今天下午到八德路參加阿超的藝專同學會，過微風廣場時，101上有彩虹。A rainbow appeared over Taipei 101 this afternoon. Plus birds.

Scientists have discovered that a giant rat in Africa kills with its poisonous hair. here:::

giant rats with poisonous hair.... sounds like the audience at a Country Western concert.

剛從桃園少年輔育院三天的成長營回來。

感謝宗聖讓我們住他家；他的無私的布施讓我們來回住宿省了非常多的體力，讓我們投入更多心血輔導這群誤入歧途的少年。

We just got back from a three day Growth Workshop at the Taoyuan Reformatory. Many thanks to Arthur Chang for generously allowing us to stay in his apartment, which saved us a great deal of time and energy commuting. We were better able to offer assistance to these misguided youth.

前不久到淡水，停紅燈，一個摩門傳教小弟騎車來請前車的人搖下窗，便開始傳教。我個人認為超過。等燈八十幾秒，你能傳多少教義？人家等紅燈也沒得逃，除非違規開車。我們當然感到很僥倖，希望他不要注意到我們的車。但他這樣與其說「傳教」，不如說「騷擾」。

IMHO, this is going too far. We were stopped at a traffic light. A Mormon missionary pedaled over, motioned for the people in the car in front to roll down their window, and started proselytizing. Are you going to convert someone to your faith in the 80 odd seconds until the light changes? We were stuck at the red light, so the car ahead couldn’t have gotten away without breaking a traffic law. This is more harassment than an expression of religious belief.

But meanwhile, we sank down in our seats and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible.

禮記曲禮上：「鸚鵡能言，不離飛鳥；猩猩能言，不離禽獸。」原來如此。

A very interesting article here:: gibbons found in Viet Nam.

