidity would suffer heat stroke long before they finished their events. Summer is typhoon season, and during typhoon season, a typhoon every week is not unusual. How are you going to carry on extended athletic events in this kind of climate?

Never mind that, I am dead set against having the Olympics here, for two main reasons. First, are there no pressing problems in Taiwan that should take priority over ultra-expensive athletic events? Second, who benefits and who suffers? I guarantee the middle and lower classes will only suffer, and not benefit in any way. Simply put, we don't have the stadiums for Olympic events, so they have to be built. Where would they build them? Do you think they would tear down rich people's expensive houses to make space for the stadiums?

Either that, or they will destroy more of Taiwan's natural beauty to replace with ugly stadiums. I always marvel at the eagerness of people who shout "Love Taiwan" to destroy this beautiful island.

Putting up large stadiums would be a huge undertaking, far beyond the reach of the small and medium businesses. The firms that won contracts would be Big Business; in other words, consolidating more riches among a few mega-companies. In order to keep down costs and win the bidding, the big companies would hire Thai and Filipino labor to build the stadiums. Please tell me how this benefits the little guy. (Of course, the DPP administration has never shown great willingness to do much for the little guy.)

The Olympics have generally been held to the detriment of the little guy, in any country. I fail to understand why we should spend great gobs of public money to satisfy the vanity and ambition of political hacks, and to feed the greed of the fat cats.

前幾天在橋頭等車到臺北，水映雲，一圈一圈漣漪不斷：溪魚成群覓食。烏來住了十年，首一次看到的。封溪果然有用。

An epitaph on the tomb of the Emperor Babur (d 1530) in Kabul lists the eight fundamental qualities for a ruler:
Lofty judgment, noble ambition, the art of victory, the art of government, the art of conferring prosperity upon his people, the talent of ruling mildly the people, the ability to win the hearts of his soldiers, love of justice.

Good criteria for any leader in any age.

昨天中午書房來了一隻虎頭蜂，開窗送出去。傍晚又來了一隻(同一隻嗎？跟牠還不熟，不認識)，引牠上手帕，輕輕地帶到外頭送行。附近或許有新巢，該巡查一下，也要小心，因為只要被五隻虎頭蜂叮就賽牙挪啦，不是開玩笑的。

生死在一呼一吸之間。偶爾提醒自己也不錯。

但話又說回來，虎頭蜂為甚麼會攻擊？從未聽說野狗山豬甚麼的被虎頭蜂叮死，難道不會進入虎頭蜂的地盤嗎？我曾觀察過虎頭蜂巢，旁邊就有蝴蝶、鳥、松鼠，虎頭蜂置之不理；我站的地方離蜂巢約四步而已，也不理我。那麼為甚麼「虎頭蜂會攻擊人」是常識？或許因為人與山對立，人以各不相讓的心態闖山，虎頭蜂感覺到不合、舛忤，不舒服，就攻擊。平地人多帶都市氣息入山，原住民上山往往為了漁獵；殺氣騰騰。身上肉味、煙味、內燃機味、都市污染、各種山裡沒有的氣、味，讓山跼蹐。
:
十幾年前捐軀的陳義興老師是佛弟子。他被虎頭蜂叮死的時候是帶學生郊遊，學生丟石頭打蜂巢；我相信，陳老師的本意絕不願冒犯蜂群，但為了學生安全，只好擔當起業障。這是菩薩行，非常例。
:
我與山 =：包括一切土石草木蟲獸：= 的相處是和平共存。我敬重天地，而不肯怕天地，因為怕是對立。與天地對立幹甚麼？我們也是天地的一份子。太多次，蛇可以把我咬死卻沒有；太多次，山可以把我跌死卻沒有；太多次，石可以把我壓死卻沒有。我感激山放過我。己所不欲，勿施于天地萬物。

The Jingpo, or Kachin, celebrate Shapawng Yawng Manau 豐年祭 every year. The dancing is lead by the jai wa, a shaman bard who recites prayers and mantras. Nobody may dance until he begins, but once he has begun, the dancing may continue for days without stop.

At some celebrations, thousands of Jingpo attend. "The manau can be large or small," says former Taiwan Jingpo Association President Zit Hkun Chang Sau 台灣景頗族同鄉會前任會長孔大發先生. Here he performs the manau dance, and this is as small as it gets: one Jingpo. He did not bring his own sword, so I lent him a Tayal headhunting knife. I have recorded the dance, songs, and speeches, which I am now uploading onto
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=yugandali

Some of the most savage fighting of World War II occurred when the Japanese advance towards India was blocked in Burma. "We Kachin, the British, and the Americans did all the fighting. As soon as the Japanese attacked, all the Burmese ran home and hid in their toilets." If the Japanese had broken through to the resources of India, the war would have ended differently, and life today would be much less comfortable for the rest of us.

The Kachin, or Jingpo, are justifiably proud of their record. "We are born to carry swords. The British were impressed when they ran into us in the 19th century, because even if we retreated, we put up a stiff fight as we retreated. It seems we are born knowing how to fight. That is why a Kachin was chosen as the chief of Queen Victoria's bodyguard during the 19th century. We are calm under fire, and we survive.

"Lazum wan Bau took a shot in the stomach once, and his intestines were spilling out. He just tied himself up with his shirt and kept fighting.

"Once when I was 20 years old, I was on point. We ran into a communist ambush. Just as I came to the top of a hill, I spotted two sentries who were waiting for us. I shot them both immediately, and without thinking fell flat on the ground. The other soldiers in my unit started to run when the communists opened fire, and four were killed. Bullets went through my pants leg, right above the knee, but I came out without a scratch. Nobody trained me to do that, I just knew that as soon as I killed the sentries, I had to fall flat. I don't know how I knew it, I knew it because I am Kachin.

"In our unit, there were three Kachin. We fought guerilla warfare for several years. The other soldiers were not Kachin, and as they got killed, new men replaced them. After several years of fighting, the only soldiers left from the original muster were us three Kachin. We were the only ones who survived, and all three of us survived. It seems we are born knowing how to fight. We are born to carry swords.”

The Jingpo / Kachin of Burma and Southwestern China have three main types of songs: munau, or harvest celebration 豐年祭 songs, ceremonial songs, and love songs. 台灣景頗族同鄉會前任會長孔大發先生 former Taiwan Jingpo Association President Zit Hkun Chang Sau sang a love song (which is, I suspect, his favorite, and most well practiced style) at the annual meeting of the Jingpo in Taiwan; I have posted that at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk3wpjD6v2g. Today when he and Lazum Wan Bau/金國光先生visited Wulai, he sang the other two styles, and performed the munau dance. I filmed them and am posting them on youtube, but that takes time.

In this clip, he sings a ceremonial song in the A Zi Ni dialect of Jingpo景頗語小山話, his native language. He has an excellent voice; this recording does not do him justice. This is新店樂成 a song sung in celebration, such as for a new house. Yung wang zige 永往直歌 in Azini, n ta di shang ai in Jihpaw.

Because of size limits, I had to record the song in 3 parts. This is the first part. For the other two parts, please go to http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=yugandali

從前，陶朋舍的老闆老曾請了一個男助理，綽號阿寶。阿寶勤勞認真，可是有一個毛病：崇拜名人。老曾不屑。

有一次店裏來了一個客人，阿寶招待，異常用心。客人看了一回兒，沒買東西，阿寶畢恭畢敬地送到門口開門告別。門一關，阿寶很興奮，說，「老曾，你看到了沒有？你不知道那是誰嗎？他就是《哪一台》晚上《哪一個連續劇》的演員某某某！！」

老曾冷淡問，「又怎麼樣？」

阿寶說，「他是名人耶！」

老曾說，「名人有甚麼了不起？還不是要大便。」

Congratulate me on my superhuman restraint.
The other day I took my friends from California to see the sights in Wulai. As we neared Rahaw, the next village into the mountains, somebody pointed out a pleasant looking house and said, "Look what a nice job they've done with the tiles on that house.”

I managed to keep from saying, "Yes, but you have to remember, this is a Tayal village.”

I didn't want to get pushed out of the moving car.

Here's a pretty quandary. Compare these.

A, in his memoirs, Chef Justice Earl Warren wrote that Eisenhower told him, concerning integration, that Southerners "are not bad people. All they are concerned about is to see that their sweet little girls are not required to sit in school alongside some big overgrown Negroes.”

B, in Seeds of Change , Henry Hobhouse said, "The behavioral problem of slavery, serfdom, and free workers is one of the relationship between master and man. For the noble, an air of hereditary superiority was an essential from early childhood. For superiority to have validity, it is necessary that the dependents should be made to feel inferior at all times. It is to this factor, as necessary in feudalism as in slave societies, that we may ascribe white male attitudes to gender and race.”

