其一

從山上開車，偶見蚱蜢、蟋蟀、知了一同乘車下山。或立擋風玻璃上、或于門上，任風吹、隨車晃，如列禦寇履虛乘風。

那天起程，見一蟋蟀在引擎蓋上，又一蟋蟀很自扗于擋風玻璃散步。車疾行、轉彎，二蟋蟀自如。到新店十五公里，停車，蟋蟀遁入車下。晚上歸山，才發車，見二蟋蟀于引擎蓋、擋風玻璃，回家又十五公里，二蟋蟀乃下車，躍入草叢。

其二

撒毖已用十年的筆記型電腦，命終嗚呼，因而買了一臺新電腦；螢幕是觸控式的，不必按鍵、用滑鼠。
方便是很方便，但是山上蟲多。撒毖常用電腦時，突然蹦出不相干的程式、方塊。再看，原來！小飛蟲光臨，踩著觸控式螢幕，電腦馬上反應。

one

Sometimes when we drive down to the city, we find a grasshopper, cricket, or katydid coming along for the ride. They may stand on the windshield, the hood, or the doors, and no matter how fast the car takes turns, no matter how the wind blows, they stand their ground. Or windshield.

Tuesday as soon as we started out we noticed a cricket on the hood, and another strolling about the windshield. Fifteen kilometers later, when we parked at the subway terminal, they jumped down below the car. That evening, when Sabiy turned on the ignition, we saw that the crickets had resumed their posts. They were still there when we parked at home. Then they jumped into the underbrush and disappeared.

two

Sabiy's laptop finally died, after a long, productive life. We got her a nice new all-in-one computer with a touch control screen. Nifty. You don't have to key or use the mouse, just touch the screen.

It's convenient, but we do live in a jungle. Sometimes Sabiy will be using her computer when suddenly a totally unrelated program or box appears. A second look shows some bug sauntering across the screen, setting off the touch control screen at every step.

 

#2300!

Look, you'e not going to believe this if I don't prove it, so read the link below. A man was confined to a wheelchair because he lost a leg and an arm when he got hit by a train. He lived in a special home and had a history of mental illness; whether or not as a result of the trauma of losing his limbs, I don't know, but he "would sometimes go off a bit, but you just ignore it," the owner of the home said.

For some reason, he went off a bit more than usual, the police came, and the man in the wheelchair used his only arm to wave a pen at the police. So what happens next? The police shot him to death.

I told you you wouldn't believe me. Read the link.

But you'll believe me when I tell you: this happened in Houston, Texas. Oh. That explains it. Two policemen were incapable of rushing the wheelchair, tasering him, spraying him with pepper spray, turning over the wheelchair, or any one of a number of possibilities. They had no choice but to kill him. Texas, after all.

I'm not making this up, although I wish I were:: LINK:::

Can you imagine what would happen to a regular citizen if he told the police he shot and killed a man in a wheelchair who threatened him with a pen?

太好了，美麗灣不可以繼續破壞環境。下一步就是把這個醜陋、不仁不義的建築拆除。
click

千鈞一髮！小山羊掉進水池，腳被下面石頭挾住了，緊急關頭，是哪一位英雄來救呢？

click here:::

If you can eat pork after watching this, the next step for you is eating babies.

資治通鍵、晉惠帝永寧元年：「孫惠儉而不陋、清而不介、望之頹然而不可侵也。」
(孫惠這個人很儉樸但不至于簡陋，清高但不至于跟人太有距離、看起來一幅弱不禁風的樣子但其實誰也不能冒犯他。)
做人若能如斯，亦可無大過。

Arrgh, matey, it’s Talk Like A Pirate day!

www.talklikeapirate.com

Some speculation on the recent games in the Pacific
一、 眾所周知，一九七二年的上海通報，美國政府已經宣佈管臺灣是中國的事。
二、 亦眾所周知，美軍的長期策劃中心，十年前就認定左營必然將成為中國人民海軍的軍港。
三、 美國欠北京的債是天文數字；只要北京要美國付債務的利息，美國經濟立即四腳朝天。
四、 日本經濟靠北京。
五、 兩週前，美國宣佈，北京在太平洋擴展勢力的事，美國只會配合，不會干涉。
六、 不到兩週後，釣魚台事情又開始鬧大；這不可能是巧合。
七、 日本與北京爭釣魚台，臺灣無法插手：很簡單，實力不足。
八、 李登輝已說釣魚台是日本領土，這很可能是北京安排的伏筆，作用扗于牽制臺灣極右派的臺獨。
九、 日本很可能也是配合北京、演戲給大家看，先搖旗吶喊，再來談判，最後釣魚台一定歸中國。
十、 北韓好不容易開始改革，但年輕領袖未十分穩，也要看北京臉色。尤其最近整頓軍方，金正恩必須安頓軍心。
十一、 韓國人最討厭日本。要讓南、北韓統一，最快的方法是一起對抗日本。
十二、 倘若日本對釣魚台投入太多軍力，韓國成為日本後顧之憂。
十三、 釣魚台對日本不重要，但北京佔釣魚台，就是敞開了臺灣的門。
十四、 或許整件事，北京志扗臺灣，不扗釣魚台。
十五、 臺灣志扗內鬥，不管外面的事。

It is no secret that in 1972, the US government announced it would stand off from Taiwan, and that a the beginning of the 21st century, American military long term strategists were taking it for granted that Taiwan ports would be serving the Chinese People's Navy.

The US has not had a lot of choice in this matter, as the US debt to the PRC is staggering; if they were to call in the interest on the debt, the US economy would immediately turn belly up.

Japan's largest trading partner is the PRC.

Two weeks ago, the US announced that it would work closely with Beijing as they expanded their influence in the Pacific. In less than two weeks, friction arose over the disputed Diaoyutai Islands between Taiwan and Okinawa. This cannot be a coincidence.

Taiwan has laid claim to the islands, but does not have any power to back up the claims. Former President Lee Tenghui's astounding declaration that the islands are actually Japanese territory may have been set up by Beijing, to counter Taiwan's extreme right, the Taiwan Independence people.

I suspect that Japan is also playing a role here, yelling and shaking their scabbards as a prelude to negotiations that confirm the islands as Chinese territory.

North Korea has finally undertaken reforms, but Kim Jong-Un is still not firmly in control, especially since he purged the military. He has to take PRC support into consideration.

