What I want to know is, since when did America become such a nation of whiners?
Ok, so a levee broke and New Orleans got wet. What did you expect? They cut the budget for levee maintenance because of all the expenses the troops are racking up in Iraq. The money has to come from somewhere. It's not like the government is rolling in the stuff, especially since they hatcheted taxes for the richest ten per cent of our citizens. But surely those rich people earned a little consideration, didn't they? You don't see those people lolling around on rooftops waiting for a helicopter to come rescue them at government expense, no sirree, so that should count for something.
And let's face it, who lives in New Orleans? The city is two thirds black. See? They're not
all in jail (yet), and some of them still have the right to vote. Problem is, everybody
knows how African Americans vote. What do you expect a Republican president from Texas to do for them?
Who does Jesse Jackson think he is, saying "We deserve better leadership"? We've got the best president money can buy. He did interrupt his five week vacation, after all, some time after the corpses of American citizens rotting on the streets started to reek. He even put down that guitar he was strumming while the Gulf Coast was drowning (let's not hear a word about Nero). You should just be happy Our Exalted Leader didn't show up in his flight suit, the one with the cod piece. Although he was on vacation, he was under severe stress due to having That Woman trying to see him. Her son died in Iraq. Does that make him a hero or something? If he had been anybody, he would have sat out the war in the Texas National Guard, or someplace safe. Surely you can't expect the President to talk to everybody whose kid got killed in Iraq. How much time would that leave him for golf?
All this griping that people weren' evacuated. The prisoners got evacuated, shackles and all. And those were mostly black people, so let's not have any more of this unpatriotic talk about racism. Maybe we can fly some choppers back from Iraq to pick people off rooftops. They've been up there fix, six days now, they should be getting comfortable, just hold on a while longer. No more whining. Look at the corpses floating past, and think how lucky you are to have a nice rooftop to hunker down on.
Our Illustrious Leader George W Bush said, "I don't think anybody anticipated the breach of the levees." For years experts have been predicting exactly what happened – they must be real unpatriotic sickos who hate America. Those are the kind of weirdos who want The Glorious Commander in Chief to sign the Kyoto Protocol and Land Mine Treaty, and don't want drilling for oil in nature preserves. Like those traitors who squawked when Our Gracious Leader said it's okay to pollute those salmon streams. It's only fish, for crying out loud. Big deal. Who's the President listen to, a bunch of pointy heads who probably voted for Kerry, or his business buddies who donated a bunch of money (and beer) (no pretzels, thanks) to his campaigns?
The liberal press is wetting its pants because people in New Orleans are shooting at rescue planes. So what? That's what people in New Orleans
do, that's what gives the city the flavor Our Incomparable Leader George W Bush so fondly recalled when he stood amidst the devastation and reminisced about coming to New Orleans years ago and enjoying himself "occasionally too much" (such a sensitive man!). Tell me what day of the year there is no gunfire in New Orleans. They've got all these choppers flying around for targets; no red-blooded American could resist exercising our god-given right to bear arms and indulge in a little target practice. Tell me what's wrong with a little gunfire. Ask the NRA what's wrong with a little gunfire. Charlton Heston loves guns, and he's a man who played Moses! Keep that in mind!
And I don't want to hear any more of this nonsense that the government isn't doing its best. They are sending in the best in the world. The National Guard being deployed in New Orleans is just back from Iraq. Just listen to what Louisiana governor Kathleen Blanco said: "These troops are battle-tested. They have M-16s and are locked and loaded. These troops know how to shoot and kill and I expect they will." How's that for gutsy? She's cheering for soldiers to shoot the people who voted her into office. I bet Osama bin Forgotten is quaking in his turban!
Of course they had better be careful about who they shoot, because some of the local good guys have, mmmm, have gotten into the spirit of things. Police Chief Eddie Compass admitted even his own officers take food and water from stores. But as Kanye West said, you have to understand the difference. If they're white, they're hungry so they're trying to find something to eat. If they're black, they're looting: ready, aim, fire!
Don't you worry about a thing, no bellyaching, no whimpering, and NO aspersions on the character of Our Gracious Sovereign, His Majesty George W Bush, because he is not at fault! He said, "The response is not acceptable," clearly indicating that this is not his responsibility. The buck stops somewhere else nowadays, Harry.
But really, we shouldn't spend any more tax money on New Orleans. We've got dozens of cities, one more, one less, big difference. That money should be spent to good purpose, meaning the war in Iraq. Nobody told those people to live in New Orleans, so they should take responsibility for their decisions, like patriotic Americans. The administration really ought to privatize the rescue and rebuilding. I bet Vice President Cheney could find us a good deal on that.
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Here is a photo of Our Noble Leader George Nero Bush strumming on a guitar in San Diego on August 30.
http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/050830/480/capm10208301856
You can almost hear him singing:
There was a place in New Orleans
It's now a sunken swamp
It's been the ruin of many poor blacks,
Not me, thank god, I'm rich.