If we are to be responsible for the consequences of our actions, Inoue Daisuke, the inventor of karaoke, should be required to listen when Mrs L switches on her death machine. She and her husband maintain a house in Wulai and come up for the occasional weekend. I'm surprised that anything can grow within a two hundred meter radius of their place. When she starts up, the karaoke machine should qualify as a Weapon of Mass Destruction.

Her random shrieks and shouts call to mind no rhythm, no tempo, and certainly bear not the slightest relation to anything even remotely resembling a melody. This is what dentistry must have sounded like in the days before anesthesia.

When I first heard her, I thought her husband was beating her, but other neighbors explained that, no, this is karaoke. It sounds more like a SWAT attack on a gambling hell.

She and her husband are very nice people, in their late 50s, very hospitable. Once as I passed they invited me to come in and sing with them. I declined. I could surely find much more enjoyable ways to spend my time, such as pulling out my fingernails or driving red hot spikes through my tongue. Come to think of it, if I maimed my tongue in that manner, I could do a duet with Mrs L and her karaoke machine.

The bamboo shoots are shooting, slowly, but the season has begun. There are not many shoots yet, and unfortunately, the squirrels and boars have found the shoots before me. Here's something I wrote in 1999 about plucking bamboo shoots.

A couple men in the tribe are blind in their right eyes, resulting from exploding (handmade) guns. The other day I ran into one of them, and noticed a hole healing on his right middle finger, which was swollen and peeling. He had been out plucking bamboo shoots. Not seeing a bamboo snake on his blind side, he got bitten. I understand poisonous snake bites are terribly painful. He rushed to the clinic, but they were going to charge him NT$200 (say a little more than US$6). He went to the other clinic, where the doctor performed free treatment with a pair of scissors (no anesthetic for free cases), squeezing out the poison. "I am a liquy (man), so I didn't cry… but it hurt, Yugan, it really hurt. But I didn't cry.” Rest assured that I would have.

I would have paid for anesthetic, I mean. Lots of it.

嘉義山路五屋小村三車擺攤售農具、雜貨。攤販叫我過來坐坐、聊聊。看上了小刀一把，老闆也拿出各種刀讓我選。有一種勾刀，老闆說，「小偷用這種刀割電纜，你買的話，不可以用來割纜線！」我說可以用來削樹皮、作木彫。老闆說，「木彫好，可是不要砍樹！你看我們的山都不漂亮了，去年八八水災，我們漂亮的山變不漂亮了！你看到了沒有？山在哭泣。木彫好，可是不要砍樹！」

By the road in a tiny hamlet of about five houses, deep in the mountains in central Taiwan, three trucks had pulled up and traders were selling tools and various goods. When I walked by, the traders called me over to sit and chat a while. When a little hand-made knife caught my eye, the trader started peddling his other knives. He showed me a hooked knife and said thieves use that to cut down cables to sell for the copper, but if I bought it, I could not use it for that. I said it could be used for taking the bark off of trees and for woodcarving. The trader said, "Woodcarving's fine, but don't cut down trees! Look at how ugly our mountains are now. When Typhoon Morakot hit last August, our beautiful mountains became ugly. Can you see? The mountains are crying. Woodcarving's fine, but don't cut down trees!"

Today’s vocabulary lesson:

Anatidaephobia

The fear of being watched by a duck.

Useful vocabulary!

Unfortunately, I do not know the word for the fear of being watched by ducks. One will have to do.

The Shakespearian dilemma confronted while trying to find the platform to board the high speed rail:

2B or not 2B?

刻薄

Police to female driver:

"Excuse me ma'am? You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
Well, you are right, we don't. Now, sign here."

I don't intend to be overly critical, but I was a bit nonplussed by this choice bit of decoration at a park in Tainan::

Your tax money at work! Nothing but the best for your public parks!!

前幾天到臺南，首先到孔廟拜一拜儒童菩薩。不遠處就是國立臺灣文學館；原為日據時臺灣州廳，幾年前改成文學館。舊屋新用的設計、構想、佈置等等，無不讓我稱讚。只可惜來往人不多。我在文學館一再想，尤其在現在臺灣文化水平日日劇落，為甚麼臺北沒有這種文化氣息濃厚的場所，給我們北部的人薰陶？

在臺南三天兩夜，就到文學館兩次，因為第二天晚上有莊淑文鋼琴演奏。真享受！

~好在五月一日，莊淑文在臺北巴赫廳演奏，曲目一樣。~

但話又說回來，臺南的發展有些蹊蹺。五步一廟，十步一教堂，可是就是看不到公車站牌！幾乎都在成大、臺南車站一帶，照理公車應該很多，可是在臺南三天，總共看到四台公車，其中一台是高雄市的，一台是空車。計程車很難招，所坐的計程車，都小小、舊舊、髒髒，裏面的煙味濃到如果坐長程，只怕目的地尚未到達，先因為吸二手煙而得癌症。交通，這麼重要的生活問題不處理，很奇怪。

民國六十年代初，我到臺南中山公園一遊，看大家晚上在那兒乘涼、散步，印象很深，所以這次一定要再去看看。從前輕鬆、悠閒的氣氛不再：這頭下棋賭錢的人大吵架，那頭跳國標舞的音響震耳，再走過去就是唱卡拉OK，我很快就逃回成大校園。不過，值得一提的是，中山公園是我第一次看到公園水池開放垂釣！這個麼，不便說甚麼…

We spent the weekend in Tainan. Our first stop was the Confucius Temple, and then we went to the nearby Taiwan Museum of Literature. The building dates back to the Japanese Occupation, but has been renovated thoroughly, imaginatively, and elegantly. Our second night in Tainan we went back to hear a piano recital by Chuang Shu Wen, returned from Germany. The piano is not my favorite instrument, but Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, and Chopin, what a treat!

But a strange thing about Tainan is that, unlike most places in Taiwan, public transportation is almost unavailable. Tainan has a population of about 770,000; in the three days we spent around the train station, the center of transportation, I saw a total of four buses, and one was empty. Contrast that with, for example, 中壢Chungli, with a population of about 366,000. On the train back to Taipei, zipping through Chungli, I saw four buses.