Both Koreas, North and South, hate Japan, so the quickest way to unify Korea would be to have one or both face off Japan. If Japan got too serious about military operations in Diaoyutai, they would have to worry about Korea on their other front.

Actually, Diaoyutai is not very important to Japan, not nearly as important as the economic might of PRC. But if Beijing can move freely around the islands, the door to Taiwan is wide open.

So maybe the whole affair is directed at Taiwan.

Meanwhile, Taiwan is too busy in-fighting to pay attention to what's going on in the world outside.

蚊子坑
從前，東北海岸有個地方叫做「蚊子坑」。不太吸引人吧。或者說，太不吸引人吧！因為其實很漂亮，小小一處沙灘，旁邊有岩石。也沒關係，因為當年從宜蘭北上的路，盡頭就在和美，才兩三百公尺之外，路也沒鋪柏油，所以沒有遊客，除了我。我從金瓜石走路去。
後來，濱海公路開了，他們大概想到，應該沒有很多客想扗「蚊子坑」渡假，所以改名「金沙灣」。是比較好聽。
又一則

我大學時常到鼻頭角、福隆一帶去浮潛。從金瓜石到和美只有一條步道，不通車，連摩托車也無法通行；從和美到福隆的路只有一個車道，因為很少有車。剛好我畢業時就開始建濱海公路。我認識這個工程的一位工程師，他說，心裏很矛盾，因為他看地方太純樸，不忍心打開他們的世界。那時沿岸的村子都很小，兩三戶一撮，六七家一處。每村到傍晚，吃完晚餐，小孩子、年輕人集中在村子的南端，大人在北端，各自聊聊天；若有車，一定從福隆方向(南邊)來，所以如果小伙子看到車要來，就會派人跑到大人的那一頭，報告消息，然後全村來等待、看看是甚麼人把汽車開到他們家園。可是一個星期難得看到一台車。

工程師說，公路開了，他們看到汽車會那麼興奮嗎？傍晚還會聚在一起聊天嗎？

果然，兩個答案都是否定的。

I trust you remember that September 16 is the important day of commemoration, National Cinnamon Raisin Bread Day, just a prelude to the even more vital event we eagerly look forward too each year, September 19, Talk Like A Pirate Day.

"Not only does junk food make you fat, but it could cause dementia." A new study warns of the dangers of eating junk food, including people as young as fifty having serious brain damage. While I wonder which is the cause and which is the effect, the article is worth reading: here::

The article also says that "teenagers who eat a diet that's high in fat and calories already show 'accelerated cognitive decline.' The researchers blame rising rates of dementia on our increasingly unhealthy eating habits and couch potato lifestyle."

最近捷運裏的電視劇廣告：

沒有破壞不了的感情
只有不夠努力的小三
諺語雖俗，但有理：家和萬事應興。臺灣的離婚率還不夠高嗎？不需要在公眾場所提倡這種邪見。
這樣給社會大眾，尤其小孩，非常不好的教育。

那天一位父親帶兒子到補習班來報名，繳費時父親要求打折扣，已經打了八折，還嫌不夠，要打六折。父親無恥無理，但櫃員態度和善，卻不得打六折。父親很惡霸的語氣說，「叫妳的主管出來。」組長出來，說已經打了八折，不能再打折。父親囔著，「叫你們總經理出來！」 補習班打八折，已經打了折，憑甚麼要總經理出來？就是憑他的霸氣惡口嗎？或者憑他拿了幾張鈔票出來，他就有權當老大嗎？
他兒子看扗眼裏。這種教育很恐怖。這個兒子將來做人，一定自我重心、霸道、不講理。

最近香港有人抗議教育，所以臺灣就有人不加思索，別人有的我們一定要有，所以出來抗議國民教育。
當然，他們這樣抗議，多少也證明國民教育沒有教人辨別是非、民主概念、道德、獨立思攷、品德。
但請問，為甚麼矛頭對著學校教育？應該先討論家庭教育、電視教育、廣告教育、流行盲從的弊病。

一直覺得很奇怪：劉備欲帝天下，卻名子為禪讓之禪，實在奇怪，不知他老人家在想甚麼。
按：扶不起的阿斗，名劉禪。就是向曹魏投降、禪讓失蜀漢、樂不思蜀的那一位。

我正式宣佈放棄學鼻笛的夢。去年，旮亙阿美樂團北上表演，少多宜團長說西方人的鼻子吹不了鼻笛，因為鼻孔位置的關係。我當然不服氣，表演完就很不客氣地借了鼻笛，很用心吹…果然吹不出音來。

團長慈悲，他說幫我訂造適于高鼻的鼻笛。等待已久，他今天終于帶了鼻笛來，結果我吹得出聲音！萬歲！
好了，說實話，吹不太出來，但至少有聲音。但可以感覺到大部分的氣從旁邊流出，聲音很無力…但有聲音！
我企圖把鼻笛左右搖、輪流用左右鼻孔吹，可是鼻笛的聲音蓋不過我喘氣的聲音。
好了，我知難而退了，熱淚盈眶，我正式宣佈放棄學鼻笛的夢。
可是
少多宜團長建議我學弓琴。這我就很有興趣！等我機會到臺東向他討教。

I am announcing that I have formally given up my dream of playing the nose flute.

Last year, the Gageng Amis Troupe performed in Taipei, and the troupe leader Sawtoy mentioned that Western noses don't fit the nose flute. I do not wish to go into the painful details again, so please click >here< for the full, uncensored tragedy.

But Sawtoy said he could make an improved nose flute, so I waited eagerly for months. Finally he came to Taipei again, with his improved nose flute. I put the flute to my nostrils, took a deep breath, and produced melodious music!

Well, okay, let's be honest, I produced a whiny, anemic sound, but at least I was able to coax a sound out of it (other than my own wheezing). This is a great step forward! A victory for Serbian nostrils! Although even I had to admit that most of the air escaped out the sides, rather than flowing into the flute.

Discretion being the better part of valor, I have decided to concede defeat, so with tears in my eyes, I am formally giving up my dream of playing the nose flute.

But!

Sawtoy suggested I take up the bow harp, which sounds like a great idea. So I'm planning to go down to Taitung for a couple of days sometime and learn how to play that. Consolation prize.

