Much talk has been devoted recently to the building of a fence along the border between the US and Mexico, to keep out illegal immigrants.

I think this is a lousy idea, simply because I do not think it is fair that the little guy should always be the one to suffer. People say there are so many illegal aliens that something has to be done. Ok, fine. Enact laws: for every day's work done by an illegal alien, the person in the firm making the most money has to serve two days in jail with drug dealers and gangsters, wearing an orange jump suit; if that person can prove that he is a proxy for someone making even more money, he is free and that person puts on the orange jump suit. So say a company has ten illegal aliens working on Tuesday: the CEO serves twenty days in jail.

How many job opportunities would exist to lure these poor people north?

Of course Dubya would never permit such a law to pass, but you have to admit, that would solve the problem overnight, and the little guy would, eventually, wind up with a better deal than he's got now.

Illegal aliens enter the US for jobs, and because they are illegal, they are exploited. If the aliens were not there, the jobs would still exist, so the employers would have to either raise pay for local labor, or find legal ways to hire aliens; such ways would be subject to legal scrutiny, and no matter how cynically you deem legal scrutiny, it is better than none at all.

So let's not waste money on a border fence. Let's see some of those CEOs in orange jumpsuits!

民國六十幾年有一次在南投爬山，發現水壺空了，在廬山看到幾個泰雅夫人，問她們要水。一位年約四十五歲的太太拿水給我，問我從哪裡來的。
美國。
美國很遠喔，我四年前看過電影，電影好像在美國，好奇怪他們的頭髮。
她說她都在山裏，一兩年到霧社，可是比較喜歡在山裏。
我問她到過大都市嗎？
很肯定地點頭說，有！有！我結婚的時候，我的男人帶我去埔里！那裡好大，人好多，我不習慣，所以沒有再去過。人太多。她一直搖頭。

案：民國四十年，埔里人口大概不到兩萬。

Some Jews and Christians say it is perfectly all right to kill animals to eat because only human beings have souls, so since animals don't have souls, their suffering and death are of no account. One recent pope proclaimed that when you kick a dog, its yelp signifies no more than the shriek of a machine; don't forget, popes are infallible, so he can't be wrong. Oh sure.

When Jehovah so loved the world that he decided to drown everybody, he found that of all these jerks he created in his own image, only Noah was a just man, righteous and blameless, so he decided not to drown Noah. Wasn't that nice of him? Ok, so Noah lives. Then what? Jehovah told Noah to build an ark and rescue all of the animals. Just the animals, not the plants or the minerals. Not even mushrooms.

If animals had no souls, why bother? The ark teaches that Jehovah thought animals were as worth saving as Noah, and more worth saving than the rest of humanity, so they must not only have souls, but righteous, blameless souls that are just, and more worth saving that 99% of humanity.

So go ahead and enjoy your steak. Surely you are more saintly than Noah.

contempt of court
當總統夫人真不容易，還要會演戲。

乾脆以後法院裡裝電子琴，增加戲劇效果。

從前聽過這麼一個故事：
清代道光年左右，一位居士誦金剛經：是不是林則徐？可能是，記不得了。有鬼魂求他再誦一部，回向給祂，讓祂好轉世。居士當然應允了，馬上誦。僕人看主人連續誦經，怕他口渴，奉了一盞茶；居士不喝，說：撤茶。