In most places in Taiwan, when you want to go somewhere, you stick out your hand and flag a passing taxi. Taxis in Tainan are very difficult to find, and the ones we took were small, old, dirty, and reeked terribly of tobacco smoke.

On Sunday afternoon (April 25), near the northern end of Taiwan's North 2 Freeway, a piece of earth just picked up and moved itself, burying a couple hundred meters of freeway, along with three cars and four people.

I do not understand the geological forces involved, but from the photo, you can see that even though the terrain is not steep, the whole section of the surface of the earth just moved over, trees and all. The whole event took only about five seconds.

This being Taiwan, right wing DPP partisans immediately blamed the disaster on President Ma and the KMT, saying that heaven and earth cannot tolerate the governing party.

However, earlier this month in Tehran, the Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi said, "Many women who do not dress modestly...lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

Americans are scientifically minded. One Jennifer McCreight decided to make a scientific experiment: on Monday, April 26, women would dress as immodestly as they desired, to see if they really did increase the number of earthquakes. The event, which she named Boobquake, did not generate seismic activity, although apparently hospitals were packed with young men suffering from strained eyes.

在臺灣荒郊野外走了幾十年，今天終于首次看到野生環頸雉…從高鐵接駁車看到的。在臺南下車，離站兩分鐘，路側空田中就有兩隻環頸雉。真是美麗。真是開心能看到。真是沒想到在這種情境下看到的！！

After decades of trampling all over the wilderness of Taiwan, for the very first time today, I saw a wild ring-necked pheasant. We just got off the high speed rail in Tainan, and were taking the shuttle bus in to the city, when two minutes away from the station, we spotted a pair of them standing by the road in an empty lot. One of the last places I would have expected to see them!

April is their mating season, so maybe he was taking her out to see the sights.

小部落裏鄒族太太整理薑、談八八水災。她說，「都是產業種檳榔、種茶，把我們祖先的地搞壞了。大樹的根很深，可以抓地，可是產業要種檳榔，大樹都砍掉了。沒有大樹的根抓地，颱風來就崩掉了。」

「能不能種別的？」

「有，我們種竹子，有竹筍。去年筍子一斤二十一塊，今天聽說四十五塊，可是我們種竹子的地被沖走，剩下不多，所以雖然價錢好，可是也沒錢賺。」

「這裏應該可以種椪柑、橘子之類。」

「他們現在只想種檳榔。利潤高嘛。」

「說不定這裏可以種蘋果。梨山可以種的話，這裏也可以。」

「有是有，有人種幾棵自己吃，也很好吃，可以只有那幾棵。」

「應該可以行得通。這樣一直種檳榔不是辦法。有很多東西可以種。需要種樹，讓樹根抓地。」

「是啊，我們怎樣也要想辦法。不然下次颱風來，一樣會土石流。可是產業很大，我們能怎麼辦？不過還是要想辦法。還是要活下去，不然怎麼辦？」

A lady of the Tsou tribe sorting ginger in a hamlet, discussing last year's landslides. She said, "It's all these corporations planting betel palms, planting tea, they've ruined our ancestors' land. The big trees had deep roots that held the soil, but the corporations wanted to plant betel palms, so they cut down all the big trees. Without the big trees' roots holding the soil, when typhoon Morakot came, all the land slid away."

"Can something else be planted?"

"Yes, we plant bamboo, and there are bamboo shoots. Last year bamboo shoots sold NT$21 the jin, and I hear this year it's NT$45 the jin. But all our land with bamboo slid away in landslides, and there's not much left, so even if the price is good, I can't make any money on that." (1 jin is about 600 grams; NT$21 is about 75 cents US)

"You should be able to plant citrus trees here."

"They don't want to plant anything but betel palms. They get bigger profits that way."

"Maybe you could plant apple trees here. If they can grow apples in Lishan, you can do it here."

"There are some apple trees, some people planted them for their own use. They taste good, but there are only a few trees."

"That should be a solution. They can't just keep growing betel palms. There are a lot of things they could plant. You need big trees, with roots to hold the land in place."

"Yes, we have to think of something. Otherwise, next time a typhoon comes, it'll be landslides all over again. But the corporations are big, what can we do? But we have to get along somehow. After all, we have to keep living. What else can you do?"

山上遇到一位鄒人坐路邊用開山刀削木。我問他作甚麼？他說是作杵。用的是龍眼木，耐用又不裂。

我看了一回，問，「我們烏來泰雅的杵比較大~~比這個大多了。」

他笑笑，說，「這是迷你杵。」

In the mountains, I came across a Tsou tribesman sitting by the road carving a pestle. I said, “The pestles the Tayal in Wulai use are much larger.”

He smiled and said, “This is a mini-pestle.”

我到阿里山來吉儲蓄合作社，一位警察正在存款，也幫另一位警察存款。一個鄒族祖母帶著孫女也等著存錢。

警察：「一個月存兩千，不存就花掉，所以現在派出所所有警察都加入合作社。」

負責人Nguia女士跟我說：「從前，有一個原住民，很窮很窮，所以他想到銀行借錢。可是呢，要借錢，銀行跟他要抵押品，可是他需要借錢，就是因為他很窮，他沒有土地，甚麼也沒有，所以銀行不借錢給他。他跟神父說，銀行是給有錢人開的，你沒錢的話，銀行才不要你。銀行不是為沒錢的人開的。所以他跟神父商量，他們要想辦法為沒錢的人開銀行，所以儲蓄合作社就是這樣來的。

「我們放款給沒錢的人，都是小筆，利息很低。我們雖然是小小的儲蓄合作社，可是我們放出去的貸款有一千五百萬。我們的老闆就是我們的社員，社員就是老闆，都不是一些有錢人。每一個存一千、兩千，一個人最多只能存到五十萬，多的話我們不要。我們不要很有錢的人插手，不然他們哪一天急需要錢，抽走，我們可能撐不住。