今天到少輔院，剛好是拿破崙與俄軍交鋒兩百週年日，所以放了1812給他們聽。我覺得能給他們介紹偉大藝術品，是我的榮幸。

It happened that I was scheduled for the Reformatory today, so I played 1812 for them. One of the privileges of being a volunteer there is the chance to introduce them to great works of art totally beyond the scope of their experience.
Also: here:: and there were no Russian POWs.

Today is the 200th anniversary of the battle of Borodino, Бородинское сражение, Napoleon's pyrrhic victory over the Russians. Described in War and Peace as "a continuous slaughter which could be of no avail either to the French or the Russians," the battle is also the subject of Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture. Listen to it today, in commemoration of all the brave souls who struggled there, and in the hope that such wars are never fought again.

我很受不了一個謬論：心靜自然凉。鬼呀！本來不怕熱的人才這樣說，但溫度降到二十二度，長袖馬上穿上來，絕不會說：心安自然暖。

我大學修劉正浩老師的左傳；劉老師一再強調，「春秋是民主社會。」扗下不以為然，不只是因為沒有選舉，且是因為整個社會風氣、人民恖攷模式、生活習慣，都不合現代所謂的民主。也罷，期末攷申論題：試論，春秋是否民主社會？扗下不求好死，寫了一長篇反駁，說春秋壓根兒不是民主社會；引經據典，從三傳、禮記、論語、墨子到洛克、Payne、Jefferson，說明春秋是民本社會，但絕非民主社會。寫完還得意，這篇很有說服力吧！

過幾天在校園遇到導師，他一看到我便問，「陶維極，你攷左傳是怎麼攷的？劉老師給我看你的攷卷，上面用黑筆寫四個大字：滿口胡言。」

我回老師，「老師，我本來就是洋鬼子，開口閉口當然都是胡言。」

心想，春秋是否民主社會，未成定論，可是有些老師顯然不支持言論自由的民主。

Apparently we are learning now what a hero we had in Neil Armstrong.

click

Come on, a laugh will do you good. ho ho click

今年「陰魂不散獎」，非天枰颱風莫屬。好了，可以走了吧！

Typhoon Tembin just won't go away. It's been nine days already. Enough!

晉永嘉年間，前趙高祖崩，太子劉和繼位，卻為其弟劉聰所弒，聰自立為昭武皇帝。
劉和曾派軍殺其弟北海王劉乂，由大將田密率軍，田密斬關投劉聰。
總而言之，覺得大將名「田密」不怎麼威武。
「報告長官，田密來了！」「不要那麼肉麻，好不好？」

RIP to Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon.

I was a teenager at the time the Eagle landed. My mother was drafting for Geology at Caltech. We never had a television, so we watched Armstrong's first steps in Geology's Moon Lab, with the scientists who were scheduled to get the moon rocks. That was an experience to remember, although I didn't understand most of their arcane discussion about the rocks they were seeing in fuzzy black and white.

click

See if you can read this without shaking your head or smiling.  click

近幾年商人很喜歡炒七夕為「中國情人節」，目的不外乎撈君口袋裏的鈔票。但七夕本來是情人節嗎？請參攷：here

Somehow, I am not in the least surprised to discover the breed of the culprit:::

>>The dog ate the money<<

白塔、白塔寺，我們外地人怎麼知道不同？我本想到元朝的白塔寺，看到地圖上有白塔，扗北海公園，就去了。後來才知道，白塔寺扗附近，但不一樣。

地圖上，從天安門西站過去就到了。下了地鐵….上了地鐵？地鐵扗地下，我到站離開車子往上走，我到底是下了地鐵或上了地鐵？真難搞。

好，再來。我到了天安門西站，從地鐵站走出，確認方向，放開步伐向北海公園走。走。走。路兩邊有樹，有圍牆，右邊大概是紫禁城，左邊是中南海吧？走。走。走。走了十幾分鐘，那條路彷彿無止境，我看到路名：南長街。不妙。再走走走，南長街變北長街，但還是看起來無止境。我太習慣嬌小的臺北市。走了半個小時才看到北海公園、看到白塔，美！

岸邊有船，一個小女孩賣力搖呀搖槳，船呢，如如不動。湖上石橋，橋下蓮花開。走過橋，登坡上白塔。過幾處寺院，樹上求願紅牌累累、喜氣洋洋，宣佈老毛已做古、極左歸正、共產只留下空殼。

走上白塔，俯視煤山、紫禁城。視線模糊，剛好，僅覽臨處古殿，不見遠方新樓，宛如身回明清。

降山半，到一亭台，拿出虜布(泰雅口簧琴)，俯瞰皇宮，彈了一曲。臺灣高山古樸美樂，難得到北京，尤其在紫禁城、天安門、人民大會堂頭上。嘻！

I wanted to visit the White Stupa, which dates back to the Mongol dynasty of Kublai Khan. It wasn't until later that I found out there are two White Stupas, and the one I spotted on the map was the newer one, which dates back to only 1651.

The new one is in the Beihai (North Sea) Park, near the Palace. On the map, it looked just down the street from the subway station, so I took the subway to the Tiananmen stop, got out, and started walking. After fifteen minutes, the end was nowhere in sight. Noticing that the name of the stret was South Long Street, I realized I was in for a stroll. I soon reached North Long Street, and after a half hour walk, finally spotted the White Stupa.

In the park is a sizeable lake, crossed by a bridge, which takes you to the foot of the hill. You climb the hill to reach the White Stupa. Don't bother to go if you don't like climbing steps, there are a lot.

It was a hazy day when I reached the top, which was just fine, because I could see the Palace and nearby complexes, but not much further. Poor visibility hid modern Beijing.

Coming down, I stopped at a pavilion and played the lubu (Tayal jaw harp), bringing Taiwan's high mountain music to a height above the emperors' palace, Tiananmen Square, and the Great Hall of the People.

 

楊三哥送我五棵樟樹苗、五棵杏樹苗。樟樹可以活千年、銀杏則千年以上；這是一份意義非凡的禮物。本來想好地方要將一棵樟種扗土裏，但今天打雷、下雨，所以暫且全種花盆。等大了再迻蒔山土。

Yang 3 gave me five camphor saplings and five ginkgo saplings. A camphor can grow over a thousand years, and a ginkgo even longer, so this is a mighty gift.

