If you go online, you can't avoid the Olympics, even if you try. I did.

The American team uniform makes me expect the athletes to come over to my seat and ask, Would you like coffee or tea? But my heart bursts with …pride?... to think that inside every piece of clothing they wear, there's a label saying MADE IN CHINA.

My candidates for the worst uniforms, after the US: Israel, Italy, Switzerland, France all look like they're on their way to punch the card at the office. No imagination. New Zealanders look like a bunch of tourists on a low-budget tour with giveaway outfits. Try not to look at the Ukrainian uniform. (You can probably tell my entire exposure to the opening ceremony is a Yahoo slideshow.)

My favorites are the Swedes, who actually look comfortable, which is probably unforgivable in the world of high fashion. And I don't care what you say, I love the Malaysian uniform. Who says an Olympic athlete has to look like a constipated cubicle monkey? Better to look like a tiger.

useful information: 古之野豬艦：
南史、王琳列傳：「王琳將張平宅乘一艦，每將戰勝，艦則有聲如野豬，故琳戰艦以千數，以野豬為名。」
(西元五五七年)

我們到北京，主辦的陳老師請我們到淨心蓮素食館；雖云素矣，豪華無比。我這生見過最大的菜單：兩本，各長一公尺、厚五公分左右、重如船錨。一本是菜、另一本是飲料。服務生抱著幾本菜單，翩翩如邯鄲之善步者：重心不穩。

吃完，離開時，所有女士皆送蓮花；已入夜，姑娘提燈籠照路，送到停車場。真是非常用心！

Our hosts in Beijing took us to dinner at Pure Heart Lotus Vegetarian restaurant, an almost indescribably luxurious setting in which we enjoyed a memorable meal.

Worthy of mention is that they have the largest menus I have ever seen. Each diner is presented with two menus, each about a meter long and five centimeters thick, weighing half a ton; one was for dishes, the other for beverages, mostly fruit juice and tea. Thumbing through the menus is a good way to work up an appetite, and a good work out for the staff. The waitresses staggered under the load.

After the meal, we staggered outside, where each female was presented with a lotus (each female: our host's four year old daughter got one, too) and our path to the parking lot was illuminated by a lass carrying a lantern.

平時上北京地鐵，不太容易坐到位子。住北京的朋友都說，外地人尖峰時間不要上地鐵。北京友人趙先生說，「我住的地方不是起站，所以上下班時間坐地鐵很方便，不需要走路，站著被人群推上車、推下車，全自動。」

一胎政策，全世界垢罵，但試想，如果大陸施行「兩個孩子恰恰好」，地鐵怎麼坐？如果那麼多人，吃甚麼？有工作嗎？吃不飽、沒工作，就容易亂，一亂就不可收拾。全世界，人多為患，不管哪裡，絕對必要減少人口壓力，更何況是中國大陸。讓共產黨去背這個黑鍋，也好。

Even during the off hours, it's hard to find a seat on the Beijing subway. Beijingers warn visitors not to attempt to take the subway during the rush hour. Our friend Mr Chao said, "I don't live near the first stop, so when I take the subway to and from work, it's really convenient. You don't have to walk at all. You just let the crowds carry you onto the subway and off the subway, it's totally automatic."

The One Birth policy has been widely excoriated, but somebody had to do it, so it's just as well that the Communists take the blame for it. Imagine what the subway would be like if there had been less birth control. Say each couple had two children; what would all those people eat? What jobs would they have? If they didn't have jobs and weren't eating, chaos would ensue. If China deteriorates into chaos, the whole world suffers.

A few days ago, I mentioned that when we were in Beijing, there was what in Taiwan we would call a light sprinkle, but the locals called a heavy rain. As it happens, yesterday they got 450mm (about 18") of rain in a day, a respectable downpour even for Taiwan. Nearly 40 people died (out of a population of about 30 million). This was the heaviest rain Beijing had had for sixty years.

Beijing has experienced incredible growth in the last twenty years. If my experience in Taipei is anything to go by, first the roads and buildings go in, and then later the drains. My first fifteen years in Taipei were spent slipping, sliding, and wading through mud as drains were installed, and water after every heavy rainstorm and typhoon. I recall one night's heavy rain filled up all the underpasses, some of them pretty sizeable affairs. A friend was driving home late that night; he paused at the edge of a puddle, trying to figure out whether he ought to gun the motor and charge on through. He noticed something on the surface of the water. Careful examination showed that it was the roof of a car. He found another route home. One typhoon flooded every basement in the city, destroying thousands of cars; ever since then, parking on bridges is allowed, even encouraged, during typhoons. As recently as a decade ago, a persistent typhoon flooded the brand-new subway and drowned Taipei Main Station.

By now, we have excellent drains, but even so, a big typhoon can cause flooding up to the second story in areas. This is in a climate in which heavy-duty downpours are standard summer fare, and in a typical summer, we get several typhoons larger than Katrina. 450mm, can you imagine what that would do to an American city? (I am not particularly singling out Boston, but…) In Taiwan, we could probably manage, but an inch of snow would probably throw down the government. So there’s also an element of what you're prepared for.

All things being equal, although I am sorry about the tragic flooding in Beijing, it is not too surprising, and I hope they get their drains installed and working as soon as possible.

I chose the wrong job. I shouldn't have become a teacher. I should have become a Motivational Speaker, or even better, a Peak Performance Strategist, just like Tony Robbins, who spreads live coals on the ground and has people walk over them, to "unleash the power within." "Understand that there is absolutely nothing you can't overcome." Oh, yessir, yessir, I believe you, ain't nothing you can't overcome if you believe, except maybe hot coals, like the 21 people who got burned ::here::. Actually, anybody who paid to go to the event got burned, if you ask me.