「我們社員自己分紅。我是唯一的職員，月薪兩萬，不能再加，因為我們是非營利事業。可是因為我把多出來的錢都存起來，我每一年都帶我的兒子、女兒出國。我們下次要去荷蘭，因為我有朋友在那裡。」

警察回來，說，「黃警員拿六千二叫我存，怎麼簿子裏記六千一？」

Nguia說，「因為他現在加入社員。」Nguia轉過去問鄒婦，「加入社員費用多少錢？」鄒婦大聲唱：「一百元！」Nguia對警察說，「對了！六千二減一百多少？」警察說，「六千一。」Nguia說，「那就對囉！你回去跟黃警員說，他不及格！不及格！」警察速速退，上機車回派出所，咘咘咘咘。

Nguia繼續：「我都叫我們部落的人加入社員，教他們怎樣理財，因為我們原住民最弱的，就是理財。叫原住民打獵、在山上討生活，我們很行，可是不要叫原住民理財，因為這方面我們最弱。所以我要叫大家怎樣理財。本來我也不會，可是我找很多很厚的書來看，從頭看到尾，很累呢！可是現在我也會了。

「我們部落的人不喜歡上班，大多沒有固定收入，所以我叫部落的人，一有錢，趕快來存。多一個人存錢就少一個喝死的。」

「你看，我們開了三年，去年是全省第六名，今年我們是全省第四名！全省啊！多少個儲蓄合作社，來吉是第四名！」

圖：今年元月時，合作社還沒概好~ The Pnguu Savings Cooperative is in a small prefabricated building on stilts. When I took this photo in January, it was still under construction.

Last week when I dropped in the Pnguu Savings Cooperative, in a small aborigine village, a policeman was depositing some cash, and making a deposit for another policeman. A grandmother of the local Tsou tribe was waiting with her little granddaughter to make a deposit.

The policeman told me, "I save one or two thousand NT a month. If I didn't save it, I would just spend it. All of the police in the precinct house are members of this Co-op." (NT$1,000 is about US$32.)

The manager, an aborigine lady named Nguia, told me, "Once a very poor aborigine wanted to borrow money from a bank. But since he wanted to borrow money, the bank wanted collateral, but he wanted to borrow money because he was so poor. He didn't have land, he didn’t have anything, so the bank wouldn’t lend him money. He told the priest, Banks are for rich people, if you don't have any money, the bank doesn't want to have anything to do with you; banks are not for poor people. So he and the priest got together to work out something to help poor people, and that is how savings cooperatives were founded.

"We make loans to people who don't have much money. The loans are all small amounts, and the interest is very low. Even though we are just a small savings cooperative, we have loaned money to total of NT$150,000,000. Our bosses are our members, our members are our bosses. None of us are rich people. Our members save a thousand or two. Nobody can deposit more than NT$500,000, because we don't want big deposits. We don't want to get rich people involved, because if they suddenly needed all their money, we might not be able to stay in business.

"Our members share the profits. I am the only paid employee. I get NT$20,00 a month, and I can never get a raise, because we are a non-profit organization. But because I save whatever I don't spend, every year I take my son and my daughter for a trip abroad. Our next destination is Holland, because I have a friend there.”

The policeman came back, and said, "Officer Huang gave me NT$6,200 to deposit, how come it says only NT$6,100 in his passbook?"

Nguia said, "For his membership." She turned to the Tsou grandmother and asked, "What is the fee for membership?" The grandmother said, "NT$100!" Nguia said, "That's right! You go back and tell Officer Huang, he flunks! He flunks!" The officer quickly left the cooperative, jumped on his motorcycle, and headed back to the police station, putt putt putt.

Nguia continued. "I tell all the people in the tribe to join the cooperative, and I teach them how to manage money, because if there's one thing we aborigines are really lousy at, it's managing money. You want aborigines to hunt or to live off the land, we're really good at that, but don't ask us to manage money, because we're really lousy at that. So I want to teach everybody how to manage their money. I didn't know how to do that either, but I got a lot of big, thick books to read, and I read them all from cover to cover, that was a real chore! But now I know how to do it.

"Aborigines don't like to be tied down to a job, so most of us don't have a steady income, so I tell the aborigines, if you get your hands on some money, make a deposit as soon as possible! One more person making a savings deposit means one less person drinking himself to death.

"See? Our cooperative is three years old. Last year we were rated sixth in all of Taiwan, and this year we were rated fourth. All of Taiwan! Of all the savings cooperatives, Pnguu was rated fourth!”

Lately I have been writing much about my visits to the Tsou tribal land in the mountains in south-central Taiwan. Sabiy has been assigned to do Dance Movement Therapy weekly for a small elementary school in the mountains (total enrollment, grades one through six: 27 pupils). I go along to do the heavy lifting and help where I can. While she is busy, I wander about the mountains, and I learn what I can of the Tsou language so I can teach it as best I can to Sabiy, for use in her sessions with the children. They speak Mandarin, but should be encouraged to keep alive their ancient, complex, subtle language.

The mountains in the area were devastated last August by Typhoon Morakot, with heavy rainfall causing landslides that buried villages and obliterate roads, bridges, and buildings. People in the city have long since forgotten about the disaster and moved on to more important topics, such as who the actress of the month is dating, how long this week’s model’s false eyelashes are, and the ever vital topics of soap operas and video games. It is hard to comprehend the scope of the disaster, but it should be remembered that the culprit was not the typhoon, but rather, the roads wantonly chopped into the mountains, and careless cultivation of betel palms and tea, especially betel palms (technically, they are areca palm trees). The original forests of huge trees with deep, landholding roots have been razed and replaced with betel palms ~ to what avail? To produce social ills for all, bad health for their users, and most important, healthy profits for the investors who buy up cheap land from the locals. Betel nuts are a mildly stimulating narcotic that cause cancer of the mouth, pharynx, esophagus, and stomach, plus bad breath, red spit, and really disgusting, rotting red teeth. Simple, fatal fact: betel palm roots do not grow deep and do not hold soil.