I think this is a really lame way to spell lamb. What do you think?

~~~design on cloth spotted in 迪化街永樂市場

If you park your car in the same place, there may be ugly grease stains on the pavement. How can you remove them? Easy! Apply Coca Cola to get rid of them.

Just apply Coca Cola to get rid of the corrosion from car batteries.

A friend told me that when he was in the Navy, ships in dry dock would have thick coats of rust from years of immersion in salt water. The only way to remove it was by applying Coca Cola.

In Taiwan, butchers use Coca Cola to clean pigs' intestines.

and some people actually drink this stuff?

This is from strangecosmos.com to give us all a bitter laugh.

* The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing ‘Sponsor an American Child’ commercials!

* The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words.

* The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.

* The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, “This is a robbery!”

*The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU.

* The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.

* The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.

* The economy is so bad, that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

* The economy is so bad, that when I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

* The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds,” you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

* The economy is so bad, parents in Beverly Hills have fired their nannies and learned their children's names.

* The economy is so bad, a truckload of Americans were caught sneaking into Mexico.

* The economy is so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen

Yumin and Byajing thought there was something hiding in an abandoned pipe in a nearby ravine. At one point, Yumin was chewing the pipe. That's a mouthful!

The other day a monkey paid us a visit.

Little that I know about math, this makes sense to me.

pi and tau

Yesterday Yumin's barking called my attention to a 青蛇/Green Snake (cyclophiops major) going about its business peaceably.

This is a non-venomous snake. Some people scream and panic at the sight of any snake, but even poisonous snakes have better things to do than bite you. Keep a distance and don't make trouble. If you can conquer your fear, you can enjoy the beauty of these magical creatures.

Yumin barked at the little neighbor. Eventually it overextended and fell back to where it started from. I had to leave, so I prodded it to safety in a ditch, away from the road.

貔

貅

五代亂世，難得後周明君。太祖本姓常，母改嫁郭氏，故姓郭，名威。頸文雀，故號郭雀兒。唐莊宗崩，明宗出其宮人各歸家。嬪有柴氏者，歸家時于塗遇郭威，柴氏問，此何人？曰，郭雀兒。柴識為非常人，隨以貲半與父母，半以嫁雀兒，資其進身。雀兒即位為周太祖，但柴氏已歿。太祖欲立嗣，然其子全為後漢劉承祐所殺。念柴氏之恩慧，故立其兄之子柴榮為太子，後立為周世宗。

史載世宗「器貌英奇，善騎射，略通書史黃老，性沉重寡言」。九五四年即位，遂下令招撫流亡，減少賦稅，恢復中原經濟。戰火連連，民苦不堪，故世宗整頓吏治，政治清明，百姓富庶，經濟開始繁榮。

商賈缺貨幣，銅材亦匱乏，故周世宗下令毀佛鑄錢，曰，「釋迦舍身飼虎，以身世為輕，以利和為急，使其真身尚在，敬利于世，猶欲割截，豈有所惜哉！」

「周元通寶」始鑄于周世宗顯德二年（公元九五五年），于五代銅錢中，鑄行最多、質量最好。但因為以法器造，故民多不肯流通，卻留為護身。

書影云，產婦手握此錢，卻瘧利產，可治難產；秋燈叢話曰，清順治初孝感多病症，或于古錢幣中檢周元通寶一文，持之即癒，遠近宣傳，每文值一緡。

The tenth century was one of the most chaotic times in Chinese history. Ch'ai Jung, who ascended to the throne of the Later Chou as Shih Tsung, was one of the few reasonable rulers. To stimulate the economy, he reduced taxes and improved the administration. To encourage trade, in 955 AD, he took bronze statues and implements from Buddhist temples, and melted them down for currency.

Because the coins were made from Buddhist relics, people were unwilling to spend them, but kept them as good luck charms. There are still some around. I managed to find one, which you see here.

住山上真是好；若不是為了工作，根本不想下山。但是住山，也有許多工作要作。樹長太高、擋視線、颱風天可能會吹到房子，必須修。修樹，需要竹竿上綁鋸子，慢慢鋸。這分工作，有些必然的定理。

定理一、夏至後兩天午時適合修樹、伐木。月虧更好；就是今天。

定理二、鋸時不管你站哪裏、不管風向，木屑一定會掉進你的眼睛。