West Africans were chosen as slaves because they inherited immunity to malaria, which wiped out all others who attempted to inhabit the fertile Gulf Coast and Caribbean islands. Once that was established, slave labor produced rich profits, so the slave owners needed some way to justify themselves, to "blunt men's minds to this monstrous aberration," as Hobhouse puts it.

I am not singling out Ike; he was moderate, and worked to desegregate, but his statement typifies a mindset. What I am interested in here is not particularly racialism per se, but that some people feel that their embedded viewpoints (on any topic) are the outcome of logical thought, while actually, those viewpoints are the result of dishonest rationalization (dishonest in the sense of not dealing honestly with one's own motives).

How careful we are to hide from ourselves!

………now, what did I write this for?

頑強
往大崎腳公車在七張站上下車的人很多，司機前後門都開，一直叫下車的客人從前門下，因為要刷悠遊卡，上車的從後門上。一個太太帶著買菜的推車，硬從前門擠上車，大家非常不方便。司機抱怨：「我叫你們上車的人從後門上，妳從前門上，大家都不方便。」太太理直氣壯頂他：「沒有關係，我只有到終點站而已。」

洪武明太祖，韃靼/Tatar叫Tonguz Khan豬可汗。猜是因為明朝姓朱。如同毛澤東與朱德征服中國大陸，口諺殺豬拔毛。

部落幾位媽媽、祖母帶一群小朋友到新店看電影，飛機上有蛇。我問，烏來蛇很多，還要看電影嗎？

上公車，三個小朋友開始唱歌，很好聽。可是靠近都市，人慢慢多，兩個小孩漸漸不出聲，只剩一個小男生繼續唱、一直唱。到青潭快到新店，他小五的表姐罵他，「嘴巴不停！你旁邊坐兩個老人，你這樣唱不會不好意思嗎？」小男生很自在回答，「不會。」繼續唱。

Obesity has become so prevalent in the United States that astronomical differences are now being measured in heavy years, light years having disappeared under a rising tide of American fat.

我大學時曾在大禹嶺遇識武藝高人林程財，與論武，我說由于課業重，時間全花在上面，怕武退步。他說，沒關係，養氣：讀書也是在養氣。

信。同樣招式一直練，容易滯于同一程度。正拳會了，基本上還是正拳，用之得宜為要。但該如何進步？我多年後困于斯，讀了一本和尚的武書，說武的次第：形、氣、意、神。諦論。

練太極者多自豪，以內架比我們外架高尚，大概是一種瞧不起勞動的延伸(抑或經不起操練)。外架若止于形，窒。但內架倘不練形，氣由何而生？且武不僅要擺出飄逸姿態自賞。要打！

練武如同修內聖外王：練武若傷身，偏；但練拳若不能出手禦敵，哪叫作「武」？練內架，多失于此。武者養生，也護生。

台灣景頗族同鄉會前任會長金國光先生 Mr Lazum Wan Bau, former President of the Taiwan Jingpo Association has asked me to publish this open letter on my blog.
+=+=+=+
2006.10.18 wun pawng JingHPaw ma ni A myit Hkrum Zut Hpwang, anhte Gaw, (Ka Chn Re), anhte gaw, Jing Hpaw mung Gaw Li ya n na Yuwai re jiwoi ni re, ai. 1961 Lining e anhte Jinghpaw ma ni, Tai Wan desa wasai, daishi Jing Hpaw mani, Lining myi Kaw ki LangLang Jing Hpaw ma myit hkrumzput hpawng hpawng gaai, Bai n na mantan Lingai myigaw, mu nau mu nau gaai, nam BatLi Gaw mu nau, mu nau gaai, nam Bat mu Sum gaw BuGa na Jing Hpaw ma a htwang Bau n en hku n na, n dakana Hpai saw a ai Hawng Raw dum n na Htawng ka ka gaai. Anhte muwa mung nna waai numroi mu ngashi mu sum re ai, yagaw ma ni Hte yawng raiyang (100 E 3) Re.
(ngai a ede re si) Mr Kinku Kon (Lazum Wan Bau), 481 Chung Shin Road, Chung Li Lung Tan, Tao Yuan, Taiwan 325 ROC
(fon nam bat) 886 3 4705407
+=+=+=+

Since I do not know the language, I am hoping I have not made too many typos. I believe I have deciphered that last line: fon nam bat.

I received a great honor today. At the annual gathering of the Jingpo (Kachin), the台灣景頗族同鄉會Taiwan Jingpo Association presented me with a 匾額/wooden plaque which says:
宏揚景頗族
本族誠摯之友陶老師維極留念
台灣景頗族同鄉會代表
孔大發
金國光
閻光明 同贈
Spreading Jingpo Culture
Presented by the Taiwan Jingpo Assocation
to Mr G B Talovich
A TRUE FRIEND OF THE JINGPO

There is a small number of Jingpo, or Kachin, in Taiwan; first, second, and third generations, only about a hundred all told, what ex-Association President孔大發 Kung Dafa calls a mini-minority. Here前任會長金國光先生 former Association President Lazum Wan Bau addresses the gathering in the Jingpo tongue, of which there are three main dialects.

前任會長孔大發先生 former Association President Kung Dafa sings a Jingpo love song.

Jingpo Association President 會長張珊先生 dances to the beat of his own drum.

For further articles about the Taiwan Jingpo Association, please read entries on this blog for April 15, 2006, November 27, 2005, and November 29, 2004.

A jolly time was had by all.
I have posted photos of the event on http://www.flickr.com/photos/94448433@N00/ . For more videos, please visit http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=yugandali

up and up
I haven't updated my blog for several days because I have been uploading clips onto youtube. That took a long time. The quality is not great, because I took these with my digital camera, but they give you a good idea. I have a sampling on my post for November 7. If you'd like to see all of them, please go to
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=yugandali

Hope you enjoy them!

This evening there was a dance performance hosted by Wulai dance troupes with guest performers from 中國西南民族大學 The Southwestern University of Ethnic Nationalities of China.

The show began at 7. I arrived at the theater right at 7, only to be turned back: "People have been coming in since 5:30, there's not even standing room." A moment after I had been turned back, three young Tayal from Tampya, the next village, met the same fate. "We've come a long way to see this, how can you turn us away?”

We put our heads together. This theater, a private company that puts on shows for tourists, just opened a few weeks ago. Hey, you know, there's that other stairway around in back, yeah, but it's all blocked up with boulders, well, what are we waiting for? We climbed up over the boulders, across a little plank that led across the gap to the construction (don't look down), and found ourselves just around the corner from the theater door. But that door was being watched too, so we went in through the fire exit.

The theater was packed, but space was made for us in the corner up in the very back of the theater, just as the show began. The first act was the local Mhaway Su Dance Troupe 麻懷素舞蹈團. They performed traditional Tayal dance steps in a modern manner; a very good combination of the old and the new. The dancing burst with energy. By the middle of the dance, the men’s upper bodies were glistening with sweat.

The next performer was from SWU, a famous 哈薩克Hasak singer accompanied by four male dancers. The singer sang operatic style, and the dancers danced like modern dancers anywhere. This set the tone for the evening. The Tayal dances were powerful to the point of savagery, the SWU dancers polished and sophisticated. When the Tayal dancers finished, the men looked like they were ready to go out headhunting; when the SWU male dancers finished, especially the set of four, they looked like they were ready to jump into a hot tub together.

Back further in the mountains at the far southern end of Wulai Township is the village of Mangan福山. If you count Principal, Teachers, and all of the students, Mangan Elementary School boasts a grand total of 32 souls. The entire 2nd through 6th grade clambered onto the stage for their performance. They took their places and prepared to dance a modern representation of Tayal weaving, which was vital to the culture. They took their places and waited for the music to start. They took their places and waited for the music to start… their teacher came on stage and said, "I'm sorry, but has anybody seen our music? We can't find out CD…" The kids waited for the music to start.

The teacher said, "Sayux balay, we haven't found our CD yet, so in the meantime, I will sing a song for you." She sang 泰雅搗米歌a Tayal rice-pounding song, "But you have to accompany me!" she told the audience, so everybody started clapping, with many singing along, shouting, and cheering. The kids from Mangan waited patiently.

Finally the music was found and the kids performed a charming weaving dance. Then they portrayed hunters, but we couldn't figure out if they speared a monkey or a boar.

Southwestern took the stage next. They performed a 維吾爾Uighur dance, although I never knew Uighur traditional dress for women included gold lame high heels. Chao assures me that Uighurs dance in heels, but gold lame? No wonder one of the dancers fell over. The audience was respectfully quiet. When the Tayal dancers goofed, the audience erupted in shouts and cheers. Overall, the audience was cheerful and boisterous, calling out to the performers, making loud comments, cheering, and clapping with gusto. The audience appeared to be almost solely Tayal.