When Typhoon Morakot dumped all that rain on the mountains, the soil did not hold, and sliding was extensive. How extensive? On the way to the school we cross a bridge, over a hundred paces from side to side; the road surface sits right on colossal boulders and you can see that the surface of the bridge has been cleaned of debris that covered it. The first time I went, I asked, "Why did they build a bridge here? Why didn't they just pave the road over the boulders?" Locals protested: "Before Typhoon Morakot, that bridge stood high above the river bed. It was very high." All those boulders were swept down in the floods. Whoever built that bridge deserves a prize for good, solid work.
(Look carefully at this photo. That line you see across the center of the photo is the bridge in the previous paragraph. Also notice how chewed up the concrete safety barrier in the foreground is.)

The principal of the elementary school is a member of the Tsou tribe. He said, "We can't keep dwelling on this disaster. It's not good for us to keep remembering that there was a disaster. I am bringing in teachers first to teach us how to crack open stones, and then how to carve stones. Every tribal village should have its own unique trait, so ours will be boulders. We will take the boulders and turn them into ornaments. We will make good use of all these stones that have poured down on us.”

I said, "You could say that the heavens gave you the stones as gifts, to see what you can do with them."

He nodded. "Maybe some year in the future if there is not a typhoon, our people will say, 'Why hasn't a typhoon come to bring us more stones to turn into art?'"

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade; if life gives you boulders, make art.

年輕漢女：山中真的很美！我看著山上的霧，美到我都忘了今天星期幾！
中年鄒男：我們在部落，不太管今天是哪一天，跟著自然生活就好了。如果常常想今天是哪一天，壓力就很大，活得不快樂。

Young Han (ethnic Chinese) woman: The mountains are so beautiful! I was watching the mist on the mountains, and it was so beautiful that I forgot what day of the week it was!
Middle aged Tsou (Taiwan aborigine) man: In our tribe, we don't pay much attention to the days of the week. We just live by nature. If you think about what day it is too often, you get a lot of stress, and life is not so happy.

Wikileaks has posted a video :: click here:: of American soldiers in Iraq killing a Reuters photographer and others, including some who came to rescue him when he was wounded. Two children were wounded in the shooting. This took place in 2007.

My point is not to blame the soldiers. They may be trigger happy, but from the helicopter they may not have been able to distinguish between the photographer's cameras and a weapon, and most people would rather shoot first and ask questions later. They are, after all, at war. Any blame is to be laid at the feet of Bush, Chaney, and the millions of American people who lack the imagination and initiative to reduce their dependency on oil.

I do not understand the situation on the streets in Iraq, so I do not understand why the victims walked carefreely down the street with a US military helicopter circling around them.

When the wounded children are being sent to a hospital, (short version time: 15:32), one soldier says, "Well, it's their fault for bringing their kids into a battle," and another immediately concurs, "That's right." Let me emphasize that the killed journalists were not combatants, and were not going into battle; their doomed rescuers were not entering into a battle, they were trying to rescue their friends. But immediately the soldiers absolve themselves of fault. I can understand how a soldier who is trained to fight enemies bravely would not want to bear the guilt of shooting children.

How expert we are at inuring ourselves to tragedy, and relieving ourselves of responsibility for our actions. William Ryan called this blaming the victim. It's worth reflecting on.

However, I will say no more, because I have just noticed that Noam Chomsky is pontificating about the war on YouTube. When Chomsky walks the streets of Iraq without an armed escort, I may pay some attention to what he says. Until then, I would rather not look like I'm standing on the same side as he is.

今天是清明節。上週從斗六回來，看到沿路許多墓園為了準備掃墓，業已噴灑農藥，殺死雜草。

不知道是現代人不習慣用鐮刀除草，或者懶惰貪圖方便，才在祖墳噴藥。但想過了沒，這樣的話，毒素慢慢滲入地下祖先的遺骸。孝道應不該如斯吧。

倘若覺得祖先死亡已久、遺體下毒無所謂，那麼何苦掃墓？推平鋪柏油，可以設停車場、可以開釣蝦場、可以設檳榔攤。如若掃墓是追遠敬祖，怎麼忍心給老人家下毒？

問題大概出在這裏：現代人生活中最重要的原則是：方便至上！娛樂至上！寧死也不肯思攷。

In the previous post, about substituting for Tayal language classes at Wulai Junior High, I neglected to mention that the 9th graders sang me this song. They told me it's the Aborigine National Anthem. click HERE to watch on YouTube:
It goes, roughly,
請你們可憐可憐我
人家的檳榔是真正的檳榔
我們的檳榔是人家的、丟掉的，
我們把它撿起來，
齁一牙，齁害牙，
請你們可憐可憐我。

人家的老婆是真正的檳榔
我們的老婆是人家的、丟掉的，
我們把她撿起來，
齁一牙，齁害牙，
請你們可憐可憐我。
Please take pity on me,
Other people have real betel nuts,
My betel nuts are somebody else's, they threw them out, I picked them up,
Hey Yi Ya, Hey Hi Ya,
Please take pity on me.

Other people have a real wife,
My wife is somebody else's, he threw her out, I picked her up,
Hey Yi Ya, Hey Hi Ya,
Please take pity on me.

誤人子弟
一個很不一樣的經驗。在烏來國中教泰雅語的Yata，今要種南瓜，向學校請假，請我代課。好吧，硬著頭皮去上。所幸，今天的課是飛禽走獸的泰雅名，能勉強勝任。蘭鵲sibekay啦、五色鳥byahoq啦、綠鳩m'qwang啦、鶺鴒kintoyang啦、雨傘節qaxa啦、百步蛇hetung啦…還是教補習班好。

Yata, the Tayal language teacher at Wulai Junior High, couldn't teach her classes today because she had pumpkins to plant, so she asked me to stand in for her. I taught the entire junior high, as there are only about 25 kids in each grade. The ninth graders were easier to teach; with the eighth and seventh graders, at any moment there were at least four conversations going on in the classroom, all at top volume.

Fortunately, today's lesson was the Tayal words for birds and animals, which I could handle: cobra, bbing; sparrow, pzit; toad, patung nahut. Unfortunately, I don't know such useful words as snot, which caused great mirth and the comment, "You know all the hard words but not the easy ones." A great shortcoming in my education that I have never learned how to say snot in Tayal. Oh well.