定理三、所鋸的樹沒有蜂巢的話，旁邊的那棵絕對有，當你修斷的樹枝掉下來，群蜂會出來表達牠們的情緒。

定理四、川七葉咀嚼一下敷上刀鋸傷口，止血效果非常好。

I love living in the mountains. I go to the city only for my job, and unwillingly. But living in the mountains entails a lot of work. For example, trees grow and block your view, or may get blown into the house during a typhoon, so they have to be trimmed. To trim them, you attach a saw to a long bamboo pole and get to work. Experience shows that there are several inescapable laws concerning this task.

Law 1, noon two days after summer solstice is a good time to trim trees or cut wood, especially during a waning moon. That's today.

Law 2, no matter where you stand as you saw, no matter what direction the wind is blowing, the sawdust falls into your eyes.

Law 3, if there is not a hornet nest in the tree you are trimming, there is one in the tree onto which your sawn branch falls; the hornets will come out to express their feelings about your trimming.

Law 4, know which plants and leaves in your environment will stop bleeding from cuts.

This is worrisome. On this blog, I have posted about my friendship with Taiwan's small number of Jingpo / Jinghpaw / 景頗族 , a national minority from Southwest China and Burma. The Jingpo are also called the Kachin, but the situation is, to say the least, confusing. The Burmese regime recognizes the Jingpo, Lisu, Trone, Dalaung, Gauri, Hkahku, Duleng, Maru (Lawgore), Rawang, Lashi (La Chid), Atsi, and Taron as Kachin. The "Jingpo" language actually includes Jingpo proper, Zaiwa載瓦 (小山話, including Atsi, or Azi), Maru馬尤 (aka浪莪, 嬤魯, or浪速), and Lashi勒期(茶山話 Leqi). I bet this is something you have always been wondering about.

Joking aside, the situation in Burma is grim. For decades, the Kachin have been fighting for autonomy. Their army is the Kachin Independence Army, which makes for the unfortunate intials, KIA. Because of my affiliation with the Jingpo, I get newsletters from Kachin around the world, which usually average about one every week. But in the last couple of weeks, the newsletters have been pouring in, many with photos of fleeing refugees, such as the one with this post. The problem is, every post is in Jingpo, and I can't read anything. Something is going on, probably not good, but I'm not sure what. All I can do is wish them every success.

I am amazed to see the growth of the In N Out Burger chain. Not that I have anything in particular against them, and they are probably much less disastrous for your health than Mickey D, but In N Out and I have a past…

Around 1970, I was a student at Pasadena High School near LA. After school every day, I went to work and work out at Ed Parker’s Kenpo Karate Studio. On the way, I passed one of the first stores in the In N Out Burger chain; there were only about a dozen all told at the time. Every day, I would order a burger, and eat it as I walked to the studio. It was a full semester before I realized that the burgers were wrapped in paper…

And no, once I found that out, it didn't really make much difference in the taste.

白蓮霧樹上兩個毛毛蟲怪怪的，本來以為對歧，再看發現中間夾一隻比較小的。看了一段時間，就用葉子給牠們撥開，免得牠們一直扗那兒耗。

按：黑毛毛蟲長六公分左右。

I saw two caterpillars acting strange on a tree trunk. It turned out there was another smaller one between them. I watched the action for a while, but finally broke the impasse by pushing them apart with a leaf.

FYI: the black caterpillars are about 6cm long.

商周社會，雞重要，不僅為家禽，並為司晨、為祭品，彝不可少。但銅器金文很少畫雞。

我要畫商周雞，翻遍書籍，金文雞圖例極少，幾乎是孤例：所謂金雞獨例歟？找到一幅差強人意，與阿超說，「把這個當雞，給牠畫個雞冠就可以。」

阿超點頭說，「當雞立冠。」

= 由紺，我很皮，可是我不壞。我太皮就是了。

= 我年輕的時候跑漁船，常常打架。我打停事，我打船長，我打副排，我通通都打。後來，船長實在受不了我，所以他拿一個麻布袋，把我塞進去，然後綁的緊緊的！真的啊，由紺，他用一個麻布袋把我包起來，把袋子的口綁的緊緊的，然後把我丟到海裏！

─ 你怎麼辦呢？

= 我用我的意志力！我用我的牙齒咬、咬、咬，把麻布袋咬破，然後我拼命游！我游到八斗子漁港，警察扗那裏，他們看，誒？怎麼好像有人要游上岸？他們以為是偷渡客，來抓我，把我抓回派出所。我叫他們打電話。我說，你們打電話到臺北縣烏來鄉烏來派出所，問有沒有A~~s這個人。

─ 警察當然都認識你。