This was followed by a bizarre Tibetan dance that began with five young men leaping out onstage and singing a few lines of rap. The Tayal laughed at this act, laughed at, as in derision. The singer pulled off a series of good stomps that brought some admiration, but for the most part, the audience’s reaction was, What is this all about? Weird!

Overall, the Southwestern troupe's dances were so polished and sophisticated that they had no ethnic flavor at all. The vestiges of Soviet instruction were obvious. The pantomime in which the passel of youths ogle the saucy damsel, I saw that years ago in a Yugoslav production, again years later in a Cossack production, and again onstage in Wulai by the Southwestern troupe; identical, except for the costumes. In the way circus audiences want to see seals balance balls on their noses, the PRC ideal seems to be that the ethnic minorities are reduced to colorful costumes and a few traditional movements; circus audiences don't want to see seals acting like seals, and the Powers That Be don't want these minorities to act like minorities. Behave according to our expectations and standards.

The Tayal were getting bored and leaving. I got a seat. "Aw, Yugan, you've come." Silan climbed in over the railing, and took a seat in front of me, in the front row. We patiently watched musical performances, including another operatic singer. It didn't sound much different from any other operatic singing you have heard, except for the language.

Next was a skit of gaga na Tayal/ traditional Tayal life. Stage right, two boys pounded rice. Stage center, a woman made thread for cloth. (Technical foul: that was Baize, and she's 鄒Tsou tribe. But we'll let it pass. Her kids are half Tayal.) Stage left, a girl practiced her weaving sitting on the ground pressing the qungu/loom with her feet. The mhoni/wise old lady, or witch, inspected her weaving and declared it satisfactory. She then began matas/the tattooing ceremony. The girl was wrapped in the cloth she wove and the mhoni began tattooing her face. Only when a youth's face had been tattooed was a young man or woman eligible for marriage.

The Japanese stamped out facial tattoos during their Occupation of Taiwan, but even today the Tayal baq gaga are very careful about observing traditions. Before the dancing started, the announcer very cautiously announced that the adult dancers had tattoos drawn on their faces, but not to worry, ini ptasan liquy, the children are underage, so tattoos have not been drawn on their faces. That would offend the ancestors.

The very dramatic, very solemn beginning of Southwestern's production of Alilang was interrupted by a loud shriek. Silan spotted Pasang heading through the darkness for the exit, right in front of us, and the temptation was too strong for a bored Tayal to resist. Silan's hand snaked out of the darkness and took Pasang by the throat. eeeeYYYaaaaaaAAA! Fortunately, the dancers probably took it for some sort of cheer.

The last Tayal act was Wulai Jr High, and their performance was the most traditional. It began with a cutout of a boulder. A boy crouching behind the boulder shot off a party popper. Then he and a girl came out, peered around, and walked off hand in hand. This enacted the Tayal creation myth, the boulder being Pinsbkan.

The show ended with a faux-Tibetan number, a la Soviet ballet, by Southwestern. It was a rousing number, their best of the whole evening, although definitely not what you think of when you picture Tibet. My memory card was full by then, so I captured that only in my memory, not my camera.

What was left of the audience dispersed. Very quickly a consensus was reached: the Tayal performance was far superior to Southwestern's, and this conclusion was reached after objective contemplation and soul-searching lasting anywhere up to four or five seconds. Everybody agreed: the Southwestern troupe was fancy, but they can't dance as well as Tayal.

I spotted Abus and he told me to get in his car, he'd drop me off on the way home. His daughter World was sleepy, so she didn't jump up and down on my head. Abus sang along to Naluwan on the CD player. He turned it off when the song finished and said, "Yugan, what do you think? Didn't the Tayal dance better?”

"Definitely.”

"And their costumes. The Tayal outfits were better, too. Theirs didn't look authentic.”

"That's for sure.”

Abus gave a very satisfied nod. "Yugan, Tayal are still the best performers. Nobody can sing or dance like we can." Now that is what I call a good, disinterested, objective judgment.

phpah na agyaq
芒草的花，若要插，只有剛開的一兩天可以收，錯過那一兩天，或下雨，再割芒花，籽會掉的滿地。

坐公車過臺大，司機問，臺大有下人嗎？
忍住，忍住，很想回，不怕！不怕！

Rest assured that the Bush administration is doing all it can to protect you from terrorism: your tax money at work!

A US$200,000 Homeland Security anti-terrorism grant has paid for 60 surveillance cameras to guarantee the security of Dillingham, Alaska. Dillingham is 300 miles from Anchorage and has a population of 2,400 persons, but no roads linking it to anywhere else.

Take that, Taliban! Be afraid! Be very afraid! Know that if you ever try to take over Dillingham, Alaska, your every movement will be watched by surveillance cameras! Osama and his buddy Saddam must be quaking at the very thought.

What would be even more daunting than taking over Dillingham, Alaska, would be the prospect of even finding it.

On the spur of the moment I decided to loop around back on my way into the house. Up near the ditch, a boar's jaw was lying on the ground, in perfect condition. It hadn't been chewed on. There was no sign of the rest of the boar or any indication of how it got there. Just a flawless jawbone.

I happened to see a newspaper ad:
Mr T's Rule #17
Don't procrastinate, fool!
You'll get in a rut always sittin' on your butt.

All very well and good, although who the REAL Mr T is may be open to debate. The only reason I bring this up is, this marvelous gem of poetry appears in an advertisement for a television series. Watching television means always sittin' on your butt.

Of course, watching television blurs your mind so much you don't even notice these contradictions.

上回，施明德給白跪的學生獻野薑花，說野薑花是臺灣原生種植物。不好意思雞蛋裡挑骨頭，可是對不起，野薑原產印度。

野薑是俗名；學名「穗花山奈」，亦名山奈、蝴蝶薑、薑花；英文名為ginger lily、white butterfly ginger lily、white ginger。巴西山奈成患；原是黑奴從非洲帶來種，以葉為牀。

當然，施明德講錯，沒那麼重要。山奈郁香依然。

五六年前一個學生問我一個奇怪的問題。他說他申請到了Kansas的某一所大學，可是他猶豫不敢去，因為有人跟他說Kansas墳墓很多。他問我是不是真的。
我說我從來沒聽說Kansas墳墓比別州多；當然有人住就有人死，所以墳墓一定是有的，但不至于特別多。
他堅持他聽到的就是Kansas墳墓多，陰氣會不會很重？
我跟他講，我媽是Kansas人，從來沒聽她講那裡墳墓特別多；我好友Roger也是Kansas人，從沒聽他說鬧鬼的是事。
學生還是怕怕的。
我百思不解，怎麼會有這種想法？
事情過了一兩年後我才恍然大悟。
知道原因嗎？

他認為Kansas墓園多，
一定是因為
有人告訴他
Kansas有很多
牧原。

HORRID HALLOWEEN!

俗語說，夜路走多了會碰到鬼。
補習班十點下課，我以前天天走夜路，夜路上沒碰到過鬼。
後來才明白，
本身就是洋鬼嘛~~~~

Horrid Halloween.
天氣涼了，記得多穿衣服。

Isn't it strange that people say Happy Halloween? That's not the spirit of the season at all! It should be
HORRID HALLOWEEN!

The wonders of the Internet! Dutch and Indonesian zookeepers are working to develop ape-proof computer monitors. Once that is accomplished, they hope to start an on-line dating service…. for orangutans. Orangutans in different zoos will be able to get to know each other, and if they are compatible, the zookeepers will arrange dates.

If that inarticulate Irishman you've been ogling on your online dating service looks like he really needs a shave, maybe you'd better check your URL.

"… a videotape of an Army psychology program run at Fort Bliss using military police officers. The psychologists divided all the guards working one of our military prisons into two groups. One group of officers was assigned the role of temporary inmates; the others remained prison guards. The real reason for this test was not revealed.

"What army psychiatrists were actually attempting to determine was how the act of granting complete power to one group over another might escalate both groups toward extreme violence. The MPs who were to remain guards were only told that the military was evaluating escape possibilities … and to be especially vigilant. The guards pretending to be inmates were told to resist authority and to look for any possible way to break out.

"What transpired was amazing. The guards assigned to the role of prisoners didn't like being inmates. They had done nothing wrong. But their old friends were now hazing them, walking down the prison tiers ringing their batons across the bars, keeping them awake all night so they would be too tired to attempt anything. The men under lockdown became angrier, the captor guards more aggressive. After a week, sporadic incidents of violence broke out between men who had only a few days before been close friends. In the second week, the army called off the test because a violent fight broke out between the two groups, which almost resulted in the death of a guard.