誦完，鬼魂哀，說，多出了經文沒有的「撤茶」兩個字，功德沒有了，還是不得超脫。居士駭然，謹慎重誦一部，功德才圓滿。

=====
金剛經流傳很廣，所以版本多。民國初年，江味農居士有鑑于此，蒐集各種版本，核敦煌唐鈔本校勘，因此江校應不失鳩摩羅什之舊。

換言之，清代道光年所誦，必然有誤，豈止「撤茶」二字與佛說不合？其它字句有舛訛，為何只「撤茶」才破功德？

更何況，世尊不說華語，字相那麼重要嗎？功德與否，在心不在字。

或以居士分心，心中有茶而失功德。

=====
金剛經說福德不應貪著，鬼欲受福德，是無福德，但凡夫之人貪著其事。

若能不貪著福德，不誦經亦超渡。

若能不貪著福德，不止超渡，應超出輪迴。

======
凡所有相，皆是虛妄；實則無鬼無居士無功德無輪迴，但凡夫之人貪著其事。

究竟是凡夫。凡所有相，皆是虛妄；實則無我無吃無衣無住無行，但凡夫之人貪著其事。既然貪著，藉假修真。畢竟，肚子還是要吃飽。

=====
若心中有茶而失功德，我學佛功德與梁武帝建寺功德相若：毫無功德。

|||||
喫茶去了。

大約民國七十年左右，我有一次坐計程車，司機是退役軍人。我坐前座，跟他聊。

他笑嘻嘻地說，「我上禮拜有一天晚上深夜載到三個年輕人，說要到觀音山。三個都像太保，一聽就知道他們打算等我車開到沒有人的地方搶劫。我心知肚明，不講話，就把車往觀音山開。他們叫我開到一條小路，黑黑的，前不著村後不著店，我知道他們要下手了，我就~─」他手上突然出現了一把螺絲起子，根本沒看到從哪裡掏出來的「─~拿這個起子頂住前座的那個人脖子上的動脈，說『我在家鄉十三歲開始殺日本兵，你以為我怕你們嗎？』我叫後座兩個人下車，他們猶豫了一下，我起子開始用力推，前座的那個叫他們趕快下車，不然我就把他殺了。他們下車走到車子前面十公尺，我叫他們停住，不可以動。前座的問我，『先生，我可以下車嗎？』我說，『不行，你車錢還沒給我。』我拿了來回車錢，就用力推他下車，馬上溜了，讓他們慢慢走路回臺北。」

is it my eyes or my mind?
just now on Word, I was surprised to see that I had a font called Anal. Oh, Arial….

On Thanksgiving, President Bush phoned members of the Armed Forces serving in Iraq. That strikes me as unbelievably callous. I can't imagine how the conversations went.

"Hi, this is your President, you know, the guy who started this war you are stuck in. I really messed up the whole situation there, and you're the ones who clean it up. Isn't that a riot? Bet you didn't know you'd end up fighting in somebody else's civil war when you signed up for the national guard, did you? That'll teach you to be more careful about signing contracts.

"Yeah, yeah, I know there was no good reason to attack Iraq, but don't forget how they treated my daddy. He won his war and that jerk Saddam kept on being president. I couldn't let that go on. And anyway, what's the fun of being president if you can't have a war? My daddy had a war, so I should get one too. Mine is bigger than his, too! And it's going to last longer than all the other American wars put together! And besides, look at all the oil. Not to mention all those lush, rich contracts my buddies are winning. Boy, they're really raking it in, hand over fist. Say, I hear you guys have to spend a bundle of your own money for better equipment than the stuff our contractors hand out. I guess your pay doesn't go very far, does it? You ought to have a rich daddy, like me.

"So today is Thanksgiving and we're chewing on the bird here with friends and family. Yeah, too bad you aren't home. You're over there getting shot at. Tough luck. Hey, if you were on the ball, you wouldn't even be in the war zone. Look how my daddy kept me safe from the fighting in Viet Nam, and I even had a great time learning how to fly, on the taxpayers' dime, when some idiots were fighting and dying in those jungles. Either they had some weird ideas about patriotism or their daddies weren't rich enough.

"But don't let it get you down, you know, we compensate your families pretty well when you get killed, and who knows, you may even survive. They're doing wonders with prosthetics now. Well, they should, look at all the practice we're giving them. But if you do buy the farm, first tell your mother not to get on my case, all right? Ugh, that lady last year, and when I was on vacation, too! How inconsiderate can you get? If everybody followed me around just because her kid got killed in my war, I'd have thousands of them after me. Some people are really insensitive, aren't they?