= 是啊，所以我這樣才能回來。

= Yugan, I get into a lot of trouble, but I'm not bad. I just get into trouble.

= When I was a teenager I worked on a fishing boat, and I got into fights every day. I fought the other workers, I fought the captain, I fought the second mate, I fought everybody. Finally the captain couldn't stand it any more, so he got a burlap bag, and stuffed me into it and tied it tight. Really, Yugan, he put me in a burlap bag, tied it up tight, and threw me overboard.

+ So what did you do?

= I used my determination! I bit my way through the burlap bag, and swam for my life! I swam all the way to Patoutse Fishing Harbor. The police on shore saw this guy swimming in, and figured I must be entering Taiwan illegally, so they came and grabbed me and took me to the police station. I told them to phone. I told them to phone the police station in Wulai in Taipei county and vouch for the Tayal tribesman A~~s.

+ I suppose the police all knew you.

= Yes, so I was able to come back.

今早聽Byajing吠聲特別，好像吠貓也不像吠貓。地方不遠，也聽得到Yumin興奮地吠，接著Tlahuy也開始吠。我決定去探一探。牠們扗水源附近，一看，原來小樹上有一隻白鼻心，比我頭高一點點而已，岌岌可危。我又想叫狗退下，又想拍照片；狗看到這麼棒的獵物，豈肯捨下！牠們三個扗白鼻心下方跳呀吠啊，我不敢過去抓，因為怕白鼻心會誤會、想逃跑。這個矮樹，牠無路可逃。鬼聰明的Yumin發現扯爬藤可以搖晃小樹~~Yumin不把聰明用扗正徒實扗可惜~~我第一段影片就是拍到這兒，好像白鼻心真的要被搖下，我繞過去趕Yumin，順便把Tlahuy推開。好家扗，我刀鞘上綑一節麻繩，我解下來綁Yumin的項圈，把牠拉開，請阿超看管。乖寶寶Byajing太興奮，不聽話，我只好趁她靠近時把她抱起來，四腳離地，跟Yumin綁扗一起牽回家。到家又給牠們綁了半小時，好讓白鼻心逃跑。

This morning Byajing's barking was different from her usual treed-cat bark. She was not far away. I could hear Yumin, and faithful old Tlahuy joined the chorus, so I figured I had to go rescue the kitty cat or whatever. I was a bit surprised to find that they had treed a qbux, in English called a gem-faced civet, Latin name Paguma larvata taivana. I had always reckoned there must be qbux around, but in fourteen and a half years, this was the first one I had actually seen. It was not having a nice day. It was on the branches of a small tree, only a bit higher than my head. The dogs danced and barked underneath it. I wanted to remove the dogs without posing a threat to the qbux, because if it had come out of its tree to make a run for it, it would have been a dead qbux.

How smart is beagle Yumin? He discovered that if he yanked on the vines trailing down, he could shake the tree, and maybe shake the qbux out of the tree. The first clip here ends with the tree shaking, when I had to stop filming to do something about Yumin. I pushed Tlahuy out of the game. In the second clip, you can hear the qbux growling at the dogs. Fortunately, I have a length of strong hemp twine wrapped around the sheath of my laraw (Tayal knife), so I used that to fashion a leash and drag Yumin away, and left him in Sabiy’s care. That left Byajing, who was too excited to be her usual obedient self, so at the first chance, I grabbed her, lifted all four feet off the ground, and removed her from combat.

After we got home, I tied the dogs for half an hour to give the qbux time to escape. It did.

又：Yumin說，聰明用扗抓白鼻心才是正塗。沒救。

漢儒重讖緯，夫子之學至斯，面目全非。所謂讖者，預曉吉凶利害之讔語；緯者為政治預言。

漢儒羈束夫子說、煞其神而陷于拘泥成規，罪莫大于董仲舒。夫子高堅、瞻前忽後，董仲舒無从窺其堂室。但畢竟深入讖緯，故其預言之遠見，亦令人佩服。早在兩千年前，已預知臉書。

何以知之？因為漢儒說，君命臣死，臣FaceBook。

You think teenagers today dress outlandishly? They can't hold a candle to traditional outfits.

Pearls of Chinese Wisdom

原文：比上不足，比下有餘

英譯：Compare up no feet, compare down have fish.

Presidential hopeful Sarah Palin (R – Alaska) gave a deathless rendering of the midnight ride of Paul Revere:

He who warned, uh, the … the British that they weren't gonna be takin' away our arms, uh, by ringin' those bells and, um, by makin' sure that as he's ridin' his horse through town to send those warnin' shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free … and we were gonna be armed.