"The lesson of this video was that absolute power without oversight can quickly morph into murderous rage. By the same token, complete loss of power, without appeal, can escalate behavior to exactly the same place.”
-- Stephen J Cannell, Cold Hit

Sounds like the Cultural Revolution.

My mother's comments on her 88th birthday:
"A lot of old people spend all their time complaining about being old. You can't expect to be as active at 66 as you were at 16, that's ridiculous. You have to be thankful for what you've got.

"Being realistically thankful is an important part of life.

"Look at the world today. I eat well every day, I have a nice house to live in, I have clean clothes to wear, I walk 2 or 3 miles every day, and I still have my own job. I can stand on my own two feet. I am so fortunate! Think of all the suffering in the world today! Feeling fortunate makes you feel better.”

Happy birthday, Mom.

Last time I went through Hong Kong, I bought four kinds of rare tea. The Peace Monkey King太平猴魁 has a pleasant, but not exactly tea-like taste. Silver Ears銀耳 from Szechwan四川, tastes much like Dragon Well龍井, but is slightly sour. Longevity Eyebrows壽眉 makes an excellent after-meal drink, cleaning your intestines and helping digestion. But Furry Peak毛峰 in a porcelain pot gives a sour bitter flavor, and in a pottery pot tastes exactly like urine. Blech.

When Chan wrote that he was coming from Hong Kong to visit us, I wrote and asked him to buy me some more Peace Monkey King, and see if he could find me some Furry Tip毛尖, a tea I had heard of but never seen. He brought me a splendid bag of Peace Monkey King, and told me, I couldn't find Furry Tip, but I found something close. A tip is like a peak, right? Well, I've got you some tea called Furry Peak.

Bless you, Chan, it took me almost two years to gag down that bag of Furry Peak. Most of it I foisted off on unsuspecting guests, explaining while I made it that Furry Peak is a rare, hard to buy tea (true) sold at great cost here in Taipei (also true – but nobody ever buys it twice), and then, with the air of bestowing a singular honor, I would let the poor sucker have the whole potful.

This spring Chan had another vacation that he couldn't see spending in Hong Kong. I'm coming to Taiwan, he wrote, is there anything I can buy you? Yes, I wrote, see if you can pick up some tea like Sparrow Tongue雀舌 or Common Waterears普洱, anything, anything, but you'd better be sure not to get me more Furry Peak!

Chan came, and cheerily presented me with a nice big sack of Furry Peak. I smiled, a bit crookedly perhaps, and clenched my teeth.

It came out that he had read my injunction, but forgotten the 'not.’

God wants me to drink Furry Peak, I determined. But how can there be any tea outside India and Japan that tastes so wretched? It must be the way I'm making it. So I began to experiment, using different pots, different cups, different water temperatures, different steeping times. To no avail. The only time I thought I was making some progress, I had washed the tea leaves in cold water, put them in an old glazed pot, poured in warm water, and almost immediately poured it out into a white cup. Mmm, better, better, now we’re getting someplace. But I had to be honest with myself. I say it's better because it has no taste at all. Try again. Steep a while longer. Now that's much better, I said, probing my gums with my tongue, it actually has a sweetish taste that is really quite pleasing. But then I realized that the sweetish taste which is really quite pleasing was actually the residue of the sugar-loaded red bean soup that had followed lunch. No use, I despaired, I will poison myself with this damned tea before I have learned how to make it.

Actually, though, I think one of two things will happen.

Either it will turn out that there is no way to make this stuff potable, and that it is such a rare tea for the simple reason that no-one in his right mind would want to buy it.

Or it will turn out that, once the trick of preparation has been discovered, it will be exquisite beyond comprehension, and that it is so rare because of the difficulty of coaxing such magnificence from a tea plant.

In which case I will probably never be able to buy it again.

========
Written in 1982
========
Epilogue, 2006
Several years after I wrote that I found out that my friend the gourmet, Mr Chou from Jianghsi 江西周大哥, had watched his grandfather and granduncles make Furry Peak, and he remembered how they made it. They used a fine 景德鎮 porcelain pot, poured in water only about 70C, and steeped the tea for "a stick of incense.”

"A stick of incense? You're kidding!”

"Oh, in my hometown, our incense is short and thin, so a stick is only about fifteen minutes.”

So I got out my finest porcelain pot, heated the water to only about 70C, and under Chou's careful supervision steeped the Furry Peak for about fifteen minutes.

Chou affirmed that it tasted just like the FP his grandfather made, but it still wasn't very good. I'll stick with 文山包種 green tea from Pinglin, a couple ridges over the mountains to the northeast.

我媽第一次看到你們外國人，大嚇一跳，因為你們眼睛是透明的。她很好奇，你們眼珠子這樣，你們看得見嗎？
糟糕，被妳們識破，其實我是憑聲音的。

//The first time my mother ever saw a foreigner, she was scared, because she thought you foreigners' eyes are transparent. She has always been curious about that. You Western people have transparent eyes, can you see anything?

\\Oh no, you've found us out! Actually I rely on sounds.

話又說回來，黑玻璃、透明玻璃，哪一個看得清楚？搞不好是你們黑眼珠的人才看不見。

Steph went to a Paul Simon concert recently. First, I would like to ask, what's this about the Stones? I mean, come on! Why not the Dave Clark Five. Ok, I've got that out of my system. This is what she wrote:

It was great, had a wonderful time enjoying every minute of concert! There's a, what shall I say, a gentleness? about Paul Simon. The Stones were FABULOUS DARLING!! They were over the top, and stayed there, and I may have mentioned a time or ten that seeing (hearing) Mick Jagger gave me new respect for The Vocalist, various operas notwithstanding. They don't hype the Stones as The Greatest Rock'n'Roll Band for nothing.

But Paul Simon, ah. Different. Going 95 miles an hour? No strain, no breaking rocks; just a gentle, peaceful wave. Piece of Cake! 95? Easy. The music just pouring out. This calm-type guy did have TWO complete drum set-ups. Just to show he knows what he's doing, all right! He played the old songs like a man who is older now. More feeling, less effort. As if ~ the Stones show that they've still "got it," and better than ever. Paul Simon plays "Sound of Silence" or "Bridge Over Troubled Water," without Garfunkle's vocals ~ with the "plain old" Paul Simon vocals, not trying to be Art Garfunkle, just singing the song, and playing, nothing to prove? As if, "of COURSE he's better, he's older now"... instead of, "he's older, but still good"...

I told Erin that the "places where the ragged people go" had a lot more anger back then, breaking away from (scorned by) the Rock Hudson - Doris Day world, and the way he sang it Friday night had the memory of that, and the feeling and talent. Plus, he was singing as the age he is now, with the understanding and experience he has now, and the memory of then; and the FABULOUS DARLING MUSIC! was even better, imagine that, having matured into complete freshness! ~ with "world music" rhythms, dazzling instruments and 2 drum sets. They were knocking them down and tearing the place up, but no destruction. It's like the ocean doesn't "HAVE TO" rage to be mighty.

We were in the 5th row from the stage at the Greek Theater (outdoor amphitheater) at Berkeley, WOW!!! At the end, we all had our hands up, standing and clapping. Paul Simon had his hands up to, kind of waving to the crowd. He made a pointing-finger and pointed to someone, paused, nodded, then turned and pointed to us. We had our hands up already, clapping. I pointed back to him, and he nodded, then turned and waved so gently to the crowd. We were all clapping like crazy. It was the end of the third or fourth curtain call. If I knew how to scream, I would've joined in the screaming and whistling. Erin was calling, "WOOOOOOOO!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

After that, we were slowly jostling out with the crowd, and I found myself passing a young woman a row up. I recognized the profile of her wild, kinky hair. It was in a number of points. Earlier, she had leaped into the little space in front of the stage and begun dancing, with a lot of arms and the points of her hair, in silhouette, waving like dark flames.

As she bent forward to gather her things, I bent toward her and said quietly, "Beautiful dancing." She started to look up and say thank you, but then she felt my acknowledgement was a recognition of her gift, not a compliment. She was young. Slender, muscular, much smaller than I had thought. Australian Aborigine body-type? Anyway, she felt me intuitively, that was so cool. We spent a small moment with our foreheads barely touched together. A small moment of stillness holding for a heartbeat, then sweeping on in the natural movement of the crowd.

今天寫的跟往常一樣，都是狗屁的話。
In Cleveland recently, two girls, aged 12 and 13, ran away from home. They caught a bus for Minneapolis. One of the girls brought along her dog, Bambi. She told the driver Bambi was a guide dog. Once they got on the bus, they expressed their exuberance in their freedom by stuffing Bambi with junk food. All that junk food made Bambi so flatulent that havoc ensued: it really raised a stink. There was such a commotion on the bus about Bambi's proclamations that police were required to restore peace and order (order: Bambi supplied the odor). That's when the officers discovered the girls were runaways.