I shouldn't have become a teacher, I should have become a Peak Performance System Strategist (you can always charge Americans more if you use the word "system"). Can't you just see me up on the podium, bending into my microphone? "Unleash the power within, yes you can do it, you can do it if you reach deep within, that's it, yes, there is absolutely nothing you can't overcome, so reach deep down, that's right, reach deeeeep down, go ahead, trust yourself, if you trust yourself you can do anything, reach deep, deep down and give me all the money you come up with, small, unmarked bills preferred.
"Now, I see that some of you are having trouble reaching down deep enough, and I feel your pain, I understand the obstacle you are experiencing. You are unable to unleash the power within, but basically there is nothing, absolutely nothing you cannot overcome, so in order for you to actually overcome this obstacle, those of you who have been unable to reach down far enough to come up with a fistful of nice crisp bills for Teacher will go over there, now all of you look over to your left, where you see live coals, fifteen yards of hot, burning coals, heated to over two thousand degrees, and you will basically walk across those coals to prove to yourself that you can do it, if you trust yourself you can overcome any difficulty, just reach down far enough to bring out the power within.
"Oh, wonderful, I see lots of people have reached down far enough, and I see happy fists full of nice cash for Teacher. Now, please recall that there is an AMT in the lobby, and feel free to take advantage of this wonderful opportunity, and if of course you do not feel empowered enough to dig up some of the good stuff for Teacher, our friendly attendants will lead you to the Firewalk of Burnt Soles. You can recognize our attendants easily, they are the congenial people you see waving the cattle prods and tasers. So, let’s all try a bit harder, to reach deeeep down…."

Problem is, I don’t have the hair style for it.

More good news, and hope, from North Korea, a place sorely in need of both:: here:::
If Burma can reform, North Korea can, too! I hope.

周口店、頤和園之後，我們下個目標是雍和宮。我去過一次。十七年前，補習班派幾個人到大陸看看市場~~我、莫老師、王老師、還有兩個職員，阮小姐與李小姐，由副總裁帶隊；我們到北京，參觀教學、與老師交流；我們拜訪北京大學讓我印象最深刻的是高幹：男高幹：侃侃地給我們解釋化妝的文化、對女性的重要等等，當時我想，休想要偉大廣大勞動人民回到公社穿毛裝，那個時代絕對不再！大王毛主席駕崩了，消費文化萬歲、萬萬歲！

我們扗北京也去了長城、頤和園、雍和宮還有其它名勝。回臺後不久，阮、李小姐離職，王老師退休了，與同行同事多年不見。

這次到北京，我一定要再到雍和宮，就是一九五零年代達賴喇嘛與班禪喇嘛同時登座說法的地方，至今氣場殊勝、印象深刻，所以想與阿超一起看看。

現在雍和宮與十七年前最大的不同，一、好幾位喇嘛常住；二、很多志工，其中有藏人；三、裏面賣平安福、香等；四、我印象中，上次去沒有咒輪，現在很多座，眾人轉咒輪降福；五、現在很多當地人來雍和宮拜佛。看得出來，他們不習慣拜、不知道如何拜，但虔誠心隨著裊裊芳香上升入天。不怕他們動作僵硬、不怕他們不太會禮佛、不怕他們心裏求的是金銀珠寶，他們想要到雍和宮、見了佛、浸潤于佛境，種下了籽，已經走上了解脫之道，跨出大步了，將來因緣成熟，必然大有成就。

且說：現在環境允許他們到佛寺上香，很了不起！老毛時代，偉大無產階級若想要拜佛，就送上西天見佛去吧！

其實，這天我們本來要到孔廟，但因為我們發現孔廟隔壁是雍和宮，加上剛好我們穿的是中文+藏文的上衣(這件上衣有個中文「喜」字，並嵌藏文字)，好吧，我們臨時決定先到雍和宮。

進去讚揚佛、道場莊嚴，同時也有一批出家人來臨：顯宗的，明顯是內地比丘，不是臺灣出家人；因為他們來，一位大喇嘛接待。

我們走過喇嘛身旁，聽到他一聲：「你們兩個轉過去站好。」他看到了我們的上衣，我們解釋由來。喇嘛說，藏文也是喜字。剛好，我站在那跟他講的時候，我看到阮小姐走過來~~就是十七年前一起拜訪雍和宮、多年不見的昔日同事阮小姐，剛好她遊大陸到了北京，帶她女兒來雍和宮。

我第二次來雍和宮；發現十幾年來，阮小姐常到北京，但也是她第二次來雍和宮。因緣果然殊勝！

This was my second trip to Beijing. My first was about seventeen years ago, when Merica, the cram school where I teach, sent a contingent of us to check out the market there. Professors Mo and Wang and I went, along with staff members Ms L and Ms J, under the intrepid leadership of our Vice CEO. In Beijing, we visited schools and talked with teachers. I have a very strong memory of Peking University, where a high ranking party cadre lectured us on the culture of cosmetology and the importance of makeup. Ding dong, Emperor Mao is dead, long live the consumer culture! People aren't going back to Mao suits and communes again.

We also saw some sights, including the Yungho Temple, an impressive lamasery supported by the Ching dynasty emperors (the situation in Tibet is far more perplexing than it appears, as Tibet asked for Chinese protection in dynastic times, and so forth.)

After our return, eventually Professor Wang retired, Ms L and Ms J wandered off to other jobs, and we lost track of each other. But on my second trip to Beijing, this June, I wanted to take Chao to visit the temple.

Actually, the day we went, we were headed for the Confucius Temple. We realized it was right around the corner, and, as we happened to be wearing T shirts with both Chinese and Tibetan on them, on the spur of the moment we decided to go to the Yungho Temple first.

I noticed several great differences this time, compared to the early 1990s. First, there are now many lamas at the temple. Second, there are a lot of volunteers working there, many Tibetan. Third, inside the temple are kiosks selling charms, incense, and other religious objects. Fourth, I don't recall seeing mantra wheels last time, but now there are a lot, spun vigorously and often by the crowds. Fifth, many locals were burning incense and bowing to the Buddhas. You could tell that they were new to this, but no matter how clumsy their efforts, it's a good start. Especially when you consider that a few decades ago, wanting to pay respects to a Buddha would have been enough to get you shot.

As it happened, there was a group of Mahayana monks visiting, so a head lama came to guide them around. As we passed the lama, he called out, "You two, stop right there and turn around." He had noticed the juxtaposition of Tibetan and Chinese on our shirts. We explained that they come from a Tantric group in Taiwan. As we stood there, who should come walking along but Ms J, the former Merica employee who had been along the last time I went to the Yungho Temple! We hadn't seen each other for many years. It turns out that she was traveling around mainland China, came to Beijing, and just happened to come to the Yungho Temple, and although she has been in Beijing many times since our last visit, this too was only her second visit to the Yongho Temple. If you ask me, that is a pretty impressive coincidence. Or not.