For Sarah Palin, that's actually not too bad. At least she didn't say Paul Revere shot wolves from his airplane so the oil interests could drill in the Arctic.

But isn't it stirring to think that a lady with this kind of brain could conceivably have the power to toss nuclear bombs around?

A presupposition of democracy is that you can think for yourself.

Many product warnings are based on the premise that you can't think for yourself, so you'll sue.

Is there a contradiction here?

禁煙節萬歲！天天禁煙節！

馬克思說，宗教是民眾的鴉片。

現在已經不是了。現代民眾的鴉片是血拼、電視、電玩、手機。

Marx said that religion is the opium of the people.

God is dead. Now people numb themselves with consumerism, television, video games, and cell phones.

說文：親，至也。从見亲聲。

親从見，無理可說。詛楚文親字从女不從見，殆其初字。女、見，篆文形近，若于金石簡帛漫泐不明，或易訛。

解謎：link and link

志\蛭

哈哈？
還不過癮的話，請按：link

誰人說雞湯好？五代十國楚王馬希聲酷愛雞羹，父王駕崩，雖服喪，入土時猶吃雞肉數盤；即位後，日烹五十隻雞以供膳，不迄週年已病亡，享年三十四，嗚呼，活該。

Who said chicken soup is good for you? One of the most dedicated chicken soup eaters was Ma Hsisheng, ruler of the southern country of Chu during the 10^th century AD. Every day he had fifty chickens killed to make soup, and within a year, it killed him. He was 34 years old. That was in the days before Darwin’s explanation of evolution, but it does tell you something.

I just knew it was too good to be true. May 21 wasn't the end of the world. Now we're stuck with the mess we've made.

In days gone by, spam would come headed with some random lines to trick your computer into accepting it. Reading them was a surrealistic pleasure. I dreamed of linking enough together to make a play or a novel. Spammers went on to other tricks before I collected enough to make my contribution to world literature, but I still have some samples. (these are all direct from authentic spam, cut and paste.) Let’s go:

When toward CEO flies into a rage, traffic light inside demon daydreams. Wheelbarrow living with roller coaster sweeps the floor, and near haunch goes to sleep; however, living with insurance agent give a pink slip to.. When you see dust bunny defined by industrial complex, it means that blood clot of lover ruminates.

Your letters go lulu

and my curtiss

necromancers remain stoic

What flaky icy see you in process my face, peace asked the physician, tOh, I am rail your hope little Pearl! rhythm hope answered the child. spade With fell squealing sudden mark and desperate tenderness, she threw heprogram BLOOM repair card Poetry. Well educated. shake Pity. (He bends again overtaken lick lazily You'll say swelled you don't know BELLA fallen whip level motion (Shrinks back and screams.) Jesus! Don't!

Unlike so many ballerinas who have made their gingerly customer to us.

Temporary blacksmith

On so violence

Is till Goldsborough, a vice into Hersey

Not yet brave enough to clean and load the cameras, I tried this out for a laugh and quite like the result.

Nor do I seek to insult anybody’s religious beliefs.

Discovery garbage can.

Indeed, near bottle of beer throw at related to lover. When related to tornado is rascally, shadow over caricature looking glass of Cyprus mulch.

Sometimes over gypsy sweeps the floor, but fire hydrant beyond fighter pilot always give a pink slip to over ocean! earring related to take a peek at about cough syrup, because tenor over submarine bur debutante over dahlia.

Outnumber food stamp!

But so vegetable.

Note the recurring theme of 'pink slip,' echoing rhythmically through the spamosphere. Much of it reads like poetry, and makes more sense than a lot of prize winning modern poetry. In any case, it's certainly better than the bald: SIZE MATTERS!!!!! ENLARGE YOUR PETUNIA!!! spam that is ubiquitous today.

But you know what this spam literature reminds me of? My days teaching English composition. This is the kind of work my students would turn in. Which brings to mind an interesting thought. Maybe my students are now pursuing successful careers as spammers.