Who says I don't keep up on world events?

陳小姐說，「有一次有兩個新加坡朋友到臺灣來玩，住我們家。剛好他們進房間睡覺沒多久，有小地震。他們從房間衝出來喊，『有鬼！有鬼！你們家鬧鬼！！』因為新加坡沒有地震，那次是他們一生第一次遇到地震，不知道是怎麼一回事；才躺了一下，床開始搖晃，沒有任何人搖，好像是床自己搖，以為遇到鬼了，兩個大男人穿著短褲惶張衝到客廳尖叫，我們笑到不行了。」

The US and the ROC are both afflicted with disastrous presidents. The US may be able to undo the damage Bush is doing; I am beginning to worry the ROC may not be able to undo the damage Bean is doing.

President Bean, AKA Chen Shui Bian, has admitted to taking money illegally, explaining that he used it for "secret diplomacy." At least he didn't say if he told us where he spent the money he'd have to kill us. Because of this and other allegations of corruption and incompetence, hundreds of thousands of people have taken to the streets calling for him to step down. His response has been 不看不聽 don't look, don't listen, to pretend that the demonstrations do not exist. Hardly how a mature statesman would deal with the situation.

The other day college students knelt on the pavement in front of his office, begging him to see them and explain his outlook to them. They're lucky they didn't get arrested. Of course President Bean refused to see them. Recently he said, "I am the president elected by the people, so the people are supposed to respect me/我是民選的總統，人民應該尊重我。" Whether or not he was elected by the people remains open to debate. Even if the last election was honest, which is highly disputable, he did not win a majority of the votes. He squeaked in with around forty per cent.

Regardless of that, Bean has it backward. Because he is the president elected by the people, he is duty bound to respect the people. Not necessarily obey, but respect, absolutely. It has to work both ways. Little respect has he shown the people!

He has gotten himself into this fix through confidence that he could fool all of the people all of the time. He should have known better. He should have known that all eyes would be on his act as Mr Clean. Many in his own party support him for the good of the party, regarding him disdainfully as nothing more than a pretty face that brings in votes.

But he couldn't stay clean. He could have stepped down at the end of his second term with his reputation intact, as a president who didn't do anything but at least didn't leave any unmanageable messes. Instead he has sullied his own reputation, the reputation of his party, and the reputation of all of Taiwan. Some legacy.

Another massive demonstration was held on October 10, the national holiday commemorating the revolution that ended the Ching dynasty. Bean took the microphone and said, "大家意見這麼多:Everybody has so many opinions, from now on we may not celebrate the national holiday anymore." How's that for the spirit of democracy and freedom of speech?

So Taiwan's got a 3 year old in the president's office, and hundreds of thousands of people have hit the streets to express their dissatisfaction. What are the people of the United States doing while Bush tramples on the Constitution and American political traditions?

=======
When I say the students were lucky they didn't get arrested, I refer to Bean's tenure as mayor of Taipei. During one particular DPP demonstration, hundreds of demonstrators from his party filled Kuanchien Street, the street over from Merica, where I teach. They brought traffic to a standstill, intimidated passersby, vandalized public property, turned over trashcans, spray-painted slogans on office windows, signs, cars, motorcycles, sidewalks, and the street, and practically deafened everybody with their roaring amplifiers: a pretty typical DPP demonstration, actually (I witnessed almost every one of them). Mayor Bean smiled and said the people were exercising their right of free speech.

A couple days later, three or four teachers wanted to call Mayor Bean's attention to education; I forget just what the issue was. Since he was too busy to see them, they knelt in front of his office, pleading for his attention. Mayor Bean had the police arrest the teachers and threw the book at them: obstructing traffic, creating a nuisance, disorderly conduct, obstructing government business, and so forth and so on. So I think the students got off pretty lightly.

I finally did it!
Every day the dogs sing. I can't figure out what motivates them, but from time to time, Tlahuy starts a low, rhythmic howling. Then Yumin starts baying, and Byajing joins in with yips and yodels. They are obviously harmonizing, and every time is different. They sing maybe four or five times a day. Their enjoyment in their singing is obvious. 唱是他們很大的享受，不是狗號唳，是很祥和的歌唱。A set of dogs uphill has even taken it up, too.

Today I finally succeeded in filming their performance.

The weather was so nice I made tea outdoors. 鐵觀音.

When I opened the front door this morning, Byajing was chewing happily – and noisily – on a plastic bottle they had found. Tlahuy came over to me to have his head patted. Byajing put down her bottle and came over to muscle in and get some attention. Tlahuy gave me a significant look, walked over, picked up the plastic bottle, and started chewing furiously. Byajing instantly left me to reclaim her bottle, and Tlahuy came back, wagging his tail cheerfully, to have his head patted where we left off.

很久以前，一個朋友跟我講這麼一個故事；事情發生在民國六十幾年，臺灣與大陸局勢緊張，文革還沒結束。

他在金門當兵。當時調到外島，想回臺灣，就等單位調回來吧。否則還沒退伍之前不能回來。他很想家。清明節那天他剛好有假，閒著沒事，到外面走走散散心。到了海岸邊一個隱密的小丘陵，看到三個從大陸隨軍撤退的班長，跪著對大陸燒冥紙、一直磕頭一直拜。其中一個班長哭起來了，另一個班長出拳打他，吼，「哭甚麼哭？只有你一個人想家嗎？」一講完，放聲大哭，繼續打。一下子，三個人打在一起，邊打邊哭。

我朋友說，之前沒想到，三四代祖墳都在雲林，離家不遠，不了解想家的滋味。到金門想家，其實還沒真正嘗到想家的痛苦。

=======

現在似乎臺灣很多人，只想蒐集籌碼讓自己生氣，卻不想了解，不想解決問題，不想解結。

臺灣是寶島，從來沒有經過大風大浪。也希望臺灣永遠不要有大風大浪，除了颱風以外。世界上還有甚麼地方像臺灣這麼幸福？但正因為如此，很多沒有切身經驗的人不能了解波折所留下的心態、創傷、想法、顧忌。從民國元年到二十八年，光是四川省就經歷了四百七十五起大規模內亂；小亂不計數。八年抗戰，殘暴無人性的日本軍閥終于打敗了，不再蹂躪無辜的百姓。好景不長；抗戰時，殘暴無人性的毛澤東讓蔣中正孤軍與日本軍奮鬥，保衛國家，毛留在後方養精蓄銳，不出手，等勝利後，蔣的部隊筋疲力竭時，毛才出軍蹂躪無辜的百姓，建立他的專制無理的帝國。百花齊放、三面紅旗 、文革，各種亂局接踵而至，堅守臺灣的軍人留在大陸的家眷，幾十年沒有音訊。怎麼能忍受？

三十八年來臺的人，經過了多少事，心裡的煎熬，溫室裡的花朵無法想像。可是他們為臺灣的付出、犧牲，再綠的人憑良心的話也不得否認。

我不懂為甚麼有人對臺灣那麼沒有信心，聽他們的論點，好像是說你家族沒有在日據時代當過日帝腳下的次等國民，你就不可能愛臺灣。難道後來外省人不愛臺灣？居住臺灣的外國人呢？

有人說，三十八年來臺的人自以為是上國之民，藐視本省人(先來的外省人)。不可諱言，因為日本帝國把臺灣當作廉價勞工源、渡假村，所以把臺灣與外界隔離；日據時代，外國人想要來臺灣，非常困難，也不準本地人往外(除非當砲灰、苦力、慰安婦)，所以不要說三十八年，六十幾年臺灣土到極致，社會風氣極保守、封閉，跟世界潮流落差相當大。戰前去過上海的西方人看香港，認為比起上海，香港是落伍腌髒的小村莊，而臺灣人把香港看成很國際化、很時髦的大都會；那麼上海人來臺北，要怎麼看？

我的目的不是搓圓仔、為誰找藉口，我是想了解心態的根源。我不肯活在過去誤解的陰影下；人生太短，問題要解決、突破，因為人不進則退。

其實，原住民、先來的外省人、後來的外省人，二十年前族群意識已經淡下來了，大家那時一起努力創造新的臺灣，讓臺灣在國際上揚眉吐氣。可是有政客發覺挑釁對自己有利，快被淡忘的祖籍問題才死灰復燃：有利可圖的人拼命吹。我們為甚麼要為政客的野心花這麼多心血？除了原住民以外，都是外省人，好不好？要不然，搞清楚，我們都是非洲人；畢竟人類發祥地在非洲。

如果用籍貫、族群來了解自己的由來、家族、傳統、概念，給自己定位，就非常好。可是如果用祖籍來否定別人，這是三K黨、納粹黨的惡劣手段，有知識、品德的人都唾棄。不如用血型來畫界線，分明敵友：A型人都是好的，我們的問題都是AB型人搞出來的，沒有AB型人我們A型人才能出頭天！這樣不是很無知、很幼稚嗎？

好壞且不論，再偏激的人不能否認這群後來的外省人也寫出了本省歷史的一段。

說愛臺灣，不想了解臺灣嗎？不了解這群人，怎麼了解臺灣？

在家佛弟子上殿作課穿海青，何？一則去我執，大家一樣，無有貴賤高下；一則淨目，眼不著花巧，一律黑袍，易觀心。
偶在佛堂看海青上別針，沿領一排亮晶晶閃爍耀眼別針；似到過哪些佛寺，收別針為戰利品，又可炫耀資歷深、增我慢；又搶眼，奪同修眼光。佛子不該如此。

Last night as I was playing the recorder, I decided I really needed a walk. After I swabbed out the instrument, I strapped on my headhunting knife, clapped on my rattan cap, got a flashlight, and made my way with difficulty out through the bamboo to the path. With difficulty because my dogs were flinging themselves about my feet: oh boy a hike, a hike, a hike in the middle of the night!