我們到北京，大家說，「下大雨！」困惑：這是小雨。至少，依臺灣的習慣，會說，下一點小雨。山上的人大概懶得撐傘。

到北京的前一週看氣象報告，吃驚！三十七度！三十六度！媽呀怎麼辦？托雨福，那幾天像臺灣的秋天。即使後來出大太陽，也許是緯度的關係，沒有臺灣的太陽那麼毒。

In Beijing, we were confused when people told us it was "raining hard." By Taiwan standards, that was a light sprinkle, and people in the mountains wouldn't even bother with an umbrella.

When it rained, the temperature felt like fall in Taiwan. Even though the stuff shone brightly our last couple of days, the rays were gentler than in Taiwan.

一直認為，百年後，蔣中正的地位將冉冉升愈。他非常符合華夏文化崇敬的一種悲劇英雄的典型；為臺灣同胞求命，不許美軍襲擊臺灣；鐵血駻衛國家、日本投降時寬弘大量將日本兵遷送回國；大義滅親，為國將愛子委質于蘇聯、任其盡受委屈；勦毛鬥朱，疲于奔命；效忠孫中山的三民主義、中華民國，其忠心不渝，從未想改朝換代；明知大陸不可能反攻，而「知其不可為而為之」；扗臺保衛中華文化，失之不滅于文化大革命；留守臺灣，不求安逸于海外；老不著西服，非戎衣則長袍馬褂；壽終正寢于臺灣而終不得返歸家鄉，這是可歌可誦的悲劇人生。身為佛弟子，卻為拉攏美援而受洗；剛柔並施、正邪通吃、他的個性多面、複雜、難測。

想：蔣、毛、周恩來、杜月笙、朱德、彭德懷、林彪、劉伯承，一群極為傳奇的人物，只等著五百年後，羅貫中轉生，寫一部『民國演義』，必定垂名千古。

想：蔣，像不像劉備？毛，像不像曹操？

如今中國前進迅速。因為改革、進步，所以不需墨守黨規，因而他們用心檢討歷史。我們扗北京，聽他們說，「我們以前學的是說老毛打日本鬼子，我們現在知道，這是胡說八道；抗戰時都是蔣介石去打日本人，老毛翹二郎腿，任日本軍去殺同胞，出動的話，頂多只是小規模的遊擊，如此而已。」

I have long suspected that Chiang Kai-Shek will be remembered much more kindly by future generations. He fits the Chinese ideal of the tragic hero to perfection. He is being reevaluated on both sides of the Taiwan Strait. Even still, I was a bit surprised by what I heard in Beijing. People told me, "In school we were taught that during WWII, Old Mao fought off the Japanese imperialists all by himself. Now we know that's nonsense. Chiang Kai Shek did all the fighting, while Old Mao sat back to let the Japanese kill Chinese, and if he did any fighting, at most it was minor guerilla skirmishes."

overheard in Beijing

遊北京
臺胞甲：哇你看，無拒台素食超市，很有境界！
乙看： 妳是不是想到六祖惠能跟神秀，明鏡亦非臺，本來無一物？
甲： 是啊！
乙： 很不好意思….

無櫃檯素食超市

Viva la France!

Today we celebrate Bastille Day with several relevant quotes.
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." - General George S. Patton.
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion." - Norman Schwartzkopf.
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." Marge Simpson
"As far as I’m concerned, war always means failure" - Jacques Chirac, President of France
"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." Regis Philbin.

我們計畫北京行時，我想，到北京要看啥？要到北京就看北京人！房山離市中心不算太遠，主意一定，先email跟客棧安排。我們到京第二天就包車去。

早上，司機高師傅到了客棧，我們上車，但高師傅先不發車。「你們要到哪兒？」奇怪，客棧沒跟他說嗎？「我們要去周口店。」「周口店？」「是啊，我們想去周口店。」他想一想。「要不要去長城？」「不是，我們想去周口店。」「長城去過嗎？」「我們都去過，所以這次我們想到周口店看一看。」「好吧…怎麼去？」才知道租車公司忘了跟他說我們要去哪。(故意的嗎？)他沒去過，他打電話問很多司機，都沒去過，所以最後只好打電話問周口店地方政府，問清楚了，我們就上路了。高師傅說，「很少人到周口店。」我也有這種感覺。他自己也沒去過，所以我們說，好啊，也給你玩個新地方。

北京塞車，又下小雨，離開了市區，雨也停了。又開了一小時左右，到了周口店遺址。這就是馳名中外的世界重要的攷古遺址，因為就在這個地方，就在這個小山丘，五、六十萬年前的北京人當鬣狗、劔齒虎的餐點，留下很多啃過的碎骨，造福後代的攷古學者。

當時我們的祖先是直立人，男性成年平均身高一百五十六公分、女性一百四十四公分，頭腦比我們現在人的小很多，能做石器、能用火、有基本語言能力(能發幾個基本音，講單字不能講句子，大概不能表達複雜概念，語言能力大約相當于現在補習班裏大學生的英語能力)，很會爬樹：爬樹技術差的，委託鬣狗、劔齒虎將基因淘汰掉。

遺址有許多栩栩如生的野獸塑像，看到第一個真有點驚訝，因為很像是真的！只有北京人的塑像不照真實尺寸，反而都一百八十幾公分！或許主辦單位攷慮自尊，不得把祖先顯得矮小，但我認為，那麼個小不溜丟的還能與恐怖獵食動物共存，實在了不起！

臺南，在臺灣有人說是「古都」，才三四百年；周朝的冀、燕就是今天的北京：三千年。龍山文化的河南登封市的排水已經做的比今天的Boston好：四千年。山東濟南大概有七千年的歷史。了不起！

不要小看那些矮矮、頭腦不發達、不會用手機的北京人：他們在周口店住了二十萬年！

www.zkd.cn

Since we were going to Beijing, we laid plans: what did we really want to see? The Peking Man (Beijing Man) World Heritage Site at Chouk'outien (Zhoukoudian, CKT for convenience, unless you insist on ZKD) popped into mind, so we arranged for a car and driver to take us there on the second day of our stay.