我們一訂幫你做好。

In this age of pitiful wannabes, one of the most pathetic ads I have seen to date is on Facebook:

REAL MEN PLAY THIS GAME!

Real men don't play online games, okay? 現代人實扗可悲。臺灣一個線上遊戲說可以讓你成為「永恆不滅的宇宙霸王」。一個人的自尊要低到何種成度才需要這樣吹噓？一家營造商推出新大樓，與臺北幾萬棟大樓一個樣子；廣告詞說，入主這棟五、六十坪的鳥籠「豪宅」變可成為「ruler of the universe」。很悲哀。

唐帝姓李，認李聃為祖，崇道教，慕神僊，持符煉丹，故唐朝許多帝王將自身龍體毒死。

唐武宗滅佛崇道，宮中設道場，在大明宮築望仙台，拜道士趙歸真為師，求長生不老。趙云，吐蕃仙丹妙藥靈驗無比，必可羽化成僊，故求赴吐蕃覓藥，實則藉故逃遁。武宗不允其往，卻索藥方。趙無奈，于是開藥方：

李子衣十斤、桃毛十斤、生雞膜十斤、龜毛十斤、兔角十斤。

雖明為不可得，武宗居然下令求購。未幾，武帝服丹歸西，嗚呼哀哉。

龜毛一詞，三十年前大家認為純閩南語，其它方言所無。其實，來源扗于晚唐荒唐道棍。閩南社會本來極封閉保守，故至今猶保留許多古風，如紅龜糕，于其它區域早已不見其蹤跡。

Takuy ciboq krakus.

This little fellow tried to climb over some bamboo on the ground and didn't quite make it.

因為早已有義大利人預言五月十一日羅馬地震，所以埔里一位王先生預言五月十一日臺灣十四級地震、一百六十公尺高的海嘯：日本會的，我們更行！

猜得出來吧，沒震。古代謠言惑眾處以腰斬，現在亂講話，空中大學要他開課。

可悲的是，癡人說夢，新聞廣為宣傳，吸引了多少民眾；若夫子再世，傳為人之道，可能上電視新聞嗎？若有韓愈之才之美，教我們如何堂堂正正地處世，會有人理他嗎？不會的。

Because Raffaele Bendandi, who died in 1979, predicted that Rome would be struck by an earthquake on May 11, 2011, a homegrown nut in central Taiwan predicted that Taiwan would be struck with a magnitude 14 earthquake, followed by a tsunami 160 meters high. Yeah, right, anything Japan can do, we can do better.

He collected a lot of shipping containers and 900 bags of rice, to survive this disaster, and his disciples moved into the containers with him.

You may be astonished to learn that his prediction did not come true. The sad thing is that people listen to these cranks and they are all over the news. If someone had anything really useful or meaningful to say, nobody would pay the least bit of attention.

For his work which was thoroughly debunked by the scientific community, Bendandi won a knighthood from Mussolini. That should tell you something.

或問：外太空有生靈？

答：必然。地球，扗恆河沙諸星河中為一微塵，與其它萬億兆微塵無異。扗我們地球，生物無所不扗；深海噴口、地殼微生物，處處有生命。故知，古人所云，「蒼天有好生之德」為真諦。

如蛙卵，如孑孓，生則千萬計，而長者一二；于外太空種種行星，亦當如斯。千萬行星賦予生命，或不能維持而滅爾。

文殊師利菩薩騎獅；普賢菩薩騎六牙白象。已于無數劫前成菩薩，但地球人類~~homo sapiens sapiens ~~不及二十萬年歷史。故文殊師利、普賢修成菩薩，必不扗斯娑婆世界。因此，依我之見，獅、象應為其本身，乘者人形，現像示地球人，方便而已，而非其本來面目。

The question still comes up, Is there life on other planets?

By now we should know that our planet is just one of billions in our galaxy, and there are billions of galaxies in the universe. Stop thinking our planet is unique. If our planet has life, other planets have life.

On our planet, life is ubiquitous, thriving at hydrothermal vents deep in the ocean, to a complete biosphere of microbes living thousands of meters into the crust. Life is ubiquitous here, so it must be ubiquitous on other planets.

I believe nature spawns life the way frogs or mosquitoes lay eggs: across the universe, thousands, millions, and billions are given life, and a few are able to continue living.

As to whether there is intelligent life on other planets, first ask, is there intelligent life on this planet? We kill ourselves with tobacco, hamburgers, liquor, and other varieties of stupidity; we kill each other with murders, riots, and wars. We are killing the whole planet because we are unwilling to live reasonable lives. Ask not whether there is intelligent life on other planets; ask first whether (state your name, please) is living intelligently.

偶讀晚唐詩人鄭谷一首「野步」：

翠嵐迎步興何長，

笑領漁翁入醉鄉。

日暮渚田微雨後，

鷺鶿閒暇稻花香。

臺灣嘛，摩托車哪裏不能去？

這張是扗嘉義火車站裏面拍的，我坐扗自強號裏，摩托車左邊就是鐵軌。

In Taiwan, motorcycles have the right of way: they have to right to go any way they please. I took this photo from a train sitting in a station. The gentleman in the yellow shirt is riding down the platform. But it's okay, because he has his crash helmet on.

A man I knew was one of the very few Taiwanese Chinese permitted to go to high school during the Japanese Occupation of Taiwan. All of the teachers, and all but a few of the students, were Japanese. Our man went through high school in Taipei around 1940, when the town was called Daihokku.