I took the path up to the road above where I stood choosing uphill or downhill. Yumin chose for me. He raced off the road straight up the mountainside into the darkness. A moment later Tlahuy and Byajing followed him. Nothing unusual, but then suddenly Yumin started yelping frantically. Tlahuy and Byajing plunged down to my side, peered up into the darkness where Yumin continued to thrash and yip, and rushed back up. My first thought was that he had gotten himself snared in somebody's trap. Usually when he yelps, it's because he's excited by finding prey or a wild dog, but I didn't want to take the chance of him strangling while I stood by. I called and called, but he didn't come to me: well, at least that's normal. Wishing I had brought the headlamp instead of a flashlight, I followed his yelps up the extremely steep slope.

Tlahuy and Byajing raced back and forth. Yumin was nowhere to be seen, and of course did not return my calls. I reached a spot where I could barely move forward. Thick bamboo barred my way. I could scarcely find space to plant my feet. Whether or not I had enough purchase to hack, that would have been difficult holding a flashlight. Yumin's yelping and thrashing continued, but he had moved across the slope, so he wasn't ensnared, and anyway it dawned on me that nobody would place a trap on such a steep slope.

I figured, he’s still yelping, he's okay, and carefully made my way back down the slope. Good heavens, I wouldn't want to climb that in the daytime, and here I was clutching a flashlight trying to find a way down. This is what you should expect when you have a beagle.

I reached the road just as Yumin came down another way, totally unperturbed. Maybe he was happy I joined him on his jaunt. We walked along the road, enjoying the darkness and the quiet. The quiet was soon disturbed by the growling of a motorcycle, no, motorcycles. Motorcycles were coming down the road slowly, making their way through the pitch black night: sightseers going home, they don't know the road.

Conversation was not my goal in hiking, so as the motorcycles approached, I stood off by the side of the road in the darkness where they would pass right by me without even knowing I was there.

We all know what happens to the best laid plans of mice and men. I didn't notice that the place I chose for my inconspicuous lurking was on the outside of a sharp turn, so every motorcycle's headlights lit upon a panorama of three dogs and a guy with a headhunting knife, all motionless in the darkness out in the middle of nowhere, a kilometer or more from anyplace you would expect to see someone. They gawked.

That must have given them something to talk about when they got back to the city!

When Running Dogs Want to Speak
During the Cultural Revolution, China was unknown and unknowable. Foreigners were not permitted in the country unless they were fools and communists (but I repeat myself). Ping pong diplomacy opened things up, and then Tricky Dick went. Shortly after Nixon's visit, a group of Canadian students were permitted to go to Beijing to learn Chinese, Canada never having raised communist hackles by displaying any principles. What a hullabaloo there was! Newspapers around the world reported how these young people were entering the forbidden People's Republic where they would take Chinese language lessons, and probably bond with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers. And joy of joys, if they minded their ps and qs, they might even get to meet the Great Helmsman, the Shining Star of the East, Chairman Mao himself! It was in all the papers, Time, Newsweek, and probably on radio and television news everywhere. Reporters put on Mao hats to express their solidarity with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers.

What was not reported was, a year later all the Canadian students were studying Chinese in Taiwan. Their admission had been excellent propaganda, but the Cultural Revolution was still going on. They told me that they learned all the slogans, but nothing practical. They were locked in their dorms when they were not learning how to recite propaganda in Chinese, so they really needed to know nothing practical. They never got anywhere near an unguarded laboring soldier, etc. One student told me, "We can hold a demonstration all by ourselves. We can all say The Running Dogs of American Imperialism are Criminals Meriting Ten Thousand Deaths, but not one of us knows how to read a menu or ask the way to the bathroom.”

So they all dumped the program and came to Taiwan to learn Chinese. But none of the newspapers, news magazines, radio stations, or television news broadcasts reported that. There's never been any need to express your solidarity with the masses of laboring soldiers, mechanics, and farmers in Taiwan, because you can just go out and talk to them. Not very newsworthy.

美帝走狗罪該萬死. That's how you say The Running Dogs blah blah 10,000. Just in case you need it at a demonstration.

Golden Oldies
我覺得目前臺灣學英文的風氣不太健康。英文只不過是一種溝通工具；需不需要全民英文，我並不贊成。國中畢業時有個普遍程度，能認二十六個字母，基本句型朗朗上口，夠了(今天臺灣的大學生能把二十六個字母念出正確的音沒幾個，能朗朗上口的英文只有三字經)。到高中，英文應該是選修。大學原文書，各有專注，念機械的有機械的專用術語，聲樂、醫科、陶藝、物理、舞蹈、電腦、生化亦然，各不相近；有原文書，看本行術語就明了，不必花六年準備。只有外文系才需要進一步的認識，可是念外文的有幾個？

推行全民英文的功效很難評，但我注意到一個效果；以前經常遇到很喜歡英文的人，很投入，不是為了甚麼，就是因為喜歡而已。從前這種人不少，現在鳳毛麟角；從前每一班至少一兩個，現在，我已經好幾年沒遇到過。從前英文是很多人的樂趣，現在是全民的負擔。

何況，英文的高峰已過，從2003年的巔峰，全球學英文的人數急降。全球學中文的人速增。歐美報章雜誌常強調，年輕人要有前途的話，一定要學中文；先進美國父母爭先恐後讓孩子學中文，因為大家有共識，下一代中文為世界主要語言。為甚麼十年來，臺灣給我的感覺是跟在別人屁股後撿別人五六年前玩膩的東西？

可能是因為執政者自己的心態跟不上二十一世紀，一直滯留在1950年不肯看世界；可能是為了去中國化的關係而鼓勵崇洋；可能希望老百姓無事忙沒空過問政績；可能就是一股腦兒不加思索勇敢往後面衝；我不知道。我只能說，以一個專業英文老師的身份看，目前臺灣學英文的風氣不太健康、不太正確。

現在臺灣到處可看到「英文」的招牌、解說等等。大值上，英文要進步的話，這些不要看，因為多數不知所云。到底給誰看的呀？外國人看不懂，華人不看，看中文，這些仿洋字沒有實用價值。有一次我跟一位老闆講他看板的洋文不成文，他說，那個英文是寫好看而已，是裝飾。如果要裝飾，天下沒有一種文字比國字美且富有變化，但如今崇洋的政治環境中，就是要擺出二十六個字母，證明我們愛臺灣。最近看到臺大尊賢會館發的收據，例行中「英」文並寫，英文幾乎沒有一個字對；臺大如此，其餘可想而知。

崇洋譴華、疏典忘祖的政府領導下，只要有外文，必定勝中文，縱使四不像的「外文」也好。內湖「豪華氣派」的「綠之湖」建築廣告標Lake De Green，請問這是哪一種語言？文法有點像法文，可是法文的「綠之湖」是Lac Vert(不必加de,何況de通常不大寫；不過，臺灣遇到外文亂大寫是慣例)；英文的「綠之湖」是Green Lake，如果牽強做作，可以寫Lake of Green，可是真搞不清楚Lake De Green是甚文…沒關係！只要不是中文就駭苦辣死！！

可是英文要進步的話，到底該怎麼辦呢？各家有各家的奇招異術，有的實在離譜。剛看到一個網路廣告詞:
推廣英文教育，增加收入
真正掌握自己的人生，擁有了財富
你說這種教育觀念健康嗎？這家叫作I'm ladder，連名字都不合英文文法；廣告片以兒童歌唱結尾，他們唱的是生日歌吧，但唱的像hebby busdeh do you，如果花一大筆錢讓小孩學這麼破的英文，要想一想，補習班老闆推廣英文教育，增加收入，家長還有甚麼好抱怨的呢？