They are small. I was going to plant one out in the jungle this afternoon, but there was lightning and rain, so I planted them all in pots. When they are larger, and less likely to be trampled by wild dogs (we're not naming anybody in particular, so don't worry, Yumin and Byajing), I will plant them out on the mountain.

Did everybody forget to celebrate Napoleon's birthday yesterday?

七月廿一日下午，臺北車站上出現了龍頭。

A dragon head appeared over Taipei  Station, July 21.

Early on the morning of August 12.

Early on the morning of August 14.

and if you even start to talk about "end times" or Revelations,

you are invited to leave this blog.

This makes sense: to improve your memory, walk around. The human being evolved walking, not sitting at a desk.

Click: your desk is making you dumb.

今天最美的句子：「我常常忘記馬鈴薯的存扗。」
Today's most beautiful statement: "I often forget about the existence of potatoes."

前不久在後門外砍朽竹，才知道裏面有虎頭蜂巢。一隻飛出來叮我，我迅速後退就沒事。但問題是，朽竹在地上，離後門很近，蜂巢猶在。我太忙，暫時沒空處理，就放著，想過幾天再想辦法。聰明的Yumin，繞過去不靠近。到第三天，我看Yumin從朽竹旁走過，一看，巢也不見了，蜂也不見了，連螞蟻也找不到可以吃的。
請教鳥專家賴鵬智，他判斷應該是東方蜂鷹把整個叼走。很好，送給你們！

英語的牛說moo。
希伯來語的牛說געיה。
阿拉伯語的牛說تخور。
諾威語的牛說mø。
華語的牛說牟。
但是
操京片兒的牛兒說
牟兒。

一位大陸來臺的遊客說，「我以讀書的時候很恨蔣介石，我現在來臺灣，我更恨蔣介石。」
「為甚麼？」
「因為他沒有剿匪成功。」
A tourist from mainland China said, "When I was a student, I hated Chiang Kai Shek, but now that I've come to Taiwan, I hate him even more."
"Why?"
"Because he didn't exterminate the communists."

also

颱風把我們的水管弄斷了，所以昨天早上我與鄰居ㄈ先生順著水管到山裏去找問題出在哪裏。

這畢竟是雨林，有一段時間我們沒去，所以很難走，很容易迷路。烏來的自來水是自己找來的水，叢林裏水管很多，雜草更多，我們的水管扗哪裏，可真難找。我跟ㄈ先生說，你手機有導航的話，我們應該定點確認我們的水管扗哪裏，以後比較好找。

ㄈ先生說，我手機沒有導航，你的有嗎？

我說，當然沒有。沒關係，用人腦總比依賴科技好。

The typhoon severed our water pipes somewhere in the jungle, so I went with my neighbor, Mr F, to reconnect them.

Everything grows like crazy, and there are a lot of water pipes along the way. They get overgrown, covered up by debris, and mixed up with other pipes. We hadn't been up there for a while, so we got lost (naturally) and had trouble finding our pipe. I told Mr F, If you had GPS on your phone, we could fix the coordinates for our pipe so we could find it easier.

He said, I don't have GPS on my cell phone. Do you?

I said, Of course not. Never mind, it's always better to use your wits than to rely on technology.

"When you're rich, you want a Republican in office." Exactly, so if you’re not rich, you don’t want a Republican in office.
This perceptive quote comes from a Romney supporter, retired porn star Jenna Jameson. From the article (click) it seems that a lot of porn stars are lining up to show their support for Romney. Probably because if Romney wins, we're all fckd.

Please be aware that August 3^rd is National Watermelon Day.

Act accordingly.

click

颱風來了。今早起床，「洚水驚余」，發現我們家後面多了幾處瀑布、水池。好了，孟老先生教我們，「水就下」，就讓它往下吧！拖鞋丟一旁，穿了短褲雨衣雨帽，花了一個半小時疏浚水道，大功告成，還帶了三個水蛭回家。不知大禹治水時，有沒有水蛭。

It rained over 200mm (about 8") before noon this morning, thanks to our latest typhoon. When I woke up, I saw we had several new ponds and waterfalls in back of our house, so I kicked off my flip-flops, changed into shorts, raincoat, and sou-wester, and headed into the deluge. I worked for about an hour and a half to clear all the channels and let the water go downhill. So all is fine now, thanks. I even brought home three leeches.

向來，扗臺灣聽到京片兒，難免聯想到四十歲以上的人；尤其女性操京片，總會想到穿著旗袍、頭髮紮起來、脖子上掛一副老花眼鏡的阿姨，因為我扗臺灣聽到的京片，就是這種年齡、模樣的人。

到北京，聽到小孩兒說話兒帶京片兒，覺得很有味兒。以前聽過人形容這種腔，說講話「含熱茄子」，很恰當。

有些用法要習慣一下。我們說「不客氣」或「沒關係」，他們往往說「沒事兒」。我們說「好」、「可以」，他們說「「行」」(發音特殊)。要離開時，他們說，「你慢一點」，好幾次我駐足問，怎麼了？才知道，「你慢一點」等于「慢走」。

我們覺得他們的京片好玩，他們覺得我們的臺灣國語有趣。不過，我還是比較習慣臺灣國語。

Standard Mandarin is supposed to be the Beijing accent, but they talk "like they have a mouthful of hot eggplant." We were amused by the Beijing accent, they were amused by our Taiwan accent. But we got along fine.

If you go online, you can't avoid the Olympics, even if you try. I did.

The American team uniform makes me expect the athletes to come over to my seat and ask, Would you like coffee or tea? But my heart bursts with …pride?... to think that inside every piece of clothing they wear, there's a label saying MADE IN CHINA.

My candidates for the worst uniforms, after the US: Israel, Italy, Switzerland, France all look like they're on their way to punch the card at the office. No imagination. New Zealanders look like a bunch of tourists on a low-budget tour with giveaway outfits. Try not to look at the Ukrainian uniform. (You can probably tell my entire exposure to the opening ceremony is a Yahoo slideshow.)