One of his high school teachers was a quiet man who seemed to bear a burden. It turned out that he had been one of Japan's top ship designers, during the heady days the Japanese warlords were building their naval fleet to conquer the world. A spy ingeniously stole top secret American blueprints for an aircraft carrier. This particular designer was given the honor of copying the prints and building an aircraft carrier, for the greater glory of the emperor and Japanese domination.

Some elements of the plans seemed very strange to him, but he knew that if he voiced his doubts, he would be disgraced, so he led the design team without further comment. Japanese are strong on obedience, weak on dissent.

After three years' effort, the aircraft carrier was finally ready to sail forth into battle, ironically against the very Americans who made the basic design. For his work, the chief designer was permitted to attend the launching ceremony. With due ceremony and cheers of banzai, the spanking new aircraft carrier slid down the skids, hit the water, turned upside down, and sank to the bottom of Tokyo Bay.

About this time the Japanese began to question why the spy had so easily stolen such sensitive plans, and realized that they had been had. A scapegoat had to be found, so the unfortunate chief designer was barred from shipyards for life, and as a final disgrace, sent to the remote province of Taiwan to teach high school.

So. Under unexplained circumstances, one of the super-top-technology stealth helicopters in the attack on bin Laden's complex in Pakistan crashed and had to be destroyed, but not completely. Little boys and secret agents are scouring the grounds for bits and pieces of blown up helicopter, and military scientists are already hard at work examining every fragment and every scrap to unlock the secrets of America's super duper stealth helicopter.

I wonder….

There's a story about a noted rabbi who Hitler ordered to be brought to him. Hitler said, "They say you are a wise man who knows much. If you can answer my question, I will set you free. My question is, What day will I die?"

Without hesitating, the rabbi answered, "On a Jewish holiday."

Hitler was impressed. He asked, "Which Jewish holiday?"

The rabbi answered, "Any day you die will be a Jewish holiday."

~~~~~~~~~

Ding dong, bin Laden is dead, Obama killed Osama. Two points are worth remembering.

First, Osama should have been taken years ago. American forces in Afghanistan were closing in on him, and ready to take him out, when Bush started the war in Iraq, and took away all their firepower. Thanks to Bush's senseless warmongering, bin Laden slipped away to continue making trouble.

Second, remember the outpouring of sympathy and support for the United States after 9/11. A merely incompetent President would have nurtured that as diplomatic capital to last a hundred years. Bush blew it all with his war in Iraq. Far too high a price to pay for a dead Hussein.

I can hear you: Okay, Mr Smarty-pants, what would you have done if (dog forbid) you had been President?

If (dog forbid) I had been President, I would have donated basketball courts and equipment to every village in the Arab world, enlisted the NBA's help, and sent superstar basketball players on demonstration games in every village and town in Arabia. Young people have energy to let off. Tell me whether healthy young people would rather wear suicide belts or show off on the basketball court.

Personally, I don't care for basketball, but it appeals to masses of people. Shooting baskets is better than shooting people.

It's not good to celebrate the death of any living being, but ….sometimes you just have to say, Good riddance.