"Well, it's been nice talking to you and all that, but it's time for the next course, so I'm going to run now, and leave you to the insurgency. Have a good one!"

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.
H L Mencken

一種很久沒見的器皿：藥壺。從前每一家有此器，高形，有嘴、柄、蓋，低溫鬆陶，很容易一碰璺到底。用來熬中藥。搬家時要摔破，不帶到新居，表示疾病不帶入新宅。

在新店遇到幾個部落的小朋友。一個烏來國中男生看到我，說，嗷, Yugan!旁邊一個烏來國小女生看了，想了一下，說，嗷，我知道，你就是那個狗的那個。

That's me, 就是那個狗!

What one person takes for granted may astonish another.

The other day, an acquaintance casually mentioned the tv program she had watched while she ate breakfast.

"What? You watched television at breakfast?" The idea that someone would watch television before she left for school astonished me.

Further discussion. I explained that I have never lived in a house with a television. That astonished her.

42% of Americans eat dinner in front of the television every day! Isn't that astonishing?

歌，甲
Chang and I went to fetch Yulaw home, as he was too drunk to return unassisted. Yulaw is one of Wulai's best singers. Perhaps in honor of my support, when we had stuffed him into the backseat, he launched into Feelings. He began in English, Feelings, nothing more than feelings, teadroz rolling don on my fez ~~ he fizzled out and fudged a few lines: feelings lie aaa nedda goz you bay n feelings lie aaa medda gabyagininma haaaaaat. He muddled along in like fashion for a few more lines, and suddenly burst out with qnag nnaq txaina xi 冰箱, which is Tayal for "eat as much as you like and put the leftovers in the refrigerator." I was awestruck. It fit the meter perfectly, and flowed very naturally into the song. Of course, it didn't do a lot for the sentiment of lost feelings, but when he pulled out that soulful 冰箱~~~~~ (a borrowing from Mandarin, as there is no word in Tayal for refrigerator), I knew I was listening to a master.

歌，乙
Sinkang的bus右側燈壞了，所以跑了最後一趟把車子送保養廠，不載客，車上只有一個乘客， Yugan是也。車上兄弟兩個，無外人，他就唱歌。歌聲很好，可是唱的是一般流行歌。我聽了一陣，終于不耐煩說，Sinkang, iyat pongan mkwas mukan, 不想聽這種，唱泰雅歌吧。他誤會了，同一首歌用泰雅語重唱，邊唱邊編歌詞。我說，Sinkang，唱泰雅歌，泰雅歌茁壯，不要唱平地人的歌；平地人的歌娘娘腔，沒有氣勢，在山上唱這個幹啥？Sinkang不解，我索性放聲唱了Stenka Razin的第一段(Stenka Razin是俄羅斯Cossack族民間英雄，十七世紀起義造反)。Sinkang聽了就開竅了，說，Yugan，這首歌很雄偉、很威武。我說，沒錯，所以Sinkang以後不要再唱那種平地人的娘娘歌，不適合男人唱。保養廠已經到了，我下車說，Sinkang，我以後再教你唱，歌詞隨便你編。

Quleh's mournful eyes were full of nostalgia.

"Yugan, did you know I can speak Spanish? Yugan, in Spanish, Mister is Senor, Mrs is Senora, a senorita is a young lady, and you can say chica, and in Spanish to say Thank you, you say…. you say… you say something else.

"Yugan, not many Aborigines can speak Spanish, but I can speak Spanish because I worked on a fishing boat, and we fished in the Atlantic. We sold our fish to Japan for sashimi. The Japanese say Taiwan's fishermen are seigai ichiban! That means, the best in the world.

"Our fishing boat went to Uruguay. The people in Uruguay speak Spanish. They are very friendly, they are nice people, Yugan. I met a pretty girl, she was very pretty, her hair was like this and her figure was like this, and she said 'I love you.’