My favorites are the Swedes, who actually look comfortable, which is probably unforgivable in the world of high fashion. And I don't care what you say, I love the Malaysian uniform. Who says an Olympic athlete has to look like a constipated cubicle monkey? Better to look like a tiger.

useful information: 古之野豬艦：
南史、王琳列傳：「王琳將張平宅乘一艦，每將戰勝，艦則有聲如野豬，故琳戰艦以千數，以野豬為名。」
(西元五五七年)

我們到北京，主辦的陳老師請我們到淨心蓮素食館；雖云素矣，豪華無比。我這生見過最大的菜單：兩本，各長一公尺、厚五公分左右、重如船錨。一本是菜、另一本是飲料。服務生抱著幾本菜單，翩翩如邯鄲之善步者：重心不穩。

吃完，離開時，所有女士皆送蓮花；已入夜，姑娘提燈籠照路，送到停車場。真是非常用心！

Our hosts in Beijing took us to dinner at Pure Heart Lotus Vegetarian restaurant, an almost indescribably luxurious setting in which we enjoyed a memorable meal.

Worthy of mention is that they have the largest menus I have ever seen. Each diner is presented with two menus, each about a meter long and five centimeters thick, weighing half a ton; one was for dishes, the other for beverages, mostly fruit juice and tea. Thumbing through the menus is a good way to work up an appetite, and a good work out for the staff. The waitresses staggered under the load.

After the meal, we staggered outside, where each female was presented with a lotus (each female: our host's four year old daughter got one, too) and our path to the parking lot was illuminated by a lass carrying a lantern.

平時上北京地鐵，不太容易坐到位子。住北京的朋友都說，外地人尖峰時間不要上地鐵。北京友人趙先生說，「我住的地方不是起站，所以上下班時間坐地鐵很方便，不需要走路，站著被人群推上車、推下車，全自動。」

一胎政策，全世界垢罵，但試想，如果大陸施行「兩個孩子恰恰好」，地鐵怎麼坐？如果那麼多人，吃甚麼？有工作嗎？吃不飽、沒工作，就容易亂，一亂就不可收拾。全世界，人多為患，不管哪裡，絕對必要減少人口壓力，更何況是中國大陸。讓共產黨去背這個黑鍋，也好。

Even during the off hours, it's hard to find a seat on the Beijing subway. Beijingers warn visitors not to attempt to take the subway during the rush hour. Our friend Mr Chao said, "I don't live near the first stop, so when I take the subway to and from work, it's really convenient. You don't have to walk at all. You just let the crowds carry you onto the subway and off the subway, it's totally automatic."

The One Birth policy has been widely excoriated, but somebody had to do it, so it's just as well that the Communists take the blame for it. Imagine what the subway would be like if there had been less birth control. Say each couple had two children; what would all those people eat? What jobs would they have? If they didn't have jobs and weren't eating, chaos would ensue. If China deteriorates into chaos, the whole world suffers.

A few days ago, I mentioned that when we were in Beijing, there was what in Taiwan we would call a light sprinkle, but the locals called a heavy rain. As it happens, yesterday they got 450mm (about 18") of rain in a day, a respectable downpour even for Taiwan. Nearly 40 people died (out of a population of about 30 million). This was the heaviest rain Beijing had had for sixty years.

Beijing has experienced incredible growth in the last twenty years. If my experience in Taipei is anything to go by, first the roads and buildings go in, and then later the drains. My first fifteen years in Taipei were spent slipping, sliding, and wading through mud as drains were installed, and water after every heavy rainstorm and typhoon. I recall one night's heavy rain filled up all the underpasses, some of them pretty sizeable affairs. A friend was driving home late that night; he paused at the edge of a puddle, trying to figure out whether he ought to gun the motor and charge on through. He noticed something on the surface of the water. Careful examination showed that it was the roof of a car. He found another route home. One typhoon flooded every basement in the city, destroying thousands of cars; ever since then, parking on bridges is allowed, even encouraged, during typhoons. As recently as a decade ago, a persistent typhoon flooded the brand-new subway and drowned Taipei Main Station.

By now, we have excellent drains, but even so, a big typhoon can cause flooding up to the second story in areas. This is in a climate in which heavy-duty downpours are standard summer fare, and in a typical summer, we get several typhoons larger than Katrina. 450mm, can you imagine what that would do to an American city? (I am not particularly singling out Boston, but…) In Taiwan, we could probably manage, but an inch of snow would probably throw down the government. So there’s also an element of what you're prepared for.

All things being equal, although I am sorry about the tragic flooding in Beijing, it is not too surprising, and I hope they get their drains installed and working as soon as possible.

I chose the wrong job. I shouldn't have become a teacher. I should have become a Motivational Speaker, or even better, a Peak Performance Strategist, just like Tony Robbins, who spreads live coals on the ground and has people walk over them, to "unleash the power within." "Understand that there is absolutely nothing you can't overcome." Oh, yessir, yessir, I believe you, ain't nothing you can't overcome if you believe, except maybe hot coals, like the 21 people who got burned ::here::. Actually, anybody who paid to go to the event got burned, if you ask me.

I shouldn't have become a teacher, I should have become a Peak Performance System Strategist (you can always charge Americans more if you use the word "system"). Can't you just see me up on the podium, bending into my microphone? "Unleash the power within, yes you can do it, you can do it if you reach deep within, that's it, yes, there is absolutely nothing you can't overcome, so reach deep down, that's right, reach deeeeep down, go ahead, trust yourself, if you trust yourself you can do anything, reach deep, deep down and give me all the money you come up with, small, unmarked bills preferred.
"Now, I see that some of you are having trouble reaching down deep enough, and I feel your pain, I understand the obstacle you are experiencing. You are unable to unleash the power within, but basically there is nothing, absolutely nothing you cannot overcome, so in order for you to actually overcome this obstacle, those of you who have been unable to reach down far enough to come up with a fistful of nice crisp bills for Teacher will go over there, now all of you look over to your left, where you see live coals, fifteen yards of hot, burning coals, heated to over two thousand degrees, and you will basically walk across those coals to prove to yourself that you can do it, if you trust yourself you can overcome any difficulty, just reach down far enough to bring out the power within.
"Oh, wonderful, I see lots of people have reached down far enough, and I see happy fists full of nice cash for Teacher. Now, please recall that there is an AMT in the lobby, and feel free to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity, and if of course you do not feel empowered enough to dig up some of the good stuff for Teacher, our friendly attendants will lead you to the Firewalk of Burnt Soles. You can recognize our attendants easily, they are the congenial people you see waving the cattle prods and tasers. So, let’s all try a bit harder, to reach deeeep down…."

Problem is, I don’t have the hair style for it.