前幾天聽到一個廣告，聽老歌學英語。意思是說，背很多老歌的歌詞，你就能說英語。

也許吧。可是想一想後果……

Foreigner: Excuse me, Sir, can you speak English?
老歌班畢業生先哼幾個音，然後振耳欲聾唱: Only you~~~~ can take my heart away! Only you~~~~~~~
Foreigner: Umm, well, yes sir, you have a good voice, it's really very loud, but you see, I'm lost, and I don't know the way back to my hotel.
歌生: Oh Carol, I am but a foooool!
F: That's very nice, sir, but you see~~
歌生: Joani, Joani, please don't cry, you'll forget me by and by!
F: Sir, excuse me, could you stop singing for a moment?
歌生: I'm saving all my kisses just for you!!
F拔腿而跑，跑很遠，覺得安全了。喘一口氣，可是厚鐵耳還沒找到，只好再問路人。沒想到老歌班生意很好，問的又是老歌英語生。
Foreigner: Excuse me, Sir, can you speak English?
老歌生不慌不張，先學貓王彈吉他的姿勢，再學貓王屁股扭一扭腿抖一抖，抓著無形的麥克風唱：My blue suede shoes!
F行李也不顧了，招了計程車往機場跑，下一班飛機到哪裡也不管，買票上機再說….

看呀，全民英文還有國民外交的效果!

畢竟現在的外交多屬于斷交~~~~

Bill Watterson, who did Calvin and Hobbes, comes from Chagrin Falls, Ohio. No wonder. Chagrin Falls? If you come from a place with a name like that, you need a sense of humor.

And do you remember the time we almost shot Dad with the arrow?

One pleasant weekend afternoon when I was about ten, my brother Peter and I got out the bow and arrows for some archery. We shot at this clump of banana trees growing outside the dining room, because they were a good thick, impenetrable mass. Did you know? Banana trees are not very solid. I forget who shot first, but I have a feeling I am the guilty party. We watched in amazement ::: 說時慢，那時快::: it takes longer to tell than to happen:: as the arrow shot RIGHT THROUGH the banana trees, then SPLING and SCREEEEECH!! Dad came roaring out the side door, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME???? He had been sitting at the table, and when we went to look at the scene of the crime, the arrow was lodged, stuck halfway through the pane of glass, pointing right at where he had been sitting……

深深感覺，陳水扁心中毫無民主意識。他宣佈攷慮不辦國慶的原因是，「大家意見這麼多」；他根本不了解，大家意見多才是民主最佳表現。熱愛民主的人，怕的是大家意見不多。

國慶是為全民辦的，不是為了總統一個人舉行的。希望Bean可以設法了解一下，甚麼是民主。

他講這句話非常不成熟，像小朋友打棒球：你們不給我當投手我就不讓你們玩！！臺灣已經長大了，不該再講那麼幼稚的話；必須了解，民主的意思是人民是主人，而不是大官作為人民的君主。

+++++++++

賈誼過秦論曰，「使天下之士，傾耳而聽，重足而立，鉗口而不言，是以三主失道；忠臣不敢言，知士不敢謀。」大家意見多，可喜可賀。

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."
General George S Patton\巴頓將軍

雙十雙劄
之一
古人云，半本論語治天下。其實，一句就夠了：
子曰，上好禮則民易使也。

之二
上禮拜在捷運聽到兩個男生的對話。
> 國慶是甚麼時候？
< 十月十號。
> ……(白目)….我說，國慶星期幾？
< 喔….星期一吧。

Recently I have seen t-shirts that say
A WORLD WITHOUT STRANGERS
Think of that! A world without strangers. Wouldn't that be awful? The whole world ironed out, no more kinks, no more quirks, everybody predictable, 7/11 on every corner, McDonalds on every block, a Toyota on every street, pro wrestling on cable tv in every home.

It's bad enough already. In the early 19th century, an Ohioan was discernible from a Hoosier at a glance. Now you can barely tell Russian pop music from Indonesian pop music, and the musicians all dress alike: the standard reckless rebel who dares to express his individuality by conforming docilely to universal expectations.

What an awful world it would be if you never met someone whose customs rubbed you the wrong way, or seemed impossibly weird. A world in which everybody had the same ideas, all the same habits, and you never met someone you couldn't figure out, all the bizarre diversity of humanity reduced to sterile, stagnant clones, so that there were no strangers. How could we survive without difference of customs? outlooks?

What a dreary world it would be if everybody could speak the same language. A world without strangers, what kind of ideal is that? It sounds like a threat to me.

What an awful world it would be if you never met a man you didn't like.

From Cancer Ward, by Solzhenitsyn
Epicurus has once observed that a fool, if offered eternity, would not know what to do with it….

Compulsory loudspeakers, for some reason generally regarded in our country as a sign of cultural breadth, are on the contrary a sign of cultural backwardness and an encouragement to intellectual laziness….The permanent mutter – information you hadn't asked for alternating with music you hadn't chosen (and quite unrelated to the mood you happened to be in) – was a theft of time, a diffusion and an entropy of the spirit, convenient and agreeable to the inert but intolerable to those with initiative. Epicurus's fool with eternity in hand would probably find listening to the radio the only way to bear it.
__________
==========
在蘇聯是政府強迫要聽的mutter；臺灣比較民主，是自己放的，不把耳朵震聾、頭腦震麻的話，音量不夠，再大聲一點吧！

臺北小市民生活歷史綴筆，堆石篇
一位年約五十幾的太太這樣跟我講：
>我從小在公館長大，可是我阿媽住萬華。我小時候，清明節伯父帶阿媽從萬華到景美去掃墓，他們坐火車。
<坐火車到景美？
>是啊，以前有火車從萬華到景美，路線跟現在的羅斯福路差不多，可是很慢。要四個小時。
<來回？
>不，單程，所以伯父帶阿媽到景美去掃墓，要一整天的時間。單程四小時，來回八個小時。
<好慢。
>好像燒木碳。煙很多。後來住附近的小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭，火車一來就出軌了。
<還好跑的慢。
>可是還是有一個人受傷 了。所以後來討論，這次幸好沒出大事，萬一出人命怎麼辦？所以決定把火車停開了，後來鐵軌挖掉了，現在沒有了。
<妳說路線就是現在的羅斯福路，是嗎？
>對。我從小在公館長大，所以我小時候還看過這個火車，可是因為小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭出事了，所以後來就沒有了。
================
是啊，我以老臺北自居，但這是頭一次知道以前有火車從萬華跑景美。好了，單程四小時不該用「跑」來形容。
不過，我有一個疑問。我看這位太太眼神很皮，我很想問，住附近的小孩在鐵軌上堆石頭的時候，妳在哪裡？只是因為不熟，我就不好意思問。我想，我大概知道答案。

每逢陰曆十五，我給我所有直笛上油。今晚餐前一支一支保養，一個中音笛管拿起來看裏面油均勻與否，笛中赫然明月。或許因為閏七月把月昇時計錯，沒想到六點已昇嶺上三指，豆沙月飄藍紫天。

胡舞不凡與玉人不俗陪我賞月。

Today is my favorite holiday on any calendar: 中秋節, the Moon Festival. Only the Chinese would have a holiday that is not to glorify any religion or great ego or patriotism, and has no more utilitarian value than to enjoy the full moon.

And eat. In China, everything is seen as a good reason to eat. In recent years the custom has arisen in Taiwan to barbecue and gorge as you watch the moon. Be that as it may, there's another great attraction (for me) to the Moon Festival: mooooon cakes, yummy rummy.

A further attraction: the Mid Autumn Moon Festival means that summer is over, and cooler weather is on the way. Cooler is a relative term. Usually it's around 17C in Wulai on the big night. Typically it is cloudy at dusk and moonrise for this holiday. The moon peeks out from behind the clouds at around 8:30, and at 9, just about when all the sightseers have gone back to the city, the moon shines brightly. But you really can't have a moon festival without some clouds to play with the moon.

One year it poured on the great night. Some of my friends, confined to their dorm by the gale, cut a circle out of white paper, stuck it up on the wall, and ate their moon cakes beneath their own private moon. Good enough.
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photo courtesy of Chao

Something I learned in Tae Kwon Do: some people have such powerful side kicks/側踢 that you can't block them. If you root your stance and put up a strong block, they'll just break your arms. What you want to do in a situation like that is take the kick on your forearms and float with it. If you catch it at the right angle, and the kick is powerful enough, you can spin around and use his power to launch a reverse roundhouse (後旋踢). Otherwise, float with it and be prepared to come back the instant you set down, and dog help you if you stumble. You're safest if you never even give the opponent a chance to kick.