Our driver, Mr Gao, led us to the car, got in, and asked, "Where is it you want to go?" Funny, didn't the hotel tell him? "We want to go to CKT." He mulled. "Would you like to go to the Great Wall?" "No, we want to go to CKT." "Have you been to the Great Wall?" "Yes, we've been there before, so this time we'd like to go to CKT to take a look." "Okay… how do we get there?" Apparently most tourists don't go to the Beijing Man Heritage Site, because Mr Gao didn't know how to get there, and phoning around showed that none of the other drivers did, either. No wonder the hotel didn't inform him ahead of time about our destination.
Finally Mr Gao phoned the local authorities at CKT and got directions. We worked our way through morning traffic and a light rain. An hour after we left downtown, we reached the fabled site, one of the most important archaeological sites in the world, where five and six hundred thousand years ago, primitive man proved that they could not outrun hyenas or saber tooth tigers, leaving behind gnawed bones to enrich our knowledge and provide material for generations of dissertations and theses.
These early humans, homo erectus, had smaller brains that ours, rudimentary language skills, could make stone tools, used fire, and the ones who could not swiftly climb trees got their genes eliminated by several species of large carnivores. The men averaged 156cm, the women 144cm, short by modern standards.
In various spots of the Site are statues of the wildlife the Peking Men lived with. They are so lifelike that they are startling. They are done to scale –except for the Peking Men, who are all about six feet tall. I suspect the authorities considered it a matter of pride, dignity, or face not to have a bunch of these little hominids scampering around our heritage. But consider that these little hominids survived life with cave bears and saber tooth tigers: very impressive, more impressive than if they had been gladiator size.
London is considered an old city: it dates back to Roman times. Four thousand years ago in Dengfeng city (Honan) the drains and sewer pipes worked better than modern Boston's. Jinan in Shandong has been inhabited for seven thousand years: ancient!
Yet those runty little hominids with their primitive tools and simple brains, lacking cell phones and flush toilets, lived in CKT for two hundred thousand years.

有個想法，也許有人認為古怪詭譎，但我認為旅遊時應該嘗嘗當地風格。若到北京住了五星級大飯店，有它的舒適，但不是道地的北京味：地道的北京味兒。所以我們選了衚衕裏的客棧，住了東城區禮士胡同的小院客棧。
小院客棧就是將舊房子翻新，所以還保存原來的格局。房間裏是舊式雕琢木床~看起來像櫸木，頭上有框架，四邊包起來的硬木板床，好舒服！我最怕飯店的軟床，睡幾天好像被腰斬。
客棧有兩個特點：其一，我們的房間很暗，燈不夠。我們請服務員來看有沒有辦法裝個燈，他進來轉了兩下，說，「沒辦法。」好吧，暗就暗。

其二，廁所沒鏡子。頭髮不梳就算了，可是刮鬍時戰戰兢兢，手持利刃，很怕割喉嚨。

增添很多趣味，住一般飯店沒有這種經驗吧！

Some people may think this is a strange idea, but I think that if you travel, you ought to see what that place is like. I'd rather not stay in a 5 star hotel, because they're all alike, wherever you go. You get pampered, but if it's not a business trip, why not see something?

For our stay in Beijing, we opted for a small inn in an alley, named the Xiao Yuan Alley Courtyard Hotel. To give you an idea, when we arrived, the previous guest had just left, and it took three maids an hour to make up the room. We are not talking about hustle-bustle-at-your-service-Master. But it is pleasant, the location is good, staying in a hutung / alley gives you a different view of Beijing, and overall we enjoyed it greatly.

Of course, more is up to the observer than to the environment. The Hotel has a small(Western style) bar + restaurant. A young French couple spent most of their stay in Beijing in the restaurant playing board games with a young American. Well, after traveling all that distance, you wouldn't want to go outside and see anything, would you!?

For the first time since about last November, the ground around our house is drying out. There are even stars out.

扗北京看到很多招牌寫老北京：老北京炸醬麵、老北京燒餅、老北京布鞋、老北京香鋪等等。何謂老北京，也不太清楚，但應該是抗戰以前、毛建國以前、文革以前的往日：民國初年、清朝末年。

可見，人民想認識、品嚐、掏選、履行以前的傳統，知道傳統蘊含很多寶。寶，不一定是輝煌的宮廷、了不起的金銀琉璃；小到一個燒餅、剖木技巧，都是生活中的寶。

文革時破四舊，若提出甚麼老北京，肯定被批鬥、送勞改、不得翻身。幸虧，那段日子過了。願永不復返。

In Beijing, you see a lot of signs and stores that say Old Beijing: Old Beijing Noodles, Old Beijing Incense, what have you. Exactly what Old Beijing implies is not quite clear, but probably the times before WWII, Mao's takeover, and the Cultural Revolution: the early days of the Republic and the last days of the Empire.

During the Cultural Revolution, espousing anything Old was suicidal, but now people are going back to their roots to see what might have been neglected. It is safe to do so now. In China, communism is a label used to keep the country from shaking itself into pieces. In practical life, communism and Maoism are long dead. Robust capitalism and forward seeking venture are the facts of life in China today. But the past is still cherished.

華航還有很拘泥、很不會變通。我想做一項科學實驗，結果被他們擋住了、不准。本來想牽一隻牛到北京看是不是還是牛，結果華航不給上機，說甚麼牛繫不了安全帶啊、牛塞不進頭上的櫃子啊、一大堆理由，就是不讓我把牛牽到北京。大家這麼沒有科學精神的話，怎麼會進步呢？

Our 華航 China Airlines flight took off from Taoyuan, Taiwan, flying direct to Beijing. Computers can be vexing, and can get out of control, but overall I love computers and the internet. On back of the seat in front of us was a small screen, on which you could see your location in real time. (Coming home was even better: there were two cameras, one showing the view below the plane, the other straight ahead.)