More good news, and hope, from North Korea, a place sorely in need of both:: here:::
If Burma can reform, North Korea can, too! I hope.

周口店、頤和園之後，我們下個目標是雍和宮。我去過一次。十七年前，補習班派幾個人到大陸看看市場~~我、莫老師、王老師、還有兩個職員，阮小姐與李小姐，由副總裁帶隊；我們到北京，參觀教學、與老師交流；我們拜訪北京大學讓我印象最深刻的是高幹：男高幹：侃侃地給我們解釋化妝的文化、對女性的重要等等，當時我想，休想要偉大廣大勞動人民回到公社穿毛裝，那個時代絕對不再！大王毛主席駕崩了，消費文化萬歲、萬萬歲！

我們扗北京也去了長城、頤和園、雍和宮還有其它名勝。回臺後不久，阮、李小姐離職，王老師退休了，與同行同事多年不見。

這次到北京，我一定要再到雍和宮，就是一九五零年代達賴喇嘛與班禪喇嘛同時登座說法的地方，至今氣場殊勝、印象深刻，所以想與阿超一起看看。

現在雍和宮與十七年前最大的不同，一、好幾位喇嘛常住；二、很多志工，其中有藏人；三、裏面賣平安福、香等；四、我印象中，上次去沒有咒輪，現在很多座，眾人轉咒輪降福；五、現在很多當地人來雍和宮拜佛。看得出來，他們不習慣拜、不知道如何拜，但虔誠心隨著裊裊芳香上升入天。不怕他們動作僵硬、不怕他們不太會禮佛、不怕他們心裏求的是金銀珠寶，他們想要到雍和宮、見了佛、浸潤于佛境，種下了籽，已經走上了解脫之道，跨出大步了，將來因緣成熟，必然大有成就。

且說：現在環境允許他們到佛寺上香，很了不起！老毛時代，偉大無產階級若想要拜佛，就送上西天見佛去吧！

其實，這天我們本來要到孔廟，但因為我們發現孔廟隔壁是雍和宮，加上剛好我們穿的是中文+藏文的上衣(這件上衣有個中文「喜」字，並嵌藏文字)，好吧，我們臨時決定先到雍和宮。

進去讚揚佛、道場莊嚴，同時也有一批出家人來臨：顯宗的，明顯是內地比丘，不是臺灣出家人；因為他們來，一位大喇嘛接待。

我們走過喇嘛身旁，聽到他一聲：「你們兩個轉過去站好。」他看到了我們的上衣，我們解釋由來。喇嘛說，藏文也是喜字。剛好，我站在那跟他講的時候，我看到阮小姐走過來~~就是十七年前一起拜訪雍和宮、多年不見的昔日同事阮小姐，剛好她遊大陸到了北京，帶她女兒來雍和宮。

我第二次來雍和宮；發現十幾年來，阮小姐常到北京，但也是她第二次來雍和宮。因緣果然殊勝！

This was my second trip to Beijing. My first was about seventeen years ago, when Merica, the cram school where I teach, sent a contingent of us to check out the market there. Professors Mo and Wang and I went, along with staff members Ms L and Ms J, under the intrepid leadership of our Vice CEO. In Beijing, we visited schools and talked with teachers. I have a very strong memory of Peking University, where a high ranking party cadre lectured us on the culture of cosmetology and the importance of makeup. Ding dong, Emperor Mao is dead, long live the consumer culture! People aren't going back to Mao suits and communes again.

We also saw some sights, including the Yungho Temple, an impressive lamasery supported by the Ching dynasty emperors (the situation in Tibet is far more perplexing than it appears, as Tibet asked for Chinese protection in dynastic times, and so forth.)

After our return, eventually Professor Wang retired, Ms L and Ms J wandered off to other jobs, and we lost track of each other. But on my second trip to Beijing, this June, I wanted to take Chao to visit the temple.

Actually, the day we went, we were headed for the Confucius Temple. We realized it was right around the corner, and, as we happened to be wearing T shirts with both Chinese and Tibetan on them, on the spur of the moment we decided to go to the Yungho Temple first.

I noticed several great differences this time, compared to the early 1990s. First, there are now many lamas at the temple. Second, there are a lot of volunteers working there, many Tibetan. Third, inside the temple are kiosks selling charms, incense, and other religious objects. Fourth, I don't recall seeing mantra wheels last time, but now there are a lot, spun vigorously and often by the crowds. Fifth, many locals were burning incense and bowing to the Buddhas. You could tell that they were new to this, but no matter how clumsy their efforts, it's a good start. Especially when you consider that a few decades ago, wanting to pay respects to a Buddha would have been enough to get you shot.

As it happened, there was a group of Mahayana monks visiting, so a head lama came to guide them around. As we passed the lama, he called out, "You two, stop right there and turn around." He had noticed the juxtaposition of Tibetan and Chinese on our shirts. We explained that they come from a Tantric group in Taiwan. As we stood there, who should come walking along but Ms J, the former Merica employee who had been along the last time I went to the Yungho Temple! We hadn't seen each other for many years. It turns out that she was traveling around mainland China, came to Beijing, and just happened to come to the Yungho Temple, and although she has been in Beijing many times since our last visit, this too was only her second visit to the Yongho Temple. If you ask me, that is a pretty impressive coincidence. Or not.

我們到北京，大家說，「下大雨！」困惑：這是小雨。至少，依臺灣的習慣，會說，下一點小雨。山上的人大概懶得撐傘。

到北京的前一週看氣象報告，吃驚！三十七度！三十六度！媽呀怎麼辦？托雨福，那幾天像臺灣的秋天。即使後來出大太陽，也許是緯度的關係，沒有臺灣的太陽那麼毒。

In Beijing, we were confused when people told us it was "raining hard." By Taiwan standards, that was a light sprinkle, and people in the mountains wouldn't even bother with an umbrella.

When it rained, the temperature felt like fall in Taiwan. Even though the stuff shone brightly our last couple of days, the rays were gentler than in Taiwan.