A lot of life is like that.

Writing this reminds me of the time someone fighting in a tournament around 1969 fouled on Joe Lewis, which was definitely not a good move. (Joe Lewis was a Marine bodybuilder who picked up karate when he was stationed in Okinawa, and returned to the US to become a champion fighter and famous bad boy.) Lewis kicked him with his famous side kick; the guy blocked it, the kick broke his arm and pushed the bones into his ribs.

Here's something most people probably don't know. Freshly cut cherry wood has a rich, sweet smell.

Yesterday I took the dogs out for a little hike. Coming home, I saw that one of the roadside cherry trees had been culled and thrown by the road to return to the earth. Some of the wood still looked nice, so I chopped off a section to bring home. When I got home, I put it inside for the time being. This piece has an unusually strong smell. Now the whole house is full of that rich smell.

前幾天提到帶書在山中看。山中靜寂亙長，適合多想一些事。這就是為甚麼很多人帶收音機、CD、ipod到山裡：為了逃避自己。

大學時，有一年我過年到玉山，滿腦子是大學。(注：第一大學是學校，第二大學是書。)我趁過年去，因為算準山裡一定沒有人，大家回家團圓:民國六十幾年，登山風氣不盛。當時我跟平地人說要去爬山，一般無法了解這種觀念，閩南人尤其如此；年紀越大越不能接受登山這種想法。很多老人家還好心勸我不要到山上，因為他們活在日據時代的陰影下：他們告訴我，日據時代，土匪蠻橫，善良平民不敢出村門；心猶有餘悸，很多上了年紀的閩南人憂心忡忡地告訴我，如果不得已一定要在山上過夜，千萬記得捲成一圈，下巴貼胸，這樣土匪要割喉比較難。一方面他們明明知道國民政府來臺以後沒有土匪，另一方面，昔年留下的恐懼太深。他們對臺灣的山有敵意。在他們觀念中，爬山等于送死。他們看我背背包開心往山上走，總是婉惜的同時懷疑我頭腦有問題。大概吧。

後來讀臺灣歷史，比較了解。先來的外省人來臺，泉漳相仇廝殺，閩人不敢涉足客家村，漢人不肯入山，除非冬補獵「番」。留在家裡最安全。日本統治者鼓勵這種想法；百姓比較容易駕馭。可能是這個關係吧，我剛來臺灣的時候，原住民與後來外省人外，深山裡不太有人。好哇，留個清靜的山。

不出所料，除夕中午過後到達排雲山莊(即玉山頂峰下的招待所)，除了管理員以外，只有我一個人。管理員看到我來，非常高興，因為他本來以為要一個人過除夕夜；縱使高鼻子的外國人，也勝沒有人。為了慶祝過年+禦寒，他給我一碗很濃很濃的薑糖水。我很快就冒汗了。

管理員是河南人。他說他家鄉是平原沒有山，他來臺灣的時候很好奇看看臺灣的山是甚麼個模樣。他不怕冷，沒有家眷，派來排雲山莊很適合。過年過節很想家就是了。

我選過年爬山還有一個原因：雪。大年初一早上睡醒的時候，室內溫度零下五度。過癮。只有一個問題：鞋子。我腳大，到今天在臺灣買鞋子不容易買，何況三十年前。我在萬華的tsa la chi(我不會寫：小偷市場，在YMCA附近。據說是小偷脫手的地方)買了一雙軍鞋，充當登山鞋。鞋子的貨源只怕不是小偷，是騙子，因為好像是冒牌貨。還不到排雲山莊，一腳的鞋跟開始脫落。釘子刺到腳，我找了一片石頭塞進去，還可以，可是走久了要鏟雪。那個腳有點冷。

吃了一點熱糧，就出發了，往山頂走。已經幾天沒人走過，雪深，步道不好找。繼續下雪，風滿大，一步一步走，滿腦子都在想，欲治其國者，先齊其家，欲齊其家者先修其身，欲修其身者先正其心，欲正其心者，先誠其意；這句把我搞糊塗了；為甚麼正心要誠意？我卡在一個觀念，把誠當誠懇想，對待它人的信用；說文說，誠，信也。我突然想通了。這個誠字不是對別人，是觀照自心要誠，要洞察自己的起心動念，不可躲躲藏藏，不可給自己找臺階下，不可有藉口，要盡誠意探索赤裸裸的心。

這個想清楚了就通暢了，可是雪不停地下，風不斷地吹，越走鞋跟越開，另一隻鞋也開了口，一兩步就鞋裡雪很多。雪深過膝，不大好走，而且越高步道越難找。風很大。我決定了：目的是爬山，有沒有到頂無所謂，這種天沒有view，反正「誠」弄清楚了，其它，隨便。

回頭往排雲山莊，就想，中國字實在太好玩。「ㄣ」是「隱」本字；十目看，能隱嗎？不成，所以十目盯住ㄣ是「直」；直心是悳，但要付諸「行」動才算數，所以悳後來加了ㄔ成為「德」字。真妙。

回到了排雲山莊，管理員看到我，大笑說，「你看你這副德性。」原來我後腦漏出帽子外面的頭髮都結冰了。

「到了山頂嗎？」

「沒有，雪太深，風太大，到了上面那個風口我看不好過，就回頭了。」

「沒關係吧。」

「沒關係，踏到雪了，爬了山了，夠了。」我就準備下山…這又是一個故事，改天吧。可是直視本心為德，德又是甚麼？我到現在還不清楚。我看，我必須到山上走走，也許會想通。沒想通也好，有山就好。

Not only had her family not brought Agniya up to believe in God, but in the past when one had been obliged to go to church her mother and grandmother did not go, did not observe the fasts, did not take Communion, snubbed the priests, and always ridiculed religion because it had accepted serfdom so easily. Her grandmother, mother, and aunt had their own creed: always be on the side of those who were oppressed, arrested, pursued, and persecuted by the authorities. Her grandmother had evidently been known by all the "People's Will" revolutionaries because she gave them refuge in her home and helped them in whatever way she could. Her daughters took after her and hid fugitive Social Revolutionaries and Social Democrats. And little Agniya was always on the side of the rabbit that was being hunted, of the horse that was being whipped. As she grew up, this came to mean, to the surprise of her elders, that she was for the church because it was being persecuted.

Whether she came thereby to believe in god or forced herself to believe, in any case she insisted that it would now be ignoble to avoid church, and to her mother's and her grandmother's horror she began to attend services and little by little came to care about them.
--- The First Circle, Chapter 23, The Church of St John the Baptist

美國民主黨的標誌是驢，共和黨是大象。臺灣的黨沒有這種代號。

如果有的話，用甚麼呢？

國民黨可以用藍鵲。很漂亮，可是飛不太起來，因為尾巴重。漂亮歸漂亮，叫聲不好聽。

民進黨，非青蛙莫屬。叫聲非常響喨，這是我的地盤你滾開你滾開！不然就是坐在井底說天星都聽他的。

至于李登輝的臺聯，這就不能用動物代表：咖啡色黨最適合的是木乃伊。曾經是國王，可是時代已經過去很久很久了。

The other day I finished rereading The First Circle ~~do I have to annotate that it was written by Solzhenitsyn? And that Hamlet was written by Shakespeare?

I suppose I read The First Circle twice by the time I was 25, and at least twice since, but it's been years since the last time I read it. What surprised me reading it this time was howmuch I learned from Solzhenitsyn.

In his best work, Solzhenitsyn doesn't tell you: this is what to believe. Especially in The First Circle, his characters argue many standpoints, and each life portrays its own standpoint. The reader weighs everything.

I have been very lucky. I remember when Solzhenitsyn was first being translated into English; I devoured all his early works as soon as they were available, although I sort of bogged down by 1919 and The Gulag Archipelago.

My major in college was Chinese Lit (師大國文). Our teachers did not bother with trying to attract students with appealing course lists: almost everything was required. Take this, it's good for you. But we learned from the giants of China, in philosophy, in literature, in etymology and phonology, in calligraphy, and in history. Even if we never became giants, we stood on their shoulders and looked at life and at the universe.

Our teachers told us, We do not read literature or philosophy from the Ming or Ching periods (in other words, anything written after about the 14th century) because it is still too new. It hasn't passed the test of time. You can read it yourselves, you don't need guidance, you can handle the material by yourselves. But in class, our courses concern those works which have stood up to the scrutiny of many generations, and which you may have difficulty studying unassisted.

I suppose if I had taken a less rigorous major, I could have earned credits in Movie Criticism or Studies in Contemporary Advertising Strategies, and I would not have had such a workout.