As we flew up the coast towards Shanghai, I pondered, I have seen some incredible changes in my lifetime. In November 1971, I took a boat from Taiwan to Hong Kong to procure my visa (round trip was US$40, about half the price of an air ticket). Aside from vomiting prolifically, my main amusement on the trip down the Taiwan Straits was watching the fishing boats from 福建 Fujian and 廣東 Kuangtung / Guangdong. Recall that 1971 was about halfway through 文革 the Cultural Revolution, AKA 十年大浩劫 the Enormous Ten Year Catastrophe. Mainland China was closed to the world, writhing in turmoil, and immersed in poverty. I could clearly see that their sails were patched and worn; they all used sail, and not a motor was to be heard. The fishing boats kept a good distance from us; they were a world away.

In those days, the idea of flying direct between Taiwan and Beijing was preposterous. Preposterous, that is, for a commercial flight, but the prospect of military flights, on hostile missions, seemed very probable. But to fly from Taiwan to Beijing on China Airlines, the flag bearer of the Republic of Taiwan, Taiwan? Absurd!

But these flights have been flying regularly for some years now, and sitting comfortably, eating my breakfast, I looked forward to seeing Beijing again. I've been once before, in 1993. Would the changes I see live up to what my friends have described?

My first reaction on landing was, is this one airport or six? Beijing Airport is gigantic, huge, immense, and so forth. In its day, Chiang Kai Shek Airport was probably the best in the Far East; now renamed Taoyuan Airport, it could just about fit inside one terminal on the BJ Airport.

We got off the plane and marched into the terminal, and what was the first sign to meet my eyes? STARBUCKS. You barely need to travel anymore. The next sign we saw was KFC. You could go around the world eating nothing but KFC and Mickey D, with stops in Starbucks. It'd probably make you sick, well deservedly sick, but it could be done.

Things improved quickly. Today's Beijing is overpowering. More on that later. Good night.

The monolith is finally starting to crack. Good luck to all in North Korea... and hope you are soon well fed, warmly clothed, and decently housed. Amitabha.

here

各位鄉親父老兄弟姐妹好！我們平安從北京回來了，心得一簍筐、感想堆積如山，請待我徐徐道來。
(加上：在王府井書店買到了蒙曼寫的「隋煬帝楊廣」)
簡單一句話：紐約、東京、芝加哥、香港、洛杉磯等等，我這輩子不再去也無所謂，但北京呢，意猶未盡。
尤其因為回家後，才發現我錯過一處非常迷人的場所：中國西瓜博物館。西瓜博物館的網站(here)說，佔地兩萬兩千平方公尺，建築面積四千六百平方公尺，館藏圖片九百幅、蠟質西瓜模型三百一十餘件、雕塑模型七組、書法美術藝術作品三十六件、還有十組青銅雕塑講述西瓜的故事。這個不看的話，真會成為終身遺憾！

We're back from Beijing. Put it this way: I took so many photos that I ruined my battery charger and had to rein myself in. There are about 1200 photos in my camera now. Only about 1200 photos.

I came back with a lot to ponder, but first, let me say, simply: if I never go to New York, Tokyo, Bangkok, Chicago, or Hong Kong again, that's fine with me. But Beijing is a city to visit.

Especially since after my return, I discovered I had missed one of Beijing's main attractions: the Chinese Watermelon Museum, which, according to its official website (here) boasts a collection including 900 pictures of watermelons, over 310 wax models of watermelons, seven sets of carvings, 36 works of calligraphy and art, and ten bronze statues narrating stories of watermelons. How could I have missed that!?

朝發軔于烏來兮
夕余至乎北京
鳳皇翼其承旂兮
高翱翔之翼翼
我們到北京。有人請阿超開四天的工作坊，我抬行李。北京美金，美金北京，北京是美金最多的地方。說不定我去哭他們的中央銀行，看會不會可憐可憐，分我一下。隨意~~~隨億。

We are headed for Beijing, where Chao is holding a four day Dance Therapy workshop. I'm tagging along to tote luggage. Thanks to Presidents Reagan, Bush, and Bush, Beijing has the world's largest collection of US Dollars. Maybe if I hang around their treasury looking pitiful, they'll give me some.

And remember, the jing in Beijing is pronounced like the jing in jingle.

at this very moment, millions of people are trying to stand an egg on end.

Taiwan was really lucky this time. We get lots of typhoons every summer, that's part of the charm of living in Taiwan: watching rain sweep horizontally like it's getting shot out of a fire hose. Typhoons come as early as about May and as late as about December, but mostly in August and September. No matter what, the very worst time to have a typhoon is at the new moon or full moon, because the springtides often cause tidal surges.

But typhoons come off the Pacific, from the East, and usually break on the high mountains (high: Botonguanu is 3952m) that run down the center of this island.

Rarely, one comes up the Taiwan Strait, from the west, and strikes the heavily populated western plains. This happens about once a decade, I'd guess, but these typhoons are rightly feared, because they usually wreak enormous damage.

The other day a typhoon formed off Hainan Island, of all places, and came up the Taiwan Strait. What's worse, it came on the new moon and the day after, when springtides occur, and cause the danger of tidal surges. Fortunately, it brought some rain, but not much, and very little wind. There was damage, of course, but nothing compared to what could have happened. We got off lightly. Amitabha.

理論上，大家都知道忠言逆耳。那麼，為甚麼消費者被廣告捧上天還相信呢？

Who said bass fishermen have more brains than the fish they catch?

The Tayal have a tradition of facial tattoos, which were an honored mark of valor and skill. This is the English version: NOT the way to do it!!