I came across an interesting headline:
Indian military to weaponize world's hottest chili

The article begins:
GAUHATI, India – The Indian military has a new weapon against terrorism: the world's hottest chili.
After conducting tests, the military has decided to use the thumb-sized "bhut jolokia," or "ghost chili," to make tear gas-like hand grenades to immobilize suspects, defense officials said Tuesday.

Oh, hand grenades. Well, yes, I suppose so. This brings to mind a friend who was an interrogator for the South Korean forces fighting in the Viet Nam war. He used to fill suspects' noses full of red pepper, and it encouraged them to answer his questions. When I saw the headline my first reaction was that they had come up with the nose method. I guess not. Just as well, perhaps.

But come on, wouldn't you like to fill bin Laden’s nose with red pepper?

ini kat hozil
我走近一處鄒族小型部落，一隻大型白狗出來迎接。一位太太說，「牠不會咬人。」
我說，「牠不需要咬人，只要站起來就把人嚇死了！」

the gentle giant
I approached a small group of Tsou houses. A huge white dog came out to greet me.

"He doesn't bite," the lady assured me.

"He doesn't have to, all he has to do is stand up and he scares people to death."

南島語系，東起夏威夷、復活島，經南洋、紐西蘭、印尼，西及馬達加斯加，其源頭迺臺灣語：其中，泰雅、西夏、鄒殆最古，溯至六千年前，屬今日世界現存最古老語言之首。這活寶雖面臨絕滅，但一般臺灣民眾、政壇人物，冷淡視之，隨它去吧。大概太忙著愛臺灣，沒時間顧這些。

嘉義縣鄒域來吉村一位九十歲的婆婆幫我念一到十。依我極有限的了解，鄒人數不同類物、事，似用不同的數字。但這可作為入門教材。

The Austronesian language family stretches from Hawaii and Easter Island in the East, through Polynesia, New Zealand, and Indonesia, all the way across to Madagascar. The family originates in the aboriginal languages of Taiwan. Of these, Tayal, Saisyat, and Tsou (Cou) are probably the earliest, and among the oldest living languages in the world. If you count from Beowulf, English dates back about 1600 years; Russian, French, and Spanish probably about 1000 years; Chinese probably about 3,500 years. Tayal and Tsou are roughly 6,000 years old.

In Pnguu, a Tsou village in the mountains of central Taiwan, I asked a 90 year old lady to recite 1 through 10 for me. I don't know much about the language, but they seem to have different numbers for counting different things. This is the basic set.

今天農曆二月十二日是花朝節，百花的生日：click here:: 請疼惜一切花草樹木。

沒有它們，我們也不能活。

Today is All Flowers’ Birthday, the 12th day of the second lunar month. Be nice to a plant today.

Be nice to a plant every day.

昨天遇到這條小蛇，長不盈二十公分。本來頭在一片葉下，乍看來以為是一段青藤，再看好像是蛇，用小竹移葉，果然蛇也。本來以為青蛇的幼蛇，可是看到頸上有文，不知道幼蛇是否如此？

若有仁人君子知道這是何種蛇，請不吝指教！多謝。

Yesterday when I first saw this, one end was concealed by a leaf, so I thought it was a section of vine. It’s not twenty centimeters long, and no thicker than an average pencil. Then I wondered if it might be a snake, so I lifted the leaf with a small piece of bamboo, and the snake started moving into the grass.

I thought it might be a baby Taiwan Green Snake (Cyclophiops major), but it has marks on the back of its neck. Can anybody can identify this?

Last night, when we came home, we were steaming up the steps, eager to get in the house, when suddenly I realized that my next step would place my left foot squarely on a qimbahu, a 龜殼花 pit viper, poisonous enough to keep people it bites in the hospital for a couple weeks. It was not big, only about 70 cm, or say two feet long, but I felt happy I did not step on it. It was stretched out across the step. I pulled back and, to my surprise, the snake started striking at me. It was out of range, and, to my further surprise, it kept striking and moving towards me. The qimbahu has a reputation for being very aggressive, but I had never encountered anything like this before. I moved back and talked to it softly, but it kept striking. I wanted it to get off the stairs before the dogs came to greet us, especially Yumin, who feels duty bound to protect Byajing. In a moment Byajing came rushing down the steps, wagging happily, and ran right over the snake. I think she stepped on it. The snake probably decided it was not enjoying its evening, and pulled back. Tlahuy started coming down the stairs. I ordered him to stop, and when Byajing rushed back up the stairs, I ordered her to stop. The snake coiled at the trunk of a tree by the stairs, and I very quickly walked past it, then had Sabiy come up too. End of event.

As I say, I had never seen a qimbahu so aggressive. It must have struck at me six times. In post game analysis, Sabiy and I concluded that the snake was as surprised to see me as I was to see it. There it was, enjoying a nice slither across the concrete stairs, when suddenly this huge monster rushes up and almost stomps on it. No wonder it was upset! But notice that even though it had a clear shot at Byajing, and the qimbahu is lightning fast, it did not bite her.

Attitude counts.

qimbahu
Originally uploaded by Yugan Dali

Excellent coffee is grown in central Taiwan, but the supply is limited. Coffee trees bloom only three days a year, so we were lucky to see this today.

雲林慈光咖啡

Yumin has been climbing trees again. This always cracks me up. As you can probably guess, he was trying to get at a kitty cat perched high up in the tree. He didn't make it, but he sure did give it his best.

Who knows, with practice, maybe some day…

Overheard on the MRT
很高的男生： 妳不需要減肥，妳需要長高。
很矮的女生： 我想，可是就是長不高。
很高的男生： 要不要去看演唱會？
很矮的女生： 不想。
很高的男生： 為甚麼？
很矮的女生： 甚麼都看不到。

Very tall boy: You don't need to diet, you need to grow taller.

Very short girl: I would if I could.

VTB: Do you want to go to the concert?

VSG: I don't go to concerts.

