Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce the invention of the long-awaited

BAMBUBA /竹巴

or, the bamboo tuba/竹製土巴/低音號

My giant bamboo was knocked over in the last typhoon, so I have used this chance to make a Bambuba, complete with bamboo mouthpiece. The bamboo is fresh cut and not entirely dry, so it now weighs about 15kg, so don’t ask me to join your marching band just yet. I am still considering whether or not to carve in tone holes. If I do, obviously the instrument will be tuned to the key of B, for Bambuba.

I am patiently awaiting news from Sweden, from the Nobel Prize Committee, to see if they will award me the Nobel Prize for Music and Magnanimous Contribution to Humanity this year, or if it’s too late this year, then next.

In the meantime, I am busy transcribing the score of Bach’s Unaccompanied Cello for the Unaccompaniable Bambuba. Wait for the world premier!