Favorite comment: He looks like he dipped his nose in a pot of paint.

the bitter truth, seen on a T shirt:

your parents lied to you
you aren't special
you're just stupid


 good speech, lousy delivery

Okay, so we didn't get a real good view of the Venus Transit: click::

But this will more than make up for it: click
or
click

昨天到中正堂國家戲劇院實驗劇場看「組合語言舞團」本年度公演，「首映會2.0」，編舞概念新鮮、舞者非常認真，表演很成功。若有機會，該看！

但今天的重點不扗此。表演前，我們覓食，但愛國東路靠中正堂，就是一排婚紗照相館，沒得吃。

誰說不景氣？婚紗開了那麼多家~~可是我想，花了大筆大筆錢拍婚紗，重點似乎扗于滿足一種虛榮心：幻想自己是大明星、攝影師拿很專業的相機拍照…但婚後，幾人看婚紗照？

我只聽過一個人事後說婚紗照好：友人說，她與先生鬧離婚的時候，全家裏最重的一本就是婚紗照的那一本，她說用那本K她老公，威力十足。

是啊。離婚率那麼高，為甚麼只有婚紗照？我想一想，要離婚的夫妻，應該拍混殺照。

混殺照，可以拍各種廝殺、互毆的相；臉面猙獰、眼露凶光、手上可以拿剪刀、石頭、磚塊、短刀長劍、矛戈枴戟、齊眉棍、紅纓槍、偃月刀、七節鞭、雙節棍、電擊棒、衝鋒鎗~當然都是道具、假的，目的是拍照，不是出人命。

這系列拍完，就換道具：第一是白布條，上面寫

財產

兩大字，各抓一端，拼命爭(攝影師拼命拍)。若能把布撕破，拿大塊的贏了，整個布條歸為所有。如果有孩子的話，就換一個娃娃(數量依實際生育情況而定)，夫拉娃娃左手左腳，妻扯娃娃右手右腳，拼命拉(攝影師拼命拍)。若能把娃娃撕裂，拿大塊的贏得了監護權。假如有其它爭端，以相同方法處理。

其實，拍到這裏，很可能夫妻已經發洩好了、磨出一些共識來了，不必離婚；但是，混殺攝影師的帳要全額付清。

如果決定還是要離婚，最後、最受歡迎的鏡頭來了！把先前拍的婚紗照拿出來，一張一張撕碎！也可以咬、擰、踩、甩、踏、摜，看有甚麼創意的點子，請盡情發揮！混殺攝影師會把這難忘的一刻做最真實的紀錄，讓您日後保存著許多美好的回憶。

然後，要記得，混殺攝影師的帳要全額付清。

西元四百年左右，南燕主慕容超有心腹名為
公孫五樓。


我就很好奇：假如公孫五樓先生有後嗣于今代，會不會取名
公孫電梯大廈？

An extraordinary event this morning! Not the transit of Venus itself, that happens regularly (every 8 years → 105.5 years → 8 years → 121.5 years, ho hum). What was astonishing was that we had clear skies! For over an hour! and during this壬辰水龍年year of the water dragon, AKA the Year the Mold. I mean, come on, the glass in the windows is getting moldy!

The hard and fast rule is that any time there is an astronomical event worth watching, if it doesn’t rain in Wulai, there's thick cloud cover. But today was different. The transit started around 6AM and continued to noon. Around 10, the sky cleared enough for the sun to shine. I rushed out with my paper drilled with holes to observe the light cast onto a dark background, and sure enough! you could very clearly see the light cast through holes drilled in paper onto a dark background! But the thing is, I knew that it was happening, and we actually had clear skies. Until eleven.

Eventually I found a way to observe the event very clearly.

With best wishes to Captain Cook.

前幾天早上，剛好看外面，兩隻樹鵲追逐一隻隼。離家很近，才扗屋簷外一丈。隼飛的不快，正好讓樹鵲追不上：好了，好了，知道冒犯了，我走了。

A surprising scene the other morning. I happened to look out the window, and just outside our awnings, two tkrat (Himalayan tree pies, Dendrocitta formosae) were chasing a hawk. The hawk was flying fast enough to stay out of reach, slow enough to maintain dignity: okay, all right, I'm leaving.

一個問題我想了很久：我扗山上遇到煙槍，還沒見到人，先聞到體臭：扗山上，煙槍身上的臭味，五、六十公尺外都聞得到。百年前的達彥部落，人手一煙斗。或許有驅蚊效果，所以老少男女皆有。我很困惑，以前的人到底怎麼狩獵？還沒靠近獵物，臭味早已把牠嚇跑了。尤其，百年前的達彥很多還用弓箭，未必有鎗，而鎗的威力也不大，射不遠。

後來，我想到另一層關係：如鄒族lema'cohio Apu'u Peongsi所說，「'E cou ne o'amocu moso la yaa tamaku 'o momhino ta fuengu, moso la na'no sino iachi emʉm'ʉ to tamaku 'ola mici etamaku, a'vinano emʉ'a to aukukuyungu to emoo. Ho lac'u mameoi 'ola emu'a ci tamaku, tanac'u teoca ho taskufneni to pupuzu ho aopopoha'va taemi'ma hoci o'te poezi, ho poa oemi'mia, tenac'u peela etamakua: 鄒族人過去山裏的店裏沒有買賣菸時，想抽菸的人都會自己種植菸草，並種植扗家周圍。種的菸草長熟了，就會被砍了然後扗火上慢慢烤乾，或者扗太陽下曬乾，才能用來抽菸。」

從前，菸酒公賣局也是用古老、傳統、不合經濟效益的方法把菸草烤乾。因此，六十年代、七十年代，臺灣抽菸的人得癌率是世界最低的；而且，走扗路上，幾十步外有人抽洋菸就聞得出來，因為味道與臺灣菸截然不同。

到了七十年代，這個情況改了，主要有兩個原因。一則敝國雷根總統強迫臺灣進口美國的菸酒，否則把臺灣經濟毀了，所以公賣局的市場被入侵了。一則無黨籍(現在的綠營)猛抨擊公賣局的做法太傳統、太不合經濟效益。雙管齊下，公賣局只好用現代化的方式製菸，所以現扗臺灣抽菸的人死于癌症、死于心臟病的機率已與世界接軌了。這是雷根與綠營重大的政績。

總而言之，我想或許因為以前原住民的菸非自製則買公賣局不合經濟效益的菸草~~記得芙蓉牌菸草嗎？~~所以體味不嚇獵物；如今，社會進步帶來了經濟效率高、死亡率高的菸草，所以煙槍的體味那麼重。

今天是六三禁煙節。願：天下所有抽菸的人拿出勇氣、拿出魄力，改掉這個噁心、摧殘自己身體的習慣，爭取自由。加油！

Something that has often puzzled me. In the mountains, you can smell a smoker long before you see him; the stench of a smoker's body can be smelled from well over fifty meters away. A hundred years ago, every Dayan (Tayal) smoked a pipe, all the time, young and old, male and female (perhaps to help keep mosquitoes away). How on earth could they hunt? Many Dayan still hunted with bow and arrow, and firearms had limited range. Prey would smell them from a good distance, so how could the hunter get close?