"She gave me her address, so the next day I went to her house to visit her. I wanted to take her a gift, Yugan, so I went to the captain and said, 'Captain, a senorita said to me, "I love you." Today I am going to her house and I want to take her a gift. Captain, may I take her a fish?' Captain said, 'Yes, Quleh, you may take her a fish. Choose a fish, and I will charge you for labor only, and take it out of your wages.’

"So I went to the freezer, Yugan, and found the best fish in the freezer for her. Yugan, Taiwan fishermen are very good, the Japanese say Taiwan fishermen are the best in the world, so the freezer was full of good fish. I chose the best one for her. It was a sailfish and weighed about 300 pounds.

"So I took the sailfish and got a taxi. The sailfish was very big, Yugan, it was this big, and it was very heavy, but there were a couple other Tayal tribesmen on the boat and they helped me put the sailfish in the taxi.

"First we had to go through Customs. The man in Customs said, 'Where are you taking this big fish?' I said, 'A senorita said, "I love you," so I am taking this fish to her for a gift.' The Customs man said, 'You have to pay duty on this fish.' I took a ten dollar bill, ten dollars US, and put it in his pocket. He smiled at me and said, 'Have a good time with your senorita.’

"The taxi took me to the senorita's home, but Yugan, it was a big sailfish, it weighed about three hundred pounds, so I could not get it out of the taxi by myself. The senorita came and with her father and her mother and her brothers and sisters, we pulled the sailfish out of the taxi and took it into her house.

"Then her father and mother started sawing the sailfish, because it was very big. But it was frozen solid, Yugan, so it was very difficult to saw. Her brothers and sisters held the fish and her father and mother sawed it with a saw, but the sailfish was frozen as hard as a brick, so it was very hard to saw.

"Her father and her mother were very happy. They told me, 'Don't go back to Taiwan, stay in Uruguay.' I said, 'I have to go back to Taiwan.' Yugan, I had not done my military service yet, so I had to come back.

"Two days later our boat went to sea again. Then we went to Capetown and to India and then we came back to Taiwan. When I came back I was drafted into the army, and after I got out of the army, I never went to sea again, so I never went back to Uruguay to see my senorita.”

Quleh heaved a sigh and thought for a moment, his eyes far away. "I wonder how they cooked the sailfish.”

I excused myself and left. The image of the ardent Tayal swain taking a frozen 300 pound sailfish to present to his lady love was too much for me. I wanted to tell him, "Quleh, you could have taken her a red, red rose.”

現在很多父母說，要孩子獨立。其實，我覺得他們的意思是，我不要你煩我的時候我就要你獨立，可是你還是要聽我的話：我的意見永遠是你的聖旨。

天主徒很喜歡看天主釘在十字架上痛苦的樣子：甚麼心態，我不了解。不然就是祂老人家開膛示心。天主受苦，教徒叫作passion、the passion of Christ。

「百香果」是譯音：譯的很漂亮。名字本來是菲律賓的教徒取的，因為他們認為百香果剖開，很像耶穌的那棵心，所以叫passion fruit>>>百香果。

從前百香果很難買，因為沒有人種，只有野生種。說也奇怪，有百香果在，蛇就喜歡來。所以以前只有原住民敢採，只有原住民賣，只有一個季節。我第一次看到百香果，三十幾年前在羅東菜市場外面，一位ptasan rqyas na weya Tayal(紋面泰雅長老)腳邊放一紙箱，裡頭的果都很小，可是很快賣完了。當時一般臺北人不知道有這個水果，臺北買不到；沒有國語名字，宜蘭閩南語叫「番仔木瓜」。

現在很多人種。去年龜山雙溪口一個太太菜園邊種兩個，長了五六顆果實。她一個鄰居問，百香果妳敢種嗎？蛇很多。第二天太太到菜園，想起鄰居的話，抬頭一看，百香果上面就有一條兩尺長的青竹絲。她二話不說，刀子拿出來把兩個百香果從根部割掉，然後馬上跑回家，好幾天不敢到菜園。

In a review of Blood Money in the LA Times Book Review, Boston U Professor Andrew J Bacevich said, "Could it be that the so-called global war on terror is in actuality little more than a scheme to bilk the taxpayer and loot the resources of those we claim to liberate?"