VTB: Why not?

VSG: I can never see anything.

好可惜，元宵節過了我才想出一個很棒的謎題：

頭上有鼻子，腳下也有鼻子，我是誰？

謎底請看本blog 三月一日:here::

Today is the birthday of my favorite composer, Georg Philipp Telemann. He would be 329 years old today, and improves with age every year. Baroque is my favorite music, and Telemann wrote a lot for my favorite instrument, the recorder, which especially endears him to me.

According to Wikipedia, "The Guinness Book of World Records lists Telemann as the most prolific composer of all time with more than 800 credited works. More recent studies, for example the thematic catalogues of his works published in the 1980s and 1990s, have shown that Telemann actually wrote over 3,000 compositions, many of which are now lost."

If you haven't started your commemoration yet, please begin with these three pieces:

念師大國文系，我們散文課上兩年，細讀古文觀止。畢業幾十年後，我還時常拿出來抽一篇兩篇看看。好文章，越看越好看。

古文觀止，蒐兩千年文章的精華；從兩千年的文獻收這幾篇，實在很少。所以前幾天到書店，看到有人把古文觀止削去了八九成，留幾篇為『典藏』；更甚者，有一本「古文觀止一百句」；我不懂，讀古文觀止是為著甚麼？

論語，讀了幾十年，到現在每翻閱必有奇獲。這本書，再加小戴禮記，真是出很多課題，讓人思索、掙扎。果然，顏淵喟然歎曰：「仰之彌高，鑽之彌堅；瞻之在前，忽焉在後。夫子循循然善誘人，博我以文，約我以禮。欲罷不能，既竭吾才，如有所立卓爾。雖欲從之，末由也已。」曠世作品，不經一番折騰，是不會輕易讓你入門的。所以子貢曰：「譬之宮牆，賜之牆也及肩，窺見室家之好。夫子之牆數仞，不得其門而入，不見宗廟之美，百官之富。得其門者或寡矣。」看到書店架子上「輕鬆讀論語」之類的書，愕然。輕鬆讀會有甚麼收穫？一分錢一分貨的道理：付出多少，才有多少收穫。

現代人為甚麼那麼怕接受挑戰？

Doesn't compassionate conservatism just warm the cockles of your heart? Former House majority leader Tom Delay (R-Tex) has announced that people are unemployed because they want to be. Click here if you think I'm making this up.

Mr Delay, do you also believe that girls get raped because they ask for it? and that all those nasty black people wanted to get lynched?

Let Delay spend some time trying to get by on unemployment benefits and see how much he savors the experience.

Jane Fonda taught me this: it is immoral to advocate a form of government that you would not be willing to live under as an average citizen. Now Delay has taught me to expand that: it is immoral to advocate a policy that you would not be willing to live by as an average citizen.

Yesterday I wrote that there was no harm done by the morning's 6.4 earthquake down south. I wrote that an hour after the quake; later there were reports of some damage and injuries, but overall, we got off very lightly.

Not all earthquake injuries go reported. About twenty years ago, I had a friend called Banana. She was deathly afraid of earthquakes. In one mild quake, she was responsible for the only earthquake related injury in Taiwan, and it never got reported until now. When the building started to shake, she shoved her ten year old daughter under the dining room table with such force and anxiety that she rammed her daughter's head into the leg of the table. No damage from the earthquake, just her daughter rolling on the floor clutching her forehead and screaming bloody murder.

After that, her three children drew the line. They said they would take their chances with earthquakes, but they told Banana to leave them alone and fend for herself.

From then on, whenever there was a tremor, the kids would gather around to laugh at Banana huddling underneath the dining room table.

You know what? After a while, they cured her of her phobia. She figured getting squashed by falling debris was preferable to getting jeered at by her kids.

And they were right, too. In an earthquake, you should never take refuge under a table or car. Lie next to it, and let it take the weight of whatever is falling.

We've had an earthquake, thank you. It registered 6.4 Richter at the epicenter, down south, much lighter here, up north. Fortunately, there appears to have been no damage.

The earthquake didn't hurt. What hurt was a sentence the article written by Reuters:
One of Taiwan's worst-recorded quakes occurred in September 1999.
Please! Do you mean it was one of the worst quakes ever recorded, or that it was the most poorly recorded quake?

三月十五日的謎底：
頭上有鼻子，腳下也有鼻子，我是臺灣：北端有鼻頭角，南端就是鵝鑾鼻。

說有多無聊….

Two years ago on this blog, I wrote about the search for a very rare plant which grows close to our home, called 赤箭, a kind of gastrodia. Click here<<< At that time, the botanists were able to find the winter variety, 冬赤箭, but the 春赤箭 spring variety remained so elusive that only two botanists had ever seen the plant.

Apparently it is a very interesting species. It emits a fruity smell that attracts bugs into its flower, which then closes lightly on the bug, dusting it with pollen (seeds?) to carry elsewhere; that is, if I got the explanation straight. Pretty intricate method of transmission, and judging from the rarity of the plant, the efficacy may be limited. There are very few, and they all seem to be right here on the bamboo grove on the slope by our home.

This year more botanists have been scouring the slope, and they have found the spring variety, so now maybe a total of half a dozen botanists have seen this plant. I took some photos, and this time managed to keep Byajing from trampling it.

More photos of 冬赤箭 the winter variety here::

In Seal Beach, we watched a seal surfing.
So I was somewhat disappointed
that I didn't see any huntingtons at Huntington Beach.

If you ever find yourself in the Bay area, be sure to make a trip to see the redwoods. To hell with Ronald Reagan, these ancient giants remind us of the grandeur of nature, changeless but ever changing.

When you think of redwoods, usually you think of going north from San Francisco, but actually there are lots of them on the lower peninsula. About twenty years ago, Steff took me to visit Sam McDonald County Park in the mountains in San Mateo, an unforgettable visit. Chao wanted to see them too, so after visiting Mom in Orange County, when we went to San Jose, we borrowed a car and led by google and a very suspicious GPS, we set forth.