Recently, I thought of another aspect. In the words of lema'cohio Apu'u Peongsi of the Tsou (Cou) tribe, "The Tsou in the days before stores sold tobacco in the mountains, those who wanted to smoke would grow their own tobacco, often right near their houses. When the tobacco was ripe, it would be chopped down and slowly roasted over a fire, or dried in the sunlight, and then be used for smoking."

The Taiwan Tobacco and Wine Monopoly Bureau used to produce cigarettes by outdated, traditional, economically inefficient methods. Therefore, in the 1970s and 1980s, smokers in Taiwan had the world's lowest incidence of cancer (among smokers). When you walked down the street in those days, if someone halfway down the block was smoking an imported cigarette, you could tell, because they smelled a lot different from locally produced cigarettes.

In the 1980s, this situation changed for two main reasons. First, President Reagan forced the government here to import American liquor and tobacco, under threat of destroying the economy otherwise. The Monopoly Bureau's monopoly was broken. Second, the fledgling opposition (forerunners of today's DPP), in their quest to oppose everything the government did, jumped on the economically inefficient methods used by the Bureau to process tobacco. Faced with these pressures, the Bureau had no choice but to update their methods, processing tobacco chemically, so now smokers in Taiwan enjoy death from cancer and heart disease as high as global standards. These are important contributions by Reagan and the opposition.

So what I think is, a hundred years ago, the tobacco aborigines smoked or bought was not chemically produced, so it did not produce such a stench in the pores of the smokers, but now, social progress makes all smokers reek.

Today is Non-Smoking Day, in commemoration of Lin Tzehsu's heroic efforts to combat the most vicious drug cartel in history, the British government (click). My wish is that all smokers everywhere may pull up their courage and determination and free themselves from this disgusting, debilitating habit. Good luck.

臺灣很多彌足珍貴的傳統面臨絕跡；所幸，幾年來，政府重視此問題，也設法延續臺灣特有的技藝。

這兩天，行政院文建會贊助製造口簧琴的工作坊。口簧琴，達彥(泰雅)謂虜布，是很多原住民共有的樂器，但是達彥彈的最好聽；在達彥的傳統，佔重要地位，但現代人多不會彈，更不用說製造。因此，延請民族學專家鄭光博協助將這項技藝傳回部落去。

Taiwan is home to ancient traditions that are in danger of disappearing. Fortunately, in the last several years, the government has been taking a hand in helping preserve ancient arts and crafts.

Friday and Saturday, the governmental Council for Cultural Affairs hosted a workshop to teach how to make the lubu, the Dayan (Tayal) jaw harp. Although this plays an important part in Dayan life and traditions, most Dayan today do not know how to play one, much less make one. The Council invited the noted ethnologist, lewin Watan Kahat, to help spread this tradition back to the tribal villages.

我沒參加，但光博送我兩隻虜布：一個是最古老的款式，用一片竹製成；另一隻為改良品，用銅簧。

I was unable to take part in the workshop, but lewin Watan gave me two lubu, one of the old style, made from one piece of bamboo, and the other with a bronze reed. Twang twang twang.

next time, go for the golfer.

解謎：link

謎底：
人各有志。

不了？
請按：link

Mounting a saw handle

以前的人買鋸子，通常沒有柄，要自己裝。傳統安柄方法，幾成絕響。

我常用的鋸子(click)，柄有點鬆，所以上次在新店光明街老五金行隨便問，「有沒有沒有裝柄的鋸子？」老闆說，「沒有，」但同時，他媽媽說，「有。」老闆看老太太，她從櫃子旁邊掀開一塊油布，拿出兩隻無柄鋸。老闆說，「我怎麼不知道有這個？」

老太太說，「現在很少人用這種鋸子，都用鍊鋸。這兩把已經在這裏放了三十年吧。我們這家店已經開了六十年。」本來不需要這麼大的，可是看它漂亮，就花了四百元買了。

以前的人找一節江冇(亦名鵝掌柴、鴨腳木、江某)，因為江冇木心是空的，把鋸子慢慢敲進去，然後削木頭，適合自己的手。

幾十年前，阿超的祖父在雙溪鄉做木屐，江冇也是製木屐的上好材料，所以我趁我們到祖厝的機會，選了一株江冇。現在就需耐心地敲敲敲，把鋸子柄安好。很好聽吧。

Decades ago, timber saws did not come with handles. Now nobody uses handsaws anymore, so the craft of affixing a handle to a saw has almost been forgotten.

The handle on the saw I use most often is a bit loose (more on that saw here), so when I went to an old hardware store to buy something, I asked, "Do you have any saws without handles?" The boss said, "No," but at the same time, his mother, sitting nearby, said, "Yes." He looked at her. She rummaged by an old cabinet and came up with two old saw blades. Her son said, "I didn't know those were there." The old lady said, "Nobody uses handsaws any more, so there's no demand for these. These two saw blades have been there for about thirty years. This hardware store has been in business for sixty years." I didn't really need such a large saw blade, but I couldn't pass up this chance. I chose one and bought it for NT$400, about US$12 or so.

The old way of affixing a handle was to use the wood of a tree called s'bwan in Dayan (Tayal，泰雅語), scientific name Schefflera octophylla; Google informs me the English name is the ivy tree. The heart of the s'bwan is soft, hollow, so you ram the saw blade into that, and then carve the handle to fit your hand. They say the handle never comes loose. And the saw makes a nice sound while you're ramming it in.

Huh?? what's that you say?

The moment it was announced, I knew this would happen. Early morning, May 21, a partial solar eclipse would be visible, the announcement said, to which I automatically – the voice of experience speaking here – added, visible only behind a thick layer of clouds.

At least the rain stopped for the first time since Friday. Here you see an actual photo of the solar eclipse taking place behind all those clouds.

Here’s a tip for predicting the weather in Wulai: any time a solar eclipse, lunar eclipse, meteor shower, what have you is announced, there is a 90% chance of clouds, and probably rain.