As of October 31 of this year, 2,818 American soldiers had died in combat in Iraq. Before long, Bush will have killed more Americans than bin Laden.

The war costs US$250 million a day. Every day. Six or seven months of fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan are equal to 35 years of cancer funding. So if you figure in the Americans who die from cancer because of retarded research, he has killed a lot more than bin Laden.

Hail to the Chief.

有人提倡在臺北辦奧運。我真希望政治人物務實，不要只顧造勢愚民抓權。我們需要的是冷靜深思，為國民長久利益著想，而不是一味譁眾取寵。

假設臺北可以爭取到辦奧運的機會(學英文的人請注意：這句是與事實相反的假設語氣)，該不該爭取？

我極力反對。為甚麼？因為每次辦奧運，不論在哪一國，吃虧的是中下階層的人，受益的是大官與財團；自然環境一定是大輸家。

道理很簡單。臺灣有沒有舉辦奧運的設備？沒有，對不對？需要興建，對不對？要建體育場，需要地。地有兩種：有人與沒有人的地。如果選擇有人的地蓋，他們會選甚麼樣的地段？會拆富貴人家的豪宅？或者把一些好欺負的弱勢團體趕走？(想想新莊捷運，呂副總統叫痲瘋病患滾蛋的情形，就知道答案。)

如果選擇沒有人的地蓋，美麗的山河林海又要遭殃。為甚麼口口聲聲喊愛臺灣的人卻那麼樂于給寶島開膛破肚？要是我，我不忍心。

臺灣沒有舉辦奧運的設備，所以需要興建。興建的工程龐大，一般民間中小企業一定不勝任，只有大財團可以投標，勢必用泰勞降低成本。這樣對中下階層、黑手、小本生意、弱勢團體有多少好處呢？

臺灣還是有很多人需要照顧。我不肯花下巨大的公帑來滿足幾個政客的野心與虛榮心、把巨富餵得更肥。我寧可為臺灣作有益的事。

Lately there has been some hoopla about hosting the Olympics in Taipei in 2020. Yeah, you probably wonder what they've been smoking, too.

Just for the sake of discussion, let's ignore the practical impossibility of Chinese Taipei's hosting the games.

Hasn't anybody noticed the climate in Taipei? If they really had the Olympics here, in any events that weren't rained out, the athletes who weren't flattened by the humidity would suffer heat stroke long before they finished their events. Summer is typhoon season, and during typhoon season, a typhoon every week is not unusual. How are you going to carry on extended athletic events in this kind of climate?

Never mind that, I am dead set against having the Olympics here, for two main reasons. First, are there no pressing problems in Taiwan that should take priority over ultra-expensive athletic events? Second, who benefits and who suffers? I guarantee the middle and lower classes will only suffer, and not benefit in any way. Simply put, we don't have the stadiums for Olympic events, so they have to be built. Where would they build them? Do you think they would tear down rich people's expensive houses to make space for the stadiums?

Either that, or they will destroy more of Taiwan's natural beauty to replace with ugly stadiums. I always marvel at the eagerness of people who shout "Love Taiwan" to destroy this beautiful island.

Putting up large stadiums would be a huge undertaking, far beyond the reach of the small and medium businesses. The firms that won contracts would be Big Business; in other words, consolidating more riches among a few mega-companies. In order to keep down costs and win the bidding, the big companies would hire Thai and Filipino labor to build the stadiums. Please tell me how this benefits the little guy. (Of course, the DPP administration has never shown great willingness to do much for the little guy.)

The Olympics have generally been held to the detriment of the little guy, in any country. I fail to understand why we should spend great gobs of public money to satisfy the vanity and ambition of political hacks, and to feed the greed of the fat cats.

前幾天在橋頭等車到臺北，水映雲，一圈一圈漣漪不斷：溪魚成群覓食。烏來住了十年，首一次看到的。封溪果然有用。