一直認為，百年後，蔣中正的地位將冉冉升愈。他非常符合華夏文化崇敬的一種悲劇英雄的典型；為臺灣同胞求命，不許美軍襲擊臺灣；鐵血駻衛國家、日本投降時寬弘大量將日本兵遷送回國；大義滅親，為國將愛子委質于蘇聯、任其盡受委屈；勦毛鬥朱，疲于奔命；效忠孫中山的三民主義、中華民國，其忠心不渝，從未想改朝換代；明知大陸不可能反攻，而「知其不可為而為之」；扗臺保衛中華文化，失之不滅于文化大革命；留守臺灣，不求安逸于海外；老不著西服，非戎衣則長袍馬褂；壽終正寢于臺灣而終不得返歸家鄉，這是可歌可誦的悲劇人生。身為佛弟子，卻為拉攏美援而受洗；剛柔並施、正邪通吃、他的個性多面、複雜、難測。

想：蔣、毛、周恩來、杜月笙、朱德、彭德懷、林彪、劉伯承，一群極為傳奇的人物，只等著五百年後，羅貫中轉生，寫一部『民國演義』，必定垂名千古。

想：蔣，像不像劉備？毛，像不像曹操？

如今中國前進迅速。因為改革、進步，所以不需墨守黨規，因而他們用心檢討歷史。我們扗北京，聽他們說，「我們以前學的是說老毛打日本鬼子，我們現在知道，這是胡說八道；抗戰時都是蔣介石去打日本人，老毛翹二郎腿，任日本軍去殺同胞，出動的話，頂多只是小規模的遊擊，如此而已。」

I have long suspected that Chiang Kai-Shek will be remembered much more kindly by future generations. He fits the Chinese ideal of the tragic hero to perfection. He is being reevaluated on both sides of the Taiwan Strait. Even still, I was a bit surprised by what I heard in Beijing. People told me, "In school we were taught that during WWII, Old Mao fought off the Japanese imperialists all by himself. Now we know that's nonsense. Chiang Kai Shek did all the fighting, while Old Mao sat back to let the Japanese kill Chinese, and if he did any fighting, at most it was minor guerilla skirmishes."

overheard in Beijing

遊北京
臺胞甲：哇你看，無拒台素食超市，很有境界！
乙看： 妳是不是想到六祖惠能跟神秀，明鏡亦非臺，本來無一物？
甲： 是啊！
乙： 很不好意思….

無櫃檯素食超市

Viva la France!

Today we celebrate Bastille Day with several relevant quotes.
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." - General George S. Patton.
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Norman Schwartzkopf.
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson
"As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure" - Jacques Chirac, President of France
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." Regis Philbin.

我們計畫北京行時，我想，到北京要看啥？要到北京就看北京人！房山離市中心不算太遠，主意一定，先email跟客棧安排。我們到京第二天就包車去。

早上，司機高師傅到了客棧，我們上車，但高師傅先不發車。「你們要到哪兒？」奇怪，客棧沒跟他說嗎？「我們要去周口店。」「周口店？」「是啊，我們想去周口店。」他想一想。「要不要去長城？」「不是，我們想去周口店。」「長城去過嗎？」「我們都去過，所以這次我們想到周口店看一看。」「好吧…怎麼去？」才知道租車公司忘了跟他說我們要去哪。(故意的嗎？)他沒去過，他打電話問很多司機，都沒去過，所以最後只好打電話問周口店地方政府，問清楚了，我們就上路了。高師傅說，「很少人到周口店。」我也有這種感覺。他自己也沒去過，所以我們說，好啊，也給你玩個新地方。

北京塞車，又下小雨，離開了市區，雨也停了。又開了一小時左右，到了周口店遺址。這就是馳名中外的世界重要的攷古遺址，因為就在這個地方，就在這個小山丘，五、六十萬年前的北京人當鬣狗、劔齒虎的餐點，留下很多啃過的碎骨，造福後代的攷古學者。

當時我們的祖先是直立人，男性成年平均身高一百五十六公分、女性一百四十四公分，頭腦比我們現在人的小很多，能做石器、能用火、有基本語言能力(能發幾個基本音，講單字不能講句子，大概不能表達複雜概念，語言能力大約相當于現在補習班裏大學生的英語能力)，很會爬樹：爬樹技術差的，委託鬣狗、劔齒虎將基因淘汰掉。

遺址有許多栩栩如生的野獸塑像，看到第一個真有點驚訝，因為很像是真的！只有北京人的塑像不照真實尺寸，反而都一百八十幾公分！或許主辦單位攷慮自尊，不得把祖先顯得矮小，但我認為，那麼個小不溜丟的還能與恐怖獵食動物共存，實在了不起！

臺南，在臺灣有人說是「古都」，才三四百年；周朝的冀、燕就是今天的北京：三千年。龍山文化的河南登封市的排水已經做的比今天的Boston好：四千年。山東濟南大概有七千年的歷史。了不起！

不要小看那些矮矮、頭腦不發達、不會用手機的北京人：他們在周口店住了二十萬年！

www.zkd.cn

Since we were going to Beijing, we laid plans: what did we really want to see? The Peking Man (Beijing Man) World Heritage Site at Chouk'outien (Zhoukoudian, CKT for convenience, unless you insist on ZKD) popped into mind, so we arranged for a car and driver to take us there on the second day of our stay.

Our driver, Mr Gao, led us to the car, got in, and asked, "Where is it you want to go?" Funny, didn't the hotel tell him? "We want to go to CKT." He mulled. "Would you like to go to the Great Wall?" "No, we want to go to CKT." "Have you been to the Great Wall?" "Yes, we've been there before, so this time we'd like to go to CKT to take a look." "Okay… how do we get there?" Apparently most tourists don't go to the Beijing Man Heritage Site, because Mr Gao didn't know how to get there, and phoning around showed that none of the other drivers did, either. No wonder the hotel didn't inform him ahead of time about our destination.
Finally Mr Gao phoned the local authorities at CKT and got directions. We worked our way through morning traffic and a light rain. An hour after we left downtown, we reached the fabled site, one of the most important archaeological sites in the world, where five and six hundred thousand years ago, primitive man proved that they could not outrun hyenas or saber tooth tigers, leaving behind gnawed bones to enrich our knowledge and provide material for generations of dissertations and theses.
These early humans, homo erectus, had smaller brains that ours, rudimentary language skills, could make stone tools, used fire, and the ones who could not swiftly climb trees got their genes eliminated by several species of large carnivores. The men averaged 156cm, the women 144cm, short by modern standards.
In various spots of the Site are statues of the wildlife the Peking Men lived with. They are so lifelike that they are startling. They are done to scale –except for the Peking Men, who are all about six feet tall. I suspect the authorities considered it a matter of pride, dignity, or face not to have a bunch of these little hominids scampering around our heritage. But consider that these little hominids survived life with cave bears and saber tooth tigers: very impressive, more impressive than if they had been gladiator size.
London is considered an old city: it dates back to Roman times. Four thousand years ago in Dengfeng city (Honan) the drains and sewer pipes worked better than modern Boston's. Jinan in Shandong has been inhabited for seven thousand years: ancient!
Yet those runty little hominids with their primitive tools and simple brains, lacking cell phones and flush toilets, lived in CKT for two hundred thousand years.