(not absolutely: sometimes we get lucky: click::)

很奇怪的組合。



二月時，弓人卓漢卿老師送我一隻韘，我改用拇指引弓弦:點:。射了一段時間，有人勸我從弓裏射；是比較好控制，但矢往右邊飛。

雖然要習慣，但喜歡拇指射，勝過三指射。三指射，感覺是「放」箭，而拇指射是「開」。

但韘會咬拇，所以我後來索性捨韘，用拇指引弦，感覺更好。好比說，用韘，像穿登山鞋爬山：不必擔心踩到荊刺，但與山土隔絕。我平常爬山打赤腳，因為赤腳才知道土石草蕨堅軟乾濕冷熱滑澀等等種種情形；如今要我穿鞋爬山，可能不太能走。上次試穿登山鞋爬山，幾乎不能走。

而三指射，好比留在鋪好的登山道上，沒有真正踏到山。

In February, I switched to shooting with a thumb ring :click: I was advised to shoot with a thumb ring from the inside of the bow, which makes sense, but I have practically had to learn all over how to aim. The arrows flew way off to the right of the target. But overall, I much prefer the thumb grip to the Mediterranean pull, because it puts you in closer connection with the bow and arrow.

But the thumb ring was wearing a hole in my thumb, so I just took it off to shoot with my bare thumb. This is even better. Here is the best I can explain it: using a thumb ring to shoot is like hiking in shoes or boots. You can trample over thorns with impunity, but you are out of touch with the mountain. I generally hike barefoot, because… okay, because I’m perverse, but barefoot, you know exactly where you are and the texture underfoot. Click here for the last time I tried to wear hiking boots on the mountain.

So shooting off the thumb is like hiking barefoot. And shooting three fingered is like hiking on carefully prepared paths, rather than striking off across the mountain.

Post 2222!

Sunday Schools teach that to God ~~ the god of the Bible, whatever you want to call him, God, God the Father, the triune god, Jehovah, Yahweh, as you please ~~ to god a thousand years is but a blink of an eye.

The Old Testament winds up in about the 5th century BCE, and the New Testament begins, of course, around the 1st century CE. We were also taught that god is love, god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, and so forth.

According to biblical scholar Raymund Schwager, the Hebrew bible contains "approximately one thousand verses in which Yahweh himself appears as the direct executioner of violent punishments… in over one hundred other passages Yahweh expressly gives the command to kill people."

So in the blink of an eye, god goes from a maniacal serial killer to a loving father?

Okay, maybe not maniacal, but if you consider the Old Testament spans about five hundred years, a thousand instances would be only twice a year, not too rabid. But consistent.

We've come a long way since "We are not amused." But is it up?

吃肉的朋友們，要了解，每吃一口肉，就是贊助這種事。
If you eat meat, you are supporting suffering.
click

Here is a song I love, a beautiful traditional song from the Amis, an aboriginal tribe on the east coast of Taiwan. This is performed by Gageng, a group dedicated to promoting Amis music and culture. Lyrics, Chinese, and English translations follow.

O 'Amis hananay a tamdaw   
   阿美族的人呢  
   People of the Amis tribe
Sahtoay O Komeceday.   
   都是 個 很溫和  
   Are all easy-going and mild
O ci 'icelay Ko tatirengan.
   又是體魄強壯的人
   Amis are strong and energetic.
O komaenay to tatokem ato Sama'
   是愛吃龍葵等野菜 
   and love to eat nightshade* and other wild vegetables.
awaay Ko sasowalen to 'Amis.
   好得無比的人 
   They are wonderful people 
Aka tawalen no mita ko liteng liteng. 
   我們絕對不能忘本(祖先)
   We cannot forget our roots (ancestors)
O mipahafayay. To 'orip no mita. 
   他們的努力供應我們的生命
   Their hard work gave us our lives. 



O 'Amis hananay a tamdaw
   阿美族的人呢
   People of the Amis tribe
Sahtoay o matayalay.
   都是務農 
   are all agricultural.
Misasota'ay ko 'orip no mita . 
   我們在泥巴上殷勤耕作的人
   We are people who toil and plow in muddy fields.
oni o omah no liteng liteng.
   先人留下的這些農地
   Our ancestors left us these fields
Tadoan nomita o rarem.
   留給我們後人承受
   They left them for us to inherit.
Akatawalen no mita ko liteng liteng .
   我們絕對不能忘本(祖先)
   We cannot forget our roots (ancestors)
O mipamatangay to omah no mita.
   是他們幫我們開山墾地
   They are the ones who first cultivated these mountains and fields.


FYR: the Amis are noted singers and dancers. CK Yang, the "Iron Man of Asia" who dominated track and field in the 1950s, was also Amis.
* Nightshade (龍葵、黑籽仔菜、Tayal: wasiq; Tsou: mici; scientific name solanum nigrum) is a close relative of belladonna, feared in the West as a deadly poison. In the Chinese world it is a delightful vegetable with delicious berries, especially loved by Taiwan aborigines. For more on aborigines and nightshade: here::
More about the Gageng (Kakeng): here

quick ~ how many people are riding this motorcycle?

Science continues to inform and surprise. If you have spent sleepless nights trying to figure out why some Solomon Islanders have black skin and blond hair, prepare for a good night's sleep, because the answer has been found: a single gene mutation. Click here….

Overheard in the jungle

「好久沒見到你，你去哪裏？」
「我到祖國去玩。很棒！」
「去哪些地方？」
「很多！北京、上海、雲南…」
「還去雲南！雲南哪裏？」
「到瀘沽湖，很美！」
「哪裏？」
「瀘沽湖。」
「瀘沽湖？沒聽過。怎麼寫？」
「瀘，就是三點水一個盧，上面有老虎的盧。」
「那沽呢？」
「三點水、古、月。」
「三點水、古、月，那不是湖嗎？」
「是啊。」
「瀘湖湖？」
「不是瀘湖湖，是瀘沽湖。」
「瀘沽湖，怎麼寫？」
「三點水、古、月。」
「三點水、古、月，又是湖。」
「是湖啊！是瀘沽湖，好多水，當然是湖。」
「沽怎麼寫？」
「三點水、一個古。」
「啊，沽，不是湖。」
「是湖，是瀘沽湖！」
「那你上海去哪些地方？」