We eventually found ourselves at an entrance to the park, but I didn't remember that there was an entrance fee, so I wasn't sure that this was the entrance we wanted. We ventured further up the road. Not far, we espied a pickup and a sheriff's car parked on a turnout by the road. The sheriff was peering down into the ravine. He said that yes, that was the entrance, and he explained that he was waiting for the driver of the truck to stop hiding. He knows the guy doesn't have a license, and when the driver saw the sheriff he ditched his truck and ran into the ravine to hide. The truck said 美麗的三蕃市 on the door, so I moseyed over to the edge of the ravine and said in a loud voice 警察還沒走 ("The sheriff hasn't left yet"). The sheriff said, "You know, it's strange that they haven't closed Sam McDonald yet, because somebody saw two mountain lions there last night, so I thought they would close the park, but they didn't, so you can go ahead, and have a nice day." Encouraging, you know?

We did have a nice time and we had the whole park to ourselves, which was good and which was not good. If there were other people, maybe the mountain lions would eat the other people instead of us. Actually, we didn't see any mountain lions at all. I'm not sure if I am sorry about that or not.

On Tet, Toan and Quyen took us to Lộc Uyển / 鹿苑 / Deer Park, the temple in Escondido founded by Nhất Hạnh一行禪師. The temple is located in very dry, barren hills studded with boulders, a far cry from the lush vegetation of Viet Nam. The ceremony proved to be vastly different from a Chinese Buddhist Tet ceremony. 在臺灣佛寺，過年就是拜：通常拜千佛懺。在鹿苑禪堂舞龍舞獅，師父還送紅包給在家眾，好不習慣。拜法師，拜兩拜，在臺灣未遇過兩拜。

On the way back, I noticed a sign on a gym: INDOOR ROCK-CLIMBING. That really threw me. For me, rock-climbing is something you do to get somewhere in the mountains, not a goal in itself (which may be why I've never been any good at the sport). In Escondido you've got sunshine at least 300 days a year, I bet, and the hills are covered with tempting boulders. Why on earth would anyone want to go indoors to climb? 參吧！

于嗟乎騶虞
May the tiger bring good luck and fortune for us all.
虎行奇運致弘福
龍乘瑞雲獲寶珠

騶虞，虎屬，祥瑞仁獸。願庚寅虎年為騶虞之吉。

玉山的禮物

現在臺灣過年大不如以前。我剛來華的頭幾年，被過年搞怕了。民國六十幾年，沒幾個大人是在臺北出生的，所以要過年，攜家帶眷回中南部，除夕夜，只有眷村還有人，臺北變空城。除夕、初一、二、三，從信義路三段走到東門，沒有一家商店是開的，沿路只看到鐵門；從臺大沿著新生南路到鐵路，大街小巷每一個鑽進去，沒有一家商店是開的，沿路只看到鐵門，真的是空城。問題是，我們幾個落難外國人，肚子也唱空城。付不起飯店餐廳的價碼，找不到食物的線索，回寓所啃書架後面摸出來的幾片軟軟蘇達餅乾，恭賀新禧。

這樣過了幾個饑荒年，實在受夠了，我想，在臺北挨餓，不如在山上挨餓，所以我大三決定在玉山過年。雖然猶豫，因為第一次爬玉山，沒趕上林務局的火車，從阿里山走到東埔。那是鐵路，不是供人走的，從阿里山到東埔，六十四座鐵路橋，一個比一個恐怖：常下雨，所以每一個枕木長一層又翠綠又滑的苔，而且很多枕木的釘子鬆掉，踩上去就勢必學貓王的舞姿，搖呀滾呀，橋高谷深，不是一件很愉悅的經驗。隧道更不要提。

可是，在高山中的鐵路橋與引力扭打，總勝在空城聽腸雷，所以我申請了入山證準備去。

我現在爬山都赤腳，部分原因是買不到合腳的登山鞋；現在難買，當年就是買不到。有人建議我到萬華的小偷市場買美軍鞋，我想這個idea不錯，就去了，找到一雙Made in Taiwan的美麗軍鞋；與美國軍隊的鞋子，貌合神離。可是還算合腳，買了。

大三，我們上學期修大學，下學期中庸。四書往背包放，南下一路上腦中都是明明德、定定、靜靜、安安、慮慮。

從阿里山走到東埔，很欣慰地發現恐怖的橋下深壑都填平了，很好走，不久就走到東埔了。上次走了一個下午，這次輕鬆愉快地走了一個小時就到了，馬不停蹄繼續往上走，不久就發現鞋跟不太對。繼續走，鞋跟鬆動。繼續走，兩個鞋跟開始脫落，走路就啪啪響，很有節奏，可是釘子刺到腳跟。只好在步道旁尋兩個平扁小石子，往裏塞，好讓釘子不刺腳。定定、靜靜、安安、慮慮，往上走。越高，雪越多，鞋子裏開始積雪。可是實在不懂，「欲正其心者，先誠其意；欲誠其意者，先致其知，」為甚麼要致其知才得誠其意？好怪。不懂。

到了臺灣最高、最頂尖的建築物，救國團經營的排雲山莊。只有管理員在，正合我意；我很怕吵鬧，尤其在山中。管理員是河南人，說他家鄉幾百里平夷如機場，不要說山，連個土丘也無。所以他能到臺灣最高峰，覺得很幸運，只是過年除夕夜一個人，乖寂寞的，看到我定定、靜靜、安安、慮慮地上山，很開心。

他支身在臺，家人、親友，已幾十年毫無音訊；當時只曉得大陸上文化大革命正熾烈，我們無法猜測慘劇的程度。也好吧。東埔以上，只有我們兩個人，除夕夜閒聊幾句，可是兩個人話不多。我吃我的乾糧，他吃個很簡單的年夜飯。他問我第二天的計畫。我說，爬上山頂之後，大概回阿里山。他跟我說，有小步道可以往下東埔走，不需要經過阿里山。我有興趣，他幫我畫了一張簡易地圖。排雲山莊裏面的溫度，零下五度；管理員給我煮了一碗薑糖水，也夠驅寒！他很早休息，我也鑽進睡袋，腦中一直想著：「所謂誠其意者，毋自欺也」，這到底是甚麼道理？