有個想法，也許有人認為古怪詭譎，但我認為旅遊時應該嘗嘗當地風格。若到北京住了五星級大飯店，有它的舒適，但不是道地的北京味：地道的北京味兒。所以我們選了衚衕裏的客棧，住了東城區禮士胡同的小院客棧。
小院客棧就是將舊房子翻新，所以還保存原來的格局。房間裏是舊式雕琢木床~看起來像櫸木，頭上有框架，四邊包起來的硬木板床，好舒服！我最怕飯店的軟床，睡幾天好像被腰斬。
客棧有兩個特點：其一，我們的房間很暗，燈不夠。我們請服務員來看有沒有辦法裝個燈，他進來轉了兩下，說，「沒辦法。」好吧，暗就暗。

其二，廁所沒鏡子。頭髮不梳就算了，可是刮鬍時戰戰兢兢，手持利刃，很怕割喉嚨。

增添很多趣味，住一般飯店沒有這種經驗吧！

Some people may think this is a strange idea, but I think that if you travel, you ought to see what that place is like. I'd rather not stay in a 5 star hotel, because they're all alike, wherever you go. You get pampered, but if it's not a business trip, why not see something?

For our stay in Beijing, we opted for a small inn in an alley, named the Xiao Yuan Alley Courtyard Hotel. To give you an idea, when we arrived, the previous guest had just left, and it took three maids an hour to make up the room. We are not talking about hustle-bustle-at-your-service-Master. But it is pleasant, the location is good, staying in a hutung / alley gives you a different view of Beijing, and overall we enjoyed it greatly.

Of course, more is up to the observer than to the environment. The Hotel has a small(Western style) bar + restaurant. A young French couple spent most of their stay in Beijing in the restaurant playing board games with a young American. Well, after traveling all that distance, you wouldn't want to go outside and see anything, would you!?

For the first time since about last November, the ground around our house is drying out. There are even stars out.

扗北京看到很多招牌寫老北京：老北京炸醬麵、老北京燒餅、老北京布鞋、老北京香鋪等等。何謂老北京，也不太清楚，但應該是抗戰以前、毛建國以前、文革以前的往日：民國初年、清朝末年。

可見，人民想認識、品嚐、掏選、履行以前的傳統，知道傳統蘊含很多寶。寶，不一定是輝煌的宮廷、了不起的金銀琉璃；小到一個燒餅、剖木技巧，都是生活中的寶。

文革時破四舊，若提出甚麼老北京，肯定被批鬥、送勞改、不得翻身。幸虧，那段日子過了。願永不復返。

In Beijing, you see a lot of signs and stores that say Old Beijing: Old Beijing Noodles, Old Beijing Incense, what have you. Exactly what Old Beijing implies is not quite clear, but probably the times before WWII, Mao's takeover, and the Cultural Revolution: the early days of the Republic and the last days of the Empire.

During the Cultural Revolution, espousing anything Old was suicidal, but now people are going back to their roots to see what might have been neglected. It is safe to do so now. In China, communism is a label used to keep the country from shaking itself into pieces. In practical life, communism and Maoism are long dead. Robust capitalism and forward seeking venture are the facts of life in China today. But the past is still cherished.

華航還有很拘泥、很不會變通。我想做一項科學實驗，結果被他們擋住了、不准。本來想牽一隻牛到北京看是不是還是牛，結果華航不給上機，說甚麼牛繫不了安全帶啊、牛塞不進頭上的櫃子啊、一大堆理由，就是不讓我把牛牽到北京。大家這麼沒有科學精神的話，怎麼會進步呢？

Our 華航 China Airlines flight took off from Taoyuan, Taiwan, flying direct to Beijing. Computers can be vexing, and can get out of control, but overall I love computers and the internet. On back of the seat in front of us was a small screen, on which you could see your location in real time. (Coming home was even better: there were two cameras, one showing the view below the plane, the other straight ahead.)

As we flew up the coast towards Shanghai, I pondered, I have seen some incredible changes in my lifetime. In November 1971, I took a boat from Taiwan to Hong Kong to procure my visa (round trip was US$40, about half the price of an air ticket). Aside from vomiting prolifically, my main amusement on the trip down the Taiwan Straits was watching the fishing boats from 福建 Fujian and 廣東 Kuangtung / Guangdong. Recall that 1971 was about halfway through 文革 the Cultural Revolution, AKA 十年大浩劫 the Enormous Ten Year Catastrophe. Mainland China was closed to the world, writhing in turmoil, and immersed in poverty. I could clearly see that their sails were patched and worn; they all used sail, and not a motor was to be heard. The fishing boats kept a good distance from us; they were a world away.

In those days, the idea of flying direct between Taiwan and Beijing was preposterous. Preposterous, that is, for a commercial flight, but the prospect of military flights, on hostile missions, seemed very probable. But to fly from Taiwan to Beijing on China Airlines, the flag bearer of the Republic of Taiwan, Taiwan? Absurd!

But these flights have been flying regularly for some years now, and sitting comfortably, eating my breakfast, I looked forward to seeing Beijing again. I've been once before, in 1993. Would the changes I see live up to what my friends have described?

My first reaction on landing was, is this one airport or six? Beijing Airport is gigantic, huge, immense, and so forth. In its day, Chiang Kai Shek Airport was probably the best in the Far East; now renamed Taoyuan Airport, it could just about fit inside one terminal on the BJ Airport.

We got off the plane and marched into the terminal, and what was the first sign to meet my eyes? STARBUCKS. You barely need to travel anymore. The next sign we saw was KFC. You could go around the world eating nothing but KFC and Mickey D, with stops in Starbucks. It'd probably make you sick, well deservedly sick, but it could be done.

Things improved quickly. Today's Beijing is overpowering. More on that later. Good night.