大年初一早上，門外溫度計，零下十五度，很過癮。我跟管理員談了一下，確定我沒記錯路線，就出發，往山頂走。風很大，也下霰，不打緊，比較麻煩的是雪很深，每一步陷到膝蓋以上，而我小偷市場的非軍鞋跟裏積雪。墊跟的小石子早不見了，雪裏難覓小平石。爬了一段時間，我突然想通了，所謂誠其意者，毋自欺也，我一直將「誠」當作對它人的誠意，這只是誠的表相；所謂誠其意者，對內、對自己坦然，無所迴避，起心動念了了分明；坦蕩蕩，不留情，直直看自己在幹甚麼、為甚麼要幹甚麼，這就是大學所講的「誠」；難怪禮記第一句，開明宗意就是：毋不敬。

原來如此。把這個搞清楚了，舒服多了，雖然感覺空氣稀薄。越往上走，風越大、雪越深、霰越厲，有點難走。離山頂不遠的地方，我發現地上橫放一條紅色鐵管，我很納悶，幹嘛要放鐵管給人絆腳？想了很久，想第一次來的情形，想到，這個鐵管原來是架在頭上的標誌，我腳下的雪堆的兩公尺多。

此處離峰十幾公尺吧，可是再往上走很陡，風真的蠻大，雪上凝了一層冰。不時下霰，加上我鞋裏積雪，有點冷，我決定不必上去。到這個地方就很好。我逗留了一回，看山聽風，便往回走。

回排雲山莊，管理員一看到我就笑。我不解，他拉我過去照鏡子，我才發現我後腦留在帽外的頭髮全已結冰了。我也笑，但知道不能到山莊裏，因為冰溶的話，冷水就流進衣領裏，會很冷。我拍一拍，把冰打掉一些，便取道下山，往下東埔走。

In December, 1971, I went with Adolph, a German friend, to Yushan, the highest mountain in Taiwan, at nearly 4000m. To get to the trailhead, we had to pass over 64 railroad bridges with mossy, wobbly ties and deep valleys below. No fun.
For scale, look at Adolph standing in the middle of the bridge in the upper photo.

Happy Year of the Tiger to one and all.

Happy new year

from

all of us

to

all of you

S: Yugan, Tlahuy怎麼了？走路怪怪的。
我：年紀大了，小時候亂跳，現在腳不方便。
S: 給牠買單車吧！

S: Yugan, what’s wrong with Tlahuy? He's walking funny.
Me: He's getting old, he jumped so much when he was younger that he hurt his legs.
S: So get him a bicycle!

陸世儀‧思辨錄輯要 曰， 「詩不當從沈約韻。約韻皆吳音。人知之而卒從之者。人好學唐詩，則韻亦從唐韻矣。洪武中，既有正韻，禮部頒行，經數大儒訂正，校讎甚精，奈何不從耶。」

現代詩無格，亦少詩意。詩格之極致，莫過于唐絕律。若唐詩拘于唐韻，吾人苦，只有操粵語者、越南語者易曉。不如循唐格，依今韻，是為勝矣。

現代人，尤其是都市人，一則與自己情感疏離，一則與大地疏離，所以很多文學無法產生直接感觸、深刻影響。古人每讀出師表，淚流滿面；現代人讀…有讀就不錯！

床前明月光，現代朝野促進光害不遺餘力，請問看倌，看過月光滿室的情景嗎？月出驚山鳥，遇過嗎？還必須追問，看倌寢室窗外看過野鳥嗎？

疑是地上霜，臺灣很少看到霜，寢室裏更不可能有。

舉頭找明月，招牌、路燈遮掩，不是中秋節烤肉加速全球暖化時抬頭喝酒看到月亮的話，快已忘記長得甚麼模樣了。

思故鄉，現代臺灣了解鄉愁的，只有老兵、早期留學生、外地打工的原住民。還有外勞。三十年前在松山國際機場經常看到出國人左手一把鼻涕眼淚、右手護照證件，因為那時一出國，沒五六年不太可能回來。家裏縱使有電話(也不一定有)，打國際電話又麻煩又貴，只好守信箱，跟郵差聯絡感情。現在出國是家常飯：坐飛機比吃媽媽煮的菜更為頻繁，孩子吃的是外面帶回來的便當，與飛機餐差不多，莫怪他與雙親感情淡薄。反正，到了目的地，還沒辦手機之前，就打Skype，哪有甚麼鄉愁？一樣都是麥當勞、7/11、The Gap，那幾家，怎會思故鄉？

小朋友背這首詩，朗朗上口，怕的是，留下來的是空殼子。

或許該修改。
床前電腦螢幕光，
疑是忘了關。
舉頭望窗外巨型廣告牌，
低頭思卡債。

這樣寫也許可以賺看倌幾滴淚珠。

我也盡可能不綁牠們。小時若走馬路邊就綁，以免發生危險，懂事之後不再綁﹝牠們很少踏上柏油，幾乎沒乘過車﹞。可是有時候呢，實在沒有辦法…

昨天遇到Yata，她很不情願地說，Yugan，可不可以把Yumin綁一綁，我們的菜園…原來他們這陣子辛苦種菜，有一位大耳朵開心挖菜。沒辦法。綁。有期徒刑，菜長了就放。

They may wrap me in chains of iron,
They may bind me in chains of steel,
But never can they break my will!

Very unwillingly I have tied up Yumin. Dogs should be free to roam and to rove, but dear beagle Yumin has been digging up Yata's vegetable patch, so he has to be tied up until the seedlings get a bit larger.

When will he ever learn,
Oh when will he ever learn!?

A marvelous bit of writing in Churchill’s History of the English Speaking Peoples, about the Scottish invasion of England in 1640:
One morning a Scottish horseman, watering his horse in the river, came too near the English outposts. Some one pulled a trigger; the shot went home; the imprudent rider was wounded; all the Scots cannon fired and all the English army fled. A contemporary writer wrote, "Never so many ran from so few with less ado."